Disclaimer: No, I have not decided to have a change of heart and sell this story. Your copyright is safe with me, Tammy and Anonymous Creator of Uncle Bumpo!

A/N: Again, this story contains big spoilers for Trickster's Queen. You have been warned. Again.

The next day was bright and cheery, just like Uncle Bumpo. Alanna came down for breakfast and found Uncle Bumpo putting blueberry muffins, fried eggs, (sunny-side up, of course!), and Happy Smiley Waffles on the table. She felt suddenly sick to her stomach.

Just then, Kel skipped cheerily down the stairs. She kissed Uncle Bumpo's cheek.

"Good morning, Uncle Bumpo!" She sang. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept just fine, thank you!" Said Uncle Bumpo in an equally song-ish voice.

Alanna doubted that. She had given "Dear old Uncle Bumpo" the worst bed in the manor.

Soon, everyone was at the table. The conversation was light and fluffy, just like the muffins. As it turns out, Uncle Bumpo was an excellent cook.

Alanna tried to ignite some form of intelligent conversation. "So, I hear there's a pirate ship off the coast. We should see to that..."

Uncle Bumpo cut her off. "Now, Lanna, that's not a very fun conversation. Let's talk about words beginning with the letter 'P'!"

Everyone cheered except Alanna. She hated being called Lanna. She hated Uncle Bumpo.

"Puppies!" Shouted Aly.

"Picnics!" Yelled Nawat.

"Palpitation!" Cheered George.

Everyone stared awkwardly at the floor. Alanna laughed. George had a slight obsession with heart maladies of all sorts.

Uncle Bumpo was the first to recover.

"I have a great idea! Let's go on a picnic this afternoon! Nothing's cheerier or happier than that."

Everyone clapped, except Alanna, of course.

"Oh, Uncle Bumpo!" Cried Aly. "The nestlings-I mean, erm, babies slept all night last night! You're so good with children."

"Thank you, Aly!" Said Uncle Bumpo. "I must admit, children love me!"

"They're probably just fixated with your ridiculous hair," muttered Alanna.

Uncle Bumpo touched his hair and got a very sad look on his face.

"I think someone's jealous," pouted Uncle Bumpo. "And you know what happens when someone's jealous, don't you?" He looked at everyone around the table.

"WE HAVE TO SING THE UNCLE BUMPO JEALOUSY SONG!" They shouted. "Jealousy, jealousy, I don't envy jealousy! Jealousy, jealousy, let's all be friends!"

"WHATEVER!" Roared Alanna. "Now will someone PLEASE tell me who the HELL Uncle Bumpo is and WHY you're all acting like gits!"

Everyone gasped. "Alanna!" Said Uncle Bumpo. "Bad language! Shame!"

"Shame, shame, shame!" chorused the rest.

"Now we have to sing the Uncle Bumpo Bad Language Song!" Said Uncle Bumpo. Everyone burst into song...