Le Restaurant
Chapter 5: Total Hell
Continuing the Author's Note Count, This Makes Number Fourteen, (WOW!), Another Disclaimer, and some evil Reviewer Responses, YAY!
FRF: (Being tied up to a tree with a lamp cord that's plugged into an invisible wall by xdragon0180.)
Spirit: (Turning the lamp on and off, and on, and off, and on, and off repeatedly.)
(Odd little monkeys also appear and start tickling FRF.)
Nikki: (Pours a lot of water onto FRF.)
FRF: (Gets electrocuted.) SHOCKING!
Nikki: You actually enjoyed that!?
Spirit: Wow.
xdragon0180: (Appears) My master plan has failed! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (Disappears.)
FRF: (Walks out from behind a tree.) Yeash! You guys actually thought that I would let myself get killed by a reviewer!? Why did you think I built a clone machine in the first place?
Nikki: To make illegal clones of the Inuyasha characters.
FRF: Besides that.
Spirit: You mean that thing actually works?
FRF: Yep, except for the fact that it makes fifty clones instead of one. Soo, as an attempt to pacify my reviewers who are probably pissed because I haven't written in over a month… I shall give them one of the extra clones of their favorite character. Except for the Shippo ones! Those are my cute, little, fox kits to look after! (Sticks out tongue.)
Nikki: Whatever.
FRF: Okay, I think I'll stop talking and go do the reviewer responses so we can get to the story faster.
Spirit: Can't forget the disclaimer!
Nikki: She's obsessed.
FRF: If I owned Inuyasha, this would be out faster because I would have a stupid deadline to stick two!
Spirit: Reviewer response time!
Reviewer Responses!
xdragon0180 – You're the only one who truly likes me. (Sniff.) No one else was nice enough to attempt to kill me. I modified the idea a bit to make it more deadly, but I think you could be a promising evil apprentice. Glade you like the twins!
Nessa03 – Let's see… you're welcome… and here's the update, though it's not very soon.
Lady Sango 7 – This chapter will start with Miroku, end with Miroku, and will have Miroku in the middle along with an extremely pissed Sango. So it's got a lot of Miroku. I must say... I fear you Miroku lovers. Some are worse than the Fluffy fans. Of course, I'm an insane Shippo follower soo… I'm rambling aren't I? And don't blame Shippo for snooping. I'm sure you would too if there was a tempting manila folder sitting right next to you. I know I would. Here's the not so soon next chapter.
phoebe – Ah, the joy of books and the wonders of stress! I'd be glad that I'm not her right now too. The twins were supposed to be entertaining, but I don't know how important they'll be. They're a good way to cause chaos though. What is with people and the word soon? You're the third person to use it.
FlameKittiKitti – I have no clue what your review means! New member of what? Glad you like the fic though!
WanderingWonder – Thank you, you're welcome, and I'll try. Good luck makin sense of that.
Xichiathik – Enjoying is a good thing. And I congratulate you on having the only review without any spelling or grammar errors!
chibiNeko192 – Yeash! Send one review, get four back! Glade you like the story. Hilarious is a good thing. Y-you l-l-love Kagome! Why? I can't stand her! Of course, I hate Kikyou too. I think Inuyasha can do much better than both. Here's the chaos, and the soon, and I like the design you put with your name!
FRF: There you go folks! Now then, here's the summery, restaurant description, and updated bios!
Summery, Restaurant, and Updated Bios!
Miss Sango Natsume is the owner and manager of the most prestigious restaurant in town. A five star rating, great food, affordable prices, and valet parking are just some of the reasons people like it so much, not to mention the friendly and talented personnel. Even the most famous people from all over the world have come for at least one meal. Actors, singers, the President of the United States! You name it, and more likely than not that person has eaten here. The chefs can prepare almost any meal, and as long as you have on a shirt, pants, and shoes, you're welcome to dine. Both demons and humans are welcome. The restaurant is due for a health inspection. What happens when the health inspector just happens to be Miroku?
The restaurant is five stories high. The first floor has the bakery, pick-up, and fast food sections, along with a waiting lobby and an arcade and play-place to keep little kids entertained while waiting for a table. The second story is the family restaurant. The third story is for parties. The fourth story is for the rich. Finally, the fifth story is for celebrities and other famous people. The higher the floor you're on, the more expansive the meals. Thus, just about anybody can eat there and get whatever they want. Valet is upon request only. Each floor has matching décor, and there are several glass elevators leading up to each floor, not to mention three spiral staircases. Sango's office is on the ground floor and has it's own smaller lobby and an outdoor entrance. This allows people interviewing for a job to be distinguished form customers.
Quick bios, then… ON WITH THE STORY!!! I did these like I had the characters interviewed, in case you were curious.
Natsume Sango – Age 24; Human; Owner/manager of Restaurant à Droite; Relationship status: Too angry to even think about dating right now. (She's currently pissed and gonna be even pissier, if that's a word.)
Katsuhiko Miroku – Age 26; Human; Health inspector; Relationship status: Is about to work his 'magic' on Sango, if you're willing to call it that. (I think he's gonna be in for a lot of pain.)
Higurashi Kagome – Age 23; Human; Beauty salon owner and manager; Runs an internet-dating service; Relationship status: Looking. (Still trying to calm down Sango.)
Inada Shippo – Age 18; Kitsune (Fox demon); Valet driver for Restaurant à Droite; Relationship status: Not big on romance. (I don't think we'll be seeing him for a while now, unless someone needs a valet.)
Togawa Inuyasha – Age 25; Dog demon/Human (Hanyou); Extremely conceited; Sesshomaru's HALF-brother; Action-movie star; Success reasons: He claims it's the ears; Relationship status: Still hung up over a cheating ex. (I think he's gonna make an appearance in this chapter.)
Togawa Sesshomaru – Age 28; Dog demon; HALF-brother and agent of Inuyasha; Relationship status: Refuses to date. (I think he's gonna make an appearance in this chapter.)
Togawa Rin – Age 17; Human; Sesshomaru's adoptive human daughter and secretary; Relationship status: Sesshomaru won't let her date. (he's gonna make an appearance in this chapter.)
Kitaue Kouga – Age 25; Wolf demon; Head chef at Restaurant à Droite; Relationship status: Infatuated with Kagome. (Gonna cause hell when dog-boy comes.)
Kishimoto Naraku – Age 30; Evil hanyou; Sango's business rival; tries to put her out of business; owner of Naraku's; Relationship status: Thinks he's too good for dating. (I think he's just conceited. Just look at the name of his restaurant! No new comments. )
Sanjo Kagura – Age 22; Wind demon; Ace reporter for the Tokyo Times; Relationship status: No comment. (I think she's finally wearing down, but the reporters are still scared of her.)
Takei Kikyou – Age 24; Human; Singer; Inuyasha's ex; Success reasons: Lip-sinking; Relationship status: Broke up with Inuyasha. (Does anyone want to help me kill her? I thought Nikki was a bitch, but little miss pop princess thinks she can boss ME around! Doesn't she know that the penalty for that is severe torture? And to make matters worse, she can't even sing! No new comments.)
Author's Note Number Fifteen
FRF: Yo! Me again! Just a few quick notes!
It's still Saturday.
"ramen" is speech
ramen is thoughts
RAMEN is shouting
'ramen' is word emphasis
the line thingys is scene break
FRF: I think that's all! Enjoy the fic!
Le Restaurant
Chapter 5: Total Hell
Miroku sat comfortably at a small table. He was thoughtfully nibbling on a bacon cheeseburger and some fries. His thoughts consisted of this… The waitresses here are hot. How can I get Sango to go on a date with me? Is that guy checking me out!? Please don't come over here, please don't come over here, please don't come over here. Man, Sango's pretty. Will someone shut that kid up!? Dang, I'm out of fries! While thinking theses thoughts, his eyes scanned over the people in the restaurant. When they locked with the man's from thought number three, the man winked, much to the dislike of the guy's girlfriend, and a terrified look crossed Miroku's face. It was quite funny to those who viewed it. The little kid that was crying was two booths away from Miroku's table, and was upset because his daddy wouldn't let him get an ice cream. As for the fries, I'd be upset to if I finished off a plate of golden, crispy fries cooked to perfection and still had a burger to finish. Gotta love potatoes!
The elevator gave a ding, and Miroku looked in its direction. The people who came out, as Miroku put it, were 'a goddess of the restaurant business and a bubbly angel,' also known as Sango and Kagome. After spotting his table, the two girls made their way towards it. The 'goddess' was attempting to put on a happy face, though irritability still showed clear in her eyes. As for the 'bubbly angel,' she was frantically trying to calm the 'goddess' down.
The two girls reached Miroku's table in a matter of minutes and Sango gave her standard line. "Hello, are you enjoying your meal?" Ladies and gentleman, I do believe the first domino has fallen, for now starts a series of unfortunate events, heh, heh, heh. Enter pick-up line sequence.
"Afternoon," said Miroku politely. "The meal is excellent, but it's even better now that I'm in the company of two lovely ladies." Sango and Kagome both lightly blushed at his compliment.
"We're glad you're enjoying your meal, Katsuhiko-san. Our chefs strive for the nothing less than great," Sango managed to say without stuttering. Miroku took that as a signal to execute his plan.
"Well, they're doing an excellent job. By the way, Natsume-san… I was wondering if you would like to accompany me on a lunch date next Friday? You see, I have to critique this new café that just opened up, and it's dreadfully boring dining alone." The man sitting at the table was being a real dramatist, with his carefully chosen words and unneeded hand gestures. "Besides, it never hurts to have the opinion of a well respected restaurant owner."
"I'm sorry but…" Sango began, but was cut off by Kagome.
"She'd love to!" piped the girl who was unusually quite until now. Upon hearing this, Sango whipped around in a frantic panic. Not a very good idea.
"Kagome! What do you mean, 'I'd love to!' I can't go on a date! I have to run the restaurant!" Sango was willing to attempt anything to get out of it.
"But Sango-chan, you never go on a date. And I can take care of the restaurant. I'm pretty sure Kouga-kun will help. Besides, I think a date will do you some good."
"Still, you have no right to decide who I date!" All of the frustration inside of Sango was slowly seeping out.
Kagome's next line was one of the smartest you'd ever hear. "I can't help it Sango-chan. I'm a matchmaker. It's what I do!"
Sango was about to retort when she felt a foreign object on her rear end. Her face flushed with anger and embarrassment, and she slowly turned around to discover Miroku sitting there with a dopey grin on his face. The next thing that happened caused complete silence in the room… even the small children stopped crying.
A loud SLAP was echoing through the floor, along with the voice of an upset Sango, which caused some parents to cover the ears of their children. "PERVERT! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! HEALTH INSPECTOR OR NOT, I'LL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT OF HERE!" Sango was most definitely 'not' a happy camper. Kagome had used that time to escape, but not before leaving a napkin on Miroku's table that had Sango's phone number and address.
Miroku was currently rubbing his newly hand imprinted cheek. He had snatched the napkin Kagome had left before Sango noticed and was now attempting to calm the enraged beauty. Of course, most of his sentences just angered Sango more, and before he new it, he was being dragged towards the elevator by his ear.
As Sango reached the elevator, a young waiter rushed out and ran right into her. This caused her to release her captive, and loose her balance. Instead of landing on the floor, she hit Miroku and all three of them ended up in a people pile. The way they all landed caused Miroku's and the young waiter's face to be merely centimeters apart, while Sango was inconveniently sandwiched between the two.
The waiter quickly picked himself up and helped up his boss and the man with her. Miroku was in a state of pure shock, for he had almost kissed a guy. For him, not fun! Sango was slightly giggling at what had just transpired. The expressions on the two guys' faces were absolutely priceless! The adults on the floor were looking at the odd scene as they hid their children's eyes from the not so pretty sight.
"I'm s-so sorry Natsume-sama! I d-didn't mean to crash into y-you," stammered the young waiter in an attempted apology.
"It's alright Keiji-chan. Now tell me why you were running," Sango calmly said, glancing back at Miroku to make sure he wasn't trying anything. Of course, Miroku still looked like he had seen a ghost.
"Gomen but… one of the customers on level five wishes to see you. He's complaining that his order is all wrong when we gave him exactly what he ordered. I think you should hurry. He's already started a brawl and the people with him are just making things worse!"
"Alright. Let's go!" said an exasperated Sango. Then, turning to Miroku, she said, "You. Come."
She quickly grabbed the poor inspector's ear again and, with a yelp of pain on Miroku's part, the three entered the elevator.
Keiji pushed the button to the fifth floor and the elevator doors closed with a swish. The elevator began its ascent.
"Why do I have to come?" questioned Miroku. His ear was really beginning to hurt, and as much as he was enjoying the presence of Sango, he'd rather not have her drag him around a restaurant by his poor, little ear. Didn't she know it was attached?
"Simple," stated Sango. Evil was showing in her eyes, and she was still holding his ear. "I was in the process of throwing you out of my restaurant, and as soon as this little problem is sorted out, I'm gonna do just that."
Fun. Miroku rolled his eyes. At least she's hot. Now if only she'd let my ear go. Could you at least let my eat go? It really hurts." Miroku took a shot at trying to free his poor ear.
"Let me think about that," she said. "Mmmmm… after what you did to me… nope!" Keiji just leaned against the elevator wall, praying for the signal that signified the fact that they had reached the fifth floor to come within the next few seconds. Honestly now, you'd pray two if you were stuck in an elevator with a man silently saying 'ow' every other second and your really grumpy boss.
The elevator finally dinged and Keiji bolted. The sooner he got out of there, the better. Besides, Sango could find her way to the problem easily. It's not like you could miss a lot of shouting coming from one table while the occupants of all the other tables cowered in fear.
Sango dragged Miroku to where all the noise was coming from, and then let go of his ear in order to cross her arms. She glared at the yelling man while Miroku stood behind her, mentally rejoicing the fact that his ear was free, for the moment at least.
"Excuse me sir, I'm Natsume Sango, the owner and manager of Restaurant à Droite. What seems to be the problem?" she asked.
The young man who had currently been yelling stopped and looked at Sango. He was wearing black jeans along with a deep red muscle shirt. Dark sunglasses were perched on top of his white mane of hair up against two dog-ears. He decided to direct his rant at Sango while his two companions sat back and watched.
"LOOK WENCH! YOUR DAMN WAITERS BROUGHT ME THE WRONG DAMN FOOD! I ORDERED CALAMARI AND CAVIAR! INSTEAD, THEY BROUGHT ME SQUID AND FISH SHIT! I DEMAND A NEW ORDER AND IT BETTER BE FREE!"
Sango tried to keep all of her anger in. She did 'not' need to be yelled out right now. Her voice was quavering as she spoke. "Look sir, there was nothing wrong with your order. Calamari is 'fried squid' and caviar is 'fish eggs'. You should have asked what they were before ordering."
"She's right little brother," spoke the oldest of the man's companions. "Rin tried to tell you what you were ordering. You should have shut up and listened to someone else for a change. The world doesn't revolve around you."
"Go shove it up your ass, Sesshomaru! For your information, the world DOES revolve around me! I'm only the greatest action star the world has ever seen! If this bitch doesn't refund my meal, then she must not know who she's talking too."
Suddenly the young woman sitting with the two demons spoke. "Down, Inuyasha! You're making a fool of yourself! There could be reporters here!"
"Shut up, wench!"
"Inuyasha, don't talk to a child like that!"
Sango was sick of all the yelling. A headache on top of stress was not a very good thing. She snapped. "ALL OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND! GET OUT OF MY RESTAURANT… NOW!"
"I think you guys should listen to her," piped Miroku, still rubbing his ear.
"Oi bitch! Can't you see we're in the middle of something!?" Bad move on mister movie star's part. Quick as a flash Sango was now tugging on one of Inuyasha's precious ears and heading for the elevator. Miroku and the ones named Rin and Sesshomaru following suit.
Miroku was silently muttering to himself. He wasn't sure how he could escape form Sango, but at the same time wasn't sure he wanted to escape incase she somehow managed to catch him. Boy was she scary when she was angry. At least she wasn't dragging him by the ear anymore. Inuyasha must have been in pain though, because the profanities coming out of his mouth were enough to make a chicken with its head cut off scream.
"Let go of me wench! That hurts! These ears are precious! Everybody loves the ears!" This was the overly loud mantra that Inuyasha was shouting for the whole trip down to the lobby as Sango was dragging him. Sesshomaru was himself… an emotionless bag of flesh, and Rin was obediently following Sesshomaru.
The little party made it down to the lobby, where they attracted more stares. It didn't help that one of Tokyo Time's reporters was waiting for a table with some co-workers. Oh, Sango was gonna flip if this little episode got printed for the whole city to see. But let's make matters even worse. It was that precise moment that Kagome decided to reappear… and if she went all fan-crazy over some author, I'd hate to think how she'd act if she met Japan's hottest actor. Cue Kagome's reaction… NOW!
"Hey Sango-chan, what's… OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU DRAGGING JAPAN'S HOTTEST ACTOR ACROSS THE LOBBEY BY HIS EAR!" And the 'bubbly angel' makes her return.
"Well Kagome-chan… after you left, this loud-mouthed, arrogant, jerk," Sango gave a sharp tug on Inuyasha's ear for emphasis, "started making scene to the point that I have decided to throw him out! And if he disagrees with me, I'll gladly take him to court. It's not that hard to get a restraining order. I got one for Naraku, didn't I?"
"That's nice, but before you ceremoniously throw him out, think I could get an autograph!?" Cricket… cricket… silence. Everyone just starred at Kagome like she had two noses. Here was a group of people getting thrown out by an angry manager, and one of the perkiest people in the world brushes it off like nothing and asks for an autograph! That's a real jaw-dropper.
Sesshomaru handed the perky girl a pre-signed picture of Inuyasha and headed out the door, snatching the grumpy star in the process. Sango looked slightly relieved as she turned around, until she grabbed Miroku's arm and neatly threw him out the door. "There. All done." She looked over at Kagome when there was no response. Kagome was hugging the signed picture and squealing like a high school girl who just got asked out by her crush.
Miroku decided to speak up. "Say Sango, what time should I pick you up on Friday? I have to be at the café by two."
Sango was about to respond when Kagome snapped out of her trance and answered for her. "She'll be ready at twelve! That should give you enough time to pick her up and get there on time."
"KAGOME! What on earth do you think you're doing!?" And Sango thought that her bad day was over too.
"You can thank me later Sango-chan!" giggled Kagome. "Oh, and I gave him your number and address."
"WHAT!" Sango was not expecting that, or Kagome's answer for that matter.
"I said I-GAVE-HIM-YOUR-NUMBER-AND-ADRESS." Sango's response, "Thank you, Mrs. Literal."
Deciding to break up the little spat, Miroku spoke. "It was lovely meeting you two ladies. See you Friday Sango. Bye!" And with that, Shippo pulled up with Miroku's car before anyone could say another word.
FRF: There, done! That took awhile. I think I rushed the chapter ending, but I couldn't help it. I had an idea, totally forgot it, came up with another idea, and then lost it halfway through the chappie so this is the result. I hope you like it!
Nikki: I wonder how many people forgot about us?
Spirit: Don't you mean 'her' Nikki? Technically we aren't real.
Nikki: Shut up before I make your day worse than Sango's!
Spirit: Shutting up.
FRF: Don't forget to review! Happy Martin Luther King Day!
