Monica's
POV
"Pheebs where is Mike, he should be home from
work by now its late" Rachel
looked worried
"Mike well he... Rachel, Mike left me" Phoebe's tears welled in her eyes.
"What why?" Rachel was whispering, at a yell.
I was worried for my friend
because Phoebe was in love with Mike,
and was going to have kids, 7 to be
exact and be a 'soccer mom"
I could tell Rachel wanted to know what was going on. I had known her
just that long.
"Because of the cancer. Freaking cancer. The fact I can't have children anymore doesn't help either."
"Oh Pheebs, that's terrible I knew Mike was a jerk the
second I met him, how
rude!" there was a silence and I guess
Rachel decided it was smart to speak soothing words of wisdom;
"You know Pheebs, you're better off without him, you're to
good for
him"
"That's the thing Rach! I love
him! I want him, and need him, especially
because and I can't
deal with my problems on my own!"
" Phoebe, look at
me...look at me, you will always have us okay. Now tell me
what
happened"
Before she tells the story she said;
"The only
funny thing, which isn't funny at all is mike lied to the court
and
filed our divorce under irrencialable differences. And well this is
what
happened." She began telling her story, like a
professional story teller;
MONTHS EARLIER-91/2
months earlier, omniscient
" Hi honey, how was your
day"
"Phoebe we need to talk"
"About
what, oh kids! We can have 7 and be like the Vontrap family, like
we've always wanted! Oh wait no, I can't have any." She
remembered the truth, and was caught completely off guard;
"No, about our future"
"Mike, it's going to be okay."
"It's too late Pheebs. I cannot deal with all this right now."
' Mike, sweetie, I know I'm a demented freak now, but we can work past that"
"No phoebe, I'm leaving you for another women" Mike says.
"I can't believe that." Says Phoebe.
"What did you always tell me?"
"I told you to do what's best for you, to find yourself, to never let me take away your identity. But, no Mike don't leave me! I need you now!"
"Phoebe NO! Okay? You can deal with this on
your own, I don't need your
bourdon on my back"
"
What mike when you married me you promised to stay in my sickness!
And
guess what I'm very sick!"
"Phoebe I want a divorce"
"No!"
"Yes."
"
Fine you know what I don't need you, or anyone else, I can do this on
my
own! Now get out of my home, and I'll see you in court"
"I'll be glad to, I'll see you there"
AT COURT- MIKE AND PHOEBE AND THERE WITH THEIR LAWYERS-9 months earlier, omniscient
"So you, Mike Hannigan, you are divorcing Phoebe
Buffay Hannigan under the
claims of irreconcilable differences?"
the judge asked eying Mike over the
paper.
"Liar." Whispered Phoebe.
Mike watched her. I'm going to hell, he
thought. He looked over at Phoebe.
She was broken; there was
no other way to put it. He looked over at the dead
plants on the
windowsill. And he looked at her, and though he is sure she
does
not realize it she skims her hand across her bare scalp.
"What
did you say?" the judge asked, eying Phoebe and staring at her
head
and hairless brows at the same time.
"I said 'liar'." She lifts her nose in the air a little.
"Oh?" the judge asks.
"Phoebe I'm not lying." Mike
whispers, and puts his hand on her knee, she
slaps it lightly.
Don't touch me unless you love me, she thought.
"You promised to take me in sickness and in health, forever and
ever until
death do us part." She said.
"Yes," Mike was quivering, "I know."
"Only cheats go back in promises."
"Oh, come on Phoebe this is hard on me too."
"Yeah, uh-huh, I'm sure it is. You don't think it's hard on me."
"I know its hard Pheebs."
"Sure you do, you're not the one losing her
hair that she has had all her
life, and losing weight, and who
sleeps all day and is sick all night."
"Phoebe."
he reaches out to touch her hair, just before remembering it is
no
longer there.
"You're not strong." She says.
"I know I'm not."
"I am." She says forcedly.
Tears welled in Mike's eyes.
"Yeah, you are strong Phoebe."
"And even if I have to leave,
I'm not scared. I know where the gods will
take me."
"I am scared." Said Mike.
"And you're not the one who
has to possibly face leaving everything she has ever
known. I
don't even know if I can see the sun Up There."
"Goodbye
Phoebe." He kisses her on the top of her head and walks out of
the
court.
"I'm sorry ma'am." Says the judge "Would you like to take the papers?"
"Yeah, yeah I would." Phoebe says.
On her way out, Phoebe
stopped by the typist who typed up everything she and
Mike had
said to each other.
"Miss Buffay," she says. Phoebe
turns around and looks at the small dark
haired, blue-eyed
woman.
"Yes, Miss." Phoebe says. This woman
reminds me so much of Monica, Phoebe
thought.
"Just so you know, I think you are an incredible woman."
"Thank
you," says Phoebe. Did I lie to Mike about being strong?
I think I
did, She thought. No. Maybe not. Maybe she did
have a little bit of strength
left.
END OF
FLASHBACK
I could tell Rachel had heard all she could
hear, she was devastated and she had been
through a kind of
"divorce' years ago with the man she was now married to so
Rachel knew how phoebe felt. And now it was obvious Rachel was
more upset about the way she had acted earlier. Poor Pheebs she
thought and then she spoke aloud, and
apologizes; "Oh
my god Phoebe, I'm so sorry"
Phoebe replies right away
the truth and it was an instinct "Oh don't be
sorry, I'll
survive"
"Yes you will, and remember you'll always
have all of us close by, now
Pheebs, I have to go to bed, its
late, I'm tired…and Ross is waiting, good
night, see you in the
morning"
"Night"
ROSS AND
RACHEL-IN THEIR BEDROOM
I could hear everything and see
everything because the door was cracked open. Ross and Rachel were
snuggling in bed, covered only by the sheet. Rachel was wearing
simple light bur two-piece Pajamas and, Ross a white t shirt and
"boxer pants", I knew what Rachel was thinking I
better talk to Ross about what phoebe
said.
"I think we should move back to New York." Rachel says.
"No, I have my job!"
"My god Ross, it's just a job you can get another one."
"It's much more complicated than that Rach."
"Oh, let me think here, what's more important friends or career? Haha?"
Rachel looked fiery angry, and she folded her clothes into the suitcase.
"Ross look at her, she's sick."
"There are a lot of sick people in this world. What has Phoebe done for us in the past five years?"
"What about the ten years before that?" she questioned. "Was your job there when you were torn apart by divorces and crumby relationships?" Go Rachel, I think.
"No."
"What has your job done for you Ross?"
"It helped me define myself."
"No. Ross. You need people to help you define yourself."
"I have you, Danielle and Emma."
"Ross, she has cancer."
"She'll be okay Rach, believe me. I love Phoebe too."
"If you loved Phoebe, we wouldn't be fighting now."
"She's all right alone."
"Phoebe can't drive anymore, she can't play guitar, she can't stand on her own two feet."
"Rach, she's the strongest person, I've ever known."
"Strength can die out. She's tired. And you have to stop putting yourself first."
"Rachel!" he screams "That is where you are wrong! I'm not putting myself first. I am putting our family first. We have a life in Chicago, we can't just up root the girls. And we need the money."
"And I need my friends. All six of them." Rachel said firmly.
"You've survived five whole years without them and her."
"I know Ross, but I guess you don't know how much of a good friend you have, until you realize that you could lose her, any moment of any day."
"Death can come at any moment."
"I know, but I just never thought it could happen to someone who I love." She said, and then threw the suitcase into the closet.
EMMA & DANIELLE-Other guest room, that night
When you sleep in the living room, and everyone forgets to shut their doors you can hear everything. I can listen in on Emma and Danielle in the guest room between Ross and Rachel's guest room, and I could hear everything.
"Would you quit looking at yourself in the mirror Emma?"
"Why?"
"You have become like all funny about your prettiness and stuff. Pass me the CD case please."
"Fine."
"Okay Danielle the reason I look in the mirror all the time, is because I want to make sure I look good"
Emma was a beautiful child, the exact image of Rachel.
"Why is this a bad thing?"
"Because you should act your age and your gender, like a lady," she lifts her nose in the air.
I think Emma and Danielle hear a bang against the wall, they sneak out of the bedroom, where Aunt Phoebe is sitting on the floor near the door. Her head was between her legs which were all bruised, and her green eyes were clouded over with round tears.
Phoebe stands up and comes into the room and says "You don't think I can stand on my own 2 feet anymore!"
"Oh my god" Rachel whispers.
Ross retorts "Phoebe we didn't mean it that way, its just..." Ross cut into Rachel's line; "Pheebs have you heard this whole conversation?" Rachel asked obviously concerned.
Ross says matter-of-factly "Phoebe you are ill, and you will need somebodys assistance, but not necessarily ours"
"Ross we are moving back to New York!"
"You two I do not need to be taken care of by a nurse, nor do I want to be!" Phoebe yells.
"Ross we are moving to New York to help Phoebe!"
"For the last time I don't need your help!"
Emma must of heard the yelling because she ran into the bedroom , slams the door, and yells "What is the matter with all you guys?"Danielle starts crying in the other room.
All
the adults turned to see Emma standing at the entrance of the room,
she
had a beet red face, bags under her eyes, and she was shaking
like a can of
condensed whipped cream that was about to blow up.
Emma needed to put some
sense in the adult's minds, with out
physically hurting them, or emotionally
hurting Aunt
Phoebe.
"Why can't you all agree on something in the
morning? It's late and now
Danielle is crying, all because of you
and your actions!"
Ross demands "Emma go to your room now! This is none of your concern"
"Yes it is, we are in the other room!"
Rachel says "Emma don't lip your dad off like that!"
"Fine but one more thing, its not always what you want" and I knew Rachel believed that now more than ever.
The three of them were left in the
bedroom, with a slam of the door once
more, they were left in
silence. No one spoke until phoebe let tears fall
from her eyes,
in sadness and anger
"I hate you guys, especially you
Ross!"
"Phoebe don't be silly" Ross retorts
"No I do hate the world and the world hates me, I
shouldn't of even told you
about my problem, Rachel"
"Why?" she whispering as for she was now crying
"I knew you
would tell Ross, and you and your family shouldn't be here, I
don't
need you!"
"Phoebe I think Rachel and I need to be
alone to figure things out, so now
would be a good time to
leave"
"What about phoebe? Shouldn't she be a part of this?"
"No, if Phoebe's ill she should get her
sleep, Pheebs we'll talk to you in
the morning"
"All right, night guys who have now ruined my life"
Phoebe left the room,
more hurt with pain than she had ever had from her cancer, this was
the pain of almost losing her 2 best friends, but she was still
angry, and knew why, but wasn't sure if she had a reason good enough
to act how she was acting at
these moments in time.
Phoebe
saw on her walls the pictures that she painted of Gladas and some
other girl; one of them came out of the picture frame. Phoebe
thought;
"Do I really look like these pictures? Or is my
imagination getting the
better of me? Should I go on the trip to
Vegas? And what will Joey of all
people think?"
And then she thought some more; maybe it was true, maybe she lost everything. She could feel her friends and her growing apart. She had lost her hair, her beauty, her husband. That was done; and she couldn't undo that, but she could not let herself lose control, strength, or most of all identity.
