And here is the third installment. Let us all pray to God that this is better than the last one. I hated it. It was just so boring.
Oh, and by the way, I don't own Stargate. I never did, and I only have a twenty, so my chances of buying it are somewhere in the negative billions.
SGA IS THE BEST BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT!
"What's that?"
Emako jumped. She had been so busy writing she hadn't seen Major Sheppard andDr. McKay enter the brig/jail.
"Legal pad." she replied, resolutely flipping said pad closed, and standing up from the bench.
"No, really." Sheppard commented.
"Yes, really."
There was a small silence as Emako walked to the edge of the cell, Sheppard crossed his arms, and McKay smirked slightly.
"So, Levine, what are you doing here?" Sheppard asked finally.
"Standing in a cell that used to belong to a Wraith named Steve." Sheppard raised an eyebrow.
"And how exactly do you know about Steve?"
"Would you believe me if I told you that I saw it on TV?" Emako retorted. Sheppard started.
"TV? Like Sci-Fi channel, Stargate show?" he inquired.
"Yes." Emako answered simply.
"That's not possible." McKay cut in.
"Which is why I was crawling around in the ceiling for the better part of the morning." Emako explained.
"Who are you?" Sheppard asked, just as McKay opened his mouth again.
"For the time being, I'm Emako Levine, from Tannersville New York, and not a very happy camper about being locked in a cage."
"For the time being?"Sheppard repeated. "What exactly does that mean?"
"It means she's stonewalling you." McKay interrupted.
"McKay, when I want to talk to you, I'll let you know." Sheppard said.
"Well, why am I here then? I could be at the lab packing stuff, checking on devices, eating lunch, making sure all my calculations for the grounding stations are correct..."
"Grounding stations?" inquired Emako suddenly.
"Yeah, grounding stations." McKay answered. "Why, does something happen during the...Ouch!"
McKay glared at Sheppard, who'd hit him on the arm. "McKay. Shut. Up."
"Major, she could have vital information about what happens! For all we know the Wraith show up and...stop doing that!" McKay glared again as Sheppard smacked him again.
"Levine, do the Wraith show up?" Sheppard asked.
"Nope." she replied.
"See, McKay, you got all worked up for nothing. Again."Sheppard reassured him, turning back towards the cell. "Which leaves us with, who are you?"
"I believe I already answered that question." Emako stated.
"You said 'for the time being', which means absolutely crap to me."
"That's the point."
He glared at her, although after falling at of the ceiling into the control room and being chased by security guards, glaring wasn't working as well as it might have. Perhaps knowing this McKay's smirk was back in all its smug glory.
"Okay, then, who will you be say... a week from now?" Sheppard rephrased.
"Always assuming I'll live that long..."
"I thought you said the Wraith didn't show up!" McKay exclaimed.
Sheppard sighed, and turned to face the slightly panicked astrophysicist. "McKay, you're here because I want you to translate any technobabble she might throw at us. Not to faint. Please, for once in your life, be quiet." he faced Emako again. "Now, as annoying as he is, he has a point. If the Wraith don't show up, what happens."
"Did I say anything happens?" Emako asked innocently
"No, you said there was a chance you might not live. Which implies something bad." McKay clarified, jumped out of the way of Sheppard's hand just in time.
"Are you going to tell us anything useful?" Sheppard asked, trying with all his might to ignore McKay.
"Are you going to do anything with it if I do?" Emako responded.
"Well, that all depends on what you say, doesn't it?"
She regarded him for moment before shrugging. "What the hell. I've probably gone crazy anyway, so it's not like it will affect anything. The Genii find out that the city's being evacuated, and send a team through the stargate to take over the city. Drs. McKay and Weir are held hostage by the leader of the team. The Genii learn of the plan to disconnect the grounding stations to channel lightning power through the city to power the shields, and send a few guys to shoot Major Sheppard. They end up shooting the grounding station instead. During all of this, Dr. McKay contacts Major Sheppard, who in turn contacts Dr. Beckett, Ms. Emmagon, and Lt. Ford, who are on the mainland. At this point, no one is paying any attention whatsoever to me, so I can say whatever I want. Peaches! Gay peguin sex! Down with the Yankees! Ya!They fly the jumper to the city in the Eye of the storm to help Major Sheppard. During this time Drs. McKay and Weir are fixing the grounding station with the leader of the Genii, Kolya, but they are interrupted when you shut the power off. Kolya threaten to kill doctor Weir if you don't turn the power back on with in ten minutes, so you go to turn the power back on. The station gets fixed, and the three of them go back to the Control Room. Dr. McKay pretends to raise the shields, then tells Kolya that it didn't work, so the said terrorist gets pissed, and makes to drag the doctors through the Stargate, Sheppard and Ford shoot the remaining Genii, and with the exception of the two guards shot when the Genii entered the city, everyone lives long enough for the show to be renewed."
Both men blinked simultaneous. In the background, Emako saw a guard lift an eyebrow and smirk slightly.
"So...basically a lot of really bad stuff happens." Sheppard summarized.
Emako shrugged again. "It was a two-parter."
"Ah."
The guard silently shook her head in the background, grinning.
"I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this is very weird for all of us." McKay began. Emako rolled her eyes. "Amen" she agreed.
"So, I think it's safe to say we should move on to a different topic." McKay said, glaring slightly at Emako.
"Works for me." she agreed. "So, what's today's date?"
"October 15..." began McKay, but he was cut off by a bemused Major.
"Excuse me, who's in charge here? Because I could have sworn it was someone called Sheppard. And please, let me know if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's me."
McKay made to open his mouth, but Emako beat him to it. "It's a little unsettling if you don't know your own name, Major."
"Plus, if I'm reading into this correctly, she's about to launch into the 'technobabble' you brought me here to translate." McKay chimed in.
"Did I ask for your opinion, either of you?" retorted Sheppard.
"Yes." they replied in unison.
Sheppard looked between the two of them, looking slightly disturbed. Behind him, the guard's shoulders were shaking in silent laughter.
"Are you two related?" he asked.
"No." Emako and McKay answered.
Sheppard edged away, and the gaurd let out a quiet stream of giggles, punctuated by snorts. "Okay, you," he said, pointing at Emako. "if you're going to do the technobabble bit, do it now and get it over with, you" he said, turning to McKay, "translate, and you," he faced the guard, "stop laughing."
"M'sorry sir." she replied in an Australian accented voice, still grinning broadly.
"Right then, technobabble." Emako said. "Always assuming I haven't been out in the infirmary for months, I've somehow traveled through time. And because it's impossible for the show to air before the material has happened, again always assuming, of course, that the Stargate TV show is an elaborate cover-up for the real program, and that I haven't been sucked into some alternate universe, the most plausible explanation is that I somehow got sucked into a wormhole, which then connected to the one here. Or, you know, I could have gone insane, which is probably the most likely explanation."
"That's a pretty shoddy theory." McKay pointed out. "And time travel's not possible. At least not backwards."
"Hey, I'm working with bits and pieces of conversation overheard while I was in the ceiling and running from security. Give me a break." Emako retorted. "And time's just a fourth dimension, right? Wormhole operate by forming wrinkles through space, it wouldn't take much more than some weird anomaly the fold time along with it."
"That's true." conceded McKay.
"While I'm enjoying being left out in the dark, could someone translate that to English please?" the Major asked.
Emako snorted. "That was English."
"Shut up." Sheppard snapped, "McKay, simpler English, if you please."
"She thinks she fell through some random wormhole, which propelled her through space and time to here." McKay answered.
"Is that possible?" Sheppard asked.
"Yes, but she'd have to have traveled through a very unstable black hole, which would mean she should be about the size of a pinhole right about now." McKay explained.
"Well, obviously I'm not." Emako pointed out.
"Which means you didn't come through a black hole, which also means you're lying."McKay stated.
Emako raised an eyebrow. "Quantum theory."
"You can't be serious." he protested.
"Only explanation I can come up with." Emako replied evenly.
"It's never been reliably proven though. I mean, you'd need uniform theory to even begin to calculate for that sort of thing. And that still doesn't explain how you managed to not be crushed. You would have had to been encased in some sort of intense anti-gravity field, propelled at very high speeds."
"What's she talking about?" Sheppard asked.
"Quantum theory- the idea that, at the sub-atomic level, everything is possible." McKay explained.
"And...?"
"Basically it means that everything, no matter how bizarre or weird, has a chance to happen. For example, it's possible for me to walk right through the bars of this cage thing you have me in, but the chances of it happening are so minute that I'd have to keep trying for nearly an eternity for it to actually happen. Or at least, that's how it was explained to me." Emako explained evenly.
"Really?" Sheppard said. "That's physics?"
"Yeah, really. It's the sort of physics many physicists wish would go away- or at least be simpler so they could come up with some sort of uniform theory, but still physics."Emako replied.
"And how do you know this?" Sheppard inquired.
"I read, Major." Emako answered shortly.
"Contrary to popular belief, so do I. And all the physics mumbo-jumbo you just sprouted doesn't ring any bells."
Emako snorted slightly. "You obviously weren't reading the right books."
"But why Atlantis?"
"Random luck. I could have probably ended up on Jupiter thousands of years from now, or the vacuum of space shortly after the big bang."
McKay opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by the sound of radio static and Dr. Weir's voice. "Rodney, Major, you've been in there for half an hour. How's it going?"
"Not very good, Lizzie." Major Sheppard replied. "She's not really cooperating."
"Has she said anything?"Dr. Weir asked, soundly slighted annoyed.
"Oh, she's said plenty. Just not anything thatwe want to know."
"Well, finish up down there soon. Zelenka has requested your help packing some of the science equipment."
"Okay, be there soon." Sheppard replied, shutting off the radio. He turned to Emako. "Look, you strike me as a very intelligent, well-read, beautiful young woman, so can't you see the sense in just telling us where you came from, and why are you here?"
"Okay two things; A-Stop flirting with me. I'm not really interested in guys twice my age, and I'm little worried if you're interested in me." Dr. McKay let out a tremendous snort, and guard succumbed to another fit of laughter. The Major stared at her with appalled shock. "And B-I did tell you where I'm from. New York. The Empire State. The place with the completely screwed up tax system and major education problems. I told you two weeks ago. You can ask Dr. Beckett, I believe he was there."
"Did you just say... alright that's it. I don't have to take this. Come on McKay."
Still grinning, McKay followed a seething Sheppard as he stalked out of the room.
THIS IS A SPACE, BUT YOU MAY READ IT IF YOU LIKE
"That was amusing." McKay commented as the door to the brig closed behind him. John glared.
"You would find it amusing, you have the same, sick, twisted sense of humor she does." he grumbled. "Look, did anything she say incriminate her in any way?"
"What didn't incriminate her?" Rodney replied, before seeing the bemused look on Sheppard's face, and hurriedly adding. "Her whole thing about the wormhole practically screamed 'spy'. There absolutely no way she could have come through a wormhole without access to some very advanced technology. I don't mean Ancient advanced either. I mean more-than-Ancient advanced. She was sent here on purpose. That's the only logical explanation. The only one."
"And quantum theory..."
"Has absolutely no bearing here."
BROWNIE POINTS TO WHOEVER CAN GUESS WHAT THIS IS
Meanwhile, the guard watched as Emako returned to her bench, scooped up her pad, and flipped it back to the point she had left off at. She put pen to paper, then hesitated, before looking up towards the ceiling.
"You know God, sometimes I think you enjoy putting me in nearly impossible situations. Not that I blame you..." she trailed off reflectively, before shaking her head slightly and returning to her diary.
SO, WHO HAS BROWNIE POINTS?
My God, this took me over a month to write, and it's total crap. All it is, is seven pages of snark and technobabble, and the Major is a bit out of character.
On another note, did anyone find my Easter egg?
