Phew…it's been a while since I last updated. Programming has had my butt glued to this chair, writing code, code, and more code…and somehow, I finally managed this piece, between breaks. Many thanks to Lil-Samuu for the song, lyrics, and guidance! I know it barely does her efforts justice…but I hope she likes it. Thanks again, Lil-Samuu!

Anyhow, please read, review, and enjoy!

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Some Say – Kristian Leontiou

Poem from Zelos' POV.

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The Real Me

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As I walk about the frozen streets of Flanoir…
It is near dusk, and it is snowing…
Some would say that the scene is simply beautiful.
The reddish light, reflecting off of the flakes of ice…

However, the crimson beauty of this evening,
Snowy and wondrous, rare as it is,
Sadly holds no charm in my heart,
As I look about, for something to do…

Sheena just kicked me out of the inn…again…
She's so cruel…I mean, how could I help myself?
And just for talking to another girl…sheesh!
I'm not about to sit around for the next six hours…

Man, it is SO freezing cold…
Too damn cold to be out and about…
I cannot help but feel my arms twitch,
As the chilly winds blow through my light jacket…

Okay…so I sweet-talked the receptionist…
Just a little bit…really…!
She was so cute, though…I had to say something.
Saying nothing would have been a terrible crime…

And of course, like one of those hidden-curtain deals,
I turned to find Sheena standing behind me, red as a cinder…
I guess she didn't agree with my reasoning,
Not from the way steam was pouring from her ears…

And so, the "beloved Chosen" is once again evicted…
Thrown out to the streets, to freeze to death…
She's one mean hunny, I'd say…
But I think she can still hear me…so, yeah…

I know everyone thinks that I'm a scrub…
A flirt, a philanderer, and a playboy…
And I do love the girls…and the ladies…
Because they are all so wonderful to me…

But deep inside, I don't really fall for any of them.
I say my cliché phrases, and butter them up…
But is my affection real? I guess it is…sometimes…
But most times…I don't know.

It sounds stupid…I know, I know…
You can just come out and say it…because it is.
Even I can't hide that from myself…
I'm sure the ladies I chat with know it too.

While thinking about this, I find, to my surprise,
I have walked myself to the far side of town…
Oddly, though, it feels rather nice…
Just to be alone for a bit…away from everything…

My heart feels so heavy…so full of lies…
Lies about all kinds of things…
About who I like, and love, and hate…
And about little things…

No more trouble in my soul…
No more time to make me whole…
So today, I tried to tell you…
I'll be on my way…

However, there are some lies,
Which, if revealed, would change my life…
They are indeed serious…and are part of my darkness…
It is a burden I would love to be rid of, once and for all…

But how can I say it to them?
How can I turn around and tell them…
Exactly who I am and what I stand for?
Would they ever trust me again…?

I already know the answer to that one…
I'm sure Colette could forgive me…maybe…
But the rest…would scorn me for eternity…
And I really don't want to risk that…

It feels somewhat odd to say this…
But in this party, now, I am most content.
I can almost be who I really want to be,
While having friends who are willing to support me…

Show me where the answers live…
Show me where the truth forgives…
In my head, I've tried to reason…
I'll be on my way…

I guess every good thing has a price, though…
And for me, that price is my honesty…
Oh, how Sheena would kill me if she knew…
An agent of the angels…and a traitor…

I just want to come out and say it to them.
I just want to come clean…with them, and myself…
I just want to be rid of this burden…
I just want to end this chain of lies…

Why am I so scared, you ask? It's simple, really…
Beyond this ragtag group, I have no real friends.
I have a sister who scorns me…and…
And no one else…because no one else trusts me…

What kind of life would that be…?
I guess I could make new friends, sure…
But to lose the ones I have now, in such a way…
Nothing would hurt me more.

Some say the road is clear…
Some say confront your fear…
Some say, well, can you feel the love that I do?

And back to the topic of flirting,
I will admit; it's not always an act.
But I'm very selective about the real deal…
And you all know who my real target is…

The real reason I act that way? Haha…alright…
I guess you'd say…because it's what I want them to see…
Because it's about the only thing I'm really good at…
Because the "real me" is even more pathetic…

I mean, when you take a good look, what am I?
I'm a liar…a lousy liar…and a terrible playboy…
I don't even have the guts to come clean with myself…
And it would be so easy to do it, too…

It doesn't take much…right?
Just a little courage…and a little honesty…
They're my friends…they deserve to know…
And I'm not talking about the flirt they think me to be…

Why do people always change…
When memories always stay the same…?
In my head I've tried to reason…
I'll be on my way…

Just go up to Sheena, and the others,
And tell them who you really are.
Tell them that you're an agent of Cruxis.
Tell them that you're their sworn enemy….

Lloyd would probably be confused…
Colette…would probably cry…
Genis would hate my guts, period…
And Raine already does…

Regal would simply be disappointed…
And on that matter, so would Presea…
Which leaves but one…
My precious Sheena…

She'd probably draw her weapons,
Ready to kill me, just like any other enemy…
Or she'd be devastated, at the severity of my lies…
Wishing I were lying again…that it wasn't real…

Some say the road is clear…
Some say confront your fear…
Some say, well, can you feel the love that I do?

And either way, I'd be devastated.
Hurting Sheena is the last thing I'd want to do…
But is there another way, another outcome?
I can't think of one…and there really isn't one, anyway…

I try to put the matter off for a moment,
Finding myself right outside the hospital…
Flanoir's famous healer…
I wish he could heal the lies in my heart…

Across from where I stand,
I see a young girl by a small kiosk…
She is the one that peddles foodstuffs…
She looks so lonely, all by herself…

I walk over to her, to see what she has.
She proudly displays packets of seasonings,
As well as a few fresh fruits and vegetables…
I buy a small, ripe apple from her, and bite in…

One day we will be free,
Under the summer sun;
And you will see…

It is just delicious…and I smile.
As I continue to look at the various things she has,
She sits back on her stool, looking about…
Something about those eyes…

For a moment, my gaze drifts from her stand to her,
Taking in her face, and her expression…
The wistful look in her eyes…speaks volumes…
Adding an aged wisdom to her otherwise youthful face…

It must be hard to sell fresh food in a frozen place…
Most people would rather shop for preserved foods,
In warm, toasty stores…and yet, she tries, so hard…
It makes me feel almost sorry for her…

I know it sounds so male-chauvinistic…
But seeing a girl, or lady, unhappy,
Weighs upon my heart like a guilty conscience…
Especially when there is something I can do…

One day we will be free,
Under the summer sun;
And you will see…

After all, she's worked harder on a daily basis,
Than I ever have in my entire life…
I've always taken the easy way out,
Looking for the painless alternative…

And as I look at her other items, on the side,
I see a lone pair of hand-woven mittens…
A cute lavender pair…just Sheena's size, too…
And since she doesn't have a pair herself…

I ask the girl if the mittens are for sale.
"Yes…they're a thousand Gald…"
A fair price…and I reach for my pouch.
I begin to count the coins…

And to my dismay, I am short…almost five hundred…
I knew I shouldn't have left so much in my backpack…
Unable to afford it, I apologize, and turn towards the inn,
When, suddenly, she taps me on the shoulder…

Some say the road is clear…
Some say confront your fear…
Some say, well, can you feel the love that I do?

I turn to her, and to my surprise,
She takes the mittens down, and places them in my hands…
I begin to protest…after all, she probably made them herself…
But I can only watch as she shakes her head, and smiles…

"You wanted these for someone else, right…?" she asks shyly.
"I've had these for so long…and no one buys mittens here…"
"So please, give them a home…and hands to warm…"
Graciously, I can but accept her gift, and offer my thanks…

Heading back to the inn, I cannot help but feel warm myself.
Such overt generosity is rare…and precious indeed…
Someone so kind deserves only the best…
And deep within, I pray, wishing her the best…

Upon reaching my destination, I see Sheena,
Standing outside, in the bitter cold…
She looks about, as if searching for someone…
I see her shiver in the evening breeze…

Can you feel the love…?

"Where…were…you…?" she manages to say,
Between chilly shudders and chattering teeth…
I can but help her inside, to the warmth of the inn…
And we sit, at a small table…

Can you feel the love…?

"Why were you outside, in this weather?" I ask.
"I was…looking for you…" she replies, looking downward.
"I didn't…want you to freeze…out there…"
Grinning, I have to retort to that one…

Can you feel the love…?

"So you threw me out to the bitter cold…?"
Sheena just stomps her foot, and glares at me.
"I wouldn't have done it to begin with, stupid,
If you could have just kept your mouth shut…"

Can you feel the love that I do?

"Relax, Sheena…it's all right."
"Besides, I met a wonderful snow angel…"
Her icy glare returns, ready to kill…
I can almost feel the icicles poking me…

Can you feel the love…?

Reaching into my pocket, I decide it is time.
I pull the mittens out, and place them on the table.
"She gave me these mittens, made with her love…
And told me to use them to warm someone special…"

Can you feel the love…?

I see her eyes soften, and I return a warm smile.
"Oh, Zelos…you idiot…" she murmurs…
But the glow reflecting in her eyes says it all…
Her seething anger replaced with subtle delight…

Can you feel the love…?

As we head up to our rooms,
I offer her a hug…and for once, she accepts…
Words cannot express my elation now…
As I lie upon my bed, ready to rest…

Can you feel the love that I do?

Perhaps, when the time is right,
I will be able to do this, in the right context…
So that it might just be forgivable…
So that they might still be my friends…

Trust is such a fragile thing…
And I am treading on a line thin as ice…
But I continue to hope, and wait, and pray…
That when the moment comes, I can do the right thing…

Can you feel the love that I do…?

And then they'll be able to see the "real me…"
And then I'll know…if they still believe in me…

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owari.

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