Chapter 2: Old Wounds

"You're late Commander Leonhart." Commented Cid as Squall strolled into his office, hands in pockets, expression indifferent. "Not that I expected any less." He was smiling slightly as he said this. Squall frowned a little but remained silent, preferring instead to glance around Cid's new domain. After the mishap with the control centre bursting through his old office, he'd had to relocate. It seemed he'd found a rather cosy, disused classroom on the second floor.

With mild interest, he noted the other occupants of Cid's office-Irvine and Quistis…the last of the six heroes that had faced Ultimecia. Squall found himself reflecting on the departures of the others…


"Squall…you've changed." Frowned Rhinoa, her eyes shining with intense pain.

"I don't know what you mean." He muttered, addressing his reply to the wall. He couldn't see her soft mouth twist as her heart broke.

"That's exactly what I mean…we don't understand each other any more. Squall…do you even love me?"

"…" He was unable to answer the question, his hesitation causing the burning pain in her chest to intensify. She passed a hand across her eyes, controlling the tremble in her voice before speaking.

"Did you ever love me?" Her voice was a shaking whisper, tears flowing slowly down her cheeks, wetting her lips and chilling her tongue. Squall remained absolutely still, neither speaking nor indicating he'd even heard her. "…I see. Well…I'll…I'm leaving you now Squall. I thought we had something, but obviously I was being my usual stupid self. I…hope you find what you're searching for…" She bent to retrieve the bag at her feet and walked from his room, glancing back only once to his curled form, his pale face hidden behind a curtain of silken hair.


"I'm going away in search of adventure!" Announced Zell, his eyes bright with an enthusiasm none of them had seen since their travels together. He grinned expectantly, waiting for some reply.

"…Going where?" Asked Quistis, a frown creasing her brow.

"Anywhere…I don't care where. I need to leave, I need the excitement of the old days…it's too dead here now." He shrugged helplessly. "Obviously you don't understand, otherwise you'd want to go with me…I can't handle the peace and safety of Garden. It's way too boring. I mean…after all we've gone through? How can you expect me to settle down again? I need to feel the thrill of danger, the wildness of freedom…" He shook his head. "I'm sorry guys, I guess I was never cut out to be an instructor, or a leader, or a librarian…" His eyes begged with them to understand, their sapphire depths welling with hope and anticipation, more alive than they'd seen them in months. Eventually, Squall nodded and rose from his seat, extending his gloved hand to his old comrade.

"Good luck Zell, you have our blessing." He gave a rare, beautiful smile. "Have fun chicken wuss."

Zell grinned, then laughed and grabbed the leader's hand, pulling him into a bear hug.

"I will Commander, don't you worry!"


"She always said she loved nothing more than the feel of the air on her skin and a breeze through her hair…this seems right somehow."

"Irvine…"

"I want to do this for her, she deserves this much."

"You loved her?"

"We all did Squall. There wasn't a mean bone in her body; you couldn't hate such a beautiful person." Irvine looked down at the small porcelain vessel in his hands, studying the flowing, twining designs trailing across its polished surface.

"You've got to let her go." Murmured Squall as Quistis put her arm round Irvine's back. "You can't keep her forever. She was a free spirit; she shouldn't be confined for eternity."

"I know," conceded the sharpshooter, "but it's so hard letting go…"

They stood in silence for a few moments, listening to the gentle rumble of Garden beneath them, watching the sun drift closer to the sea. Eventually Irvine sighed and shifted, surfacing from his reverie. Slowly he took the lid from the vessel and tipped it into the wind, watching as an ethereal cloud drifted from its interior.

"Goodbye Sefie." He whispered.


With a sigh and a slight sense of disorientation, Squall returned to the present. It had been a while since Selphie's death…almost seven years. In all that time Irvine had never once mentioned her name. He seemed to be back to his old self, but there were moments when Squall could look into his eyes and see the pain still bruising them, and could feel a change in his mood. Irvine had altered dramatically after Selphie, but he covered it up with his old, jovial exterior, hiding his true self even from his closest friends. Selphie had been the first to go…the first one to break the bond of fellowship between the six of them. It was as though she had been the anchor of their friendship, the rope that bound them all together, and after her death the rope had snapped and left them all drifting aimlessly on a tide of edgy helplessness. It had taken only months for Zell and Rhinoa to leave too, and in all that time they had never returned or contacted Garden. It was as though they had never even existed.

"…so it's very likely you'll face a great deal of the old political issues you did during your first SeeD mission," Cid's voice droned, "but I trust you know how to deal with that by now. There's still a lot of mistrust linked with Garden forces after what happened before the second Sorceress war, and people aren't very inclined to welcome SeeDs, so I must stress again be careful." Cid glanced round at them all, his glasses winking in the morning light giving him the look of an indulgent uncle. He smiled warmly, apparently the briefing was over. Squall hadn't taken in a word of it.

"How soon do we leave sir?" asked Quistis.

"Whenever the Commander feels ready." He looked over at Squall, winking slightly. He knew he hadn't been listening, the sly old coot.

"…As soon as we possibly can I suppose." Shrugged their leader, a little flustered. Where were they going? What were they even doing?

"In case you need reminding of your duties" continued Cid, "I've had a mission brief typed up for you." He handed them out, flashing a grin at Squall. The Commander smiled back swiftly, shaking his head a little. "For those of you who find me too unbearable to listen to for long periods of time." He added, smirking. Squall felt himself blush, and gave a sheepish grin, taking his brief in silence. "If there are no further questions?" He prompted. They all shook their heads and he dismissed them so that they could prepare for departure the next day.


As they made for their dorm, Squall scanned the brief.

Balamb Garden Elite Forces

Mission Statement

A request for help was issued by the General of Deling city 12 hours ago. The nature of the request was not fully specified, other than a warning that it is a situation that requires the expertise of SeeD forces.

Mission: Travel to Deling for a conference with General Caraway; give further help if it is requested.

Destination: Deling city

Members requested: Squall Leonhart, Irvine Kinneas, Quistis Trepe.

REQUEST AFFIRMED. PLEASE LEAVE ASAP, DO NOT RETURN UNTIL MISSION IS COMPLETE.

Remember, discretion is mandatory. DO NOT reveal the nature of your mission. DO NOT reveal yourselves to anyone. Retain as low a profile as you can.

END OF MESSAGE

"Well, that certainly seems…"

"Secretive." Nodded Irvine.

"…yes."

"General Caraway though…" Mused Quistis. "I wonder what he wants?"

"Probably to beat the crap out of me." Moaned Squall, pocketing the brief.

"Would you blame him?"

"What's that supposed to mean Irvine?" The sharpshooter shrugged.

"You didn't exactly part on friendly terms, you and Rhinoa, did you?" Squall scowled.

"It was a mutual decision. Things had been falling apart long before she left." Irvine glanced over his shoulder.

"You two seemed so well matched."

"Yeah, well, so did you and Selphie before she tried to leave…"

"Squall!" Admonished Quistis. Irvine said nothing, just stared straight ahead and continued his even pace. His shoulders seemed to tense at the untterance of Selphie's name though. Squall was in no mood to apologise however. The mention of his failed relationship had touched a nerve and awoken memories he had long since thought dead. Silently he cursed the cowboy and kicked himself for being so over-sensitive. The fact that he was in the wrong did nothing to alleviate his foul mood.

Quistis' voice broke through his gloomy introspection. "If we're laving tomorrow morning we'd better pack and make sure everything's taken care of." She veered off as she reached the door to her rooms. Turning, she gave them the familiar 'instructor' glare from the old days. "Despite Cid's warnings, I have the feeling we should reacquaint ourselves with our weapons…just in case." Giving them a final glance and a curt nod, she slipped through her door, leaving them alone in the corridor. Squall heard Irvine sigh slightly.

"She's right. We've got a lot of preparation ahead of us." He took the hat from his head and ran a hand through his long auburn hair. Squall watched it catch the light and flare to a copper blaze. There had always been something about Irvine's hair that had fascinated him. "I'll see you in the morning at the entrance." He walked off, his shoulders seeming to bend beneath an unbearable weight. Squall felt slightly uncomfortable, it was his fault that Irvine was uncharacteristically quiet. His expression of guilt snapped to one of anger, not at his friend but at himself.

"I couldn't just keep my big mouth shut, could I?" He grumbled, ramming his hands into his pockets. As he strode down the corridor to his room, he frowned and pulled at something that was jabbing into his hand. Crumpled in his palm was the brief. He paused outside his door as he stared at it, still folded. Would Rhinoa still be at her father's mansion? Would Caraway be fuming at him and the way he treated her? What was the reason for calling them to Deling? And why had he specifically asked for Irvine, Quistis and himself?