It was the sound of a car horn echoing throughout the room pulled Bosco from the deep, peaceful sleep he had been wrapped in. Startled, his eyes opened wide before quickly shutting again in the brightness of the afternoon sun that flowed in the windows. After a few moments of complete disorientation, Bosco's mind cleared of the groggy, sleep induced state and the memories of the morning came rushing back.
Rolling over he was met by empty cold sheets, causing an annoyed groan to come from his mouth. Lifting his head, he looked around the room, his eyes squinting against the brightness. His head fell back into the soft pillow while he inhaled deeply, breathing in the scents of Faith's bedroom. Smiling, he swung his legs over the side of the bed, reached down to grab his jeans that were in a pile on the floor and pulled them up over his hips.
He hadn't had the time to take in Faith's apartment when he arrived earlier, but as he walked out through the hall to the living room he looked around bright, homey rooms loving the feeling of familiarity that accompanied them. Even before he left New York, he hadn't really spent all that much time in her apartment, but he had always felt comfortable within its walls. Everything inside screamed Faith, making him trust the place completely which had led to him opening up to her on more than one occasion inside the confines of the apartment.
Stopping in the doorway to the living room, he saw Faith sitting at the table with her back to him, her work spread out in front of her. Sitting with her hand resting under her chin, supporting her head, she stared down at the papers, struggling to keep on task. He quietly walked up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders he kissed the side of her head. She relaxed completely under him, dropping the pen that she held in her right hand.
"Mmm, it's about time you got up," Faith laughed. She tilted her head upwards, meeting his lips with hers. "I just made some coffee. I figured you would want some when you woke up," she added when he pulled away and took the seat next to her.
"I know. I smelled it," Bosco answered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Faith smiled when he yawned and rested his head on his fist.
"What are you working on?" He asked looking at the piles of paper sitting on the table. Faith sighed heavily and picked up her pen and tapped the end against the pad of paper she was jotting notes on.
"That case that wouldn't end."
Letting out a brief chuckle he reached over and pushed the hair back from her neck and let his fingers brush against the skin there. The sun beaming in through the window lit up her features as it reflected off the white sheets of paper. Faith looked back at him and watched his eyes follow his fingers as they trailed over her skin.
"Did you sleep okay?" She asked quietly after a few moments. A light smile touched his lips as he nodded and pulled his hand away before meeting her eyes.
"It was nice. I was exhausted. The drive felt like it took forever." His eyes never left hers as they sat staring at each other listening to his soft words. He watched her grow thoughtful and questioning, her eyes searching his for an answer to some unspoken question.
Before Bosco could question her pensive turn, suddenly Faith grinned and pushed herself away from the table. Standing, she kissed the top of Bosco's head.
"I'm gonna get you some coffee," she said, heading toward the kitchen, never pausing to wait for a response from him. Following her with his eyes, he scrunched his forehead not liking the feeling that he was getting from her. She seemed to be withdrawn and sullen. They hadn't really talked since he had knocked on her door that morning.
Exhaling heavily he got up and followed her into the kitchen. He stood behind her, watching while she took a mug out of the cupboard over the sink and set it on the counter before filling it with steaming coffee. Reaching her just as she set the pot back in the coffee maker, Bosco traced his fingers down her upper arms.
"Faith," he started, getting her to turn to face him. Faith leaned herself against the counter only inches from Bosco. "What's up? You were happy when I got here this morning." His voice trailed off while he moved his hands along her arms.
"Nothing's wrong, Bos," she started with a chuckle that Bosco could tell was forced. "I was happy this morning and I'm happy now." Her words came out biting and defensive. She held out the mug for him to take from her. Doing so, he absentmindedly put it right back on the counter.
"You and I both know that I can tell when you're lying," his voice was quiet, and he was trying to keep things light despite the ominous feeling that had settled in his stomach. "Now, tell me. What's wrong?"
Faith just shook her head as she leaned forward and rested her head on Bosco's shoulder, snaking her arms around his waist.
"I don't want you to be here if it's not where you want to be." Her words came in a whisper after a few moments of stretching silence. She immediately felt him tense under her and she wished that she could take it back. The last thing she wanted was to fight with him but lying to him was pretty much out of the question.
Instead of pushing her away, Bosco moved his hands from her arms to her back. She could still feel the frustration radiating from him as he hugged her to him.
"What makes you think I don't want to be here?" sharp and fast, he spoke. He was trying to hold in the urge to shake her and scream that if he didn't want to be here that he wouldn't be. She could be so damn stubborn.
She had always been too concerned with making sure that everyone else was in a cloud of ignorant bliss while she let herself take any and all bad that would come along and be the one to suffer as a result. It was becoming blatantly obvious that this is what she was doing now.
"You have a new home, Bosco. You can't pretend that you're happy to be here when I know you're not," speaking quietly, she pushed away from him folding her arms over her chest. "Do you remember what you said to me earlier?"
Searching his mind, he remembered saying nothing that would piss her off, or even lead her to think that he didn't want to be here. He vaguely remembered her voice breaking softly into the quiet room as he drifted off to sleep but he wouldn't have even been able to guess what she had said. The soothing drawl of her voice and the calming affect of her arms across his chest had eased him into the sleep that he had struggled for over a week to find, causing her words to get lost in a sea of relaxation.
Seeing his eyebrow raised and his eyes stare into her with a look of complete loss and confusion she rolled her eyes and picked up the mug that sat on the counter beside her and took a drink before thrusting it at Bosco. Taking it gratefully this time, he took a sip before putting it back down.
"I asked you how long you were staying. And do you remember what your answer was?" Seeing that he wasn't going to answer from the look that graced his features at her question the sighed with frustration and continued. "You told me forever. Forever, Bos. Why would you do that?"
Why the hell was she mad? God, this woman drove him nuts.
"Am I hearing you right? You are freaking out because I said that I was gonna stay? You're crazy, you know that?"
"Real mature, Bosco," Faith threw back at him with her hands on her hips. "How can I not be angry?"
This was unreal. Bosco was standing in front of her, watching her mouth move, hearing the words come out of her but he was lost. Completely and totally lost.
"I don't even know what I meant, Faith. I was half asleep!" He couldn't help the new level of loudness his voice had taken as he threw his hands in the air to emphasize his point.
"And what the hell does it matter if I wanted to stay? It's my decision to make," he didn't want to yell at her, but damn it if she still couldn't push his buttons with nothing more than a simple look, or in this case an over-reaction to a simple statement.
"Well what if I don't want you here?" she hollered back clearly annoyed at the strength in his voice. Faith let her hands fall from her hips at the defeated and lost look that washed over Bosco and immediately she regretted the words that had just come flying from her mouth.
"Bos, no…that's not what I meant," she said taking a step towards him only for him to step back. He looked at her only briefly before moving his eyes away again, nodding sadly.
"Forget it," he said simply, turning around and walking out of the kitchen. Rubbing her forehead, Faith groaned at herself before following after him. No matter how hard she tried she could never manage to say the right words the first time; to get him to understand what she meant the first time she spoke. Her words always seemed to lead them into a fight. And Bosco was always so quick to believe that everyone in his life thought the worst of him, that he would take the most horrible meaning possible from any statement, not wanting or feeling the need to search for a deeper meaning.
Practically jogging into the living room behind him Faith called to him once more, this time getting him to stop in his tracks. His back still to her, she took a deep breath while she searched for the right way to put her thoughts into words so he understood fully what she meant.
"You weren't happy here," Faith said finally, her voice extremely quiet. As she spoke the words, Faith felt her chest tighten. It was a simple sentence but she could physically feel the weight of its implication. Her eyes were focused squarely on the rug underneath her feet as she heard him shuffle around to face her from across the room.
She looked up just has he opened him mouth to respond but she raised her hand to quiet him.
"A big part of you died that day in the hospital."
Bosco scoffed at her words. That was the understatement of the century. He had woken up as someone completely different and since then had faced the eternal struggle to find some resemblance of his old self whenever he looked in the mirror or was alone with his thoughts and forced to sort through his mind.
Faith's head shot up, her eyes meeting his in a glare that shut him up before she continued.
"Before you left, I would look at you and see a horrible sadness in your eyes that just wouldn't go away. I could see every fleck of pain that turned your eyes a dull, tainted grey." Faith stopped, letting the silence wrap around them. The only sound was that of the passing traffic three levels below and constant ticking of the clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen.
"My heart broke a little more every time I looked at you, knowing that I couldn't help you, that I couldn't say anything to make you realize that you were loved, that you are loved."
"Faith," Bosco interrupted. "You didn't need to say anything."
"I know. I know. But me and helplessness never really went well together," she said with a light laugh. "But Bos, when I saw you sitting in that café, all of the bad and sadness and pain that had settled all around you was gone. All I saw was you." She stopped, feeling her eyes water, feeling the breaking of her heart she had only a year earlier been so accustomed to.
"If you stay, I'm afraid that the grey will come back. I don't want to see that again. Bosco, I can't see that again, I just can't."
Tentatively walking towards her, Bosco exhaled slowly, letting the anger he was feeling towards her float away on his breath. When he reached her he took her chin lightly in his fingers and tilted her face forcing their eyes to meet.
"Faith, I'm still me here. Things are different now. We're different now. That won't change. I can be happy here too. I just needed time. And hey, if I do turn into that guy that we both had enough of, I give you permission to kick my ass."
Faith rolled her eyes and leaned into him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck.
"I mean it, Bosco. If you're not happy, you're not staying. I'm not going to put up with you being unhappy." Faith turned her face towards him placing a single kiss right under his jaw line before leaning back so he could see her eyes and be able to read the seriousness that had taken residence in her light greens.
"I will go back with you. I mean, if you can't stay here, we can go back together." His face softened as she spoke and his lips curled in a soft, appreciative smile. Faith kissed his lips briefly and leaned her head against the side of his.
The fresh scent of her shampoo invaded his nostrils with each one of his heavy breaths as he tried to keep his emotions at bay. She was willing to do anything to make him happy, even if it meant that she had to give up everything she knew, everything she loved. He had never had anyone in his life like that before. Not even his mother was that selfless when it came to her only living son. She had the sense to know that sometimes she had to do what was best for herself in order to thrive.
Faith though, Faith was a different story. She had never once put herself before anyone. For as long as Bosco knew her, she had always been willing to make sure that everyone else was happy and taken care of. He remembered sitting in the RMP with her one incredibly slow night and listening to her talk about herself. Her voice had been quiet and soothing and he remembered her saying that it was like she fed off of other people's happiness, but that was okay because it was all she knew.
Holding her against him, hearing her tell him that she would do whatever it took for him to be happy he came to a realization that this time was going to be different. For the first time in her life, he would make sure that Faith's happiness came first. He would make sure that ihe/i would be the one to feed off her joy.
Bosco squeezed her harder before reluctantly letting his arms loosen and stepping back, keeping his hands on her waist. Her eyes were flooded with worry but they softened and sparkled when he smiled at her.
"All you have to do to make me happy is be happy yourself. Don't think about me; think about yourself. That will make me happy."
Faith blushed slightly at his words, but didn't really understand why. Maybe it was because he spoke them with such intimacy and understanding of her soul that she felt the heat rise to her cheeks. She looked away, a self conscious smile gracing her features.
"Bosco," she started quietly, meeting his eyes once more. "Honestly? You're here, in New York. That makes me happy. It feels right." She spoke softly, almost as if she was afraid of what his response to her would be. She knew better than to be fearful of him, but she didn't want to upset him. He had far too much in his life do just that over the years that she wanted to be the only one in his life that never upset or hurt him or made him feel worthless. She wanted to be the one that made him realize the kind of person that he was; kind, caring, warm, passionate…Four words that were rarely associated with Bosco by anyone who didn't know the real him.
"But, if you -- " Faith continued, but Bosco raised his fingers to her lips, silencing her.
"Faith…Don't try to say what you think I want to hear. Tell me what you want." Bosco's voice held that annoyed tone that he took with her whenever she was on his last nerve. It was a tone that was always serious but mildly playful, urging her on, daring her to go against what he wanted.
But she would listen to him this time.
"I love you and I want you to stay." Her sentence was frank and to the point. It wasn't sugar coated and she didn't add a 'but'. It was what she wanted and she was determined to do what he asked.
"So I guess I'm staying then," he said with a smile. She smiled broadly with excitement and threw her arms around him. Grinning into her neck, he planted a tiny kiss on her skin.
After a few blissful moments she pulled away and smiled at him widely.
"You must be starving," her voice was soft and caring and motherly. He nodded, letting the chuckle rise in his throat.
"I'll make you something to eat," Faith said turning and walking to the kitchen. As she started rhyming off items that she could make for him, Bosco looked around the rooms surrounding him. He felt a rush of excitement he wasn't sure he would ever be able to associate with the city again and then he knew. He knew that he would have to call him mother and tell her about his plan to move back to the city; he knew that he would have to pack up and sell his house; he knew that he had time to think about that later. He knew that he was home.
Nodding, he breathed deeply and smiled before walking into the kitchen.
