Title: Not Forgotten

Rating: Pg-13

Summary: Innocence is overrated. You are about to see the real Yukina, after she married. Warnings: cutting, suicide. One-sided Yukina?

Okay, everyone. Please, PLEASE no flames, though it sucks. Those are used to light my used matches, okay?

Disclaimer: You know what I'm going to say, so I just won't bother.

ONWITHTHEONESHOT

"Yukina-chan...doshita?" Kuwabara was the first to ask, Yukina remembered.

"Anou...Nothing," she had replied, smiling at her husband in that oh-so-innocent way she was known for. But when he turned away, she lost that smile and looked into the distance.

She wipes the tear from her brow
She's been cryin again
She's been walking into walls again
Behind her quivering smile, there's a secret
That goes deeper than the cuts she hides

Every night, the memories returned. They haunted her, forever mocking her. They twisted around her, closing in upon her like a demon's prey. Memories of her past, of her not-so-forgotten life.

And every night, she would bring out her razor and cut. She would remember his face. Cut. She would remember the way he looked at her. Cut. She would remember the way he smiled for her, and only her. Cut. She remembered how she fell in love with him... Cut. She remembered how he died. Cut.

Her head's spinning around
He bet her soul to the ground
A grown woman in pain
And all she longs to be, is that little girl, again

She screams inside, and all she wants to be
All she wants to be, is yesterdays child
She wants to hide, and all she wants to be
All she wants to be, is yesterdays child

She now had a fascination with blood. Every wound inflicted upon her, she gazed at it until the blood clotted. She even licked the wound just to feel that cold, metallic taste that left her craving more. As a grown woman, she knew she should know better than to do this. To hide. Just thinking about that made her cut deeper.

Curled up shivering alone, she's been hurt again
She's been walking into walls again
Her children keep her alive
They're her sanity, but they're the reason why she has to stay
A grown woman in pain and all she longs to be is that little girl, again

One day, she got an idea. She would leave this world, let her beautiful ruby red blood free. Kuwabara and the children could get over her, even have a new mother. And Genkai could heal the broken Tentei, if ever need be. She started to write a poem...and a letter that she would burn. So he could get it, lest she not go to Heaven.

So she took a knife this time, and, with a shaky breath, swept it across her vein.

The poem and letter lay on the floor:

Guess who's back again?

This little girl you thought forgot

Her voice cries louder, not as soft

She's back, and she's crying, leave her to rot

She has this razor, all bundled up in cloth

Hides it 'till she needs it

When she does, she drags out that old razor

And brings the razor close to the skin

Her steady hand is a learned skill

And she drags the blade across her hip

She scars the already marred flesh

Again and again and again

Red beads of blood drip down to the Earth

She can't just stop at one

She's become too addicted

Every once in a while

She finds one more reason to inflict

These wounds upon her stained skin

She likes the pain, her teeth are grit

This time, she won't scream

No, this time she won't tell

So, guess who's back?

The girl that you left standing

Thought she forgot

But she didn't.

The letter:

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so weak...but...I seem to have fallen in love with you. Oh, hell, I've always loved you. Took me this long to realize it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before you died...not that it would've mattered anyway. It would sicken you.

I started falling even before I knew...Yes, I knew. You tried so hard to keep it from me, I respected that and fell silent. Guess now you know, ne? ...Have fun in heaven if I'm not there.

Aishiteru... aniki.

THEEND

Okay...I know that sucked. Don't remind me. Just bored is all...