Chapter 6
A Beetle's Demise
Harry walked into DADA he was almost a half an hour late. Everyone turned to look at him.
"Who the hell are you?" barked Percy.
"Who the hell do I look like!?" snapped Harry back. "I'm Harry you blind dolt!" Everyone's jaw dropped.
"What in the name of Sir Cadogan happened to you?" Percy looked at Harry disgustedly, "You look like you just crawled out of a barrel of cursed polycrackers."
"That bitch Pomfry cursed me with her vial antidotes." Harry hissed.
"Oh…" Percy glared at him, "Well, go put some clothes on. You're disturbing my class, not to mention myself." Harry gave Percy one last glare of poison before storming out of the classroom.
Harry caught a glimpse of Ginny as she turned a corner, "Ginny! Wait!" Ginny poked her head around the corner to see who had called her name.
"Get away from me you creep!" Screeched Ginny as Harry ran to catch up with her.
"You idiot!" Yelled Harry, "It's me, Harry!" Ginny looked a little closer at him.
"What the hell happened to you?" Said Ginny disgustedly. "And why don't you have any clothes on?
"I'll tell you later. Where's Ron?" Replied Harry hurriedly.
"Well if you must know." Said Ginny taking her precious time, "I jabbed him in the eye and he ran off to see Madam Pomfry."
"Shit!" Harry said as he turned and ran towards the hospital wing.
Ginny continued on her marry way. She was to meet Hermoine in the Library where they were supposed to study. It was one of the many efforts they were making in order to return to their old straight and narrow ways.
"Ginny!" Ginny turned to see who was shouting at her this time.
"Oh, Penelope. What are you doing here?"
"Just visiting my horny-cakes Percy." Chortled Penelope happily, "But I've forgotten which room is his. Can you help me?" Ginny gave her a strange look.
"Of course! His quarter is number 382 in the East wing."
Ginny finally made it to the library. "Hermoine, guess what." She said as she made her way over to the table Hermoine was seated at.
"What?" Replied Hermoine not looking up from her book.
"Harry is a mutant and Penelope is visiting."
"That's fantastic, but you won't believe what I've found." Hermoine was still gazing down at her book.
Harry slammed open the clinic door, "Pomfry!" He screeched in anger.
"Oh, Harry, dear your back." Said Madam Pomfry cheerfully as she carefully dripped fizzy purple eye drops in Ron's swollen eye.
AAUUUURRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron crumbled in pain while groping at his eye once more. "MY EYE!!!!!!" He keeled over unconscious. Both Madam Pomfry and Harry stared at him in astonishment.
"What the bloody hell did you do to him!?" Screeched Harry at her viciously.
"I just put a little Hexeropuff in his eye." Said Madam Pomfry innocently.
"What the hell is that?" squealed Harry in anger.
"Well, you know…" Madam Pomfry stared down at Ron scratching her scalp, "Just a little something I had Snape whip up for me."
"Bitch! You ain't fooling nobody!"
"Fine so it's a poison! But who really cared about that brat anyway!" Madam Pomfry screamed in anger, "It's not like his mom will miss him! They have so many damned kids I bet they won't even notice he's gone!"
Ron suddenly started fidgeting. Harry and Madam Pomfry looked down at his sprawled body.
"Ron?" Said Harry quietly, "Are you alive?" Ron slowly lifted himself from the ground.
"What the hell kinda question is that?" Replied Ron.
"Well you're supposed to be dead." Pomfry said simply.
"Shut up bitch!" Hollered Harry.
"Um… Sorry for being nosey, but why aren't you guys wearing any clothes?" Said Ron Shyly.
"What do you mean?" Said Pomfry with curiosity, "I'm definitely wearing clothes."
"Well, I've been walking around nude all day." Answered Harry.
"You both look quite naked to me." Said Ron matter-a-factly.
"Oh shoot, the poison must have had a reverse affect on you." Madam Pomfry looked worried, "Instead of killing you like I hoped, it made it so you had x-ray vision."
"Awesome!" Squealed Ron in delight.
"Damn it! Why couldn't you have poisoned me like that!?" Screamed Harry angrily at Madam Pomfry.
"Yeah!" yelled Ron in agreement, "Wait… what did you poison him with anyway?"
"I just injected his annular area with a little Mermacrostix and replaced part of his tailbone with a vampire fang. Simple as that." Replied Madam Pomfry like she was answering a question given by one of her medical professors.
"What the hell is Mermacrostix?" Asked Harry inquisitively.
"Merman cum."
"That's sick!" Screeched Ron in horror.
"Well off to class you two." Said Madam Pomfry all too cheerfully, "Oh and Harry please put on some clothes."
Harry and Ron hurried out the door and towards Griffindor Tower.
"Hey Harry I just learned something new!" Said Ron excitedly.
"What?" Replied Harry Rolling his eyes.
"If I close my poison eye I can't see x-ray."
"Stop gloating you bastard." Harry was pissed.
"What is this I hear about x-ray vision?"
Harry and Ron whipped around to see who was talking. Ron closed his x-ray eye abruptly in disgust.
"What do you want Malfoy?" They said in sarcastic unison.
Draco took a step forward, as to say he was there for business. As he placed his foot he stepped on a large beetle. It made a disgusting squishy crunching sound. Draco looked at the bottom of his shoe, "Ewwww!" He gasped in revulsion. Little did he know that he beetle he had stepped on was none other than Rita Skeeter.
A Beetle's Demise
Harry walked into DADA he was almost a half an hour late. Everyone turned to look at him.
"Who the hell are you?" barked Percy.
"Who the hell do I look like!?" snapped Harry back. "I'm Harry you blind dolt!" Everyone's jaw dropped.
"What in the name of Sir Cadogan happened to you?" Percy looked at Harry disgustedly, "You look like you just crawled out of a barrel of cursed polycrackers."
"That bitch Pomfry cursed me with her vial antidotes." Harry hissed.
"Oh…" Percy glared at him, "Well, go put some clothes on. You're disturbing my class, not to mention myself." Harry gave Percy one last glare of poison before storming out of the classroom.
Harry caught a glimpse of Ginny as she turned a corner, "Ginny! Wait!" Ginny poked her head around the corner to see who had called her name.
"Get away from me you creep!" Screeched Ginny as Harry ran to catch up with her.
"You idiot!" Yelled Harry, "It's me, Harry!" Ginny looked a little closer at him.
"What the hell happened to you?" Said Ginny disgustedly. "And why don't you have any clothes on?
"I'll tell you later. Where's Ron?" Replied Harry hurriedly.
"Well if you must know." Said Ginny taking her precious time, "I jabbed him in the eye and he ran off to see Madam Pomfry."
"Shit!" Harry said as he turned and ran towards the hospital wing.
Ginny continued on her marry way. She was to meet Hermoine in the Library where they were supposed to study. It was one of the many efforts they were making in order to return to their old straight and narrow ways.
"Ginny!" Ginny turned to see who was shouting at her this time.
"Oh, Penelope. What are you doing here?"
"Just visiting my horny-cakes Percy." Chortled Penelope happily, "But I've forgotten which room is his. Can you help me?" Ginny gave her a strange look.
"Of course! His quarter is number 382 in the East wing."
Ginny finally made it to the library. "Hermoine, guess what." She said as she made her way over to the table Hermoine was seated at.
"What?" Replied Hermoine not looking up from her book.
"Harry is a mutant and Penelope is visiting."
"That's fantastic, but you won't believe what I've found." Hermoine was still gazing down at her book.
Harry slammed open the clinic door, "Pomfry!" He screeched in anger.
"Oh, Harry, dear your back." Said Madam Pomfry cheerfully as she carefully dripped fizzy purple eye drops in Ron's swollen eye.
AAUUUURRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron crumbled in pain while groping at his eye once more. "MY EYE!!!!!!" He keeled over unconscious. Both Madam Pomfry and Harry stared at him in astonishment.
"What the bloody hell did you do to him!?" Screeched Harry at her viciously.
"I just put a little Hexeropuff in his eye." Said Madam Pomfry innocently.
"What the hell is that?" squealed Harry in anger.
"Well, you know…" Madam Pomfry stared down at Ron scratching her scalp, "Just a little something I had Snape whip up for me."
"Bitch! You ain't fooling nobody!"
"Fine so it's a poison! But who really cared about that brat anyway!" Madam Pomfry screamed in anger, "It's not like his mom will miss him! They have so many damned kids I bet they won't even notice he's gone!"
Ron suddenly started fidgeting. Harry and Madam Pomfry looked down at his sprawled body.
"Ron?" Said Harry quietly, "Are you alive?" Ron slowly lifted himself from the ground.
"What the hell kinda question is that?" Replied Ron.
"Well you're supposed to be dead." Pomfry said simply.
"Shut up bitch!" Hollered Harry.
"Um… Sorry for being nosey, but why aren't you guys wearing any clothes?" Said Ron Shyly.
"What do you mean?" Said Pomfry with curiosity, "I'm definitely wearing clothes."
"Well, I've been walking around nude all day." Answered Harry.
"You both look quite naked to me." Said Ron matter-a-factly.
"Oh shoot, the poison must have had a reverse affect on you." Madam Pomfry looked worried, "Instead of killing you like I hoped, it made it so you had x-ray vision."
"Awesome!" Squealed Ron in delight.
"Damn it! Why couldn't you have poisoned me like that!?" Screamed Harry angrily at Madam Pomfry.
"Yeah!" yelled Ron in agreement, "Wait… what did you poison him with anyway?"
"I just injected his annular area with a little Mermacrostix and replaced part of his tailbone with a vampire fang. Simple as that." Replied Madam Pomfry like she was answering a question given by one of her medical professors.
"What the hell is Mermacrostix?" Asked Harry inquisitively.
"Merman cum."
"That's sick!" Screeched Ron in horror.
"Well off to class you two." Said Madam Pomfry all too cheerfully, "Oh and Harry please put on some clothes."
Harry and Ron hurried out the door and towards Griffindor Tower.
"Hey Harry I just learned something new!" Said Ron excitedly.
"What?" Replied Harry Rolling his eyes.
"If I close my poison eye I can't see x-ray."
"Stop gloating you bastard." Harry was pissed.
"What is this I hear about x-ray vision?"
Harry and Ron whipped around to see who was talking. Ron closed his x-ray eye abruptly in disgust.
"What do you want Malfoy?" They said in sarcastic unison.
Draco took a step forward, as to say he was there for business. As he placed his foot he stepped on a large beetle. It made a disgusting squishy crunching sound. Draco looked at the bottom of his shoe, "Ewwww!" He gasped in revulsion. Little did he know that he beetle he had stepped on was none other than Rita Skeeter.
