Title: Theory of Randomosity
Author(s): Kurokawa (AKA Shinichiro or Billie) and TheShoelessOne
Summary: The random and crazy sidequests of the Xenosaga cast, as told by comedy artists Kurokawa and TheShoelessOne.
Warnings: Shion bashing and maybe shounen-ai suggestion o.O and lastly, spoliers. Up to the end of the 2nd game.
Disclaimer: Me or TheShoelessOne do not own Xenosaga...yet...
AN: (Billie) Hey fans, as you know script form is no longer allowed, so a lot of my stories are ka-dead. So I started a new one. We're trying a new way of writing fics...it's a joint thing, I write one chapter and TSO writes the next. We organized 6 storylines with different character. So get it: we're organized! MuahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (PS Albedo is mine)
AN: (TSO) Yeah... awkward abbreviation for my name... I think it means something vulgar OO;; Anyway, if any of my readers have happened upon this fic, you should be happy to know I'm helming all of the Ziggy parts. Everything else should remain a pleasant surprise. Like my sissy said, we'll be switching off chapters and storylines. This'll be too much fun, and I hope everyone'll like it as much as I am thinking it will be the shiz. -disappears in a puff of logic-
Chapter 1: Shion: Nobody Loves Me
Shion walked quietly down the halls of the Vector 2nd Division. She was concentrated on reading her e-mail, looking down at a little screen. Most of it was commands from above, talking about KOS-MOS and some from Allen talking about nothing. She stared into the screen obliviously as she collided with a fellow employee in a green outfit.
"Hey, watch where you're walking, slut!" The random employee yelled, obviously on the brink of destroying poor, small animals that are unable to protect themselves. Like puppies.
"Hey, that's no way to talk to a chief commander of Vector!" Shion said, pointing her finger at his husky face.
"Chief, huh? You're that Shion Uzuki everyone's been talking about. I heard you're a nurph." He said, seeming tohave calmed down as he crossed his arms. Shion scratched her head.
"A... a what?" Shion asked.
"You DON'T wanna know." He ended, "Let's just say, no one likes you."
"No...no one likes me? Whatever! I have a bunch of loyal friends everywhere!" Shion said, throwing her fists around in the air in fury.
"Oh please, I bet you couldn't get 7 people to say they liked you as a confession on tape." He said, smiling.
"Is that a challenge? I hope you know you're about to get rear-ended buddy, because I'm going to go to my friends and they'll jump at the opportunity to prove their friendship on record!" Shion said matter-of-factly.
"Riiiight." The dark man quacked, "Bring it in 3 days. I'll be in your office." And without another word, he dashed forward in his busy-body glory.
Infuriated that someone would say the things they did, and that such a rumour was floating around.(What's a nurph?) She marched into her office where Allen was waiting.
"Oh, uh, Chief!" Allen said, suddenly smiling and on his feet.
"No time, Allen! I have to get testemonia" Shion, her camera in hand, looked at the worried and confused Allen. She quickly turned the camera on Allen. He screamed in sudden horror.
"Chief? What are you doing?" Allen said.
"Allen! Do you like me?" Shion questioned immediately. Allen looked around worriedly, sweating profoundly.
"Who uh...who said I liked you?" Allen muttered.
"No one, but you have to say it on tape!" Shion said. There was a long pause as Allen's poor body shook timidly before he fell to the floor, fainted.
Shion turned off her camera with a sigh. She was sure Allen would have said yes right away. She knew she had many more friends, though. She ran to Miyuki's office.
As soon as Shion entered Miyuki's division, she turned her camera on Miyuki.
"Oh! Hi there, Shion. What's the occasion?" Miyuki said, trying to hide her embarrassed face.
"Miyuki, you like me as a friend, right?" Shion said. Miyuki giggled a bit, seemed to be overcome with some kind of unknown joy.
"Of course not, Shion!" Miyuki laughed, "You're my worst enemy!" Miyuki laughed as she walked off, gleeful in the fact that she had participated in Opposite Day.
Shion stopped the camera, traumatized.
"Surely... someone on the Elsa likes me!" Shion ran off towards the Elsa.
Post AN (Billie): I wrote this chappy. It's an introduction into the story, the plotlines start now and Shion parts will be scattered within. I hope you like that story that unfolds. (Nurph is a derogitory word owned by Kurokawa. No steal-y)
