Sorry it's taken me so long to post a new chapter. School is keeping me extremely busy. I hate my Bio teacher. She's crazy and scary. Read and review, pleaseeeee. This chapter will be mostly fluff with the newest problem. Bahaha! I apologize once again. It's been too long. I'll try to update sooner!
Soft Words
Kyle's POV
Stan and I lay together in the darkness, our hands entwined. My head was resting on his naked shoulder. With his free hand he was slowly trailing his fingers through my hair, breathing softly. I kept my eyes closed and sighed in content. I felt in complete bliss to feel the rise and fall of his chest.
"Stan?"
"Mmm?"
He was half asleep and it made me smile.
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. It was still dark outside and I wondered what time it was. I had to get home soon, but I didn't want to leave Stan's embrace. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. I want to tell him how special he was to me and how he made me feel. I wanted to share my butterflies with him.
"Uh, nothing. Never mind."
This was the time that people always ruined by saying something really gay. I wasn't going to do that. Not after I had the most amazing night.
I could feel him smile. He was awake again. He shifted slightly and I suddenly wondered if his parents had heard anything. We had tried being quiet, but it was so hard. I ended up stifling half of my moans in his pillow. I could still feel him, moving so gracefully, covering my perspired face in soft kisses. It was as if he had done it a million times, but I knew he was a virgin … like me. He was just so confident in everything he did. I didn't even think about his flu bug. I didn't care if I got it. I was so happy …
"Kyle, it's getting late … early … whatever you want to call it. You had better get back home so your Mom doesn't freak." He whispered, sliding a careful hand down the front of my boxers.
I moaned but nodded.
"Yeah. I suppose I should. God, Stan. Look what you're doing to me." I chuckled quietly.
He nuzzled my ear and I felt his hand slide down farther.
"I know. I'm in love with you."
My heart skipped and I couldn't help but smile.
"Stan …" I didn't know what to say. It seemed pointless to express my love for him again. I had moaned it to him enough during our love session.
He turned his head enough so he could kiss me, his hand pulling out of my underwear at the same time. I flipped over so I could meet him partway. His features were barely visible in dim light, but I could see him perfectly in my mind. His concerned blue eyes, black hair covering them partly.
He pulled away gently. His eyes searched my face. He reached a hand up a brushed my hair out of my eyes. I held him close, burying my face into his neck.
"Come on. I'll walk you home." I heard his voice vibrate from under my grasp.
He got up and stretched his arms tall above his head, yawning. I sat up, propping my head up on one hand.
"Nice ass."
Stan stopped mid-yawn and looked down. He broke into a grin and began to search for his boxers. I slowly slid out of the bed too and sat on the edge. I grabbed my pants and began pulling them on.
Stan was staring at me.
"What?" I asked, a little self-conscious.
He shook his head and smiled. He was in the midst of pulling on his pants that had been abandoned during our little rendezvous.
"You're really cute. Did you ever notice that you have dimples?"
I laughed, slightly flattered, and embarrassed that he noticed little things about me.
"I never really paid much attention to them …"
He slid his jacket on and ran a hand through his messy hair. I was still staring at him. I was so happy with him, but how could this ever work? What if people didn't accept us? It'd kill me. I needed to be with Stan. He understood me. Ever since we were children, we always understood each other. He was my best friend …
Stan handed me my jacket, startling me out of my thoughts. I looked a little surprised, but pulled it on and he stuck his hand out for me to take. Stan had beautiful hands. His fingers were long and dramatically structured. I breathed out and wrapped my hand around his. He hoisted me up and didn't let go. Together, we quietly left his room, hand in hand.
-
It was chillier than before and I shivered. Stan held me closer. The sun was rising and the red sky was streaked with blue, gray, pink, and orange.
"Red sky in morning, Sailor takes warning." Stan muttered.
"Huh?"
He turned to look at me. His profile was tinted pink from the sky.
"You've never heard that?"
I shook my head.
He cleared his throat and his grip tightened ever so slightly.
"My dad told me that Sailors used to look at the sky to predict weather. If it were red at night, they'd say, 'Red sky at night, Sailor's delight'. And if it was red in morning …"
"'Red sky in morning, Sailor takes warning."
Cutting him off, I grinned and nudged him.
"Stan, you're such a nerd."
He laughed but didn't deny it. I looked down at our connected hands. I'm so happy. We're so happy.
Stan's sleeve was rolled up slightly and it was the first time I had noticed tiny red slashes all over his left wrist. Some were faded and pink, but I could overlook the ones that were still bright red and healing. My heart was beating so hard, I was sure he could hear it.
I stopped walking and let go of his hand. Stan was forced to stop too. He looked puzzled.
"What's the matter, Dude?"
I couldn't speak. What … why? When had Stan started cutting himself? Why didn't I notice that something was seriously wrong? I almost kicked myself for being so stupid.
"Oh my god, Stan …"
He looked frightened.
"Kyle, what's wrong? You're scaring me. Tell me, please."
He had to have known …"You're wrist … when … what were you …? Just, why?"
He looked so ashamed, I could've cried. His hands hung helplessly by his side, but he had rolled down his sleeve.
"Kyle, it's alright. I'm okay. There's just been so much going on … I needed something to release my tension on. Don't hate me. I couldn't tell you. I was afraid you wouldn't understand. I- I'm so sorry …"
He was close to tears and I was still staring at him in shock.
"Oh, Stan. It's okay. I don't hate you. I just wish you would've told me … I could've helped."
He sighed and took my hand once again. His grip felt cold and I suddenly felt guilty … it really wasn't any of my business and I hadn't meant for Stan to feel bad.
"There's no sense in worrying about it now. But, Kyle?"
I looked at him wearily.
"Can you please keep quiet about this? Nobody knows and my parents will make a huge deal out of it if they find out. I'm sure they'd send me to a psychiatrist."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Of course they'd make a big deal out of it! Who wouldn't? Stan was being incredibly stupid to me. I couldn't figure it out. He was insane. Maybe he did need to go to a psychiatrist. Instead, I nodded.
"Sure, Stan. I won't tell anybody. Just promise me you'll stop doing it … please."
He didn't say a word and it made me uneasy, but I knew that he'd feel guilty if he did it again. Perhaps, he'd be safe for now. I wrapped an arm around his waist and we continued walking in eerie silence.
I hated uncomfortable silences like that. It seems like you're still having a conversation, but the whole world's listening to it.
I wasn't too worried about my Mother finding out. It couldn't have been later than 5am and she wouldn't be up for another two hours. I was happy it was Friday. What a fucked up week this had been. So much had happened. I wasn't going to be able to concentrate very well on schoolwork. I was so scared about Stan, though. This just wasn't like him.
We finally stopped in front of my house and he walked me up to my doorstep. The sun was almost completely up now and somewhere off in a distance, I could hear birds singing. It was just like in the movies with the perfect couple, ending off a date with a kiss.
Stan took both my hands in his and turned me to face him completely. He looked sad, but I gently pulled his wrist up to my face and rolled up the sleeve. I brushed my lips against the scars and he winced. I rolled down his sleeve and held it carefully between my hands.
"It's our secret, Stan."
He leaned forward and we shared a long kiss. I wanted to freeze that moment so I could look back on it forever.
He started on down the steps, our hands still connected. We slowly slid them apart and he smiled and blew me a kiss. I pretended to catch it and watched as he walked on back down the street.
I eventually turned and went inside, full of happiness and some worried thoughts.
It'll be okay.
