[About geography: It's my understanding, from people who know the New York area, that Westchester is a county about an hour north of the city. (And remember that the Friends live in Greenwich Village, which is a few miles south of Central Park, the heart of Manhattan.) So Monica and Chandler (I won't call them the Bings since she didn't take his name AND lied about it AND convinced him not to pass his surname onto their children!) have moved at least an hour away from their friends, depending on where exactly in Westchester their house is. Incidentally, Scarsdale, where Ross pictured himself and Rachel settling down with their kids in season 2, is in Westchester county.

An hour might not seem too bad, but I have relatives who live that far away from me, and we only see each other every few weeks or so, mostly for holidays. So I'm trying to convey that Joey is making a concerted effort to keep visiting Monica and Chandler every weekend, especially since he doesn't own a car and has to find someone to watch Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. while he visits. Joey is keeping in touch as best as he can, because he misses Chandler terribly and cannot bear even that much distance between them. Think of how lonely he felt in season 2 when he moved to that uptown apartment, which was still in the city! Thus, Joey wants Chandler to move back home badly, however selfish that may be.]

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At the end of his work day, instead of commuting back to Westchester as usual, Chandler took the bus over to Joey's place to ask him for the loan. He intended to drop by to see Ross and Rachel afterward, and maybe Phoebe too if there was time tonight. (Although Joey had informed Chandler that Phoebe and Mike were having a lot of arguments lately, so a visit might not be a good idea.)

When Chandler arrived at his old apartment building, he remembered belatedly that he no longer had a key, so he buzzed Joey's apartment. "Hey, Joe, it's me."

"Chandler!" Joey was surprised and delighted by his visit. "Did Monica come too? No? Okay, well, come on up anyway!" He eagerly buzzed Chandler inside, anticipating his arrival already.

"Thanks, Joe." As Chandler climbed up the familiar stairs, he noticed that many things in the building were different now. Some new light fixtures and plants had been added to stairwell, some hallways had been painted, and even Mr. Treeger had lost some weight, at the urging of his wife Marge. Apparently, life really did move on.

It had been so long since Chandler was here, in fact, that he practically felt like a stranger, and he didn't recognize some of the tenants that he passed by on the stairs. He wondered if Joey's new neighbors were really that bad, or if Joey was just prejudiced against them because he missed Chandler and Monica so much. Would it be rude to knock on the door and ask to meet them?

Before Chandler could decide, Joey spotted him through the peep hole and opened the door, instantly pulling his best friend into his apartment and giving him another hug that must have lasted a full minute.

Chandler chuckled with amusement at this warm welcome. "Joey, we just saw each other last weekend!" Joey had visited them in Westchester for the sixth weekend in the row.

"I know," Joey said, but still held onto him firmly, savoring the fact that Chandler had finally come home. If only it was permanently. "Are you gonna stay the night? I got your old room ready for you." He'd had it ready for months now, waiting for Chandler to come visit, like he'd promised to do.

"Uh, no I can't, Joe," he replied apologetically. "I just wanted to drop by for a little while and maybe see Ross and Rachel too before I catch the train home."

"Oh. Okay. Maybe some other time." Joey sighed, but he would take what he could get.

"Yeah, sure. Another time, Joe." He finally pulled out of Joey's embrace and went over to greet Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. "Hey, guys! Awww. Yes, you do look much cuter than your baby pictures."

Joey smiled as he watched Chandler laughing and petting the birds. Maybe he was just feeling overly sentimental and clingy due to lack of sleep, but it was good to have Chandler here at last. Weekdays was when he missed Chandler the most, and often, instead of rehearsing his lines as Dr. Drake Ramoray, Joey would sit around wondering whether he should call Westchester, or if Monica and Chandler would again be too busy with the twins to even pick up the phone.

Putting his arm around Chandler, Joey asked, "Hey, you wanna play video games with me? I just bought a new Xbox game."

"Oh, cool! Yeah."

So Joey showed him the new game and they played a few rounds together. Then they had a few beers and snacks while they chatted.

Chandler really enjoyed getting caught up in Joey's world once again, but after a while, he glanced at the clock and realized how long he had stayed away from home. By now, Monica would surely be going nuts with the mess and the twins again, and if he didn't hurry up, he wouldn't have time to see Ross and Rachel tonight as well.

So Chandler got serious at last and with lots of awkward stammering, he asked Joey for that loan.

Joey looked concerned and sat closer to him on the couch. "You're having money trouble again? What's wrong?" He wasn't used to Chandler being hard up for cash; Chandler was the responsible one, and besides, he had a paying job now. Joey had wished for it on lottery night.

Chandler shrugged and cleared his throat, staring at the floor in embarrassment. "Oh, it's--it's nothing, Joe. It's just temporary. We just, uh, we just have so much to pay for right now, you know, what with the adoption fees, the house, the furniture, and the daycare... Not to mention that we only planned for one baby, but ended up with two. So if you could just give us another loan, please, we'd really appreciate it. I'll pay you back when I get another promotion."

"Nah, that's okay," Joey said, well aware that he'd never paid Chandler back for everything he owed. Looking for his checkbook, Joey was about to ask how much money they needed, but he stopped when a selfish impulse struck him. He saw an opportunity that he simply couldn't pass up, and the beers that he'd consumed made him bold, so he took a shot. "Wow, uh, so that's a whole lot of bills," Joey remarked. "Man, that sounds pretty bad, Chandler. Yeah, it sounds like when I moved uptown, you know, and I bought all that furniture and art that I couldn't really afford." Almost all of the contents of Casa de Joey got repossessed when he couldn't pay for them. "Maybe you shouldn't have bought that house after all, huh?"

"What?" Chandler finally looked up and stared at Joey in disbelief. He didn't expect Joey to be so unsupportive.

Already on a roll, Joey sat up and insisted with renewed hope, "Yeah, yeah! So you should sell that place, you know, before they foreclose on you, like they did on the last guy. And hey, maybe--maybe you guys can move in here with me, huh? Wouldn't that be great?" Surely Chandler would want to come back, just like Joey had been glad to come home after kicking Eddie out.

But Chandler disagreed. "Joey, no, we already talked about that, and Monica doesn't want to move back to the city."

Joey pouted. "Come on, please! Just think about it, Chandler. I mean, you can't afford that place, and it's not right for you, and it makes Monica all stir-crazy and obsessive. So you should leave it, and come back here where everything's better. Yeah, tell her to stop freaking out about failing over there. She's not a housewife, and it's just some stupid house in the stupid suburbs!"

"Joey!" Chandler scolded him. "Stop it!"

"But--"

"No! Come on, I thought you were over this by now, Joe. Everyone else is. Why can't you just accept that we're staying put? It's our home now."

"No, it's not!" Joey got up and paced around the room, gesturing wildly. "This is your home, Chandler! This place, not Westchester! You guys belong here with us in the city. Ross and Rachel didn't move to Scarsdale just 'cause they had a baby! We didn't move to a farm just because we got a chick and a duck! Most of my family didn't move far from our old neighborhood in Queens, and they've had hundreds of kids!"

Chandler tried to reason with him. "Sure, but that's your family, Joe, not ours. We want different things--"

"No! No!" Joey shook his head vehemently and stomped his foot. "When you and Mon first started trying to get pregnant, you told us all that you were gonna stay here." He pointed to the other apartment. "You were gonna make the guest room into a nursery, and Emma was gonna have a little cousin to grow up with. That was how it was gonna be! You even told that adoption agency lady too that you wanted to stay here, when she did that home study, and I made up all that stuff to get her to approve you guys, you know?" Joey grew even more angry and resentful when remembering that. "But I guess I shouldn't have bothered, huh?! 'Cause all of a sudden, we found out that you've been lying to us and sneaking around, trying to buy a house behind our backs. You just sprang it on us out of the blue, and it didn't even have anything to do with Erica having twins, 'cause you didn't know about that yet. You just couldn't wait to get away from all of us, could you?" he accused.

"Joe, Joe!" Chandler took him by the arm and made him sit down again. He spoke as soothingly as he could, "We just changed our minds, that's all. Yeah, we did think about staying in the apartment at first, but then we decided that we didn't want to wait until later to get a house. We wanted to move to a nice, safe place outside the city, you know? Where our kids can ride their bikes and have a yard..."

Joey snorted disdainfully, not feeling at all wistful and sentimental about this white-picket-fence life that Chandler described. Joey essentially agreed with Ross, who had remarked that this vision of the suburbs seemed like a house in the 1950s, too idealized to be real. Besides, it wasn't like the twins were gonna be riding bikes for many years yet. What was the rush to leave the city now?

Joey pulled his arm out of Chandler's grasp and pouted, not feeling any calmer. "You just wanna leave us, 'cause we're not good enough for you anymore. You're nothing but a big leaver!" He shoved Chandler and turned away from him, almost crying like he did when Chandler first left for Tulsa.

(Sure, Chandler was only going to be gone for four days a week, but it was still hard for Joey to see him go. And there was always the possibility that Chandler might like Tulsa, and that Monica might eventually move to Tulsa too, or maybe Dallas with all its restaurants, to join him. Then they'd be gone for good.)

"Joey," Chandler hugged him and tried to reassure him. "It's not you guys. It's not. We've just come to a place in our lives where we have to move on, Joe. Please try to be happy for us, and just keep visiting us, you know, if it makes you feel better."

"It's--it's not gonna do any good," Joey sniffled and shook his head. "You'll just keep phasing me out. Like you've been doing for years already." He didn't want to become just another Kip, gone and forgotten.

"What are you talking about? We're not phasing you out, Joe!"

"You are!" He could no longer hide his tears, because it hurt too much. "You and me used to hang out every day, but not anymore. Not for a long time now. You even double dated with your boss Doug and his wife for a while, like you were that desperate for obnoxious new friends. And like, when me and Janine double dated with you guys, Monica said you guys are always looking for another couple to go out with. And on your honeymoon, you forgot all about us back home, and you kept talking about that dumb Greg and Jenny, like they were your best friends, when you just met them! What's up with that, huh? Then Phoebe married Mike, and you were all excited, like 'Ooh, another married couple to hang out with!' What's next, you gonna start looking for married couples with kids? You gonna talk Ross and Rachel into getting married and moving to Scarsdale? You gonna go hang out with Frank and Alice, huh?"

"Joey, just because we see other people doesn't mean that we're trying to get rid of you. We love you. It's just what happens when you get older, and you settle down. You look for couples that you have stuff in common with, and who can relate to your life. You're still my best friend, Joe, but you're just living a totally different life to us now. We're not carefree and single anymore."

Joey shrugged and wiped his tears on his sleeve. "I know, but it's not like I never tried to settle down, Chandler. I did, but it never works out with girls. Maybe it's just not meant for me." He had come to this conclusion after ten years of romantic failures. Ursula had stopped calling him after they had sex, Kate had left for L.A., the girls that he tried to become friends with immediately slept with him, Janine hadn't got along with Monica and Chandler, Erin didn't want to get serious, Rachel had rejected him at first, Charlie had dumped him for Ross, and Rachel slapped him around and ultimately settled down with Ross again. It surprised Joey that it was so hard for him to keep a girl when he really liked her, and he found it rather embarrassing and disheartening.

Chandler patted his back sympathetically. "It's okay. You don't have to be in a couple, Joe. I still wanna see you no matter what."

"Then how come it took you until tonight to come visit me? Once in three months! And it wasn't even to see me, was it? It was just to ask for the money."

Chandler was shocked that Joey would think like that. "No, no! It's not--"

Joey cut him off skeptically. "You always say you'll make time for me, but you don't. I'm still the one who has to call and make plans and visit. I mean, you might as well have moved to Tulsa, for all I see you!"

"Joey! I can't help that. It's work, and the twins, and the commute."

"But you wouldn't have the commute if you'd move back!" Joey argued. "And I'd help you with the twins." Thinking of Tulsa, Joey got another idea, and he pointed out, "Hey, you changed your mind about Tulsa and quit, remember? You came home." Joey had convinced himself that Chandler had come home for him, despite what he said to Monica that Christmas. He was sure that the "Christmas miracle" had been meant for him, just as his wish on lottery night had been meant for Chandler.

"Yeah, but I hated that job, and they forced me to move. I never should have gone in the first place."

"Right, and you never should have gone to Westchester, either. So why can't you change your mind about this too, huh?" Joey grasped his friend's hands and pleaded, "Just come back, Chandler. Come home. I'll make room for you guys here, or we can see if there's some other apartment in the area--"

Chandler shook his head and sighed in frustration. "Joey, I told you--"

"Don't you miss me?" he interrupted, crying again. "How come you never miss me like I miss you? I thought we were best friends! Forever."

"We are, Joe, and I do miss you, but it's complicated. I mean, we hardly see any of the old gang lately. Everyone's too busy with their lives, and Monica's all tense about the house being too messy for company, you know."

"That's what I mean! You don't need that house. It's too much trouble. It's just a stupid--"

"Joey, stop it!" Chandler shook him by the arms. "You have to let this go now. You have to let go."

"I-I can't." Joey gulped and got very quiet. He glanced sadly at the birds, and at the Laurel and Hardy poster on the wall, and finally at Chandler's old room, kept empty and waiting for him all this time. Joey had been so lonely for the past three months, and he kept remembering all the good times that he and Chandler used to have as roommates. Joey wished that things could just go back to the way they used to be, or at least the way that Monica and Chandler had said that things would be, up until they abruptly bought that house.

Hoping it would cheer Joey up, Chandler patted his shoulder and suggested, "Listen, why don't you get a new roommate or something?"

That was not the right thing to say. "Yeah, and then you'll get a new best friend and forget all about me!" Joey angrily shoved him away again.

"Joey, you've had other roommates since me."

"Yeah, and look how that worked out!" Not one, but two failed romances.

Chandler shrugged. "Then get a guy roommate, maybe."

Joey shook his head. He didn't want some mere substitute for Chandler, nor did he want to imagine Chandler and Monica becoming close friends with all their neighbors in Westchester. All the suburban couples with kids. If Joey got jealous of them, he'd no doubt be told to let go and move on again. And they'd just keep leaving him behind.

"It's not fair!" he pouted miserably. "I-I tried to accept you in Westchester. I tried to see you all the time and make it work, you know, but you never tried back. You never did!"

Chandler started to protest, but Joey turned and grabbed his shoulders roughly, looking into his eyes as he begged, "Just come home, Chandler. Please! Please. I miss you. I--" He broke down into tears and cried on Chandler's shoulder, clinging to him desperately. "I-I don't wanna lose you."

Chandler frowned and couldn't understand why Joey seriously thought that their friendship was in any danger. That if Chandler stayed in Westchester, the mere distance would break their bond. How could he be so insecure about them, after all these years?

"You won't lose me, Joe." Chandler embraced him and stroked Joey's hair comfortingly. "You won't." He'd never seen Joey so upset, and it struck a chord in him, reminding him of how sad it was when he moved away from Joey the first time. It was the end of an era. "Don't you understand? This is only temporary. It won't be so bad when the kids are older, and we have more time and money. We'll figure everything out, and I promise you, you'll always be in our lives. You'll always--" Then Chandler remembered his old idea of Joey living in an apartment over their garage and growing old with them. He smiled and suggested, "Joe? Joe, um, why don't you move in with us?"

Joey's tears finally subsided, and he looked up, not sure if he had heard Chandler correctly. "What?"

Chandler nodded and grew excited about the idea. Yeah, why wait a few years to ask Joey this question? Why not make this offer now? "Come live with us in Westchester. Yeah, you could move into your room for good and not have to keep going back and forth every weekend. You can bring all your furniture and stuff, and help us pay the bills. You can raid our fridge and babysit the twins. And you and me, we can hang out all the time, like we used to."

Joey blinked and realized that Chandler was serious. "Really? Move into your house? But what about my job?"

"Well, you and me can commute to Manhattan together every day, and we can rehearse your lines and everything. It'll be great."

Joey smiled happily and impulsively kissed his cheek. "Oh, oh! What about the birds? Can I bring them?"

Chandler bit his lip and recalled his wife's hatred for the original chick and duck. "Uh, well, I'll have to work something out with Monica, I guess. Maybe you can build a chicken coop out in the backyard, as long as we make sure to clean up after them."

"Yeah, yeah!" Joey liked that idea. "And we can get a new foosball table too!"

"Of course!" Chandler laughed and hugged him warmly.

Overcome with joy, Joey grabbed Chandler's face and started kissing him all over. Chandler blushed, but didn't push him away, knowing Joey's Italian, overly affectionate nature.

As he kept showering Chandler with kisses, Joey didn't realize that his aim was slightly off, due to alcohol, so he accidentally kissed Chandler on the lips. It was an easy enough mistake, much like their other brief kiss at a New Year's party years ago. But without thinking, Chandler closed his eyes and kissed him back, brushing their lips against each other softly. Closing his eyes too, Joey sighed and pulled him closer, parting Chandler's lips this time. They sank into a deep, wet kiss, even moaning in pleasure.

But then Chandler broke it off and jumped back when he realized that he was running his fingers through short hair. Joey's hair. Not Monica's hair. "Wait, wait! Wh-wh-what are we--? Oh my God, oh my god!"

Stunned and wide-eyed too, Joey stammered nervously, "I-I-I'm sorry, Chandler. I don't know what I was doing. I just, um..." Joey could hardly believe it. He'd just kissed his best friend. Kissed him and liked it.

Chandler gulped and got up from the couch, stumbling backwards to the front door. "I-I-I didn't--I'm not gay! I just--I haven't got a lot of sleep lately, and I-I had too many beers tonight..."

Joey nodded and cleared his throat. "Yeah, yeah! Me too."

Chandler opened the door and exited, feeling too upset and panicky to say anything further. He just wandered down the stairs in a daze.

Left alone, Joey remained deeply confused and troubled by their passionate kiss. Meanwhile, Chick Jr. and Duck Jr. chirped and waddled around innocently, but he imagined that they were staring at him accusingly. "What are you looking at?" he spoke defensively, then got up and hid in his bedroom.