For summary, disclaimers, spoilers, etc., please see opening chapter.
Author's notes: This story will be finished, but not before the finale of the Buffy series itself. Even though BTVS is concluding, my love for the show will not end with it and neither will my interest in the characters. I hope you will all bear with me and finish out the story even though Joss' version will end.
Someone – this chapter is for you, because, yes, he did promise.
Chapter 1: Awakenings
It should have been alarming or at the very least disconcerting, but it wasn't. Instead, his demon face had become familiar. Dawn didn't know exactly when it had happened; it wasn't like there had been an epiphany or a memorable event to document the occasion. She'd just gradually come to see it as usual and comfortable, because it meant that it was him, Spike, and not the other.
Unaware of her musings, Spike threw a piece of popcorn at her, bouncing it off her forehead. "Stop looking at me like that, Bit. You're giving me the willies. And you're gonna miss Tabitha mess up the spell." He indicated the television screen with a movement of his hand, surreptitiously using it as an excuse to hit her with another kernel of popcorn.
She stuck her tongue out at him as she brushed the piece of popcorn onto the floor, enjoying the fact that she could get away with it since Spike was visiting. "Did you see this one already?" she asked. "I wouldn't think Angel would watch 'Passions' just so you could see it."
"Course not, Bit. He has poofy taste. I know, cuz Tabitha always messes up the spell. Like life, that is. Magic often messes up."
"It worked for you," Dawn commented.
"Yeah, I was lucky, but there were consequences." His eyes returned to the screen as he watched Tabitha at her cauldron.
Dawn remembered those well. The first few times Angel had come to visit her, it had been just that – Angel. Spike hadn't wanted to come out of his self-imposed prison. Angel had apologized, saying that Spike would need time, and gradually as predicted, he'd come out. At first it had been to protect Buffy, his only response that of fists and fangs against a danger to her. Later, it had been for Buffy in a passionate capacity, a detail revealed only after much little sister prying. Finally, he had come to grips with his demons so to speak, decided he'd done enough brooding, and had become similar to the Spike she remembered.
Angel had helped by learning deep meditation. Putting himself under made it easier for Spike to come to the forefront, and Dawn felt privileged that he chose to spend much of that time of freedom with her. Of course, he spent the rest of his time with Buffy. The two occupants of the same body had come to an agreement concerning how often Spike could take over. Dawn had been impressed that her friend hadn't asked for more time. Remembering how the vampire used to be, she guessed the soul must have had an effect on him, because sharing with Angel was something she could see the old Spike doing only begrudgingly and while trying to get as much as he could.
As she came out of her thoughts, Dawn noticed him frowning at the television and making a face. The reason became obvious when she saw the feminine hygiene advertisement.
"Hey, Bit, either fast forward through the commercials or give me the remote," he complained.
Dawn jerked the remote out of his reach. "Oh, no way are you getting this. You can't be trusted with it."
Spike curled his upper lip up and jogged his head side to side, the actions made more comical because of the fangs, and said, "Well I have the popcorn." Both his tone and juvenile expression conveyed a clear "Nyah, nyah, nya, nyah nyah." He proceeded to throw said popcorn at her in small handfuls.
Dawn squealed and threw up her hands, warding off the flying kernels. "Buffy's so gonna yell at you for the mess." As if on cue, they heard the tell-tale sign of footsteps outside the door.
Spike looked at her teasingly. "Now look what you've done. Guess you'll have to take the fall, Bit."
"Me?" she squeaked. "You were the one who…" She had no time to finish, because Buffy was already coming inside.
Buffy maneuvered through the door, carrying two bags of groceries. She could have used the kitchen door, but she knew what day this was. There was no way she was going to give them a chance to hide any damage this time. She rolled her eyes at the occupants of the couch, both of whom halted abruptly and looked at her with expressions of exaggerated innocence. Of course, the entire act was ruined by the kernels of popcorn laying everywhere and the fact that not even Spike could pull off innocent when he was in vamp face. "I don't know why you two bother to watch that show at all anymore. You always end up either talking through the whole thing or making a complete mess of the living room."
"He started it," Dawn complained.
Spike shook his head at her, wide-eyed and still trying to pull off the innocent act.
Buffy bit her lip, trying to keep her stern face from being invaded by the smile that wanted to come. She really enjoyed the times Spike came to visit. She knew how happy they made Dawn. And how happy they make me, too, she added. Buffy shook her head and finally let the smile win. "Clean that up, both of you, and Spike…" She watched as hopeful gold eyes turned to her with undivided attention. "If you have some time later…"
"Of course he has time," Dawn said.
Buffy knew her sister loved her time with Spike, but she always made sure the vampire had time with her as well. Buffy only wished that this time it could be spent with entirely pleasant things, but it couldn't. She had to tell him about the dream, and for some reason, it was Spike she wanted to tell first. She took a quick trip into the kitchen to deposit the groceries.
"Of course, luv," Spike's voice followed her. "You want to do some patrolling?"
Buffy returned to the living room. "Yes, but I have some things to discuss with you as well, if that's okay?"
"That's fine. Angel will let me, I'm sure. I've been right unselfish lately. I deserve a little extra time." He nodded once emphatically.
Buffy couldn't help but smile. It was a little odd to get used to this new Spike, but she couldn't say it was a bad thing.
"Besides if he doesn't, I'll just torment him by hiding his hair gel." He smiled wider. "Or better yet I'll bleach my hair again while he's under."
Dawn bounced up and down on the couch. "Oh let's do that anyway. I miss your cool hair. The light brown is so not you. And how would he even know?" she concluded, her eyes flashing with mischief. "He can't see it in a mirror."
"Oh, now that's brilliant, Bit…"
She headed back to the kitchen, knowing that this could take a while. As she tuned out the conversation that she knew would involve careful planning but end with no actual follow through, Buffy shook her head and smiled. Okay, so maybe Spike hadn't changed entirely. She could definitely admit to herself that fact wasn't unpleasant either.
*********
The demon frowned. This had to be it. It just had to be the right dimension, because there couldn't be that many more left in this vicinity of the portal. The spell had been months ago, but he'd been careful to plot its progress when it was new, and even now, there was still a trace of its magic burned into the pathways between dimensions. That witch had been powerful, all right, and clever, too. She'd punched a hole through several dimensions before she'd dumped her cargo. Gnash hadn't been expecting it to be this difficult to find the vampire, but even with all his dimensional knowledge and experience, his search had been a long one. Soon, he knew, it had to pay off.
Gnash paused, his black eyes wandering to the wall for a moment. He was strong, and his magic was powerful, but he had no allies in this. Angelus could be a potential ally, but he couldn't be trusted. Being the powerful demon that he was, Gnash hadn't slipped by the Slayer's and her allies' radar by accident. He did it by pulling strings rather than by doing things directly. He therefore needed someone who he could trust to do the dirty work, to get things done. A smile crossed his lips. Unless he could even the odds a little. A few less players on their side, and Gnash just might be able to overcome his disadvantages. Maybe it wouldn't take even a few less players. Maybe it would only take one, and it could be even better if that one could be turned to his side. Power was a seductive mistress. Perhaps it was time he introduced that fact to someone he thought might appreciate it.
*********
Her eyes looked troubled, serious, and Spike had the feeling that whatever she had to tell him, it wasn't good. He tried to return her gaze with a reassuring expression, though in all likelihood, he expected that the effect was lost due to his fangs and demon features.
Buffy gave him a small smile and touched his face. "You're sweet sometimes. You know that?"
"Not sweet. 'm evil," he grumbled, looking away.
"Never said you weren't evil sometimes, too," she teased, before becoming serious again. "Not right now though." He tried to turn his face away from her touch, but she wouldn't let him. "I still see you, Spike. It's not just your face. It's you that makes me see what you are thinking."
She said things like that to him more often these days, and he still wasn't used to it yet. "Buffy…"
"Shh. Later. This is important, and I need you to listen very carefully. And I need you to answer something very crucial for me." As if by instinct, she moved a little closer to him on the couch. "Angel never talks about it, and I don't want to ask him, so I'm asking you."
He nodded slowly. "What is it?"
"I need you to tell me everything that happened that night. The night you and Angel…" she trailed off, no doubt seeing his expression change.
He had known which night she referred to even before she had clarified it, just by the way she had said it. His expression clouded. "That's a tall order, luv. A lot happened that night."
"Well, I especially need to know what happened with…"
She was stalling. This was bad. There weren't many things that could affect her this way. "The spell?" he guessed, though he knew that couldn't be it.
"Angelus," she finally finished, and her mouth twisted after she said it.
Spike closed his eyes for a moment. He had a feeling that this was worse than bad. It was also a subject he'd rather not revisit, but he opened his eyes again to look at her. "I tried to defeat him, Buffy, and I might have, but I didn't have the time."
"What happened?"
He cleared his throat. "Warren. He somehow barged into the crypt and disturbed the spell. I think he had a gun. I seem to remember one in the aftermath, anyway. He must have threatened someone with it, because Willow reacted. When I became really aware of what was going on again, her eyes were still black – like when she uses powerful magic, and if that was the case, well, that would explain why Tara lost the power that linked Angel's and my minds. Red probably snatched it from her in an instinctive response."
"And that was important," Buffy guessed. "Was it why you ran out of time?"
He nodded. "Angel was the one who realized it. I was all 'fists and fangs' at the time. He was the one that brought us here." He lifted a finger to his head to illustrate. "And when the connection closed…"
"Angelus was alone in Angel's body," Buffy finished.
"Yes. But I don't think Angel thought he had a choice. We don't know what would've happened without the mind connection. I might have been totally buggered."
"And Angelus might have killed you."
Spike nodded solemnly.
"What happened next?"
"Somehow Angelus got a hold of Warren, and before any of us realized what was happening…" he bared his fangs in illustration.
"Warren was a happy meal," Buffy supplied.
"Don't remember him being too happy about it," Spike said, trying hard not to smile at his own impromptu joke and failing. "Sorry, luv. Can't say as I feel bad the tosser is dead."
"Don't worry. I didn't expect you to waste any guilt on him."
He smiled gratefully then scoffed a little, the memory of the next part making him shake his head. "Angelus though, he was thrilled. Well, at least until Willow sent him God knows where."
"I think I saw where," Buffy said softly as her worried eyes met his.
"What do you mean, pet?" He felt a cold fist clench in his stomach.
"I had a slayer dream, Spike. I saw Angelus. He said he was coming home."
Oh shit, Spike thought. Bad didn't even begin to describe that scenario.
*********
It was almost the same as every other day. Somehow the pitiful excuse for a sun had set, and the animals had scurried out from the jagged rocks. There were no clouds, so no rain and little water except for small, putrid pools that sprang from the otherwise barren earth. So how there were even animals was uncertain, but each day there were a few, just enough it seemed to keep him going, but not enough that he was ever satisfied. He was no longer the being that he once was, his features more angular, and his body more bony. He didn't even bother trying to keep his face anymore, finding it easier to let the demon features that now constantly wanted to surface simply remain. Besides, there was no reason for such pretense here.
As he drank the vile blood from the filthy, little animal, he tried to imagine that it was something sweet, something human, her perhaps. No, it shouldn't be her. That would be too quick an ending, and she deserved something slow and painful, preferably while he watched. Throwing the drained animal on the ground, Angelus growled at the thought of him, the other. This was his fault. Sure he was himself again, his own vampire, the Scourge of Europe, but that did him little good stuck here in this hell dimension. He wanted nothing more than to make him pay, or more precisely, to make them pay. It was both of their faults actually. And now that he thought about it, at least Angel had an excuse, but Spike… he had no excuse for this. What kind of vampire was it that allowed himself to be so beaten, so tamed as to actually seek a soul?
Of course Buffy was the answer. Somehow she seduced them both. They perhaps had no chance of escaping her seductive pull, her light. Oh, how he would love to twist that, break her, turn her dark. He could think of many ways to do it: killing her friends, killing her family, killing them, but there were other ways too. He could seduce her. As distasteful as that idea was in some ways, in other ways it was perfect. As long as he was the one in control, the one making her beg for him, he wouldn't have to think about actually touching her. He'd abuse her, all the while making her want it, ashamed by her own depravity. Only then would he turn her. An evil smile crossed his lips. Maybe he'd even curse her with her soul. Of course that would be after he let her kill a couple dozen people, maybe her family and friends included.
He laughed, a terrible bitter sound that echoed across the earth and bounced off the jagged rocks. Tomorrow he would think of something just as satisfying, yet different. Maybe it would be something where he did depraved things to Spike as well as Buffy. No, stay with this one. Save the other for tomorrow, he told himself. He couldn't waste them all at once. These fantasies were all that kept him together now. Without them, Angelus knew he just might go mad.
*********
The vision flickered before Gnash, his concentration wavering. It was difficult, the effort making his body ache almost unbearably. The magic used to extend his statue's abilities did not come without a physical cost, but as he saw the scene before him, he knew he had to persevere just a little longer. There, that had to be it. His strength almost gone, he put down a magical marker. He couldn't stay longer with the vision today. He needed rest, but that was okay.
A feral, satisfied smile crossed his lips. Tonight, he could rest and plan, because now he finally had a glimmer of hope, and this time it was justified. In that shimmering vision of the ruined landscape, he had seen his goal. The body had been thinner, but that was to be expected given what he could discern of the landscape. The eyes, though, they never lied. Gnash was sure he had finally seen Angelus.
TBC
