[Thanks to everybody for the reviews and the encouragement to continue. Sorry for the long delay. Lacey, thanks for the story idea, though I'm currently trying to get caught up on older unfinished stories. If you can't wait for me to get around to writing that plot, please check out my story Something to Talk About, which takes place just after the Bullies incident, and if you enjoy that, don't forget to check out the two sequels to it, Our First Year and Happy Together.
Now back to this story... Certain names in this chapter have a special significance, such as the surname "Frink," which comes from Professor Frink, a character on The Simpsons that is voiced by a certain Friends guest star. Hint, hint.
Also, in the episode TOW Rosita Dies, Jack and Judy Geller sold their house, which was Monica and Ross's childhood home. I'm only guessing that the Gellers moved to Massapequa, just because they had their 35th anniversary party there. As for Jack being forceful sometimes, think of his argument with the Walthams in London, and Judy cooing, "Oh, Jack! Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be," before making out with him.]
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At close to six o'clock, Monica pulled her Porsche into the driveway of her parents' relatively new house in Massapequa. It was smaller than the old house, since they no longer had kids at home, and Jack no longer bothered to pretend that he was making use of the gym. The house was comfortable, though, and some of their friends and relatives conveniently lived nearby as well. Living in such quiet retirement, the Gellers surely didn't have any use for that old beach house anymore, and Monica hoped to convince them to sell it, then loan her and Chandler the money.
As she got out of her car, her parents opened the front door and came out to greet her. Jack kissed her cheek and welcomed "our little Harmonica" affectionately, while Judy glanced critically at the Porsche.
"You may be right, dear," she said. "It's not your bottle-feeding that's upsetting the babies. It's your driving and parking."
Suppressing a groan, Monica ignored the dig and focused on her father's hug instead. Jack joked about his night-blindness, "At least she doesn't crash into nativity displays like me! Did I tell you? They thought it was a hate crime!"
They went inside to have dinner, and Judy asked as she passed the bread, "So, tell us, Monica, how did you manage to get the babies to breastfeed?"
Monica told them about it, but Judy was not impressed by the nursing device. "Oh, I thought you meant that you were really breastfeeding them, dear. It seems to me that you just wasted money on a fancy way of feeding them formula."
Monica was hurt, and she protested that she felt closer to her babies, and that the nipple stimulation helped her to produce some milk of her own as well. "The doctors said that even a little breast milk is a good supplement for the babies."
"Monica! Don't talk about your nipples in front of your father!"
Jack was somewhat embarrassed, but shrugged it off goodnaturedly and reminded his wife, "You brought up breastfeeding in the first place, Judy. In the middle of dinner! Anyway, can we talk about something else? How are the babies now?"
Monica happily told them cute, entertaining stories about Jack and Erica, and how much she loved them. (She avoided mentioning anything unpleasant about motherhood, like how tired and overwhelmed she could feel sometimes, especially when Chandler was away at work. She didn't want to give her mother fodder.) Monica's only complaint was that soon she would not be able to stay home with the twins anymore, because her maternity leave was ending. "So I'm trying to find a good daycare center or nanny in Westchester, you know, but all the ones with good references seem to be very expensive."
Jack remarked that everything was expensive lately, and gave examples. Judy commented, "In our day, women stayed at home for at least a few years to take care of the kids. Not just months."
Monica nodded. "I know, but that's not a luxury I can afford right now, mom. Besides, I promised Javu that I'd be back at the restaurant soon, so he wouldn't need that fill-in head chef for too long."
"If only you'd been more successful in your career sooner," Judy lamented, "or if only you'd married younger and started a family before now, then you wouldn't have to juggle both at the same time."
"Well, Chandler wasn't ready for a baby until recently, and we didn't know how hard it would be for us. Not everyone can have a miracle baby like you did."
"That's true," Judy said, but soon launched on her favorite subject. "Speaking of your brother, I think I hear wedding bells for him and Rachel!"
"What? They're not engaged."
"Oh, but they might as well be! They are quite a loving, devoted family whenever we come to visit them. I think I'll have to get out Nana's wedding ring again, so that he can propose with it."
"They've barely been back together for three months." Monica tried to discourage her mother and remind her of the last time she interfered, but Judy glossed over such difficulties, in her eagerness to help her favorite child achieve the perfect life. She also repeated her disapproval that Monica didn't let them visit the twins more often, and Monica in frustration agreed to drop off the twins at Ross and Rachel's apartment, next time that Judy and Jack came to visit Emma and/or Ben.
"Thank you." Judy couldn't help but add, "And make sure you don't jolt them too much on the drive over. Or have Chandler drive for you."
Monica bit her tongue and stabbed her fork into her potato. All through dinner, she tried to segue into a request for a loan, but between Judy's tendency to talk about Ross, and Jack's absent-minded rambles on various subjects, she couldn't get anywhere. After dinner, they cleared the dishes, then went into the den to have coffee and look through some photo albums. Monica gave them a few new baby pictures and pointed out photos of the old beach house, asking them if they still used it.
"Oh, not much anymore. Sometimes we go there with the Blymens for vacation." Judy smiled and got an idea, "You know, Jack, we should lend the beach house to Ross and Rachel when they go on their honeymoon. Oh, why just lend it? Maybe it could even be a wedding gift!"
Monica had enough of this. If anyone deserved that wedding gift, it was her and Chandler. Why must her parents continually lavish gifts on Ross, even paying for half of his wedding to Emily, yet they casually spent her wedding fund on a beach house when she was twenty-three? "Mom! They're not getting married! And even if they were, it's not fair, 'cause you never--!" Her voice went hypersonic, unfortunately, and rendered her complaints about their favoritism and her wedding fund unintelligible.
Not that Judy would have listened. She was surprised and appalled by her daughter's outburst, telling Monica to calm down and act like a grown up. She was a woman of 35, after all.
Monica got up and stormed out of the room. She even got her coat and ran outside, slamming the front door and going to the car with her keys. It was pointless to stay now, when she had made a scene. She would have to try asking them for a loan another time, or else try again to get the loan from Joey. Yeah, it might be less trouble to talk Joey into helping them and make Chandler make up with him.
"Monica, wait!"
She looked up and saw her father coming out of the house after her. He wasn't really sure what exactly had upset her, but he could see that it was serious, and that Judy's stern reaction hadn't helped.
"Don't go, sweetie. Come here." He held out his arms to her, and she accepted the hug, clinging to him and crying like a little girl.
"I'm sorry!" she moaned miserably.
"No, I'm sorry." He patted her head and murmured gently, "Shh, it's okay. My little Harmonica."
Judy had arrived at the door by now, and she wondered if Monica had explained herself yet. "Jack?"
Monica noticeably cringed at the sound of her mother's voice, so Jack turned to his wife and said, "Judy, go inside."
"But Jack--"
He spoke more firmly, "Judy, please! Just give us a few minutes."
Judy did admire it when Jack occasionally become forceful, because it made him so sexy, so she said, "All right" and obeyed.
After Judy returned inside and shut the door, Monica relaxed, and Jack asked her, "Sweetie, can you tell me what happened now? Was it something about the beach house? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying close enough attention."
Monica wiped her tears on the tissue that he gave her from his pocket, but as she started to explain things to him, she noticed that her mother was watching them through the front window. While it was natural for Judy to be curious, and she probably wouldn't be able to accurately lip-read much of their conversation, Monica still didn't like being within reach of Judy's disapproving glare, and besides, maybe the neighbors might see them too and be inquisitive.
"Uh, dad, can we talk about this someplace private? Not in front of the neighbors or anybody?"
"Sure, honey. Where? Maybe in the backyard or the guest room?"
"How about we go for a ride in the car? I can drive us somewhere, like to the park."
"All right, honey. Let me tell your mother first and get my coat, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks, Dad."
Monica got into the Porsche and waited, still dabbing her eyes occasionally. Then her father joined her and even brought her a box of tissues from the house.
She smiled and thanked him, then started the car and backed up out of the driveway.
Jack couldn't help admiring the Porsche as he fastened his seatbelt. "It's been awhile since I rode in this old girl. You've taken good care of her, sweetie."
Monica was pleased, especially given how protective Jack had been of the car when he owned it. "And do you think that I drive it all right, Dad?"
He nodded proudly as he observed her skills in action. "Yes, you're careful, just like I taught you." Then he realized her point and felt dense. "Oh. You're upset about your mother, aren't you? And how she criticized you tonight?" He had believed that his daughter was used to Judy's personality by now, and that it didn't bother her anymore, especially after the therapy with Dr. Weinberg in her youth, and the fact that Monica no longer felt the need to over-eat to compensate for the lack of love and approval.
Monica nodded. "Yeah, that's part of it, Dad. And there's some other stuff that I'll tell you about when we get to the park."
"Okay." He gave her directions to the park, and added, "I know your mother's hard on you, honey, but she doesn't really mean any harm. She loves you, and she gets a lot of that from her own mother criticizing her."
"I know. I remember what Nana was like."
Jack patted her knee paternally and remembered those early years. "Did I tell you that there was some disapproval from my side of the family too? They didn't want me to marry a shiksa, you know. It was a big thing back then." Shiksa was a disparaging term for a non-Jewish girl. "Judy felt like she had to work twice as hard to be accepted into the family, and she had to raise you guys perfectly to satisfy them. Finally I had to put my foot down and tell them all that we were gonna celebrate both Christmas and Hanakkuh, and they better stop complaining about it, or they wouldn't be invited for either!"
"I don't remember that," Monica said, and Jack explained that it happened before Monica was born, and while Ross was still in diapers.
They reminisced about holidays for a while, and when they arrived at the park, Monica pulled into a parking space and shut off the engine. Then they turned to each other and began to talk about what happened at the house. Jack offered her the tissues again, just in case she got weepy again.
Taking a breath, Monica explained what upset her about the beach house. "It's just, Ross always gets the good stuff because he's Mom's miracle baby. What am I, chopped liver? And now she's even talking about giving him the beach house too, for some hypothetical marriage to Rachel. Just like that, never even thinking of whether I'd want it. Shouldn't that beach house belong to me and Chandler, anyway? You guys bought it with the money from my wedding fund."
"Oh, you want the house? I'm sorry, dear. Okay, then I'll talk to your mother about it when we get back tonight."
"Thank you, Dad. We really need it now."
"Really? But I thought you wouldn't have any time to go on vacations right now, what with the twins, and you having to go back to work soon."
"No, we can't go anywhere. We actually wanna sell it, because we need the money."
"You need money?" He looked concerned and surprised. "What happened to your savings?"
Biting her fingernails, she told him that they did have substantial savings once, but unexpected expenses had eaten into their bank account, starting with Chandler quitting his job and having an unpaid internship for a while, before getting an entry-level job that paid a mere fraction of his former salary. "And then with the adoption expenses, and us buying the house, and having two babies instead of one, we can't really keep any savings lately, and it's only gonna get worse when we have to pay for daycare next month."
"Oh sweetheart, why didn't you tell me it was so bad?" He hugged her. "Of course you can have the house, and I'll even put you in touch with a real estate agent to help you sell it for a good price."
Monica hugged him gratefully and confessed, "It's just, I was so scared to tell you, Dad, because I knew Mom would get all disapproving and say that I can't do anything right, and I'm a failure!" She broke down into tears again. "It's why I can't invite you over to Westchester, because I haven't bought enough furniture for it, and it's always a mess, and I can't make it perfect, and--" Her voice got hypersonic like before.
Jack did his best to comfort her while absorbing this surprising information. "Oh, my little Harmonica! Shh, shh! It's okay, honey. It's okay. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just like I told your mother years ago--it doesn't have to be perfect, just happy. You're just going through a rough spot like everybody does at one time or another." He caressed her cheek and met her eyes reassuringly. "And don't you worry about your mother giving you a hard time. I'll have a talk with her--"
"No, no! Don't tell her!" Monica pleaded. "Please. I don't want her to know."
"Monica, I can handle her. I'll make sure your mother knows that I won't let her say that kind of stuff about this."
She insisted, "But I really--I really don't want her to know. To even think it. Please, Dad." After tonight's events, she was sure that she couldn't take even the nonverbal criticism of her mother's eyes. "At least don't tell her how bad the house is. You know her."
"I know." He sighed. "All right, I promise. I'll just say, we're giving you the beach house because it's only fair; it came from your wedding fund. We spoil Ross too much, anyway. Besides, Rachel can get houses and ski cabins and whatever from her rich family, so it's not like they'll miss out on anything."
"Thank you. I love you, Dad."
"I love you too." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "But look, do you need a loan right away? Should I write you a check to tide you over?"
She nodded and told him how much they needed. "If Mom asks you what it's for, can you say that it's some kind of... advance deposit for me to sign up with a daycare company, or something? I mean, she shouldn't miss the money for long, because we'll pay you back as soon as the house is sold, or Chandler gets a promotion."
"No, no, keep it, honey. It's the wedding gift that we should have got you. I can tell Judy that I'm buying Chandler a membership in my gym, I guess." As he wrote the check and handed it to her, he got an idea. "Oh, listen, if you need more money than this, how about you sell the Porsche?"
"The Porsche?"
"Sure. I mean, the insurance payments on this thing are very high, and with you having the twins, it's probably better for you guys to have a more practical car now. You know, something safe and fuel efficient, like a Volvo. Or something to haul around the kids and the groceries, like an SUV. Those things are all over the place!"
"Oh. I hadn't thought about that." Monica almost didn't want to part with the sportscar, really, because it meant so much to her, as a gift from her father, and a symbol of his love.
Jack told her, "You should be able to get a good trade-in value on this Porsche, and I'll help you haggle the price with the dealer. Or maybe I can get something good second-hand from one of your aunts or cousins. I'll ask around." He squeezed his daughter's hands encouragingly, "Don't you worry, honey. You'll get through this just fine."
"Okay." Monica decided that she wouldn't miss this car so much, if her father helped her get a new one; then that new car would be a gift from him too. "Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate it. If there's anything I can ever do for you, like a free dinner at Javu's--"
"Oh, you don't have to--" But then he got an idea, and looked pensive.
"What?" Monica asked him.
He felt kind of guilty for asking it, but then he shrugged and decided to go through with it. "Okay. Well, um, could you rename your son to something besides Jack?"
She was bewildered. "But, Dad, I named him after you."
"I know. That's the problem." He sighed. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm honored, really, and I know you meant it with love. It's just... there's this Jewish taboo that you don't name a child after any living relative. It's an old superstition about the angel of death coming to take the older namesake, but getting confused and taking the baby instead."
Monica gasped. "Really?"
Jack nodded and said, "Now, I know that we raised you and Ross in a mixed way, and I know it's a silly superstition. But we did give you bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs, and there are still some traditions that I just can't let go of. So you see, having little Jack named after me really creeps me out."
"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know. Why didn't you say something before?"
"Well, I didn't want to embarrass you, or have your mother hear about it and make a big deal. Maybe you can make Jack his middle name, since you're used to calling him that, or better yet, John, just to make it more different. Isn't there any other boy's name that you would like for his first name, Monica? Maybe your late grandfather's name, or some names from Chandler's family?"
She thought about it. "Well, I liked the name Daniel."
"Good. That's good. A nice Biblical name. Go with that."
"Okay."
"And if Chandler asks why the change, just tell him that you're humoring an old man."
"Right."
They hugged and kissed each other again, then wiped away their tears with the tissues. Once they were composed, they refastened their seat belts and drove back to the house. Monica dropped off her father, then drove home to Westchester, feeling more hopeful and happy now.
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After arranging for a babysitter to watch Emma for hour, Ross and Rachel went across the street to find out what was wrong with Joey. They let themselves into Joey's apartment and went to Chandler's old room.
Joey was surprised to see them, and he clutched Hugsy in front of his face while asking them why they came and where Emma was. Rachel explained where Emma was, and Ross explained that Phoebe had sent them to check on him.
"We were worried about you. What's wrong, Joe?"
"Nothing!" he denied angrily. "I told Phoebe that I need to be alone. Please go home."
"But, Joey--!"
"Go away!" He got up from the bed and pushed them out of the bedroom. He tried to push them out the apartment as well, but they protested.
"Come on, Joe, we're your friends."
"Are you just missing Chandler and Monica again? Because if you're lonely, you can come stay the night at our place."
"No, no. I-I couldn't leave the birds for that long."
"Well, bring them too."
"No, I don't wanna leave. Just go home!"
"Joey, seriously, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing! Leave me alone, and go--go comfort Phoebe about her divorce!"
Ross and Rachel finally gave up and left the apartment. He locked the door after him, then headed back to the bedroom with a pout. But Joey heard the birds chirping plaintively again, so he picked up their nest and brought them into Chandler's bedroom with him. Setting them on the bedside table, he turned on the radio to soothe them with music. When they calmed down, he lay down on the bed again, holding Hugsy close.
He missed Chandler so badly and wondered if Chandler was mad at him. Joey had dropped off his note of apology at the advertising agency earlier that day, but Chandler still hadn't called him or anything. Maybe it was too soon after that kiss last night, but Joey ached to have some kind of reassurance that their friendship was salvageable.
Joey still couldn't understand why he'd kissed Chandler like that. He didn't think that it was just from being slightly drunk and not getting enough sleep lately, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was.
In any case, Joey missed Chandler desperately and couldn't help clinging to him like some needy fool. He had kept this bedroom ready for him for three months, waiting patiently. Waiting even for just a phone call on some weeknight. Just to hear his voice, just to know that Chandler missed him as much and wasn't already becoming best friends with some neighbor in Westchester, phasing Joey out like his old roommate Kip. Sometimes, Joey had dreams that Chandler was actually here, that he came to visit and was staying the night. In those dreams, they'd hang out like in the good old days, watching Baywatch or playing foosball or giving the duck a bath. And sometimes they'd just hug, lingering for many minutes in each other's arms. Those dreams always made him so happy, until he woke up and realized that they weren't real.
If only Chandler was here now. Joey ached to see him again. How long would this rift last? Would he ever really get to move in with Chandler in Westchester, or was that offer revoked now and forever? Joey cried again and didn't know what to do. And for reasons he didn't understand, his thoughts kept going back to that kiss last night.
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At home, Phoebe got a call from Ross and Rachel, who said that they too weren't able to find out what was wrong with Joey.
Phoebe said, "Wow. Maybe it's something he'll only talk about with Chandler."
"Maybe. You wanna try calling Chandler to talk to Joey?"
"Well, we better wait until tomorrow, since Joey insists on being alone tonight. I'll try to call Chandler, or maybe I'll drop by the advertising agency, since I'm already taking the afternoon off to go see the divorce lawyer."
"Okay. Well, let us know how everything goes."
"Sure. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
The next day, Phoebe went to work at the massage parlor as usual, and had a pretty quiet morning, other than telling her co-workers about her plans to divorce Mike. Monica still hadn't returned her phone call from yesterday, so Phoebe assumed that she was busy with the twins again.
At lunchtime, Phoebe left work and headed for a vegetarian restaurant, so she could have a quick lunch before catching a bus uptown. After her appointment with the lawyer, she intended to go see Chandler and tell him all about Joey's moping. Maybe she'd even offer to go to Westchester for him and help Monica with the twins, so that Chandler could go visit Joey that evening.
As she went over these plans in her head, Phoebe took out her cellphone to check for any messages. Due to her distraction, she accidentally collided with someone in the crowd, which knocked the phone out of her hand.
"Oh no!" She dived down to get the phone before it hit the sidewalk, but bumped heads with the man who had dived for the phone at the same time. "Ow!"
They backed away from each other and rubbed their foreheads while exchanging apologies. But then Phoebe gasped and realized that the stranger who had caught her phone was no stranger at all.
He was none other than David Frink--David, her scientist guy, whom she hadn't seen since Barbados. She couldn't believe it, and David looked stunned as well, as he adjusted the glasses on his face and handed the phone back to her.
Now back to this story... Certain names in this chapter have a special significance, such as the surname "Frink," which comes from Professor Frink, a character on The Simpsons that is voiced by a certain Friends guest star. Hint, hint.
Also, in the episode TOW Rosita Dies, Jack and Judy Geller sold their house, which was Monica and Ross's childhood home. I'm only guessing that the Gellers moved to Massapequa, just because they had their 35th anniversary party there. As for Jack being forceful sometimes, think of his argument with the Walthams in London, and Judy cooing, "Oh, Jack! Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be," before making out with him.]
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At close to six o'clock, Monica pulled her Porsche into the driveway of her parents' relatively new house in Massapequa. It was smaller than the old house, since they no longer had kids at home, and Jack no longer bothered to pretend that he was making use of the gym. The house was comfortable, though, and some of their friends and relatives conveniently lived nearby as well. Living in such quiet retirement, the Gellers surely didn't have any use for that old beach house anymore, and Monica hoped to convince them to sell it, then loan her and Chandler the money.
As she got out of her car, her parents opened the front door and came out to greet her. Jack kissed her cheek and welcomed "our little Harmonica" affectionately, while Judy glanced critically at the Porsche.
"You may be right, dear," she said. "It's not your bottle-feeding that's upsetting the babies. It's your driving and parking."
Suppressing a groan, Monica ignored the dig and focused on her father's hug instead. Jack joked about his night-blindness, "At least she doesn't crash into nativity displays like me! Did I tell you? They thought it was a hate crime!"
They went inside to have dinner, and Judy asked as she passed the bread, "So, tell us, Monica, how did you manage to get the babies to breastfeed?"
Monica told them about it, but Judy was not impressed by the nursing device. "Oh, I thought you meant that you were really breastfeeding them, dear. It seems to me that you just wasted money on a fancy way of feeding them formula."
Monica was hurt, and she protested that she felt closer to her babies, and that the nipple stimulation helped her to produce some milk of her own as well. "The doctors said that even a little breast milk is a good supplement for the babies."
"Monica! Don't talk about your nipples in front of your father!"
Jack was somewhat embarrassed, but shrugged it off goodnaturedly and reminded his wife, "You brought up breastfeeding in the first place, Judy. In the middle of dinner! Anyway, can we talk about something else? How are the babies now?"
Monica happily told them cute, entertaining stories about Jack and Erica, and how much she loved them. (She avoided mentioning anything unpleasant about motherhood, like how tired and overwhelmed she could feel sometimes, especially when Chandler was away at work. She didn't want to give her mother fodder.) Monica's only complaint was that soon she would not be able to stay home with the twins anymore, because her maternity leave was ending. "So I'm trying to find a good daycare center or nanny in Westchester, you know, but all the ones with good references seem to be very expensive."
Jack remarked that everything was expensive lately, and gave examples. Judy commented, "In our day, women stayed at home for at least a few years to take care of the kids. Not just months."
Monica nodded. "I know, but that's not a luxury I can afford right now, mom. Besides, I promised Javu that I'd be back at the restaurant soon, so he wouldn't need that fill-in head chef for too long."
"If only you'd been more successful in your career sooner," Judy lamented, "or if only you'd married younger and started a family before now, then you wouldn't have to juggle both at the same time."
"Well, Chandler wasn't ready for a baby until recently, and we didn't know how hard it would be for us. Not everyone can have a miracle baby like you did."
"That's true," Judy said, but soon launched on her favorite subject. "Speaking of your brother, I think I hear wedding bells for him and Rachel!"
"What? They're not engaged."
"Oh, but they might as well be! They are quite a loving, devoted family whenever we come to visit them. I think I'll have to get out Nana's wedding ring again, so that he can propose with it."
"They've barely been back together for three months." Monica tried to discourage her mother and remind her of the last time she interfered, but Judy glossed over such difficulties, in her eagerness to help her favorite child achieve the perfect life. She also repeated her disapproval that Monica didn't let them visit the twins more often, and Monica in frustration agreed to drop off the twins at Ross and Rachel's apartment, next time that Judy and Jack came to visit Emma and/or Ben.
"Thank you." Judy couldn't help but add, "And make sure you don't jolt them too much on the drive over. Or have Chandler drive for you."
Monica bit her tongue and stabbed her fork into her potato. All through dinner, she tried to segue into a request for a loan, but between Judy's tendency to talk about Ross, and Jack's absent-minded rambles on various subjects, she couldn't get anywhere. After dinner, they cleared the dishes, then went into the den to have coffee and look through some photo albums. Monica gave them a few new baby pictures and pointed out photos of the old beach house, asking them if they still used it.
"Oh, not much anymore. Sometimes we go there with the Blymens for vacation." Judy smiled and got an idea, "You know, Jack, we should lend the beach house to Ross and Rachel when they go on their honeymoon. Oh, why just lend it? Maybe it could even be a wedding gift!"
Monica had enough of this. If anyone deserved that wedding gift, it was her and Chandler. Why must her parents continually lavish gifts on Ross, even paying for half of his wedding to Emily, yet they casually spent her wedding fund on a beach house when she was twenty-three? "Mom! They're not getting married! And even if they were, it's not fair, 'cause you never--!" Her voice went hypersonic, unfortunately, and rendered her complaints about their favoritism and her wedding fund unintelligible.
Not that Judy would have listened. She was surprised and appalled by her daughter's outburst, telling Monica to calm down and act like a grown up. She was a woman of 35, after all.
Monica got up and stormed out of the room. She even got her coat and ran outside, slamming the front door and going to the car with her keys. It was pointless to stay now, when she had made a scene. She would have to try asking them for a loan another time, or else try again to get the loan from Joey. Yeah, it might be less trouble to talk Joey into helping them and make Chandler make up with him.
"Monica, wait!"
She looked up and saw her father coming out of the house after her. He wasn't really sure what exactly had upset her, but he could see that it was serious, and that Judy's stern reaction hadn't helped.
"Don't go, sweetie. Come here." He held out his arms to her, and she accepted the hug, clinging to him and crying like a little girl.
"I'm sorry!" she moaned miserably.
"No, I'm sorry." He patted her head and murmured gently, "Shh, it's okay. My little Harmonica."
Judy had arrived at the door by now, and she wondered if Monica had explained herself yet. "Jack?"
Monica noticeably cringed at the sound of her mother's voice, so Jack turned to his wife and said, "Judy, go inside."
"But Jack--"
He spoke more firmly, "Judy, please! Just give us a few minutes."
Judy did admire it when Jack occasionally become forceful, because it made him so sexy, so she said, "All right" and obeyed.
After Judy returned inside and shut the door, Monica relaxed, and Jack asked her, "Sweetie, can you tell me what happened now? Was it something about the beach house? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying close enough attention."
Monica wiped her tears on the tissue that he gave her from his pocket, but as she started to explain things to him, she noticed that her mother was watching them through the front window. While it was natural for Judy to be curious, and she probably wouldn't be able to accurately lip-read much of their conversation, Monica still didn't like being within reach of Judy's disapproving glare, and besides, maybe the neighbors might see them too and be inquisitive.
"Uh, dad, can we talk about this someplace private? Not in front of the neighbors or anybody?"
"Sure, honey. Where? Maybe in the backyard or the guest room?"
"How about we go for a ride in the car? I can drive us somewhere, like to the park."
"All right, honey. Let me tell your mother first and get my coat, okay?"
"Okay. Thanks, Dad."
Monica got into the Porsche and waited, still dabbing her eyes occasionally. Then her father joined her and even brought her a box of tissues from the house.
She smiled and thanked him, then started the car and backed up out of the driveway.
Jack couldn't help admiring the Porsche as he fastened his seatbelt. "It's been awhile since I rode in this old girl. You've taken good care of her, sweetie."
Monica was pleased, especially given how protective Jack had been of the car when he owned it. "And do you think that I drive it all right, Dad?"
He nodded proudly as he observed her skills in action. "Yes, you're careful, just like I taught you." Then he realized her point and felt dense. "Oh. You're upset about your mother, aren't you? And how she criticized you tonight?" He had believed that his daughter was used to Judy's personality by now, and that it didn't bother her anymore, especially after the therapy with Dr. Weinberg in her youth, and the fact that Monica no longer felt the need to over-eat to compensate for the lack of love and approval.
Monica nodded. "Yeah, that's part of it, Dad. And there's some other stuff that I'll tell you about when we get to the park."
"Okay." He gave her directions to the park, and added, "I know your mother's hard on you, honey, but she doesn't really mean any harm. She loves you, and she gets a lot of that from her own mother criticizing her."
"I know. I remember what Nana was like."
Jack patted her knee paternally and remembered those early years. "Did I tell you that there was some disapproval from my side of the family too? They didn't want me to marry a shiksa, you know. It was a big thing back then." Shiksa was a disparaging term for a non-Jewish girl. "Judy felt like she had to work twice as hard to be accepted into the family, and she had to raise you guys perfectly to satisfy them. Finally I had to put my foot down and tell them all that we were gonna celebrate both Christmas and Hanakkuh, and they better stop complaining about it, or they wouldn't be invited for either!"
"I don't remember that," Monica said, and Jack explained that it happened before Monica was born, and while Ross was still in diapers.
They reminisced about holidays for a while, and when they arrived at the park, Monica pulled into a parking space and shut off the engine. Then they turned to each other and began to talk about what happened at the house. Jack offered her the tissues again, just in case she got weepy again.
Taking a breath, Monica explained what upset her about the beach house. "It's just, Ross always gets the good stuff because he's Mom's miracle baby. What am I, chopped liver? And now she's even talking about giving him the beach house too, for some hypothetical marriage to Rachel. Just like that, never even thinking of whether I'd want it. Shouldn't that beach house belong to me and Chandler, anyway? You guys bought it with the money from my wedding fund."
"Oh, you want the house? I'm sorry, dear. Okay, then I'll talk to your mother about it when we get back tonight."
"Thank you, Dad. We really need it now."
"Really? But I thought you wouldn't have any time to go on vacations right now, what with the twins, and you having to go back to work soon."
"No, we can't go anywhere. We actually wanna sell it, because we need the money."
"You need money?" He looked concerned and surprised. "What happened to your savings?"
Biting her fingernails, she told him that they did have substantial savings once, but unexpected expenses had eaten into their bank account, starting with Chandler quitting his job and having an unpaid internship for a while, before getting an entry-level job that paid a mere fraction of his former salary. "And then with the adoption expenses, and us buying the house, and having two babies instead of one, we can't really keep any savings lately, and it's only gonna get worse when we have to pay for daycare next month."
"Oh sweetheart, why didn't you tell me it was so bad?" He hugged her. "Of course you can have the house, and I'll even put you in touch with a real estate agent to help you sell it for a good price."
Monica hugged him gratefully and confessed, "It's just, I was so scared to tell you, Dad, because I knew Mom would get all disapproving and say that I can't do anything right, and I'm a failure!" She broke down into tears again. "It's why I can't invite you over to Westchester, because I haven't bought enough furniture for it, and it's always a mess, and I can't make it perfect, and--" Her voice got hypersonic like before.
Jack did his best to comfort her while absorbing this surprising information. "Oh, my little Harmonica! Shh, shh! It's okay, honey. It's okay. It doesn't have to be perfect. Just like I told your mother years ago--it doesn't have to be perfect, just happy. You're just going through a rough spot like everybody does at one time or another." He caressed her cheek and met her eyes reassuringly. "And don't you worry about your mother giving you a hard time. I'll have a talk with her--"
"No, no! Don't tell her!" Monica pleaded. "Please. I don't want her to know."
"Monica, I can handle her. I'll make sure your mother knows that I won't let her say that kind of stuff about this."
She insisted, "But I really--I really don't want her to know. To even think it. Please, Dad." After tonight's events, she was sure that she couldn't take even the nonverbal criticism of her mother's eyes. "At least don't tell her how bad the house is. You know her."
"I know." He sighed. "All right, I promise. I'll just say, we're giving you the beach house because it's only fair; it came from your wedding fund. We spoil Ross too much, anyway. Besides, Rachel can get houses and ski cabins and whatever from her rich family, so it's not like they'll miss out on anything."
"Thank you. I love you, Dad."
"I love you too." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "But look, do you need a loan right away? Should I write you a check to tide you over?"
She nodded and told him how much they needed. "If Mom asks you what it's for, can you say that it's some kind of... advance deposit for me to sign up with a daycare company, or something? I mean, she shouldn't miss the money for long, because we'll pay you back as soon as the house is sold, or Chandler gets a promotion."
"No, no, keep it, honey. It's the wedding gift that we should have got you. I can tell Judy that I'm buying Chandler a membership in my gym, I guess." As he wrote the check and handed it to her, he got an idea. "Oh, listen, if you need more money than this, how about you sell the Porsche?"
"The Porsche?"
"Sure. I mean, the insurance payments on this thing are very high, and with you having the twins, it's probably better for you guys to have a more practical car now. You know, something safe and fuel efficient, like a Volvo. Or something to haul around the kids and the groceries, like an SUV. Those things are all over the place!"
"Oh. I hadn't thought about that." Monica almost didn't want to part with the sportscar, really, because it meant so much to her, as a gift from her father, and a symbol of his love.
Jack told her, "You should be able to get a good trade-in value on this Porsche, and I'll help you haggle the price with the dealer. Or maybe I can get something good second-hand from one of your aunts or cousins. I'll ask around." He squeezed his daughter's hands encouragingly, "Don't you worry, honey. You'll get through this just fine."
"Okay." Monica decided that she wouldn't miss this car so much, if her father helped her get a new one; then that new car would be a gift from him too. "Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate it. If there's anything I can ever do for you, like a free dinner at Javu's--"
"Oh, you don't have to--" But then he got an idea, and looked pensive.
"What?" Monica asked him.
He felt kind of guilty for asking it, but then he shrugged and decided to go through with it. "Okay. Well, um, could you rename your son to something besides Jack?"
She was bewildered. "But, Dad, I named him after you."
"I know. That's the problem." He sighed. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm honored, really, and I know you meant it with love. It's just... there's this Jewish taboo that you don't name a child after any living relative. It's an old superstition about the angel of death coming to take the older namesake, but getting confused and taking the baby instead."
Monica gasped. "Really?"
Jack nodded and said, "Now, I know that we raised you and Ross in a mixed way, and I know it's a silly superstition. But we did give you bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs, and there are still some traditions that I just can't let go of. So you see, having little Jack named after me really creeps me out."
"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know. Why didn't you say something before?"
"Well, I didn't want to embarrass you, or have your mother hear about it and make a big deal. Maybe you can make Jack his middle name, since you're used to calling him that, or better yet, John, just to make it more different. Isn't there any other boy's name that you would like for his first name, Monica? Maybe your late grandfather's name, or some names from Chandler's family?"
She thought about it. "Well, I liked the name Daniel."
"Good. That's good. A nice Biblical name. Go with that."
"Okay."
"And if Chandler asks why the change, just tell him that you're humoring an old man."
"Right."
They hugged and kissed each other again, then wiped away their tears with the tissues. Once they were composed, they refastened their seat belts and drove back to the house. Monica dropped off her father, then drove home to Westchester, feeling more hopeful and happy now.
---
After arranging for a babysitter to watch Emma for hour, Ross and Rachel went across the street to find out what was wrong with Joey. They let themselves into Joey's apartment and went to Chandler's old room.
Joey was surprised to see them, and he clutched Hugsy in front of his face while asking them why they came and where Emma was. Rachel explained where Emma was, and Ross explained that Phoebe had sent them to check on him.
"We were worried about you. What's wrong, Joe?"
"Nothing!" he denied angrily. "I told Phoebe that I need to be alone. Please go home."
"But, Joey--!"
"Go away!" He got up from the bed and pushed them out of the bedroom. He tried to push them out the apartment as well, but they protested.
"Come on, Joe, we're your friends."
"Are you just missing Chandler and Monica again? Because if you're lonely, you can come stay the night at our place."
"No, no. I-I couldn't leave the birds for that long."
"Well, bring them too."
"No, I don't wanna leave. Just go home!"
"Joey, seriously, what's wrong with you?"
"Nothing! Leave me alone, and go--go comfort Phoebe about her divorce!"
Ross and Rachel finally gave up and left the apartment. He locked the door after him, then headed back to the bedroom with a pout. But Joey heard the birds chirping plaintively again, so he picked up their nest and brought them into Chandler's bedroom with him. Setting them on the bedside table, he turned on the radio to soothe them with music. When they calmed down, he lay down on the bed again, holding Hugsy close.
He missed Chandler so badly and wondered if Chandler was mad at him. Joey had dropped off his note of apology at the advertising agency earlier that day, but Chandler still hadn't called him or anything. Maybe it was too soon after that kiss last night, but Joey ached to have some kind of reassurance that their friendship was salvageable.
Joey still couldn't understand why he'd kissed Chandler like that. He didn't think that it was just from being slightly drunk and not getting enough sleep lately, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was.
In any case, Joey missed Chandler desperately and couldn't help clinging to him like some needy fool. He had kept this bedroom ready for him for three months, waiting patiently. Waiting even for just a phone call on some weeknight. Just to hear his voice, just to know that Chandler missed him as much and wasn't already becoming best friends with some neighbor in Westchester, phasing Joey out like his old roommate Kip. Sometimes, Joey had dreams that Chandler was actually here, that he came to visit and was staying the night. In those dreams, they'd hang out like in the good old days, watching Baywatch or playing foosball or giving the duck a bath. And sometimes they'd just hug, lingering for many minutes in each other's arms. Those dreams always made him so happy, until he woke up and realized that they weren't real.
If only Chandler was here now. Joey ached to see him again. How long would this rift last? Would he ever really get to move in with Chandler in Westchester, or was that offer revoked now and forever? Joey cried again and didn't know what to do. And for reasons he didn't understand, his thoughts kept going back to that kiss last night.
---
At home, Phoebe got a call from Ross and Rachel, who said that they too weren't able to find out what was wrong with Joey.
Phoebe said, "Wow. Maybe it's something he'll only talk about with Chandler."
"Maybe. You wanna try calling Chandler to talk to Joey?"
"Well, we better wait until tomorrow, since Joey insists on being alone tonight. I'll try to call Chandler, or maybe I'll drop by the advertising agency, since I'm already taking the afternoon off to go see the divorce lawyer."
"Okay. Well, let us know how everything goes."
"Sure. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
The next day, Phoebe went to work at the massage parlor as usual, and had a pretty quiet morning, other than telling her co-workers about her plans to divorce Mike. Monica still hadn't returned her phone call from yesterday, so Phoebe assumed that she was busy with the twins again.
At lunchtime, Phoebe left work and headed for a vegetarian restaurant, so she could have a quick lunch before catching a bus uptown. After her appointment with the lawyer, she intended to go see Chandler and tell him all about Joey's moping. Maybe she'd even offer to go to Westchester for him and help Monica with the twins, so that Chandler could go visit Joey that evening.
As she went over these plans in her head, Phoebe took out her cellphone to check for any messages. Due to her distraction, she accidentally collided with someone in the crowd, which knocked the phone out of her hand.
"Oh no!" She dived down to get the phone before it hit the sidewalk, but bumped heads with the man who had dived for the phone at the same time. "Ow!"
They backed away from each other and rubbed their foreheads while exchanging apologies. But then Phoebe gasped and realized that the stranger who had caught her phone was no stranger at all.
He was none other than David Frink--David, her scientist guy, whom she hadn't seen since Barbados. She couldn't believe it, and David looked stunned as well, as he adjusted the glasses on his face and handed the phone back to her.
