The Anime House Special: President Keitaro

Chapter 3

A very OOC fanfic by SSJ2 PikaFlash, full of Vitamins and Minerals

Disclaimers: As usual, all characters, cast, crew, ideas, blackouts and bashings belong to their respective owners...

Summary: (AU type of fanfic) The Hinata district is one of the most important part of the political structure of Japan, as that one area holds the key to voting who would be the President of Japan.

Note to a certain reviewer named TheRemster: I find your lack of imagination and humor disturbing. Yes, I am not an idiot. I know Japan's Head of State is a Prime Minister and it has an Emperor, but that doesn't mean that I have to make it that way. Why do you think this is called a fanfic in the first place? It doesn't necessary need to follow the logic, physics and politics of the real world. Have you ever thought like "what if Japan becomes a republic after a bloody revolution, even though it may seem inauspicious?" or "what if Japan has a President?" I'm sorry about this enlightening lecture, but its just that sometimes people want things to be so real that its almost like the reality of life itself. Be open minded before you could ever think of giving such a harsh review, which makes me almost absolutely insulted by your behaviour as you haven't even read the fanfic. Besides, did you even notice the word "humor" as the genre? What about "AU" for Alternate Universe? I doubt you know what those words mean.

To other reviewers: Please do not take this lecture as a bad thing. Its just that I don't see a point in giving a review if you don't even read the fanfic.


West Hinata Elementary

Kitsune and Kanako were outside the school.

"Did you make sure the sign was in place?" Kanako asked.

"I did that yesterday afternoon," Kitsune replied.

"Good."

"But, Kanako," Kitsune said. "I think we should tell Keitaro the truth."

Kanako covered Kitsune's mouth. "If Keitaro finds out, then this campaign will be all over and nothing will be gained."


At the entrance to the Cafeteria...

"I now present this Cafeteria sign...open for business."

Keitaro pulled away the cloth covering the sign, revealing the words "Caf..kteria."

(Note: Replace the dots with the certain letters and you know what it means.)


Kanako and Taichi were laughing over the incident at West Hinata Elementary.

"What he didn't know was that I sabotaged the sign when everyone wasn't looking!" Kanako explained.

"Now that's classic!" Taichi cried out as he was rolling on the floor laughing out loud.


Keitaro's campaign

Keitaro was signing a stack of papers with Kanako pre-reading another stack before putting more papers onto Keitaro's stack.

Keitaro's campaign Keitaro's campaign Keitaro's campaign Keitaro's campaign Keitaro's campaign

"Its not necessary for you to read whatever you sign. After all, these are only political propoganda, not some contract. I pre-read each one of those to make sure its meant to do its job."

"Alright."

As Keitaro signed the stack of papers, he did not know that Kanako has altered most of the message, where it says "Don't vote for Keitaro Urashima. A vote for Keitaro is a vote for more taxes and etc."


Keitaro was with a crowd of people at the library.

"We are going to up the benifits for low-income families. We are going to up the benifits for senior citizens. And finally, we are going to up yours."

As Keitaro was counting his policies, he closed his index finger, his pinky, followed by his ring finger, leaving behind his middle finger. By the time Keitaro relised his mistake, it was too late. The press will have a field day on this one.


"Tonight on 'Inside Japan', the famous Hollywood Tama-chan has already got a spot at the Premiere of its very first feature length film. I'm Eriol Hiragizawa. But first up is an update on the race to be President. Keitaro was the owner of an Inn at the district of Hinata. One day, his business was closed down, so, he has decided to run for President to ensure that the Inn will be reopened. Unfortunately, his campaign isn't going too smoothly as the popularity poll indicates that Keitaro has only got 15 percentpopularity, which isn't doing a dent to Taichi's 85 percent Popularity."

Keitaro: 15 percentPopularity

Taichi: 85 percentPopularity


Sarah and Su were walking to the PPP HQ when they met up with Kanako.

"Kanako, where's Keitaro?" Sarah asked.

"Well...Keitaro is "extremely busy" with his campaign to be President," Kanako answered.

"What about my bananas?" Su asked.

"Keitaro is not campaigning for bananas, Su."

Dejected, both Su and Sarah left the PPP HQ...


Keitaro reached home, only to see Sarah, Su, Shinobu and Naru at the couch.

"What's with the faces?" Keitaro asked.

Sarah stood up. "I just want to say that we all feel that you're head is too far into this Presidential Campaign. Have you forgotten about us? The people you work with? Your friends?"

"I'm sorry, but its just that everything has been going wrong in this campaign." A sign was sabotaged. I somehow made an offensive gesture at voters and Kanako has been acting pretty funny these last few weeks..."

"If that is the case, then why aren't you doing something?" Shinobu asked.

"Because...she's the only one I can trust if I am going to save the inn."


At Taichi's mansion, Taichi was on an inflatable chair in his pool while Kanako sits on a bench as Taichi reads the speech.

"Oh Pika. After reading this, I'm beginning to feel sorry for Keitaro."

Kanako looked at Taichi. "Really?"

"Nah! But seriously, wouldn't he object to the contents?"

"He won't. What he has is a very early draft." Kanako explained. "After this thing, becoming the President will be a walk in the park.

"But if he rejects the speech, what do we have?"

"We have the secret about how he became a candidate," Kanako said.


Keitaro was in a suit as Naru and Kitsune were walking to Keitaro's camper van. Sarah, Su and Shinobu were watching from the entrance of the house. Then, Naru looked at them.

"Do you want to join us and support Keitaro?"

Sarah, Su and Shinobu got in at the back of the camper van.

The camper van reached a Pokémon Park. Throughout the whole park, all the crowd could hear were Pikachu callings from the loudspeakers around the park.

Keitaro walked to Kanako.

"Kanako, I think we should have a few changes to the speech."

"Not to worry, I have an updated speech prepared. I'll put it on the table next to this ketchup." Kanako puts the updated speech on the table and takes the draft speech. "I'll be waiting in the corner watching."

Kanako walked off.

"Well, Naru. Wish me luck. Oops..." Keitaro accidently knocked over the bottle of ketchup and a Pikachu quickly jumped on the table and ate the speech. "Crap!"

"Keitaro, if you can't read from the speech, just make one up yourself," Naru said. "I believe in you, Keitaro."

"Yes, Senior," Shinobu added. "Who needs that speech if you can do it yourself. Just have confidence in yourself."

The Pokémon Park Ranger switched off the recording of the Pikachu callings and everyone realised that its time for Keitaro's speech.


Meanwhile, at Taichi's Mansion. Taichi was playing tennis by hitting balls from the ball machine at his tennis court.

Radio: We interrupt this light music program for a speech by Presidential Candidate of the Pudding Political Party, Keitaro Urashima...

Taichi stopped playing and listened.


Keitaro got on stage, with some nervousness, but got a bit of composure.

"Come on. Don't faint, Urashima," Motoko mumbled as Sarah gave an odd stare.

"Kasumi, I bet you 5000 Yen that he won't faint," Eriol mumbled to Kasumi.

"Well...to be honest. My speech was eaten by a Pikachu after I accidently spilt ketchup on it. But it just came to me that I am here for one reason. I am here to be the People's President! A President that would listen to the citizens of this small country. A President with compassion and a heart. Its time for me to show Taichi Yagami that I am not a pushover!"

'Hang on, that wasn't in the speech,' Kanako thought to herself.

Silence. A surprised Sarah started to clapped as she relised that this is Keitaro's first serious speech without fainting. Everyone followed along with their applause. Keitaro looked around, seeing everyone in their underwear. At that instant, Keitaro had a nose bleed and fainted. Everyone quickly went on the stage to check on Keitaro, hoping that it was just the speech that caused it. At the same time, Eriol gave his 5000 Yen to Kasumi.


Meanwhile, an angry Taichi Yagami was driving off on his golf buggy, leaving behind his butler looking at a smashed tennis racket on the net pole. Kanako's plan has backfired.
Keitaro's fully motivated campaign has made a serious impact on Taichi's position in the opinion polls, as Keitaro reopened the West Hinata Elementary Cafeteria with the correct 'Cafeteria'sign.
All of Kanako's efforts have gone down the gutter as all of Keitaro's friends were around supporting him, making it hard to attempt any sabotage.
Meanwhile, Shirai and Haitani were at Taichi's mansion.

"I think its time for you to use some of the 'donations' for your campaign," Shirai said.

Taichi disagreed. "No, I still have an ace up my hole." Then Tai walked to his office and make a phone call on his speaker phone.

"Hello, Mr. President? Yes, its me, Taichi Yagami, your successor."

President of Japan: Yeah, what is it, Yagami?

"Well, I need your wise and well-thought advice to help me in the Presidential Campaign for the Totally Digital Party."

President of Japan: Well, advertise your slogans and policies on TV.

"Using my own money?" Tai asked.

President of Japan: No, use the taxpayers' money.


Taichi's Political Advertisement

Taichi was dressed in a suit while in the streets of Tokyo.

"Hello, I'm Taichi Yagami. The reason why I want to be President is because I want to do it for the good of the people. If it weren't for the Totally Digital Party, we would never have peace with the Digimons." Taichi walked next to a Digimon and gives it a can of beer. "Here you go friend." Taichi faces the camera again. "So you see, if you vote for us, you can enjoy a nice meal with your family." Taichi walks to a barbecue set with some burgers being cook on the grill, in the middle of an empty road intersection. "So, vote for the Totally Digital Party..."

Next: The Final Chapter, who will become the President of Japan?

End of Chapter 3