Her
This was a little idea I had so here it is. And I'm almost done with the next There For You chapter. Enjoy!
The banging of the heavy door against the wall. The shuffle of their feet against the maroon carpet of the boy's dorm room. The crashing of lips. The swish of her robes landing in a heap on the floor. The sound of his glasses toppling off his nose. The sound of buttons pooping off her pale pink blouse as he tore it open. But none of these noises penetrated his senses. All he saw was hair, long, long hair around her shoulders, now bare and pale in the sliver of moonlight streaming in the window. And with the removal of his glasses, all he saw was blurry. He had to rely on his hands for any sense of sight. He held the curves of her waist and the smooth skin of the small of her back. She took his shoulders and kissed his neck making him groan inadvertently. He lifted her quickly and took her to his bed, throwing the curtains around them hastily. His mind almost let in other thoughts as she stripped him of his jeans, but he made the painful image go away. Only the feel of her body against his, only the feel of her chest heaving, only the feel of his tongue with hers could make his mind forget all the bad memories. She was always there when he had memories, when he needed her.
He need only look at her and touch her elbow in the halls. She would follow. He need only get that far-off look in his eyes and she would stand during mealtimes and lead him away. The others knew it. They knew the use they made of the dorm room. But they couldn't help him any better.
Ron watched each time they walked away, without a word to anyone, and he worried. He worried what would happen when she tired of it. She would heed his desires now but how long would it last? She needed more in her life besides a sexual partner. She needed someone to pour her thoughts into, someone to help her with the bad times, and not just the other way around. She could be a rock only so long before she would crumble. And Ron knew it would make his friend crumble too.
Hermione hated seeing her best friend so…desperate. She hated to call him that but he was. She had watched as he'd looked at her one day after it happened. He looked at her and saw more than he'd ever noticed before. But only because he was vulnerable. They rarely talked and Hermione knew it. But what could she do? She couldn't tell him to stop. She couldn't tell her to stop. They were adults. They could do what they wanted, even if it would only end in pain. Each time Hermione watched them walk away, she put her head in her hands and Ron put his hand on her back.
I know Hermione, I know.
These thoughts never crossed his mind. He wouldn't let them. If anything negative began to creep into his brain about what a bad idea the relationship was, he just thought about his bed, with her in it, and the thought melted away. He needed her. It was all that kept him going right now. She did what he asked with nothing in return. Exactly as he wanted. He couldn't give her what he'd given her. He didn't have the strength to. She had meant everything to him. She had been on his mind almost as much as his fate when they'd been together. But fate and she collided one day. The image of her lying there, facedown, and the blood…he would never forget it. But lying on her, gasping, feeling her body move under him, it made it go away. Feeling her, kissing her, making love to her made it go away. But when they stopped…
She didn't know why she was doing it. The first time she'd seen him, she'd thought him nice looking, deeming him strong and kind. But to continue in such a one-sided relationship…she didn't understand it anymore than anyone else. There was something about him she had to save. She had to help this poor man…she had to take his pain away. For the time being it was helping. She knew it was beginning to stop though. His willingness to give himself to her, to take her each day, was starting to ebb. She was breaking into his mind more and more. He'd slipped up a few times and said her name as he made love to her. It hurt her too. It hurt her to know she was nothing more to him than a lover. She'd gotten to know him as they worked together that year and started to have feelings. No one noticed of course but she felt it. But she was around. He was falling for her. And then that day came and he couldn't look at her anymore. And she was there. She was ready. She was willing to do what he wanted, only to be with him finally. But he didn't care for her, not in that way at least. And he never would. He only thought of her.
And now they lay together, breathing heavily, their sweat mingling together on their bodies. He looked down at her in the dark and kissed her head. Thank you, he said. She looked up to his eyes, and knew he had some feeling for her. That was the only thing that she could grasp onto. He did need her and he did appreciate what she did. But what he said to her, cut her deep, deep in her heart.
"I love you, Luna," Harry whispered. But she knew he was lying through his teeth. All he thought about, all he saw when he looked at her, and all he imagined when they slept together was Ginny.
