No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or inferred. Copyright belongs to others and no infringement is intended.
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Hochstetter paced the confines of Klink's office as he waited impatiently for the Luftwaffe Colonel to open the safe. Several shots of brandy and a good night's sleep had taken care of most of the aches left from the car accident. "Come, Klink. Hurry with that lock. I want some time to study that code book before my aide gets here with my car to take me to Berlin."
Klink continued to play with the tumblers. "I'm doing the best I can, Major Hochstetter." Klink finally managed the lock and sighed his relief when the door opened easily. He pulled out the code book, closed the door and spun the combination, then stood up and gave the book the Hochstetter. "Very lucky that there was no real fire last night, eh?" he asked, going back around his desk. "I think Colonel Hogan must have been right—everything all closed up like that, no ventilation… it must have caused some kind of chemical reaction in the armory hut."
"Possibly." Hochstetter grudgingly agreed with Klink. "I suggest, however, that you check it out most thoroughly and make certain it does not happen again." He frowned and sniffed at the air. "I smell smoke in here, yet the wind blows from here toward the armory. Strange, is it not, Klink?" The Gestapo Major went back to pacing as Klink took refuge behind his desk. Lost in his thoughts, Hochstetter didn't notice as the Colonel absentmindedly straightened up a few things on his desk. "Something happened last night. What, I do not know."
"Yes, yes, of course, of course, Major." Klink waited expectantly for Hochstetter to leave his office. Where was that driver?
"I will take this book back to Berlin, and I believe we'll find it gives us a great deal of insight into our enemy's way of thinking." Hochstetter tapped the book softly on his hand. "Of course, they may know it has fallen into our hands and not be using it any longer. However, at the very least it will slow them down a little while they try to distribute the new code."
The phone on Klink's desk rang. "Colonel Klink speaking." Klink immediately picked up the receiver, glad for any respite from the Gestapo officer whose mere presence made him so nervous. "Von Karterheim? I don't know any General von Karterheim." Hochstetter paused to listen. "Oh, Major Hochstetter," he said, nodding. "Yes, yes, very well, if you have seen his papers then let him in!" Klink hung up. "There's a General von Karterheim from Berlin here to see you, Major Hochstetter."
Hochstetter unconsciously tugged at his uniform to straighten it as he turned to face the door. "Well, we shall see what he wants."
Little time passed before Hilda knocked on Klink's door. "A General von Karterheim to see Major Hochstetter, Kommandant," she said.
"Show him in," Klink said in his most formal voice.
A man in the uniform of an Abwehr General strolled into the office, giving Hilda an appreciative glance over the top of his pince-nez spectacles as she closed the door. "Good morning, Colonel, Major." His eyes flicked from Klink to Hochstetter, then back to the Kommandant as he acknowledged their salutes with a careless wave of his hand.
Klink immediately came around the desk to offer von Karterheim a close up greeting. "General von Karterheim, how very nice to meet you, sir! I don't believe I've ever had the pleasure before to—"
"Klink," interrupted the visitor—a calm, disinterested trouncing. "Do not grovel." He glanced at Hochstetter and explained, "I hate how they always grovel." He moved in to inspect Hochstetter at close range. "The Abwehr is aware of a certain book that came into this camp recently, Major Hochstetter. We need to examine it before you bring it back to Berlin."
Hochstetter looked up at the General, taking a moment to consider the implications of anything he might say. The way the General spoke was most unnerving; unlike Hochstetter, when this man spoke he barely moved his jaws. Because of this, whatever he said sounded clipped—and menacing. "Is there a problem, Herr General? I have a car coming to pick me up shortly, and I will have the book safely in Berlin within a few hours."
"I am sure the Gestapo thinks many things are 'safe,' Major," said von Karterheim. "However the Abwehr has its own meaning for that word, so I wish to study the book myself and give a report to my superiors before you travel with it. You should have reported it to us yesterday, Major, instead of us having to find out about it… in other ways."
Paling slightly, Hochstetter put on his best ingratiating smile and held out the code book. "Of course, Herr General, you are correct. An oversight on my part."
Von Karterheim smirked, just a small curve to the edge of his lips that accompanied a light snort. "Of course it was," he answered with more than a touch of arrogance. He pointed to the item in Hochstetter's hand. "Is that the code book, Major?"
Klink stood at his desk, carefully hiding his delight at seeing the overbearing Major being on the receiving end of a dressing-down for once. It would be a memory to treasure, provided he didn't become a target himself.
"Ja, Herr General, this is the book."
"And you have it out of the safe before someone comes to drive you out of camp?" von Karterheim tutted. "You take chances with the Fatherland, Major Hochstetter. Berlin would not be pleased." He held out his hand. "I will take it now."
Even paler now, Hochstetter carefully placed the book into the General's hand. Tiny beads of sweat broke out on his forehead as he fought to keep his hand from trembling.
The Abwehr General turned to Klink. "You will find me a place to study this in private. I will then send my report to my superiors before you leave with it, Major. At least we know it will have reached my office safely."
Klink blustered forward to offer his quarters for use by the General. Von Karterheim nodded. "That will do, Klink." He turned to Hochstetter. "Tell me, Major, has anyone else in this camp seen this book?"
Hochstetter considered. "No, Herr General," he replied.
Klink spoke up quickly. "Oh, that's not quite right, Major! Don't you remember? You showed it off to Colonel Hogan yesterday."
Hochstetter scowled.
"Colonel Hogan?" von Karterheim repeated. "Who is this man?"
"He is the senior Prisoner of War officer here, General," Klink replied.
Von Karterheim shook his head. "You often share military secrets with prisoners, Major Hochstetter?" he asked, amused.
"Of course not, Herr General," Hochstetter answered with a glare in Klink's direction. "Hogan was in the office when the code book was taken out of the safe, and was able to see what it was. I concluded that his knowing about it could only damage his morale, General."
"At last, evidence of military strategy," von Karterheim said condescendingly, nodding. "I want to see this Colonel Hogan. Bring him to your quarters, Klink. Then leave me alone until I call for you."
"Herr General." Hochstetter frowned as he spoke. "This Colonel Hogan is the most dangerous man in all of Germany. It would not be safe for you to be alone with him. May I suggest you question him here instead?"
Von Karterheim snorted in disdain. "Are you suggesting that I cannot handle one unarmed prisoner, Major Hochstetter? Surely your own weakness cannot be passed on to me so quickly." He turned to Klink. "Show me to your quarters," he said.
Klink bellowed for Schultz, who turned up almost immediately. "Jawohl, Herr Kommandant."
"Take General von Karterheim to my quarters, then get Colonel Hogan and bring him there."
"Jawohl! Herr Kommandant."
"That will do nicely, Klink." Von Karterheim paused. "Klink…" he pondered. "Klink… I am sure I have heard that name before…."
"Maybe in an efficiency report, Herr General?" Klink suggested hopefully.
"No," von Karterheim said immediately. "No, your name had nothing to do with efficiency." He waved a hand as though to clear the air. "Never mind. Leave me to my work. Then bring me this Hogan. I will take great pleasure in showing him everything that he will never use."
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"Looks like you're going to get in the easy way, Colonel," Kinch remarked as the group listened in on the coffee pot in Hogan's office.
Hogan nodded. "That's good; I wasn't looking forward to pushing around that hot stove."
"Gives a whole different meaning to the phrase 'hot little hands,' doesn't it?" Newkirk quipped.
Hogan shook his head. "I'd better get ready. Gotta make myself presentable if I'm going to see a Kraut General as arrogant as von Karterheim."
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General von Karterheim was sitting on the sofa in Klink's quarters when Sergeant Schultz brought Colonel Hogan in. The General had his feet up on the table, leafing through the code book, not bothering to look up when the pair entered. "Leave us," he said, obviously addressing Schultz.
Hogan frowned and started his protest. "Wait, Schultz." He turned to von Karterheim. "I have nothing to say to you, General."
Von Karterheim looked up from the book and raised an eyebrow. "But I may have some things to say to you, Colonel Hogan." He nodded at Schultz. "You may leave, Sergeant."
"Jawohl, Herr General." Schultz let off a sharp salute and left quickly, anxious to be away from Hogan's temper when mixing with German Generals.
The door closed, leaving the two Americans alone. "Have you got it?" Hogan asked eagerly.
"Boy, do I ever!" Carter jumped up with a grin, nearly tripping over the coffee table in his eagerness to give the book to Hogan. "Yes, sir! You should have seen the way old Hochstetter backed down when I got onto him!"
Hogan smiled at the young man's enthusiasm. "It sounded great. He'll be looking over his shoulder for a month. We'd better get these pictures taken. We've had enough trouble with this. Got your camera?"
"Right here." Carter pulled out the small camera he had hidden inside one of his pockets.
Hogan opened the book on the table and held open the pages while Carter snapped away. Hogan's eyes scanned the words eagerly, drinking in as many words as he could manage, knowing it was unnecessary but memorizing it out of habit. A twinge of regret surged through him, reminding him that if things had gone differently a couple of nights ago, this whole scenario could have been avoided. But he pushed that thought out of his mind and told himself that in the end, it would work to their advantage.
"That's great," Hogan said as Carter finished. "I'll take the camera back with me and get Kinch started on developing the film."
"Okay." Carter handed Hogan the tiny camera. Hogan turned to leave. "Oh—Colonel?"
Hogan turned back, concerned at the question in the Sergeant's voice. "Yeah, Carter?"
One side of Carter's mouth slid up into a grin. "Could you take a picture of me in uniform? I kinda like General von Karterheim."
Hogan's eyes smiled. "Maybe next time, Carter. This is a modest war." As he was about to put his hand on the doorknob, he heard footsteps approaching. He turned to Carter, who immediately resumed his von Karterheim persona, and took a step back himself. "Well, I don't care what you say, General, I don't have to stand here and take this humiliation!" Hogan spouted. As he finished speaking, the door opened and Klink and Hochstetter came in.
General von Karterheim raised an eyebrow. "I don't recall sending for you, gentlemen," he said.
Klink laughed nervously. "Herr General, we just thought you might like to know that the Major's car has arrived…"
"If I wanted to know that I would have asked to be informed." The General gestured toward Hogan. "A very spirited young man," he said. "Very disrespectful of German officers."
"Hogannnn…" started Klink. Hogan just shrugged his shoulders.
"I like it," von Karterheim continued. "It shows his courage. And in your case, gentlemen, it might also show his intelligence."
Hogan grinned widely. "I take it back, General," he said; "I think I can stand here and listen to a bit more of this."
"Get out!" burst Hochstetter finally.
Hogan stole a fast glance back at Carter, who nodded regally, then he shot off a quick salute and hotfooted it back to Barracks Two.
