Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING...like you ever thought I did anyway...
AN: sorry it took so long for this chapter to come out, I know that I suck at updating but I was finishing up exams at school and all...well here's the next chapter...Finally
Chapter4
At first, Draco didn't recognize where he was, but after a quick rub to his eyes he took in his surroundings for what they were. He was lying in the infirmary. As his senses slowly flowed back to him he realized not only was he in the infirmary but he was not alone, next to him sitting in a chair with his head resting on the bed was Harry Potter. Not only was Harry Potter there but he was there holding his hand, yes gently almost sweetly holding his hand. Why in all the world would that boy be touching him in any comforting way.
Only moments later did Draco decide that he didn't want the answer to that question. Memories from the previous night ambushed him. His entire break down replaying in his head. 'Fuck' he thought the only time I ever break down in front of someone else, it just had to be Harry Potter, could this get any worse? He had made a complete and utter fool of himself, bearing his secrets and making himself vulnerable. Contradicting everything he should be, everything he was taught, everything Malfoy.
He knew it had been coming and that it was only so long, he had been through to much and he hit his peak, there were to many secrets and horrors that happened to him and he couldn't keep a face on any more, but he never wanted to have a witness to his self collapse, he wanted to have a break down alone and pretend that it never happened the next day. Just like always Harry-bloody-Potter had to step in and ruin all his well laid plans.
A slight stir of the sheets next to him broke him away from his thoughts, leaving him staring into two dark emerald eyes that were full of concern and a little bit of confusion.
"You're awake." Draco released a breath he wasn't aware that he was holding.
"Yeah, Im awake" He replied instead of his usual snarky reply about him stating the obvious. An uncomfortable silce stretched between the two, until Harry finally spoke.
"Are you feeling any better?" a simple question, that brought about many complicated answers and feelings. For a while Draco just stared at the other boy debating over that question how he wanted to feel and how he actually felt and before he could stop himself words were coming from his mouth.
"I...I feel...numb" Draco's eyes were blank, devoid of all and any emotion, voice steady and monotone. Harry had never heard the other boy sound so unsure of himself or what he was saying. Though he didn't say anything he just let the other boy continue. And Draco couldn't help himself but talk away everything that what bothering him, haunting him. He needed to talk and for someone to listen for someone even for a moment to at least pretended they cared. And here this person had already seen him break and fall apart, and it was as if that made it okay to tell him.
"He..He let them have me one after another. I was a gift, an object. No humanity. No feelings...It was my punishment for disobeying."
Harry was taken aback, the outpouring of emotion and confessions was not what he was expecting, but he sat and listened has Draco spilled his heart and soul seemingly free of all emotion. He had a million questions fighting to get out but he held them at bay not wanting to scare Draco into running away from him.
"He kept me there, prisoner in my own home. Treated me as nothing more than a whore. Just enough food and water to survive and stay relatively healthy." Draco blank gaze was trained forward as these words seem to carelessly pour from his mouth. "I was given clothes because he said that they like to unwrap their toys."
A stray tear slowly fell from his eye, traveled down his cheek, but before it splashed off to the floor he felt a caress to his face wiping his only tear away. Draco turned his face from the other boy, ashamed. Only to feel Harry's hand on his cheek turning his face to meet the other boys eyes. Draco only looked down at his hands avoiding the other boys piercing stare, he noticed his hands were shaking. What was happening to him? Then he realized Harry was speaking to him.
"...In front of me." He heard Harry finish.
"Hmmm?" Draco mumbled almost completely missing what Harry had said.
" It's alright to cry in front of me I wont say anything or laugh at you" He noted the reassurance that was laced in Harry's voice.
"Why? Why should it be okay now after six years of loathing, why is it okay now?" Draco asked eyes still firmly fixed on his hands. And there was a small pause and he thought finally he has remembered that we aren't supposed to get along he remembers the taunts and names and...
"Why?" Harry echoed his question "Why not? Why can't it just be okay, because we say so? Why can't we realize that we don't have to have some big confession of our reasons and motives and talk of our immaturity of the past six years and work in the here and now, the present, and for this moment in time when your feeling ...uh ...hmm... lets say a little less than perfect, that we grow up and mature as no one expects us to and be a tad bit more than civilized to one another. You show some humanity and I'll show a little compassion." Harry finished, a small amount of determination in his voice.
Draco finally managed to look up into Harry's eyes and was glad not to find pity, just compassion just like he said. Another tear dripped down his cheek as he started to talk again.
"You don't understand, nobody understands, they can't, they didn't have my father." His voice was gaining a little strength " I couldn't cry, I had to be there and take it like a man. Take it like a Malfoy. I couldn't break, it would be giving them everything they wanted and I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction."
Draco let out a harsh humorless laugh. "I don't even know why I'm telling this to you. You of all people, a gryffindor, my supposed enemy, Harry bloody Potter." Draco averted his eyes back to his hands. "And now im telling you all these vulgar details of how low and dirty I really am. You probably don't even care" He trailed off in a low whisper.
With out realizing his own action, Harry raised his hand to Draco's cheek, turning the other boys face and catching his gaze. "I ... I care." When Draco heard those words he remembered Harry uttering the same words from the night before. Emotion surged through The blonde as he breathlessly sobbed out "You do care" and buried his face into his hands.
Harry hesitantly reached for Draco to try and comfort him, but he just flinched away. Not to get discouraged Harry leaned towards Draco and softly spoke "let me help."
Draco paused as though measuring Harry's words and then slowly nodded his agreement. Not sure what he was really doing or why, Harry climbed onto the bed and tentatively gathered the other boy into his arms.
Draco instantly stiffened in the other boys arms. Harry thinking that he had pushed to far went to pull his arms back.
"Wait" The blonde said, and Harry froze leaving his arms around the other boy. He gave the boy in his arms a studying look and saw his shy eyes and his pale cheeks tinted pink in embarrassment, Harry knew he wouldn't make him ask, wouldn't make his pride suffer any more. Harry just settled his arms around him again and felt Draco relax into the embrace. To Harry's surprise the other boy snuggled his face into the warm body like he was seeking some physical attention. Who ever thought that Draco Malfoy likes to cuddle, Harry thought, smiling to himself. I can't believe this, just a few days ago he would have hexed me as quickly as looking at me, what's happening? Harry was lost in his own thoughts until Draco's voice pulled him out of his reflection.
"I can't believe I've done this, not once but twice in front of you, you, Harry Potter. And a gryffindor at that, your probably the last person I should be telling any of this to." The sleepy voice was muffled in Harry's shirt, his grip on Harry tight.
Suddenly Draco jerked back, a cold look in his eyes which startled Harry.
"Potter, I swear if you tell anyone, I mean anyone, about any thing I said or did you wont even have time to regret your decision."
Harry turned and offered Draco a genuine, reassuring smile.
"Tell who, what? Really Malfoy what are you talking about" Harry feigned innocense.
"Exactly Potter, nothing happened, nothing changed" He finished, sounding a bit put off, and Harry noticed.
"Well, I wouldn't say nothings changed" The gryffindor said extending his hand to Draco. The blonde just narrowed his eyes looking between Harry's face and extended hand.
"This just isn't out of pity, is it? Not gryffindor nobility to befriend those that are weaker. Because I am not weaker, its just about ten or eleven years of emotions and feelings all at once." Draco finished his tirade and saw Harry was still smiling and his hand was still extended.
"Definitely not pity Malfoy" was all Harry said. At those words Draco relaxed, his face softened and he took Harry's hand.
"Alright then Potter, as long as it's not pity...oh and this is definitely a gryffindor thing, if this was in slytherin I would have been eaten alive and spit out."
"Well good thing it was me and not a slytherin." Harry responded with a smile. Draco saw the gryffindor's face light up with that smile and couldn't stop himself from smiling back and saying,
"Yeah, I'm glad it was you."
Harry saw Draco smile and couldn't Believe the difference that it made on the slytherin, the smile brightened his face, softened his sharp features and showed a unique beauty. Wait a second, back to that thought, did I just think Malfoy was beautiful, no...no I, I am going to obliviate myself my self to forget I ever thought that, He's Malfoy, granted a very hot, sculpted and chiseled Malfoy, but still Malfoy and a slytherin at that...this can not be good...
Harry was so lost in his rambling thoughts he didn't notice Draco trying to get his attention.
"Potter, hello earth to Potter"Draco called. Fed up, Draco gave the other boy a push on the shoulder, scaring Harry out of his thoughts, causing him to jump, sending him backwards and having to release Draco to grab onto the bed from preventing a fall onto the floor.
Draco felt Harry let go of him and lurch backwards, waiting for the inevitable pain to come from their separation. But the pain never came, he was stunned, Harry on the other hand seemed oblivious to everything just complained about Draco scaring him and almost falling off the bed.
"Hey Potter stop complaining for two seconds." Harry shut up and stared at Draco. "Don't you notice anything that's not happening?"
Harry just looked confused for a few seconds until he understood. The pain, there was no pain, he wasn't touching Draco at all and there was no pain. Harry smiled and Draco smirked back.
"Let's see how far apart we can get with out tumbling over in pain."
Draco grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him away from the bed. They stood facing each other, eye level, still holding hands, Harry could feel the other boys breath ghosting his face they were standing so close together. Harry looked Draco in the eye and then his gaze traveled to the blondes lips, they were full pink lips slightly parted, Harry caught Draco's pink tongue swipe over the parted lips and gulped as his heart rate picked up. Harry raised his eyes to Draco's once again and blushed when he saw the slytherin looking at him.
Don't blush, don't blush Harry chastised himself, when he was composed Harry asked "ready?"
Draco just nodded. Slowly they let go of each others hands, when nothing happened they started taking very small steps away from each other. They were about five inches apart when they felt the pain start.
The two boys ran back towards each other, before the pain could escalate. Harry grabbed onto Draco's upper arms pulling the other boy flush up against his chest, while Draco's arms wrapped around Harry's body, his head resting on the gryffindor's shoulder.
They spent a few seconds before pulling slightly away from each other, Harry still grasping Draco's arms while the blondes arms were wrapped around him.
The just looked at each other for what seemed like and eternity, lips parted panting little gusts of air from the slight exertion, faces merely inches apart.
Neither said any thing, but they were being drawn together by and invisible source, slowly they were moving in, there eyes lids growing heavy and dropping...
"What's going on here?" Madame Pomfrey's voice broke whatever spell there was at the moment the two boys instantly pulled back there eyes popping open and arms dropping their holds on each other. "Well?" They heard Madame Pomfrey reiterate her question.
Draco came to the rescue telling her what had happened about being able to not touch and how they were just trying to see how far apart they could actually get with out pain.
"Do you know why?" She asked
"Why? Why what?" Harry asked confused
"Why you can suddenly stand to not be touching?" she said slightly irritated
"Uh...um ...no, not really." Harry answered sort of confused at the situation himself.
"Well since no one is hurt and you seem to actually be getting better, once I see that everything is okay you are free to leave and head off to where ever you are supposed to be at this time."
Madame Pomfrey gave Draco a once over and repeatedly asked him if he was alright from last nights events, recommending more than once that he should speak with an adult, after insisting that he was fine and yes he would speak to someone she let them escape the infirmary.
Once outside the doors they walked in companionable silence.
"Po...Harry" Draco called. Harry turned not realizing how close he was to draco and ending up as close as they had been before, his heart beat picking up again.
"Yes" he whispered his answer, knowing he was so close to Draco that he would hear him.
Draco averted his eyes wringing his hands, he took a deep breath and looked Harry in the eye.
"I...um...just wanted to say...that...um...Thank you." He rushed out in a quick breath, then standing up on his tip toes to place a light kiss on Harry's cheek.
Harry looked at Draco in alight shock as the other boys turned his face away and blushed.
"You're welcome." Was all Harry said, then in the spur of the moment he reached his hand out and slipped it into Draco's, who just looked back with a slight smile.
The two walked in silence, both with big goofy grins on their faces, until they stood outside the doors to the great hall. Harry saw Draco's smile falter as he hesitated.
"What's wrong?" Harry asked
"I don't want to sit with gryffindor table today, I would really like to sit a slytherin." Draco said firmly, but Harry could hear the nervousness in his voice as he recalled what had happened the last time.
"If it will make you stop pouting then I will suffer my lunch at the slytherin table." Harry said, amusement clear through his words and in his eyes.
Draco just nodded his head, and Harry went to let go of his hand, but Draco held on tight.
"We can't go in there holding hands Malfoy."
"Draco."
"What?"
"My name is Draco, not Malfoy, when we're alone call me Draco, and I know that we can't waltz in there holding hands but if we go in not touching everyone will know that we don't have to touch and then I lose my privilege to touch you in the hallway whenever I want."
Harry just laughed softly, trying to quell any sort of blushing and nodded his head. Draco slid his hand to Harry's wrist, it was less affectionate but they still got to touch.
They opened the great hall doors both putting on there respective masks of how they were supposed to feel about this situation and headed through the doors.
The last thought on both of there minds before they sat to eat was...
'What the hell am I doing?'
AN: again I wanted to say sorry for how long this took me to update I've had a lot of crap going on...thank you for being patient and I really hope you enjoy.
Thank you so much to everyone that has reviewed, I love hearing what you have to say about my story.
Please, oh please review, it makes me happy and motivates me to write...
