Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.


CHAPTER SEVEN – Animagi and Mummy

Hermione had some of her hair pulled back. Not all of it, she only had the one clip at the moment. She perched high on a stool and placed on some reading spectacles that barely hung on the tip of her nose. Crossing her tan well-defined legs she was wearing a particularly short skirt, while Harry, Ron, and Ginny all sat Indian-style on the floor around her.

Harry couldn't help but notice Hermione really could pull off the sexy librarian thing if she tried. Harry was silently applauding Ron's ability to convince Hermione that certain conditions needed to be met if Ron was going to be capable of paying attention or perhaps even learning something new. Even Ginny seemed more alert and hungry for knowledge. Looking at her you would swear this room must be freezing cold. Perhaps she has a bit of unresolved tension she needs to work through. Harry thought he and the five proper Weasley brothers should have a nice chat with Dean real soon.

Hermione began, "The art of the animagus transformation is not for everybody. It has a completely variable amount of time to achieve. It is also completely variable on whether the transformation is possible for any given person. Genetics and blood have nothing to do with it."

Harry thought Hermione was driving the pro-muggleborn point of view into the ground but said nothing aloud.

"The ability to change into another form is entirely dependent on the very soul, essence, and magic of a being. At that level, you are not even human. You merely are and you exist. Now if you are capable of being at home and comfortable in another form, then you are as much that form as you are human. Sirius was every bit as much a big black dog, as he was a Caucasian wizard. Some beings are completely unable to be comfortable in another form and cannot achieve the transformation. Even others have the capability, but they never can accept their form as part of their existence and who they are. I believe this is why it took Pettigrew quite a while longer to accept he was a rat, than it took Prongs and Padfoot to achieve their transformations. We can only hope that all four of us at least have the ability."

Harry figured if it was so spectacularly convenient that the other three Marauders all seemed to have this ability and were able to achieve it, then it would seem pretty likely to be spectacularly convenient again and for his luck on this one to hold out as well.

"First you will drink the animagi potion and connect with yourself in a deeper and more intimate way than you ever have before."

Ron was thinking of the very real, quantitative difference between four fingers and a proper fist.

"Here you will discover if you have an animagi form. Now there is no reason known for it to be impossible to have more than one form, just historically, no one ever with more than one form has been discovered. Or perhaps revealed him or herself. The same is true for magical animagi. Though there have been many rumors about that one. The general consensus is that someone especially strong and connected with magic, would have the same connection in the form of a magical creature. But the idea that it is the only extremely powerful ones, means it's kind of hard to force them to admit it. Most people treat their forms as something intensely personal, as it is a direct reflection on the sort of person they are." Hermione was already in deep reflection about writing a paper theorizing transgender surgeries could be completely abolished with some proper animagi training.

During this it seemed they were all watching Harry. They put the odds at about 50-50 whether Harry would go against convention here. More likely the magical form they assumed. Harry was getting used to this and pretended to be ignoring their stares.

Harry finally cracked and said "Alright alright. Let's take the potion and see just what we are."

The four then simultaneously downed the vial concoction Cissy had brewed. Ginny was particularly disturbed drinking it thinking about the concept of momjuice.

Thirty minutes later they all seemed to be returning to the waking world slowly. Groans and mumbles were said as crust was harvested from their eyes and they all readjusted. Once they remembered what happened they all got happy eager smiles. Well except Harry, who looked a bit put out by the whole situation.

Ginny started by poking her brother. "So Ron….what the heck are you?"

Ron got a big smile and just said "I'm a goat! No ruddy clue why but I'm a goat! How bout you, Gin?"

Ginny's cheeks seemed rosier and she seemed extremely pleased with herself. "I am a fox."

Ron was quite happy for her, though the implications of the form had him a bit worried for his baby sister's chastity.

Ron, in his true movement towards kindness and maturity yelled out "How bout it Herms? Is a bookworm a real creature?"

She gave him a nasty glare and had a suspicious look on her face. "I happen to be a tabby cat. To be honest, I'd swear my form is Professor McGonagall's form." She finished looking less angry and more pensive.

Ron and Ginny seemed to find this incredibly fitting and could only laugh their heads off. After gathering themselves, and realizing Hermione was off thinking in her own world, they both noticed the resigned and frustrated look on Harry's face.

Ginny could read him pretty well and spoke up. "I can tell you're not heartbroken, so I know you saw something Harry. So it's true you can have a magical form."

Harry let out an affirmative grunt from his muffled face as his head was now resting in his hands.

Ron piqued up, "So is it also true you can have more than one form too?"

Harry seemed let out a terribly pitiful little affirmative moan.

Hermione by now had snapped to attention and wanted to know everything. "So Harry, come on, what are you?"

Harry knew he couldn't avoid this, so he started by trying to explain it. "Yes. I know. I've got two magical forms. I'm pretty sure I was only born with one though. I think Riddle passed me his form when he cursed me as a baby. Because I'm not sure how happy I'd be with a fricking 40-foot basilisk as my usual transformation."

Hermione and Ron gasped at this, and Ginny went pale. And then she blushed. And then she went pale again. Harry was thinking Ginny might need a chat too.

Ron spoke up here "Bloody hell mate. That's huge! I cannot imagine you ever being that massive. You'll always be scrawny to me mate. So whats the other form? Some other massive dangerous beast?"

Harry adopted a very pleased smile. "Nope, my other form is a bit on the other end of the spectrum in terms of size." Harry here felt like a dramatic pause was in order and decided to keep his secret for another few moments.

Hermione it seems is not the most patient person in the world. "Spit it out Potter before I hex you!"

Harry smiled even wider and said "I'm a snidget."

Ron felt this allowed the entire universe to make so much more sense. It's like the secret to life was just whispered in his ear. All his friends were smiling and laughing at the thought of their ridiculously powerful friend as an itty bitty tiny flying birdie.

Hermione smiled. "That makes a lot of sense actually. Certainly explains the flying ability, the connection to quidditch, the so-called ministry protection, the desire to be left alone."

Ron still needed some practice on the whole thinking before speaking part and added his two cents "Almost hunted to extinction." His contribution was rewarded with a smack to the back of his noggin compliments of his little sister.

Harry was unfazed and felt like he was already more snidget than he was human. He wasn't sure if he would be able to accept being a basilisk, but he did realize that creatures are not inherently evil and he could be everyone's favorite happy nice neighborhood basilisk.

Harry got his evil scary grin back and said "And don't forget pranking purposes. I mean, honestly, who's gonna catch me?"


The next morning, Tonks decided she wasn't going to let Harry take Cissy by himself to Malfoy Manor. Not considering Draco had just been released and cleared of being a Death Eater. Though from what Shack said it was a close one.

Harry wasn't about to deny his scrumptious vixen Nymphie and the idea of an extra auror presence might be necessary depending on how Cissy's Drakey-poo responded. Harry would almost be a little disappointed if there wasn't any hexing. The three of them arrived at Malfoy Manor and found it to be very quiet. A little too quiet. No one was responding to their calls throughout the home, until Harry ventured into the dining area. It appeared Draco was resting his face in a piece of toast that had butter and jam on it. In his right hand was the newspaper from a couple of days ago. Apparently, while being detained by the aurors, they neglected to inform him that the Dark Lord had been defeated and the idea of a goody two-shoes Gryffindor brat actually defeating the great and powerful Dark Lord didn't sit well with the young man. Or at least didn't sit well with the majority of the synapses in his feeble little mind. More than likely, Cissy's Drakey-poo merely read the headline, fainted, and has been swimming in strawberry Smuckers since.

Tonks led Cissy away and left Harry to awaken and explain the situation to Draco. Harry thought it would be prudent to take Draco's wand now, before he presents any threat. But he figured leaving him his wand might end up being much more fun. Harry cast an Ennervate on him and waited for Draco.

Draco woke up and started to look around and spotted The Boy-Who-Lived right in front of him. "Potter! What are you doing here? Afraid the Dark Lord is going to kill you and trying to hide like the scared little orphan you are! Not so brave without the Weasel and mudblood are you!"

Harry shook his head. 'I swear that speech has some macro in his brain that just turns it on automatically when he sees me.' Harry sighed and said "Look at the paper in your hand ferretface."

Draco kept his lion face on and looked at the paper in his hand. 'Aww crap.' His lemon face came right to the forefront.

"Hey Malfoy, do you practice those faces you're making?"

Draco regained some of his undeserving self confidence. "Silly halfblood has no idea what classes you take growing up pureblood. For your information, drama, ballet, and trampoline every proper young wizard masters before they ever go to Hogwarts. Fool."

"So that really was your lion face and lemon face? Wow Draco. I learn something new about you everyday." Harry then mumbled to himself "And quite a few things I'd be a better man not knowing."

"Why are you here Potter anyway? Come to gloat? Well come back later. My mummy's not here so I cannot play with you even if I wanted to." Draco said snidely without thinking before adding, "Not that I'd ever want to play with you, filthy useless mugglewuvver."

'Mugglewuvver?' Harry thought. "Well actually it is your Mummy I wanted to talk about."

Draco got a truly frightened look on his face before becoming enraged "What have you done?"

"Whoa! Down boy! You were unconscious when I got here and I could have done anything to you, but I didn't. I even left you with your wand. I'm just here to explain some things to you."

Draco started to get worried and scared now. "Where's my mummy? I miss my mummy!"

"She's alright Draco. Easy. There was just a sort of accident, and well, I'm not quite sure how to put this." Harry got a little worried look on his face, and then got a devious idea. "Okay Draco, first, I assume you've been told about the birds and the bees?"

"What! Oh dear Merlin, Noooooooo!" Draco jumped up, freaked out, and pulled his wand at Harry.

Harry was laughing and trying to calm the enraged little git. "Stop! Stop! I was just joking! It's not what you think."

Draco relaxed for a second and calmed. "Phew. For a second there I thought you'd bonded my mom to you as a personal house elf."

Harry's eyebrows jumped at this. "Hmm, crap. Well I guess it is what you think."

Draco started to tear up and wailed "I want my mummy!"

At this point you could hear some shuffling in the next room and a high-pitched voice yell "Cissy loves Cissy's Drakey-poo!"

"Mummy!" and with that Draco jumped up with tears dripping down his face and ran into the next room.

A lot of wailing and tears and hugs and perhaps something that looked completely inappropriate followed. Tonks thought this should be a Mother-Son moment and went into the kitchen to join Harry.

"Well that was easier than I thought it would be," the pink-haired auror said.

Harry nodded a little frustrated. "Yeah. Cheeky little bugger never even tried to hex me."

When the wailing seemed to stop, Harry and Tonks decided to peek into the next room and see how they were doing. It was almost cute seeing the smile on the contented asleep little git's face as he murmured and sucked his thumb in his mummy's lap. Harry realized he was going to have to make peace with Draco, since he couldn't abandon Cissy, and Cissy and Draco needed each other. 'What a bunch of crap. First Voldie, then Fudge, then Snape and now Draco! We're not going to have anyone to prank if this keeps up!'

Cissy, Tonks, and Harry gathered together some of the things Cissy wanted to take with her, as well as some of the things she knew Cissy's Drakey-poo would need, and they packed up all the stuff and headed back to Grimmauld Place. Cissy seemed a lot stronger than they thought as she managed to carry Draco the whole way. Maybe it was a gentle mother's touch, but he slept through the trip back and was set up on Trixie's old bed in Cissy and Trixie's old room.

Harry was pondering how best to handle this new situation and was starting to realize just how difficult the Headmaster's life was. 'Why the heck does this stuff always happen to me?' Harry started as he almost swore he could hear the sky laughing. And he was pretty dang sure it wasn't laughing with him. 'Cheeky sky.'


It was one of those moments that cannot be explained. Harry had a brief moment of that rare occurrence we usually like to call insight. He even would be willing to call it an idea. It seemed so obvious. Cissy needs to stay near Harry and Draco, so she would need to be at Hogwarts. And with a parting thanks and a kick in the arse Snivellus was gone from Hogwarts. Now we need someone good in Potions, and ideally a former Slytherin who can take up both the Potions Professorship and Slytherin Head of the House position as well. And well that was as far as Harry's moment of insight got him. He could tell he was close to connecting the dots, but to what he had not determined yet.

'Wait' Harry's brain exclaimed '…no.' Almost there Harry thought, almost. 'Maybe tomorrow,' his brain suggested.

Sure enough, tomorrow, Remus informed Harry that he would be taking up the Defense of the Dark Arts position. Apparently affirmative action doesn't work in the wizarding world either. But it was convenient enough that with the departure of Snape, Dumbledore was required to hire on at least one dark creature. And it was with this conversation that helped Harry's brain and Harry to reach an accord. "Remus! We should have Dumbledore hire Cissy to teach Potions! And I know she'd make a great Slytherin Head of House too."

Remus looked startled. This was not the deductive reasoning of James Potter's son, oh no. This was the quick and clever mind of Lily Evan's only child. "That is an excellent idea! I'm sure Albus will be crazy for it. If he's not we'll just wait until he's drunk again and bring him some contracts then. You think Cissy will want to?"

"Remus, if I asked her to do a striptease and then lather her body with slytherin green jell-o she'd be ecstatic to, just for the fact that I asked her to."

Remus wondered about the certainty Harry had when he mentioned this completely hypothetical situation.

"Besides, the only two things important to her are her amazingly handsome Master and Cissy's Drakey-poo. This will keep her and Draco closer than they've gotten to be since before Hogwarts."

"We may need to put her in disguise. Some people wouldn't react well to a Malfoy teaching their children after a Snape had been corrupting them. Even if she is Harry Potter's house elf. Plus disguises are so much fun for the rest of us."

"Yeah they are! Though I think her first name will need to be Cissy. I can't see us breaking her from calling herself that too easily."

"I agree. Just a last name would work. She's your house elf; you have any ideas in mind?"

"I was thinking of naming her after Sirius's pet flobberworm. Although I think Hagrid may have helped him name it."

Remus remembered fondly and nodded his head. "Yes that will do nicely. Professor Chaos just has a nice ring to it. Cissy Chaos: the Avenging Topless Elf. Yes very nice."

Harry was a man, and when men get confused they agree, so he just nodded too.