A/N Once again thanks so much for all your reviews! I know this story's a bit depressing, but I'm just trying to tell it how it is. Heaps of people got through this, and they need to learn that there's nothing to be ashamed of. So please keep reading and reviewing…and I'll keep updating.
Abby sat down at her desk in her bedroom, putting on some music. She was meant to be studying, but she knew that she wasn't in the mood for schoolwork right now. She sighed, thinking about everything that had been happening in the last few weeks. Her grades at school had dropped completely. The counselor said Miss Walker had contacted her last week, saying that Abby's work had gone downhill. She also said two of her other teachers had contacted her, thinking maybe there was something going on at home that she should see the counselor about. Of course, Miss Watts wasn't allowed to tell them anything, but the fact that teachers were talking about her behind her back still freaked Abby out.
Aside from that, Susan and Carter had been as supportive as they possibly could be, and that was something Abby was truly thankful for. She chewed on her lip, as she thought over an idea in her head. She took out a piece of paper, deciding to write Susan and Carter a letter to thank them, and to try explaining.
Abby walked into school the next morning late as usual. She spotted Carter first, and he smiled at her, changing his direction towards her.
"Hey you" he said.
"Hey." She replied, opening her locker.
"You ok?" he asked.
She sighed, rolling her eyes. She hated the way everybody did that. She had to be bloody happy all the time or they think there's something wrong. Is she ever allowed to just be 'normal' anymore?
"I'm fine" she snapped back. She shook her head as she saw his eyes fall. That had come out a little bitchier than she had anticipated…but she was still ticked off. She didn't want to be treated like something that was about to break.
"Sorry, it's just…I get sick of people asking me that all the time"
"Fair enough. I've got to go to class" he said, quickly turning and walking off.
"Carter wait." She said, running up behind him. "I'm sorry" she said again, this time really meaning it.
He smiled slightly. "I know you are."
"Oh, I've got something for you." She said, getting the letter out of her pocket.
"What's this?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.
"It's just a letter. It's for you and Susan."
"Both of us? Do we have to read it together?"
"You can if you want. I don't really care" she smiled, collecting her stuff and heading off to class.
Carter went in the opposite direction, curious as to what was in this so called 'letter'.
Carter had told Susan about Abby's letter, and they had decided to read it together after school. They walked to the park near their school, the curiosity burning into each of them.
Dear Susan and Carter,
As you can probably tell, this letter is for both of you. Either read it separately and pass it on, or read it together…I don't really mind. I know you probably think this is weird because I don't usually write letters, but I really need to say a few things. First off, I'm sorry for everything I've put you both through. I'm a horrible, horrible friend for doing this to you, and I have no idea why you're still talking to me. I wish I could give you exact reasons as to why I feel the way I do…but I can't. Hell I don't even know. I do know however, that I want to be happier; I'm just not sure how to go about it. I'm still seeing the counselor, but only because I'm being made to. I hate going there, and talking about this kind of stuff, so that's probably why it's not having much of an impact. If anything, it's only making everything worse. I'm trying to cut back on my drinking, but it's a lot harder than it looks. You probably don't know how much I actually drink by myself, and I know that it's bad and stuff…but it's something I'm trying to get under control. Its habits like that that can wreck your life forever I know.
I wish I could tell you more, but I really don't think I can. I just wanted, and needed you to know how much you both mean to me, even though I don't show it that well. You've stuck by me, and I thank you heaps for that. In fact, I probably owe you my life. I really just want you two to move on with your life though. I don't want to be holding you back. I want to just forget any of this ever happened. I know it's probably not possible though. Anyway, I really do appreciate you both. You mean so much to me. I love you both…
Carter let out a loud breath. He hadn't breathed the entire time he'd been reading that letter. He didn't think Susan had either. He wasn't sure what to make of it.
"So what do you think?" he asked softly, breaking the dead silence with his voice.
"Honestly?" Susan said, turning to face him. He could now she that her eyes were glassy, and she had tear stained cheeks.
He nodded, wanting to know what Susan was thinking.
"Honestly…" she paused, wiping her tears away. Carter gulped, suddenly scared of what Susan was going to say. He could see she was having trouble even thinking about it.
"I think it's a goodbye letter"
