"Chosen children of the digital world… Even now, we find ourselves trapped in the mind of an incompetent author! Six chapters, all of decent length, and we still have no plot! He's incompetent, with little regard for continuity, and has breached the fourth wall at least ten times in his desperation for humor! Chosen, I beseech you, overthrow this incompetent and let us establish a good fic in its place!" Miyako shouted boldly, and the author meekly apologized and ran far, far away…

"Miyako-chan, why do you despise the author so much?" Hikari asked, stroking the evil one's cheek...

"Mischaracterization, gratuitous yuri, striking characters down with lightning bolts whenever they start protesting…" Miyako answered, reading them off her list, which suddenly caught fire… "The author's really abusing his Ultimate Power now, y'know?"

"Yeah, I understand…" Hikari said sadly, wishing the author would just write some nice fluff… "So, we destroy his minion, Platinum Sukamon, the pathetic attempt at a main villain now?"

"No…" Miyako said darkly… "There's one thing I agree with this author on, this fic, if it succeeds, must become a slice of digital culture, a part of the fandom as much as the Ioblacku shrine of old… And though it's a hopelessly ambitious plan, we still need to do something more quintessentially digimon-based then just a revolt against this author…" She spoke, quite convinced of what she was saying… "And for that reason, we must throw in more gratuitous Taito!"

"Noooooooooooo!" Yama cried out, but it was too late, as Taichi, possessed by the wishes of a thousand fangirls, showed the inherent limitations in the democratic system, specifically in its inability to prevent the tyranny of the majority…

But as quickly as the hard yaoi scene began, it ended, and the fangirls disappeared into the ever-shifting mists of time, which then engulfed a random country in Europe and sent it into the distant future, thus really screwing with things…

The immediate effects of this screwing with things were that Miyako gained a large following of doom, and the Takari forces could be combated at last! But the devastation inflicted by such a war was vast, and whether the digital world would ever recover from such a thing could not easily be determined, but the devastation was immense indeed…

Then a Sokeru scene occurred, and out of the post-apocalyptic digital world (Is there any other kind?) they came… And as they came, they would make the world finally have some sort of lasting change, after six chapters happening with something that was roughly the status quo as the result!

Ultimately, the digital world was a dark place… Not literally, though its sky did tend to have an unusually purplish shade in some areas, but dark in the metaphorical sense… Sure, there were those who thought it was a light-hearted world, but they had a strong correlation with those who hadn't seen the series set in it or ever been there, so they were wildly regarded as idiots…

As for who "they" were, it could not easily be said, as they were mysterious figures that enjoyed shrouding themselves in cloaks and assassinating random Koromon… But still, it was their deeds that would change the world, and only partially because one of them mistook Platinum Sukamon for an oversized Koromon…

"A hideous darkness was upon us… Then again, this was the digital world, so a hideous darkness was always upon us, but this was of the "viral nightmare soldier more hideous then anything seen in either world" variety, so we were all doomed…" Takeru wrote, using the past tense for events that were currently occurring, though he meant to just be describing the Devimon incident…

"To protect the digital world… To defend those digimon who merely wish to live their lives in peace from the tyranny of another creature that wields the powers of darkness… That was why I fought…"

"Takeru-kun, will you stop writing your memoirs already and start overthrowing the author!" Miyako yelled, wielding some sort of trademark weapon…

"Sorry!" Takeru said meekly, squeaking back from the inheritor of Sincerity and Love in fear, and then it happened…

At last, after so many years… After so much filler space vaguely referencing them, they came at last, and were finally introduced to the story which they would prove to be occasional antagonists for!

As for who they were, at first they appeared to be cloaked figures of darkness, all riding upon black Garurumon of death, destruction, and blue flame… What they truly were would be revealed in a horrible battle involving their cloaks of darkness being shredded and massive fanservice, a battle which would not soon come…

"Cloaked riders of the night on black creatures… I presume you're assassins?" Yamato asked, holding out his digivice…

"No, we're just messengers of darkness, the assassination industry's been in decline as of late…" The lead one said, throwing a shuriken with a note attached, which Yamato nimbly caught…

"No!" He screamed out in horror, and the messengers left, content that their task had been completed…

As for what the note said, that was secret, but rest assured it was sufficiently Evil™…

"So, what's so horrid…" Miyako said, and then glancing at the note, recoiled in sheer horror… "It can't be…"

"People don't deliver false messages by shuriken in the night... It has happened…" Yamato said, still trying to comprehend the horror…

"I may have managed to stop him, but… I weep for anyone who crosses Cthulhu's path…" Hikari said sadly, as Miyako clung to her in fear…

"Cthulhu's back?" Yamato asked, not seeming to notice that part of the note… I thought it was just that other unspeakable horror, the Parrotmon of legend…"

"You're right… Cthulhu's strong, but he still sleeps, we're looking at a Crossmon of death now… Eight years and it all comes down to this…" Takeru said, and then holding up his digivice to a random portal, added "So, shall we go to Hikarigaoka?"

"We've fought too many battles there, it's getting pretty boring, and, besides, I'm not sure how much longer the authorities can keep saying the bridge was blown up by terrorists…" Koushirou responded, hacking into Tentomon's source code… "What about a random mountain of evil?"

"Like Infinity or Spiral? It's a pretty good idea, but ultimately…" Miyako began… "This conversation is pretty pointless, Crossmon will choose the battlefield, and we'll just have to respond…

And so the final battle began, and continued, and continued… No one seemed to have anticipated that Crossmon would actually bring a legion of parrots, and so they fled down the mountain, certainly not crushed, but nowhere near stopping The Ultimate Evil™, especially considering that they were in battle with Crossmon, who's form the author doesn't feel like looking up, but who evolves from a vaccine-type wind guardian, not a virus-type nightmare soldier, which the ultimate evil must be, and this is indeed a run-on sentence of ninety-two words showing the author's reliance of commas to the exclusion of other punctuation marks.

"How long until the apocalypse?" Miyako asked, checking her non-existent watch… "Okay, we still have enough time…"

"Yes, but it's not the apocalypse I'm fearful of…" Hikari said sadly, and Daisuke, finally making an emotional appearance in one of my fics written in post-Oikawan times, looked on with the same fear in his deep brown eyes…

"We thought that with these dark times, the Daikari fandom was broken… But we're all doomed…" Daisuke said, actually being able to show some seriousness despite popular opinion, which in many ways was shaped by Jeff Nimoy's atrocities, though they would rarely admit to such a thing…

Then the serious tone dropped, as the one incident which could make a thing happen occurred, and despite the author's militant Sokeru principles, even though it horrified him to even consider writing such a thing, Takeyako hintings would be brought into the story!

But since Takeyako hintings were so very horrible, such a hideous coupling even more vile then Takari, the scene then changed to something slightly less evil! But as for what it was that was slightly less evil, it involved Numemon being sacrificed to the dark gods, and for some odd reason Queen Hikari I, their former liberator, was in the area to save them…

But this time there was no plotline, no story to frame the tragedy in, as the author had lost His mind… And as the horde of your stereotypical undead telemarketers charged, Miyako stood in it's midst, unable to escape…

And then a meteor struck, and all was well in the digital world, if the word "well" is used in it's obscure, Old English meaning of "Dead or nearing death"

"You know, I'm all for rebuilding the digital world under normal circumstances, but this is just getting annoying…" Takeru said, annoyed by the author destroying the digital world whenever he couldn't find anything else to do…

"Yeah, but I'd rather not tempt the author…" Miyako said sadly, fearfully remembering recent events that had been skipped over to "protect the reader's sensibilities"…

"C'mon, they didn't like you from the beginning…" Takeru answered playfully… "After all, you got stuck with a digimon of the opposite gender that jogressed into a hermaphrodite."

Hawkmon then began pecking Takeru into oblivion, and thus ended the abortive attempt at a Takeyako scene.

In conclusion, the digital world is a freaky place, and it doesn't make any sense to put "In conclusion" in the middle of a random story, instead of at the end of an essay as is more traditionally done… That said, Vamdemon had been revived from the grave once more by the riders of the night (Shrouded in 2 cloaks of mystery), Oikawa was drowning in eternal sorrow beyond the capacity of this writer to accurately portray (Especially in a humor fic) and the digital world was doomed. Again.

But it was the destiny of the chosen to always stop the digital world from being doomed, fail miserably, and have a lot of death to angst over afterward, then eventually beat them in a bittersweet battle which leaves the fans depressed over it anyway, so they rode out to combat, and with a few cries of "Bloody Stream!" got their collective asses kicked by Vamdemon, and returned once more to sorrowful mourning of their defeat, as Vamdemon ravaged the proverbial countryside, but did not burninate it, as that was beyond his power.

Meanwhile, Yamato finally killed himself over his angst, though he may have been already dead from events earlier in the fic, in which case he killed himself in the afterlife.

Regardless, Yamato was dead now, and since he was the embodiment of friendship, it was only natural that internal dissent would rip the chosen apart, unless they were to rely on Daisuke… And if Daisuke, even if not the hideous travesty he became in the dub, was to be the one the bonds of the chosen rested on, they were all doomed… However, they already were all doomed, so it didn't matter much.

But the embodiment of doom had come, mainly out of boredom and pervertedness… To abduct the former Kaiser, to create yaoi scenes, that was the way of the fangirl… And with internal dissent ripping the chosen apart, there had never been a better time, right?

And thus started the war that, due to a translation error, ended up being fought over swords (The real kind, get your minds out of the gutter!)

"Digimon Kaiser…" Miyako said coldly, holding a knife to Ken's heart… "I expect full control over both worlds when you finish."

"Miyako-chan, that's pure evil!" Hikari protested, but found herself at the height of her power just defending herself from Daikeru fans, so she couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Oddly enough, Elecmon wept for the Kaiser, but if his tears couldn't stop the Kaiser the first time, they wouldn't stop Miyako's dark plans using the Kaiser the second time…

"Yay! We're all doomed!" Miyako shouted out excitedly.

"That's because of your deeds, evil one…" Takeru shouted back, an aura of anti-evil appearing around him…

"Hey, I'm not entirely evil! I did help save the digital world, and my jogress partner is the embodiment of light after all…" Miyako protested.

"But opposites attract, and that was the name of the Hiyako episode in the dub." Hikari responded, smiling. "Of course, some have thought it Kenkari supporting, but the fandom's full of so many baka anyway." She added, actually capable of insult, contrary to popular belief…

"So? Doesn't light have an opposite other then darkness? Besides, I am one of the chosen, right?"

"Even the gods make mistakes." Takeru responded, and Miyako yelled out about how none were coming to her defense, and how the author had still not begun to wrap up the chapter.

"Noooooooooooo!" Sora responded, crying out for no good reason. "Despite the word count, the author's still focusing on the 02 chosen and virtually ignored me!"

"Well, 02 is getting subbed faster." Miyako responded, smiling. "And 01 is pretty sane, it doesn't have the same potential as my series!"

Meanwhile, in an alternate dimension, Takuya bemoaned his series' lack of anything useful, and the digimon/humans of that world were upset, thus letting the terrorists win.

However, the actual impact of this on the digital world was nil, despite the horrible sociopolitical effects on the human world, it was all in crappy places that had not gone through the internet revolution. (Which was decisively won by Australia.)

But the word count was still not inflated enough, and the author did not wish to resort to either political humor or fanservice, so a horrible dilemma was created, which not even pointing out the fact that Milleryo actually has more evidence then Taiora could diffuse, though it did help somewhat.

"Author-baka! Your soul shall be mine!" Miyako yelled, leaping at him from behind. "And now, in celebration of Christmas, despite the attempts of this fic to be timeless, we leave you with the following!" The author yelled, trying to stay alive... "Remember to watch as much subbed digimon as you can and support digimon shounen-ai! If we all just write one fic like that, the percentage of shounen-ai on FFN will increase by a miniscule amount! Support Sokeru, despite it being hetero! And remember, Nidoran can not be used for murder, use a good digimon like Bakumon instead, and kill them in their sleep!"