There was a faint buzzing sound in Abby's ears. She couldn't work out where it was coming from. She fluttered one eyelid open slowly, followed by the other one. Her head pounded at the first glance of light. Wherever she was was bright. Very bright. She groaned a little, the pain in both her eyes and head quite severe. She lifted her head a little off the pillow, but fell back down again. She could see where she was now. She was in the hospital. She lifted one of her arms to see a drip attached to it. She stared, almost puzzled at the deep cuts on her wrist, and the scratchings all over her hands. Where on earth had they come from? She looked to the other side, jumping in shock when she realized someone was staring straight back at her.

"I can't believe you're awake" Carter said softly. "I've been praying for this day. I knew you'd make it" He leaned forward, kissing the top of her head.

"What? What happened?" Abby asked puzzled.

"You mean you don't remember?"

She shook her head, although she suddenly got an unexpected shiver right down her spine. She could tell that this wasn't going to be good news.

"You uh…you tried to kill yourself a week ago."

Abby lay back a little, as the world began to spin around her. It was all coming back to her. How could she have been so selfish? So stupid? What was she thinking?

"Oh God" she said croakily. "God I'm so sorry Carter. I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry for doing this to you."

"Shhhh" he said, putting a finger on her lips. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Do what? I'm a selfish bitch Carter."

"Please" he said pleadingly. "Please just drop it for now."

She nodded reluctantly, the guiltiness still welling up inside of her.

"I'm going to go tell them you're awake" he said, getting up.

"Carter…" she said to his back.

He spun around, looking at her, a smile on his face. He was so unbelievably ecstatic that Abby was awake.

"I love you"

He smiled again, walking back to her bedside. Leaning down, he kissed her lips softly.

"I love you too" he whispered, inches away from her face.


A week later, Abby was ready to be released from hospital. She had been on suicide watch for the first few days, while she got back into the normal routine of eating and sleeping and stuff. Then she had been to a few group therapy sessions, and a social worker had been working with her every day. Everyone had been into see her, which made her all the more anxious to get out. Susan, Eric, Susan's parents, Miss Watts, Miss Walker, Blair, and Carter of course. Carter had been in everyday, and there was no way in hell she would have got through any of this without him. She owed him her life.

But right now, all she wanted to do was go home and for everything to go back to normal. She knew it wouldn't of course…but she could dream. Miss Watts thought it would be best if she eased back into school, but her living arrangements still weren't finalized. Because of her mother's sudden departure, she and Eric had really been left in the lurch. Abby had had so many counseling sessions about her mother in the past week, she was almost glad she didn't have to go home to her.

Everyone had been so great about all of this. She had no idea how they could even all be bothered with her anymore. But suddenly, after spending a week in the hospital, she'd realized just what she was missing out on. She was missing out on being happy; and it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to her family, her friends, her teachers, or herself. It wasn't fair to anybody. Abby left the hospital with a set of new rules. For the way she acted, and the way she thought. She'd actually learnt something this week. Even though it took almost dying for her to realise any of it…she knew deep down that this was the beginning of something new.