"And so, the next chapter begins…" Chibi-Hikari began, looking over to the struck-by-lightning Miyako chibi beside her. "And let me say that the author's made it his new year's resolution to write an entire chapter without breaking the fourth wall, and hopefully, save this introduction, he'll succeed!"

"We all hope he does, I'm not sure how much more divine intervention I can take." Miyako responded in an exhausted manner, as an earthquake ripped the ground below her apart and she fell to her death.

Again.

But the fourth wall had been constructed with renewed strength, and for now, all the digital world would have to worry about would be that annoying trends of evils long past returning to wreak havoc, and of course the devastating Daikari/Takari coupling wars.

And so with that, the chosen gathered once more (Astute readers will notice that Yamato was killed off, as was Miyako, and Daisuke should be on another planet. This would make a lot of sense, if there was any continuity to speak of in this fic.) on Infinity Mountain, and the digital world was doomed.

As for why it was doomed, this was because of the following rational progression:

Vamdemon, no matter how much people thought he was after each of his supposed deaths, was not dead.

Every time Vamdemon was alive, he tried to do things that would bring doom to the digital world.

Every time this happened, he was only barely stopped.

Therefore, it follows that considering how long the digital world lasts, eventually he'd succeed, and the digital world was therefore doomed.

The chosen, however, had given up on Vamdemon and had other, far more important things to do, such as going to the heavens to glomp angel digimon.

However, Infinity Mountain, as every digimon knows, is a misnomer, so it does not stretch up to the heavens, so they would have to go elsewhere.

And then from out of nowhere it came, a horrible blizzard brought on by the boredom of the digital world, and the chosen were separated once more! (Though it was blamed on a rampaging Yukidarumon.)

Winds strong enough to send most digimon of their feet, gentle snowflakes becoming less then gentle and getting in your eyes… Even though they were quite fun to look at and it made for a nice spell, blizzards have never been thought of as something good to be caught in.

And of course, it was precisely what the chosen were caught in, so this was quite annoying, though it would provide a convoluted, annoying excuse for a Hiyako lemon scene. But this was a noble excuse, an excuse used even in such mighty series as Excel Saga, an excuse that enables any two random characters trapped in a snowstorm and freezing to succumb to their lusts.

Of course, when Miyako was one of the people involved, they did just that. And so as Miyako slid a hand down Hikari's shirt, I should remind the readers that it was a need to stay warm through the blizzard, not mutual lust, that was behind the upcoming yuri scene, so, rabid Takari fanboys of the world, there is no need to lynch anyone.

However, though there may be a way to make detailed lemon scenes funny, it is beyond the knowledge of the narrator, so the scene switched to that of Takeru and Sora, who, oddly enough out of pure chance, also ended up together and isolated from the others.

"Brrr…" Sora began in a completely unromantic way, shivering and putting her hands to her shoulders.

"Yeah, it's really cold here. Don't worry, Piyomon's sure to find us soon, right?" Takeru responded hopefully, as the bird digimon got knocked out by a large chunk of ice.

"I'm not convinced…" Sora said in a gloomy tone, fearful of her fate, which one tends to be when said fate is quite obviously "Buried in a deadly snowstorm, died of hypothermia."

"She's cute when she's terrified." Takeru thought, and then shook his head. "C'mon, don't be thinking of that at a time like this!" He mentally berated himself, as his face turned a crimson shade.

And since it's so much fun to randomly interrupt dramatic fluffy scenes of flowering romance, we now give you… Random acts of genocide against mechanical digimon! Then more expanding on the Hiyako scene, then some other stuff the author thinks of, and then we'll be back to the nice bit of Sokeru fluff.

But first, the Hiyako scene, because the world needs more digimon fanservice. So naturally, we go straight to the aftermath and skip the lemon entirely, as the two lied together, Hikari's head resting softly on Miyako's breast, she began to think of days long past…

Miyako, on the other hand, as much as she wanted to reminisce, was too aroused by Hikari to actually do so. And so, as Hikari remembered all her time with Miyako-chan and at last felt desires of her own, she turned around to (Censored to maintain rating) and at last was in a state of pure, orgasmic bliss.

Now that the readers have had some nice happy yuri to get them in the proper mood, I shall tragically announce that Yamato passed out in a snowstorm and was barely saved by Gabumon, but due to amputations that had to be made fangirls now have no reason to stalk him.

I must also announce that there will be an innocent, non-perverted scene!

Eventually.

For now, we're just going to have a bunch of yaoi, or we would if Angemon could plausibly be paired with Ken at least. We will also stop referring to ourselves in the plural, as we find it odd.

Sadly, the legendary quote has still not been found and will most likely join the long list of broken promises, in fact, this fic's been incredibly lacking in dialogue, though the chain of logical thought about how the digital world was doomed and the line "because the world needs more digimon fanservice" might someday be remembered.

This is really lacking in dialogue, though, so the lair of Vamdemon shall now be entered, mainly because he's berating his subordinates and adding some much-needed dialogue to the text.

"Pico Devimon, I'm surprised you're still alive." Vamdemon said passively, wondering how he could get that useless subordinate killed.

"Vamdemon-sama, I didn't survive, I just got quickly reincarnated because death died." He responded, with a look on his face that clearly expressed the concept of "Please don't feed me to your bats and hold me upside-down over a fire again, Vamdemon-sama!!!"

However, Vamdemon was a sadist with nothing better to do, and was prepared to brutally torture the small devil, had a random human not just barged in.

"Who are you, and what are you doing in my castle? Explain yourself, human!" The Vamdemon yelled, his voice echoing through the deep caverns and making the human go chibi and cover his ears.

"Forgive me for my break from tone, your voice demanded it." The shrouded human said, his cloak revealing little more then his bluish eyes, which made it clearly either Yamato, Takeru, Ken, or some random chosen created for this scene. "I'm here to stop you!"

"With what? A weakling little Wormmon?" He asked, and then the shrouded figure spoke.

"Wormmon should be more then enough to defeat the likes of you." He answered coldly, brandishing a whip, and the scene faded to black to minimize carnage and thus allowing this fic to at least maintain a pretense of not being misrated to avoid the fic being swept under the rug on FFN, despite the lime content.

As an antidote for the darkness, the nice Sokeru fluff shall now resume.

"Takeru-kun?" Sora asked, as the bearer of hope was lost in thought… "Are you there, Takeru-kun?" She added, going chibi and poking him numerous times, but to no answer. "It's hard to have a fluffy scene if one of the characters is mentally absent!" She scolded, looking absolutely adorable and somewhat mad doing it because of her super-deformed form.

"Sorry…" The bearer of hope responded, clearly not into the forced Sokeru scene…

"C'mon! If this scene doesn't pick up in fluffiness, he might have to make it a Takari or something!" Sora yelled, and Takeru recoiled in sheer horror…

"Fine…" He said, embracing the bearer of love warmly, as the snow pelted the ground outside…

But eventually they were found by the batpig and the chocobo(I will not use political correctness! I don't care if "chocobo" has become a slur among the Piyomon race, she still is one!) passed out in one another's arms. Then the cave they were hiding out in collapsed and they froze to near-death, only to be warmed up by Birdramon at the last thread of their life, and remaining conveniently unconscious for the rest of the chapter.

But said chapter could not end just yet, as the chapter/word ratio had to be increased in a pitiful attempt to make more people read the fic, so something would have to be done to continue it! And as penguins are inherently funny, it only made sense to have a militia composed mainly of penguins (Though with a distinct minority of lesser dragons) brutally attack Mimi and Miyako.

"Huh?" Miyako asked, why the penguins were attacking… "Save me Mimi-chan!" She yelled, glomping the holder of the crest of purity. But her glomp was too energetic, and Mimi was knocked over, so neither could escape.

The result of this was predictable, and they were both pumped full of icy bullets and brutally killed, thus tormenting Shurimon and giving him a burning desire for revenge he would forever carry with him in his heart, even once he managed said revenge.

Miyako-chan… I will never forget you… I shall turn my sorrow into hate, and make every one of those penguins suffer!

Then the penguins started shooting at the odd warrior from behind.

"Kisama…" Shurimon began, though it wasn't clear which one of the penguins he referred to. "I'll make each and every one of you suffer! Autumn Wind!"

Then Shurimon threw his mighty shuriken, and was promptly gunned down in a hail of bullets.

But with only eight chosen remaining available for use, most of which lacked much humor potential, the chapter reaching it's proper length would be a difficult task indeed, especially if Ioblacku jokes would not be used to pad word count.

So, with Excel Saga blaring in the background, Hikari and Cthulhu fought each other once more, the fate of the world at stake. As revolutions occurred across the world, as Yamato and Taichi engaged in hot yaoi intercourse, the legendary quote finally revealed itself!

"Suffering is the way of the world, whether human or digital… Even though we of the light try to stop it, the balance is never disrupted by the light, so it shall always continue… And the suffering you've caused was bitter indeed, I don't deny it… But when you people wish to neglect even our memories, when fools like you forget the very nature of our world and wish to believe it a mere pokemon rip-off, when you wish not merely to forget the sacrifices of so many digimon, but also to deny the very tragedy of what we went through, to think of it s just another light-hearted anime series no different then pokemon, I will never forgive you!"

And so the quote was spoken, subconsciously ripped off from too many things to name, but still with no one to attribute it to… For that reason, we will say Ken Ichijouji said it, before setting Dinobeemon on a bunch of idiots, and victory at last came to the side of good.

The end.

Such a statement really should be said when the chapter ends, but something would have to be typed instead of a graphic description of the brutality Dinobeemon demonstrated, so "The end" was it, though the chapter marched forever onward despite said "end", as Hikari ripped off one of Cthulhu's tentacles in a burst of light and the eternal battle between good and evil continued, and the chapter dragged forever onward, though it's humor capacity had been all but eliminated.

But a desire for greatness made it trudge forever onward, determined to come up with humor in impossible circumstances!

Besides, Daisuke had a bit of humor potential, though he was mutilated in the dub to such an extent that with only a fourth of 02 subbed at this date, his personality is still ungrasped. And as a satirical mockery of modern American politics focusing on the fascist leanings in American society would be too controversial, something would have to be thought up, and putting the author's train of thought down as part of the fic is bad form, but the nature of such fics demands it.

And though the chapter was long enough to end and Miyako was too dead to extend it artificially, it would still continue, for Platinum Sukamon had launched another senseless assault with no severe consequences in the end!

"Wait, I gave that dramatic speech to a weak filth-type digimon when I had Dinobeemon on my side? I should have saved it for someone who was actually threatening…" Ken began, scratching the back of his head. "Either way, kill him." He said, showing an amount of coldness he didn't show to actual digimon, thus proving cause for endless speculation, or it would do so if anyone actually read this fic, let alone took it seriously. And thus, repeating the same tired self-depreciating humor it always had, the chapter continued…

But a new infusion of plotline had come, an infusion that could finally move the story beyond gratuitous yuri! Then it left, leaving only a few Royal Knights behind, Omegamon and Dukemon trading blows, and Magnamon backing quasi-fascist ideals in the name of Yggdrasil.

But there were more then one Magnamon is the world,, and Seiryu was pissed at Yggdrasil, so the Digimental of miracles, due to divine intervention, would glow once more.

Then the two Magnamon fought to a draw, and the eternal battle for the souls of the chosen continued, though a few of them had already been decided on one side or the other.

That said, Alphamon's coolness could still not be denied, even though these random X-Evolution references have no relevance whatsoever to the plot… And still desperately extending the chapter far beyond its natural life, he continued to type without relevance.

That said, the Penguin militia (Half which had evolved into Rukamon, as the only thing more amusing the penguins with infantry weapons is marine mammals with infantry weapons) had confronted Platinum Sukamon, the title of the main villain at stake.

Taking advantage of this, Ken wiped them both out in the midst of combat, and good at last triumphed over evil. But the coupling wars still weren't resolved, and in their quest for victory, they had grown to involve people with even more and more foolish coupling flames.

Before the brutal descriptions of war begin, I would like to take some time out to remind you that whatever events you thought happened twenty-five years after the death of Oikawa were hallucinated, merely another case of mass hysteria, and did not actually happen in any way, shape, or form, though it's not implausible that Miyako engaged in intercourse with Ken at one point in that stretch of time.

And so as Sora and Takeru rested in loving embrace, supporters of Taiora, Sorato, and Taito took to the battlefield of the net, which of course turned into an actual battlefield in the digital world, where they slaughtered each other. Meanwhile, a bunch of Vamdemon came and eagerly lapped up the blood, until they began fighting against one another on whether the adventure one should be paired with Piemon, Wizarmon, or Angewomon.

Then the digital world plunged into full-scale civil war, and after years of chaos, the supporters of Taishirou emerged triumphant. But this was too freaky a pairing, so they started another war, as digimon are sadly far too inclined to do, no matter how many times you cleanse the digital world. I say it's Suzaku's fault.

Then, despite Miyako having been dead for years and it therefore being necrophilia, which is wrong and implausible due to beings purely of the light not having a tendency to fuck the dead, another gratuitous Hiyako scene was thrown in anyway.

258 words… 256 more words or so, and the chapter would finally end… Traditionally, it would do so with Miyako berating the author over his failures, but the fourth wall must hold or at least not be acknowledged by any characters, and Miyako-chan was dead anyway.

So another method would have to be used, a method far, far more horrible… A method that had been sealed away and only occasionally referenced humorously, but only through the internet, as speaking it would summon Hastur.

But merely typing "Hastur" 171 times (By Microsoft Word reckoning) would simply be boring, so a new way would have to be revealed.

"Hastur, Hastur, Hastur!" Daisuke said, and then was eaten, as this humor fic has not yet made fun of the Taichi clone in any serious degree, which is in violation of international law. So please don't kill me!

And so it continues, even though a small bit of writing would end it… But that writing will be delayed, or at least I will say it will be so that my writing habits will never be revealed! Mwahahahahaha!

But the author's megalomania was simply too much for Hikari to bear, and the bearer of light finally snapped and killed the author, despite his Mighty Author Powers™, he simply could not stop it.

(Mighty Author Powers is a registered trademark of the humorous fanfic writers of the world.)

But with no author, the fic simply could not be uploaded anywhere, and it would merely be forgotten. So Genbu restored the self-proclaimed "Emperor Birdboy I of the Digital World" to life, and the chapter at last ended.