A/N: Well, I thought that I'd update when I got ten reviews, but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen. But, eight reviews is pretty damn close! Thank you guys so much. I have quite a lot of reviews, actually. :squishy feeling: Anyway, I'd just like to thank Alyssa and Tara for beta-ing this chapter for me. I must admit, I was a little lazy and didn't put in all their wonderful corrections, so if there is a major grammatical error, blame me. I don't know who else you would blame…whatever. Also, the musical reference that no one got (even you, Tara, who I TOLD what it was) was the name of the librarian. Madam Paroo…Marian Paroo…The Music Man…yeah.
Enjoy the chapter. By the way, happy belated birthday to Alan Rickman, the essence of British-ness. :drools:
Chapter Six
"Why?"
"Hello, Lily," said James as he passed Lily in the Great Hall. He smiled genuinely at her and continued towards his usual spot at the Gryffindor table.
"What's this?" asked Gwen. Lily had not yet told her about the apology she had received the night before. "No 'Lily love'? He's not even going to ask you to Hogsmeade? What happened?" Lily shrugged slightly. She didn't really want to tell Gwen everything over breakfast. There were a lot of eavesdroppers. Lily needed to change the subject.
"What about Paul? What happened after I left you two yesterday?"
"Well, he told me we should probably get back to our common rooms since it was so late, so, I went to mine and he went to his. Was something supposed to happen?" asked Gwen, naively. Sometimes Lily was surprised at Gwen. For all her reading, she knew very little about boys.
"Never mind," sighed Lily as they sat down. As she grabbed a piece of toast, Gwen said, "You can't distract me that easily, Lils."
She may not know much about boys, thought Lily, but she has a memory like an elephant.
"Nothing really exciting happened, but I can tell you about it later," replied Lily. Gwen nodded.
"All right. And don't try to get out of it. Something important must have happened. 'Least James thought it was important." Several girls sitting near Gwen and Lily looked up from their plates. Lily glared at Gwen. "…that Gryffindor wins the House Cup," added Gwen, clumsily trying to cover up her mistake.
"Hey, Gwen, Lils, why are you talking about ol' Jamsie here?" yelled Sirius from nearly the other end of the table. How in the world had he heard their conversation? Lily blushed and glared at Gwen again.
"Oh, you know," Gwen yelled back. "Just the usual—Lily complaining about his bigheadedness!" Lily glanced over at James. After he heard Gwen's explanation, his face tensed, and he looked determinedly at his plate. Lily tried to read his face, but she couldn't. Lily leaned over the table and hit Gwen on the arm.
"What!" yelped Gwen, rubbing her arm. "I was saving you!" Lily didn't know why, but she was suddenly filled with feelings of guilt. She tried hard to suppress these ridiculous feelings. "Well, if you're going to be an arse, I'll just read," said Gwen, as she pulled out a book and propped it up on the sugar bowl. Lily didn't know how Gwen always managed to have a new book on her person but right now, that was the least of her worries. She wasn't sure why, but she felt like she had betrayed James.
But, she pointed out to herself; I told him everything was going to the same! I didn't make any promises to him. One apology is not enough to redeem him of all his screw-ups. So, I don't owe him anything! she convinced herself. Still, Lily wanted to know what James was thinking. Gwen was in a different world, so Lily got up from the table. She would act like she just wanted to chat with Remus, but she'd also watch James closely.
"Come over to apologize, Evans?" asked Sirius as he saw her approaching.
"Oh, why don't you go snog someone?" snapped Lily, lamely.
"Ooo, good one," retorted Sirius, sarcastically. James hadn't met Lily's eyes yet.
"I came over here to talk with Remus, Black, not to fight with you."
"Well, sit down, Lily," said Remus. Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Why d'you always have to be the gentleman, Moony?" Sirius complained, as he turned to talk to James.
"Actually," said Lily, seeing she wasn't going to figure anything out about James here, "I was wondering if you could walk me up to the common room to get our books before classes start. That is, if you want to." James had looked at Lily when she had asked Remus to walk with her. Lily thought she could see some anger in his face. She couldn't resist making him mad.
"Of course, Lily. Anything for my favorite ex," Remus said, smiling and getting up from the table.
"Oh, gag me. Please, leave before I vomit all over," said Sirius. Lily and Remus ignored him.
"See you guys in class," said Remus. Peter, who had been occupied with his breakfast before, looked up. Sirius and James pretended like they didn't care whether Lily and Remus left or not.
"'Bye, Moony," he said, his cheeks stuffed with food. Lupin nodded and Lily and he walked out.
"What is wrong with James today?" asked Lily, getting straight to the point. Noting Remus' surprise, she added, "Not that I really care, I'm just curious."
"Well, if you don't really care, why should I waste my breath?" teased Remus.
"See, that is exactly why I dumped you, insufferable know-it-all."
"You forget, 'twas I that did the dumping…and for obvious reasons," he said, winking. Actually the reason he had dumped her was much more complicated then that. He was in his third year, Lily was his first serious girlfriend, and besides Sirius, James and Peter he hadn't let anyone else get close to him, and he was scared. Lily had begun to get curious, and it was hard to make up excuses for his regular sickness. Lily was smart and he figured it was only a matter of time before she figured it out.
For some reason, Remus thought it would be different for someone that was romantically attached to him to find out he was a werewolf. Lily thought he was caring, sweet and loving. He hadn't wanted her to know that once a month he became a beast, capable of killing those people who were the closest to him. He had also been more afraid that Lily would have wanted to become an illegal Animagi too, and he couldn't let her take that risk. He still felt guilty for not trusting her but hat was that. He often wondered, when he was particularly lonely, what it would have been like was he not a werewolf. Would he and Lily still be dating? Maybe he had passed up his one chance at true love. But he was sensible. He wouldn't indulge in silly fantasies that could never be. He was destined to be alone.
"…and then you carried me up to the common room, do you remember that?" Remus looked at her, totally clueless. "You weren't listening to a thing I just said, were you?" Remus shook his head. "You great prat," she said, grinning. He grinned back.
"No, but, really, Remmy, what is wrong with James today?" Remus was surprised that she was so persistent with that question.
"Do you know how many times James has apologized to a non-Marauder student and really meant it?" asked Remus, answering her question with one of his own.
"Umm…" said Lily, lost for a response to this seemingly random question.
"Once, to my knowledge."
"Once?" repeated Lily, disbelievingly.
"Once."
"When?"
"Last night," answered Remus. Lily stared at him.
"He told you?" Remus laughed.
"Come on, Lils. Of course he did."
"I haven't told Gwen yet. That's what we were talking about at breakfast," explained Lily.
"Oh, not about James' bigheadedness?" Remus said, and Lily blushed.
"No. Gwen was trying to cover up for me. Why was James so…different? Nothing changed. I accepted his apology and that's it!" Lily said, raising her voice. Remus sighed and shook his head.
"You don't know James very well, do you? You've been…well, mean to him as long as he's liked you. Finally, you say a few civil things to him, true, maybe he over interpreted them and he got his hopes up. Then, the next day, you're back to normal and he gets his hopes dashed on the rocks. Do you see?"
"A little bit better."
"I think it was more what was unsaid last night, then what was said, that had an affect on him." They walked a little farther in silence, Lily thinking about what Remus had said.
"One thing you'll learn, Lily, is that James is a very passionate individual. You can't take everything he does too seriously," said Remus. Lily nodded.
"I was just wondering," she said, feeling the need to explain herself.
"Of course," added Remus, smiling slightly. They retrieved their book bags and walked to their first class—Charms.
"Did you have a good chat?" asked Sirius when Remus left Lily and sat by his friends. Remus didn't respond right away, but instead looked at James who was still gloomy. He decided to cheer his old friend up. He just hoped Lily wouldn't kill him.
"Yeah, she just wanted to know why James was so glum," answered Remus, finally. Immediately there was a decided change in James' face. He grinned and his eyes began to twinkle again, but he didn't say a word. He just looked at Lily (who was laughing because of something Gwen had said). When her eyes met his he grinned, winked and turned away, leaving Lily extremely confused. Remus laughed. He had figured that James would read into that simple statement.
"Ah, but it seems she shouldn't have worried," observed Remus. James opened his mouth to reply, but Professor Flitwick had mounted his stack of books and was coughing loudly. Remus sat down and class began.
Through the day, Remus became more unsure of his decision to tell James about his and Lily's conversation. Remus watched in horror as James slipped back into his old arrogant mannerisms. He asked Lily out a record fifteen times (beating his old one by five) through the course of the day. But this was nothing compared to the incident in Herbology. Lily and Gwen were paired up, and because they were both reasonably good at Herbology, they finished their assignment in class with time to spare. Paul and his partner had also finished early, and all four of them were engaged in a lively conversation next to one very jealous James and his partner, Sirius. Paul and Lily were growing more…friendly by the minute, in James' opinion. His jealousy soon got the better of him.
"Hey, Paul! D'you think you could stop flirting with my girl?" he yelled. Paul (and most everyone in the greenhouse) looked confused. Paul turned to Lily, whose face was bright red. She muttered incoherently for a minute.
"Potter!" she finally managed to say. This was it. She had had it with James Potter's arrogant attitude. She had known his manner the night before wouldn't last long. But Lily would not let her temper get the better of her this time. Oh no. She would carefully plot something far more damaging for James later. She counted to ten, then turned to Paul.
"I'm sorry about that," she said to him. "I am not and never will be his 'girl' and the fact that he still indulges in these…fantasies is quite pathetic." Then, class was dismissed, and Lily walked out with Paul, without saying a single word to James. James was, to say the least, very surprised. He had expected her to lecture him until she was blue. This left him slightly suspicious, but he soon shook off this feeling. It was replaced by one of disappointment, sadness and anger. James tried to shake those off as well, but they lingered. Still, he managed to keep a grin (only slightly less enthusiastic) on his face as he walked out of the greenhouse. He continued to be his old annoying self, if not a little halfheartedly, for the rest of the day, and Lily chose to tactfully ignore him.
"Well, James, you did it," said Sirius as the day was winding down. Lily had just stomped out of the common room after having been asked out for the fifteenth time by James. "You managed to be more annoying to Evans than ever before." Remus, who had been quiet the whole day, had to lecture him.
"Why did you do it, James? Why?" Remus asked, disappointedly. "You had no idea how good you were doing…and then, this." James looked angry. Peter, who was sitting in an armchair, frowned. He could sense an argument coming on.
"Look, I tried, and she still called me a 'bigheaded prat.' So what is the point of even trying anymore!"
"James, it's going to take more than one night to convince her you've changed! Do you think that she really believed that you were different? One night, James, one night. I'd say you'd have to change for a little longer than that."
"Ugh! Why do I have to change?"
"Because," said Sirius, "you love her. You have to change in order to make her realize the feelings she really has for you." Both Remus and James looked at Sirius, who was nonchalantly sprawled out on the couch. He had said something sensible. James was quiet for a moment and then sighed.
"You guys are right, as always. But, could you three please help me? Obviously, I can't last a day on my own. You have to tell me when I'm doing good and when I've screwed up." The three boys nodded.
"I'll help you, James," said Peter, loyally. James smiled at him. Sirius, sensing things were going to get a little too lovey for his taste, decided to change the subject.
"So, next prank?" he asked, sitting up.
"I'm sorry, but I won't be able to participate in any pranks. I have to show Lily how mature I am, and losing my title as Head Boy would not be a good indicator. In fact, since I have to be alert in my classes tomorrow, I'm going to go to sleep," said James, overplaying the goody-two-shoes look. But, he was serious. He walked up to bed after telling them good night.
"Why does he have to change?" moaned Sirius. "Why?"
A/N:
The Flying Moose: You should feel jealous. After all, I am smarter, wittier, more beautiful and cooler than you. JUST KIDDING! Love you, babe.
fluffy puff marshmallow: "I'm a trendy totebag!" Hehe, I love Homestar Runner! Rock on, and keep reviewing!
Travelledtheworldandthe7seas: Have you really? Traveled the world AND the seven seas? Are you a pirate? Thanks for reviewing, I really appreciate your compliments. I was a little worried about bringing Gwen in, and I hope that you don't mind Paul either.
Aseret789: Thanks for the constructive criticism. I have a tendency to do that weird dialogue mixing thing, just because it makes sense in my head, 'cos I'm writing it. I hope I'm doing better…I've been watching out for it.
Bonny: Thanks for your review. I wish the chapters were longer too…damn brain!
AngelinaWeasley1: Me post more. You like?
JerryGirl: You idiot. I told you what it was. Hehe…"That's cool."
Stuck In Wonderland: I like your penname. Keep reviewing, I really appreciate your comments!
Well, adios! I don't have the next chapter written, so it could be awhile. I'm in a play, and I have a couple other clubs and what not, so…I dunno. Just stick with me, okay? I don't have any witty review slogan for you. - I feel stupid and incompetent. :puppy dog look: Wevoo? (That was in baby voice, if you couldn't tell. I was trying to be adorable.)
