Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN – The New Recruits
"We're not really going to let Moony get a false sense of security, are we?" Cottontail asked.
"Probably not, but it leaves him acting hypersensitive and guessing at what's coming." Snatch answered.
"Psychological torture is fun, but I owe him some humiliation still for the Marauder naming. I've got an idea, and could use your help Snatch. All I need from you is a leg-locker and a Silencio. I'll take care of the rest." Mini-Minnie explained with a devious smile.
A few days later at breakfast, Cissy received an owl and seemed extremely happy about something. Crabbe and Goyle also got a letter. And they proceeded to throw themselves against the shadowed back wall. And theoretically they were then going to subtly slink away. The effect was lessened by the attention they attracted cracking their heads on the wall.
Goyle whispered to Crabbe, "Don't move. They can sense movement."
Crabbe whispered back, "So how are we gonna get anywhere if we don't move?"
This question stumped Goyle and the two were still standing there when the rest of the school went to class.
The trio was sitting comfortably in Transfiguration with a relatively sane Professor McGonagall. The Headmaster stuck his head in the classroom and asked "Could I borrow Mr. Weasley for just a second? I promise to return him very quickly."
Ron got up to talk to the Headmaster in the hallway.
"Mr. Weasley," the Headmaster began with a grave and disappointed look on his face. "It has come to my attention that your chronic masturbation is interfering with your studies."
Ron turned a bit of a puce color when the Headmaster started cracking up at him. "Wotcher Horny, that's a horrible color with your hair."
"Oh damn Tonks, you scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?"
"I haven't seen my Snatch in a while, and figured I could take this opportunity, and you could skip class." Tonks morphed into an exact copy of Ron's current look at the moment. "Kinda doubted Mini-Minnie would ever voluntarily miss a class."
"Thanks Tonks! Have Snatch bring you down to the Lair after class. This gives me time to work on a little project I've been cooking up."
'Ron' re-entered transfiguration and sat back down next to Snatch.
Snatch leaned over and whispered out the corner of his mouth. "What did the barmy old coot want? Something wrong?"
'Ron' motioned him closer and went to whisper back in Snatch's ear. Snatch was unprepared to feel an especially wet and sloppy tongue clean all the crevasses in his ear, and as such yelped out loud and got himself a reprimand from Professor McGonagall.
Snatch had an idea what was going on and whispered to 'Ron' "Stop it Horny! If Tonks finds out about us, she's gonna kill me."
A clear and loud slap from 'Ron' and McGonagall gave both Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter detention. Tonks was just now realizing the sorts of trouble she could get Horny into.
"Professor McGonagall, I really don't think my detention is fair. It's Mr. Potter's fault for being so damn sexy I cannot control my urges."
Tonks' little plan backfired a bit as McGonagall agreed with her, retracted Mr. Weasley's detention, and instead gave Mr. Potter two detentions. Snatch was giving Tonks quite a scowl throughout the rest of the class.
There were many doodles in his notes that read some variation of "Nymphadorka" several times over.
When the bell rang, 'Mr. Weasley' ran out of the classroom and adopted a blonde-hair green-eyed well-developed look of a normal run-of-the-mill gorgeous stacked student. Snatch seemed to forgive her quickly as the pair kissed each other hard enough that Tonks' eyes rolled into the back of her head, and they both tipped over and fell down.
"Come on you two. I was worried the Headmaster had managed to negate his beacon, so be glad I'm relieved and not lecturing you on ruining Horny's education."
Snatch explained the Lair to the pretty blonde under his arm, and the three made it down after swinging past the Headmaster's office to ensure his beacon was still functional.
It appeared Horny had been working. The puddle seemed to have been turned into a clean, larger pool now, and some water slides were arranged around the large bust of Saladbar Slytherin. They briefly wondered where Horny and Cottontail were, until they heard an excited bleating and saw a wet goat come sliding out of Slytherin's mouth. An equally wet fox was biting down on one of the goat's horns in an attempt to keep her balance atop the goat's head. They catapulted up and off the goofy tongue that had been added to the bust and the two animals splashed down in the pool.
The smiling little animals paddled until they could set their paws and hooves down. Then they ran up to Tonks, Mini-Minnie, and Snatch and shook as much water as they could on the three others before transforming back.
"You guys have got to try that! It's awesome!"
The girls agreed it looked like great fun. Tonks transfigured her clothes into a provocative two piece lemon yellow bikini. And Mini-Minnie decided to be a cat and joined the fox, and they rode the goat down out the slide's mouth. Two running starts and they were squeals of delight as they came flying down the tongue.
The squeals of delight shifted in screams of abject horror. The three shocked animals quickly popped into their human and fully clothed forms. And all four seemed to suffer minor heart attacks as they smacked into, thudded, and thumped against the side of the 40-foot basilisk that nearly filled the entire pool.
They were all none too pleased with Snatch, though he was laughing his head off at their girlish screams and wet Hogwarts' robes. He was forced to turn into a snidget and fly away from them all for most of the rest of the afternoon.
"Wormy! You won't believe what my sister just told me!"
"I got great news to Bella. You first."
"My sister and her son are under Potter's protection! She says he's the greatest, kindest, most powerfulest, and wonderfulest Master in the world!"
"This is perfect! Crabbe and Goyle told me that they're spies for their new Master, Potter! At first I thought it was odd, that those two doofuses would be spies, but then I realized no one would ever suspect them! Then I thought they had to be really stupid to flat out tell me they were spies, unless they're actually really smart and Potter wants to talk to us at least!"
"This is brilliant! We have to write to Potter! Let's tell him to meet us at the Shrieking Shack in a couple days!"
"Sounds good. And remember Bella: Loyalty first, no backstabbing. Pinky swear with me."
They locked pinkies and shook on it. "I swear Wormy. Cissy said loyalty is the most important thing to her now. She kept skirting around talking about her Master, or how she approached him but I was able to connect the dots."
The next day at breakfast, Snatch was laughing, listening to the usual antics of the out and proud Pigwidgeon. "Come on boys reach out and grab me. Come on give me a squeeze. Touch me, touch me, touch me."
Snatch couldn't keep in the giggles when Pig sang falsetto "If you're fabulous and know it, raise your hand!" right as Ron reached up to grab the quick little bugger. "Oh I know you are, Mr. All-Over-Freckles. Okay, I got a letter for you. It's tied to my leg. Now grab it!"
Ron had managed to wrestle a semi-hold on Pig now. "No no! Not that leg. No no, not that one either. Come on…YES! That's the one! Grab and tug it! Tug it hard!"
Horny spoke up exasperatedly, "I swear he's been swimming in the lake again. Every time I grab him he's all wet." Snatch was just smiling and laughing. Horny looked over at Snatch, "Do I even want to know what he's saying?"
"Trust me. No, you don't." Horny nodded and figured that he didn't.
It was at this point Snatch was quite surprised to find himself the recipient of three different owls. He shared a little bacon with each one and took all three letters. He opened the first and was shocked at what he read.
Dear Potter,
We realize we are not exactly in your good graces, but we would like the opportunity to change that. You're a strong wizard who needs a stable group to support him and do all the little work. We would very much like to be a part of your group. Please meet us Saturday at 2:00 PM at the Shrieking Shack. We're prepared to swear oaths of loyalty and accept the punishment you deem us to deserve.
Sincerely,
Bellatrix
Lestrange & Peter Pettigrew
Harry was in a bit of shock. He turned to the next letter.
Dear Harry,
I know I have wronged you horribly. And I know I still owe you a Wizard's Debt. I am trying to start making up for it this Saturday. I have devised a plan to deliver Bellatrix straight into your hands. I meant it when I offered to swear an oath of loyalty. And feel I could be very useful to your future plans. Please do let any lingering hatred stop you from realizing the potential of an arrangement between us.
Humbly
yours,
Wormtail
P.S – If you know any tricks about how to fix a solid silver unmoving hand stuck to one's flesh it would be appreciated. Kinda stopped working the day after your birthday.
Harry was ready to start banging his head on the table. But he had a feeling that he might be better off waiting until he read the next letter and putting the self-flagellation off until then..
My Harry,
I long for your caress after the way you touched me at the Department of Mysteries. No man alive or reborn makes me tingle the way you did. And I feel you should justly give me some more punishment. I wish I could submit myself to you now and become another of your consorts. Yes I say another, because I know my sister Narcissa is lucky enough to count you as her Master. Punish me. And then allow me to give you the same loyalty and obedience you deserve. The best gift and olive branch I could extend to you was to trick Wormtail into walking right into this trap for you.
You just bring your wand and I'll bring the whips.
All my love and
delicious pain,
Bella
And now Harry was free to bang his head on the table some.
"Uh, Snatch? You okay? Bad news in the post?"
Snatch let out an almost evil laugh. "Naw, just typical fan mail." He'd decided to approach the Headmaster with this one, and keep it from his friends for now. Pranks were for friends. Pickles were for the old man. And Tonks had laid claim on most of the rest of the p-words.
At the end of the day, Mini-Minnie and Snatch hung outside of the Defense classroom until it was empty. They snuck in and ambushed Moony. Already stunned and wandless now, Snatch cast a leg-locker and a silencing charm on him in parseltongue.
Mini-Minnie shooed Snatch away and said she had work to do now.
When Moony came too, he was looking up at a gigantic Mini-Minnie. 'Wait no. She's not gigantic. I'm just tiny.'
"Welcome back to the land of the conscious, Mr. Mini-Moony."
Mini-Moony started to yell at her but found he had no voice.
"Yeah. Tough break on the voice. Same thing with your legs. Gotta restrict you some you know. And I owed you for tagging me Mini-Minnie for the rest of my Marauder life. I figured it would be fair leaving you control of your arms and upper body, but I couldn't have you running off. We'll fix you up tomorrow though, don't worry" She said with an evil smile.
Mini-Moony found he couldn't move his legs or talk and settled for flipping Mini-Minnie off.
"My, you can be so rude sometimes. With that attitude, I think Luna is just going to love her new doll."
Moony eye's widened comically and he just started flailing his arms around until he lost his balance and tipped over. He then proceeded to try and crawl away as fast as he could. Unfortunately even werewolf strength at this size means he's lucky to go as fast as someone walking.
Mini-Minnie picked up her Mini-Moony around his waist and went to go find Luna. Mini-Moony tried to bite her but she just flicked him in the head.
The still topless young blonde was ecstatic with her new toy. Mini-Minnie explained that he may try to write things and communicate with her, as the doll was temporarily possessed with the mischievous spirit of the real Mr. Moony, much like a wizarding portrait. But just treat him like a good doll and he'll be okay. Luna was disappointed that Mini-Minnie was going to need to take the doll back tomorrow, but planned to make tonight the most fun night of her life. Mini-Minnie suggested a leash and collar but warned her, the Mini-Moony doll hated silver.
Later that night, Snatch went to the Headmaster's office to see if he had any plans tomorrow at around 2:00 PM. The old man did, but decided that this particular peculiar pickle took precedent. They decided to just show up and wing it by ear.
On his way back to the Lair, Snatch could only laugh at the sight of a barely one foot tall topless Luna driving through Hogwarts' halls in a little pink convertible Corvette. Handcuffed to the passenger seat was a tiny Mr. Moony in a cowboy hat and assless chaps. Luna's squeals of joy even seemed to make Moony smile.
The next day at 2:00 PM, the Headmaster followed Harry into the Shrieking Shack. There, sitting on the couch playing checkers, was Bellatrix and Wormtail. They quickly stood and drew their wands and pointed them at the Headmaster.
"What is HE doing here?"
Harry goggled at the two Death Eaters. "Umm…he's one of my most loyal, isn't that right Albus?"
The Headmaster rolled his eyes and agreed.
"Insolence will not be tolerated! Kiss my feet Albus!"
The Headmaster gave Harry a very dirty look. Harry stared at him just as hard back. Finally the Headmaster conceded. He very reluctantly said "Yes Master." He got down on his knees, upon which much creaking and crackling in his old bones could be heard, and spit a little on both of Harry's feet.
This seemed to appease Bella and Wormtail and they relaxed and holstered their wands.
Harry slipped into his evil Dark Lord type mode. 'Enunciate all words like parseltongue is your native language and speaking in English is a tiresome bother to you. A little spittle is to be expected.'
"Ssssssoo tell me. What can you two do for me?"
"We want to join and serve you. We make excellent followers. Obviously we can service you sexually quite well." Bella seemed to be trying to talk herself up a bit.
Peter was going to have none of that. "And of course the most useful of us can become animagi and spy just about anywhere."
"Ssssssoo you think I'm just going to accept you after everything you two have done to me? And been a part of causing me to become what I am now?" Albus wasn't so sure Harry dragging out the word 'so' really constituted evil, but realized he could do nothing now. 'Goodness no, I need my Master's permission to speak up now.'
"Of course not Master. We know we deserve anything you choose to give us. We submit to your fealty and will do as you command." Bella pleaded with a wanton look on her face.
"And you Wormtail? Will you also do as I command?"
"Of course M-M-Master."
Albus's eyebrows jumped. 'He's got him stuttering already. This is kinda fun.'
"Excellent. Because you two have a lot of penance you owe me, before I will be able to trust you with even the most menial of taskssss. For now, you are to go quietly with Albus here, confess your previous crimes, and accept your life sssssentences to Azkaban."
Bella's eyes showed surprise and a healthy amount of fear.
"As soon as I feel you have paid your dues, I will either break you out myself or perhaps by then I will have arranged a more proper Ministry to free you legally."
Wormtail was shaking a bit now.
Harry took a step forward and yelled "My Bitches! Do you understand?"
Bella and Wormtail fell to their knees and both feebly mumbled, "Yes Master."
Albus looked over at Harry and could only smile. That was quite an impressive performance.
"Albus, my Bitch, take them away before I change my mind and just kill them now." He ended with snarl.
Albus lost his smile at that nickname and took Wormtail and Bella's wands. "Yes Master."
And the three popped away to the ministry.
When Harry returned to Hogwarts he found a nice full-size Moony, apparently still unable to talk or walk, but he did have his wand, and was trying to settle down an enraged Luna Lovegood. Luna was speaking in some foreign language that Harry had never heard before. Understanding the words or not, he could tell she was seriously pissed off at Remus. A few hand gestures that he thought might have been Italian, a slap across Moony's face, and Luna exclaimed something that sounded like "vàttel'a ppijà 'n der culo!" before she lowered her voice and hissed vehemently, "I fucking hate you worthless French knobgoblins!" and she spit on the floor awfully close to him. She then stormed off towards the Ravenclaw Common Room, snarling and mumbling "I can't believe I let him sleep in my bed."
Horny felt like it was over share time. "I felt the same way when I realized I'd been sleeping with Pettigrew for years!"
Moony looked over at Ron curiously. Mini-Minnie asked Snatch to counter his earlier spells and poor Moony was able to talk and walk again. "Geez thanks Snatch. You're too kind."
"Bah, you knew you were getting something when you named her Mini-Minnie."
"Yeah but I didn't know she was so mean. Maybe I should have just Marauder named her 'Vindictive Horse-faced Bitch' and cut out the cleverness."
A sharp hiss alerted Remus to the fact that that was a mistake. He apparently had gotten awfully used to being unable to voice his thoughts. Or maybe he forgot she was right there. Either way, he turned to run away right as she let her cattiness to the forefront, transformed with a pop and bit down hard on Moony's ass. Moony was running with a pissed off kitty firmly stuck to his rear end and screaming in pain. It's a shame Mini-Minnie had to breathe and couldn't stay attached.
Snatch could only laugh at the sight of a scared werewolf being chased down the hall by a little bloodthirsty kitty-cat.
Author's Note: If you trust a goofy website's translations, "vàttel'a ppijà 'n der culo!" is Italian for "Go and take it up your arse!"
