In this world we live in, there exists a mighty, mighty being.

Said mighty being is not native to the human world and was going a massive rampage, so the chosen had returned home in a noble attempt to stop him.

They failed miserably, and the human world now lay in ruins.

And with a ruined human world and a Miyako gone into full fangirl mode, we now bring you…

The tenth chapter of the penultimate bizarre digimon humor fic!

(Let it be noted that we wished to bring you the eighteenth chapter of V-Tamer, but FFN wouldn't accept it, and we couldn't find it anyway.)

Those who wish for harmony in the digital world, those who wish merely to rule for their own benefit, and those caught in the middle, perhaps searching for a reason for existence, perhaps going about their own lives ignoring the cosmic struggle, or perhaps living for a reason unrelated to good or evil.

"In other words, vaccine-type, virus-type, and data-type digimon, spoken of in a more flowery tone?" Koushirou asked, listening to Seiryu speak.

"Pretty much. Anyway, those who wish merely to rule for their own benefit are on the rampage again, and it will take Courage, Friendship, Love, Purity, Sincerity, Hope, and Light to defeat it…" The dragon god explained, and Koushirou looked rather sad.

"What the heck am I supposed to do then?"

"Come up with theories about the digital world?" The blue dragon of 1337ness said questioningly, having no idea what said chosen should do for this chapter.

Koushirou sighed dejectedly and began secretly either conquering earth or preserving the isolationism of the digital world, though it was secret and therefore could not be said by the narrator.

And so the war of legends began, a war which would cross two worlds and last an undetermined number of chapters. A war that, when concluded, would not stay true to form and produce either status quo ante bellum, instead merely have the results nullified utterly by the changing nature of the digital world, specifically its tendency to have apocalypses whenever the author has nothing better to do.

And so the war began, as a small fleet of Imperial Dramon utterly annihilated the armies of the human world's nations. (This is generally considered an act of war, but retaliating for acts of war is typically done when one has a military presence.)

And as a war for the fate of both worlds waged in the background, a shoujo-ai scene of great and terrible power finally happened!

But was it Angewokari, Hiyako, Miyami, or some other coupling entirely? And which chosen would it depress, leading them into a downward spiral that ended in them fighting on the side of Evil™? These questions and more would be answered eventually, but only eventually.

(Evil is a registered trademark of the Nightmare Soldier's Union.)

For now, the peace would begin! The peace which would shake the foundations of the world, the peace between Takari and Daikari forces that would bring so much destruction that it would make the dark masters look like the French army!

… Okay, it's a war, who am I kidding.

That said, love could divide even the strongest of hearts… And Hikari could never bear to hurt anyone, even as the bizarre love shape common in harem anime began to unfurl. And she could not always merely pretend not to care, let them fight over her because showing love to one of them would make the others so sad… Sure, it's worked in Tenchi Muyo and probably some other series, but one tends to need affection when Dagomon's trying to grasp your soul… And the Fushigi Yuugi route wouldn't work either, she knew them well enough, and she didn't want most of them killed off…

So she remained with a tormented soul, instead of being madly in love with Takeru like most would think, and Dagomon ended up stealing her away… And the argument over who would rescue her would in time engulf the world and spark this war…

But that would not be for ten more minutes… For now, for now they could just be at each other's throats, for now, the last few minutes would pass in relative chaos until the chosen children turned against each other.

Then they turned against each other, and it was bad.

There are some in this world who write exclusively Takari, who are convinced that Takeru and Hikari's love is nothing short of destined. And then there are those who seem to be writing the same couplings all the time, but those couplings are Sokeru and one-sided Angekeru, and no one wants to know what goes on in that person's mind.

I'm proud to say I'm the latter.

That last passage had nothing to do with the rest of the fic.

Back on topic, the war broke out and a lot of people died.

"Support Takari! It is destiny, and they have similar digimon!"

"Support Soyako! They were making puns on it all through the end of the world tour, and they have vaguely similar digimon!"

"No! Support Kenato, for they look hot together, even if their digimon are nothing alike!"

"What about just supporting Hiyako, Kensuke, Sokeru, Taito, and Joumi, based on canonical hintings?" The voice of reason asked, and was then shot down by an angry Guardromon.

So more and more digimon tried to kill each other, and one would get the impression that even if digimon used claws and flames instead of tanks and guns, they really weren't all that different then humans.

But now was not the time for war, despite the last page or so foreshadowing the opposite… No, now was the time for something far more interesting, something which would hopefully spoof the insane world that is digimon hentai, but more likely just be an excuse for the author to finally write a lemon scene.

But it would have to begin with a plot device, for even for humor purposes PWP fics were too horrible to spoof. And sadly, while "Were Garurumon was horny" is usually considered an acceptable plot device, there was no way at the moment for Gabumon to reach that form.

And while a cute shoujo-ai scene after one of the people involved saved the others from some horrible evil can also work well, it works better in lime form.

So there was only one plot that could truly work, only one way for a Kabuterimon/Mimi lemon could be done plausibly without the use of rape. But it's been done before, or so one believes, and therefore will not be written, as the author hates plagiarism, though overuse of commas is fine.

But love was truly powerful. A feeling which surpassed logic, which could summon up powerful phoenixes of flame, a feeling that gave great happiness to those who found it. And if they could figure out which of the chosen were in love and which were just being paired up by rabid shippers, then perhaps they would indeed save this world.

Phoenixes of ice are quite difficult to find, and phoenixes of thunder are just weird.

That said, it was easier to conquer the digital world with an army consisting solely of Numemon then to figure such a thing out. And so the twisted, convoluted, narrator-focused "plot" would have to end, and an amusing interaction would begin once more.

"Daisuke!" Miyako yelled, holding up a large, anti-Daisuke device. "WHAT were you doing with Hikari?"

"Is this a pathetic attempt for the characters themselves to fight a coupling war, even though the author detests Daikari and Takari?" The inheritor of courage and friendship asked, and then was smote.

"Probably. Wanna raid the dark ocean?"

"I would, but I have Ken over soon, for… Something." Daisuke answered, pitifully attempting to hide the Kensuke-ness.

Then Jureimon's philosophy rang true and they fought to the death over Takeru, Hawkmon, Ken, or Hikari, depending on who you ask. (Though it was really Hikari)

When it ended, the fic was still far, far away from anything coherent.

But the author's humor had dried up, so incoherence would have to rule, and the chapter would have to be uploaded.

Or would it? Unwanted yaoi scenes are inherently funny, filler was needed, and what better filler was there then a PWP Daikeru lemon?

There was none. But it would be easier to milk having the twelve chosen and four dark masters war among themselves for control of the digital world, so that would instead be the scene.

"I claim this corpse in the name of spain!" Miyako yelled, planting the Iberian flag in a dead Tyrannomon.

"No! He has fallen on my side of the border!" Daisuke shot back, sticking a flag with a V-mon on it in the Tyrannomon!

"But his corpse gives valuable natural resources to the war effort, and we have a bigger army!"

Unable to argue with the logic of "we have a bigger army", most would back down. Daisuke, however, spoke of the value of the crest of courage, and more importantly, his alliance with Ken and the destructive power of an Imperial Dramon.

Miyako then opened her shirt. On a male, especially one like Daisuke, this should have a profound distracting effect, and while he attends to the nosebleed the female can follow up by bringing death.

But with the possible exception of late 02 Hikari, the females among the chosen make Lina Inverse look busty. So Daisuke was unaffected, and Miyako was twitching fearfully as she faced down the antimatter dragon.

Then, the animator had a heart attack, and Imperial Dramon died. Miyako then killed the author for making such a lame Monty Python reference and uploaded the chapter for him.