Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
CHAPTER NINETEEN – Ghost in the Half Shell
"Potter! Did you just resurrect me as your new Lord and Master?"
"That'd be a negative Tom." Harry said with a roll of his eyes.
"Then what the dickens is going on?"
"Yeah about that. It was umm not exactly part of the plan. While I'm thinking of it, does anyone know how to kill a ghost?"
Tom raised his hand patiently. "I do." He lowered his hand and floated quietly in place.
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Are we going to share with the rest of the group?"
Tom looked over at Sirius and frowned. "Nope. You just want it to kill me. Again."
Harry nodded. "I'll admit that was my first intention. Although Tom you seem especially well-mannered and do not seem to mind your muggle name anymore. Care to comment?"
Tom blushed as well as a ghost could blush. "Oh yeah. That reminds me. I'm supposed to apologize to you Potter. So," Tom cleared his throat a bit. "Harry, I'm like, I'm sorry or whatever." Tom had lowered his head and was looking away now though you could see his bottom lip extended in a frown.
Ron was looking at the former Dark Lord as if his great grandfather had just asked Ron to oil up his back. 'I was afraid of this guy?' While Ginny's bottom lip was quivering imagining the Tom Riddle that never got to be. 'Oh good lord I have serious issues.'
Harry's eyes were wide and getting wider. He was looking at Tom with no clue what to do. "Sirius! Thank Merlin you're here. This is totally a parent or godfather type question. I'd always thought that you should always accept an apology whenever they seem genuine. But does that rule still apply even if it's an apology for murdering thousands and terrorizing a nation, as well as hunting me all my life, killing my parents, and trying to kill me more times than I can count right now?"
Sirius looked blankly at Harry. "Oh crap. Where's Moony?"
"Hey! You're my godfather! This is your territory."
"Alright, alright. I guess the whole idea of always accepting is kinda important. I know it's not the same as forgiving, but you should still accept it. Although it seems like there's gotta be a limit to how far you can push things. Genocide has to carry some sort of special circumstances. Then again, the whole point of taking the high road-"
"Oh for god's sake Sirius you're useless." Harry interrupted with a frustrated tinge to his voice.
Sirius let out a loud sigh and smiled and nodded at Harry. "Yeah I really am. It was drunken prank Prongs pulled on me naming me godfather. I never did get him back for that."
Harry turned to Tom and stomped his foot like a petulant child. "Fine I accept or whatever. But you gotta tell me what the hell brought this on. And shouldn't you have been in hell? Eternal damnation? Suffering? Your soul destroyed or eradicated for being evil? Something?"
Tom got a disgusted look on his face. "Oh man I was in hell. It was horrible. I met my mom for the first time and, man, was she pissed at me! I've been listening to her rant and moan and whine and annoy me since I hopped through the veil."
Harry couldn't stop the big smile breaking out over his face.
"The other kids she compared me to," Tom said shaking his head. "You'd think I was the worst son ever."
Hermione mumbled quietly, "Certainly top ten."
Tom continued not noticing the interruption, "And don't get me started on her opinion of you. She created a Harry Potter Fan Club down there in hell. And of course every single one of my dead followers is a charter member. Pfft. And they wonder why I killed them.
"Anyways, part of my rehabilitation involves confronting and apologizing. So sorry and stuff. I'm supposed to play the goody goody floofy little rainbow riding happy fairy now. I swear. Some people simply can't forgive a little penchant for genocide and world domination. It's not like being a Dark Lord wasn't a lot of fun. But noooooo…" Tom was finishing with a particularly sarcastic voice.
Hermione decided it was time to assess the situation. "So you jumped through the veil? That's how you died?"
Tom nodded. Hermione explained, "And because of Harry's connection with you through the Avada Kedavra curse, when he was pulling back Sirius from the veil, he pulled you too."
Tom's eyes went wide and he smiled. "Potter intentionally called us back? Why you dirty little necromancer you!"
"And now it seems the two of you are bound to me until I die." Harry closed his eyes and sighed. "Oh man Tonks is going to kill me."
"Why would my cousin…oh Harry! Damn, you go boy! So who'd you make her turn into first?"
Harry blushed. "It's not like that. I don't make her do anything. Although so far she has been Ron, Prince William, Voldemort, and me."
Ron and Tom both snapped their heads towards Harry. Hermione got a dreamy look on her face thinking about the Prince of 'Wails'. Harry quickly corrected himself "Err, that's not … I mean… she's done that when we were snogging and stuff."
Ginny seemed to be a voice of reason. "Perhaps we can continue this conversation at the Lair. We sorta are still trespassing and breaking and entering here. Not to mention any illegal magics."
This snapped the new Marauders into motion, and Tom and Sirius followed Harry. They made their way out of the Ministry and were glad to find the thestrals were still at the dumpster buffet across the street. Harry had to convince them they really needed to go now, and the thestrals flew them back to Hogwarts.
Along the ride back, Harry was filling in Sirius on the majority of the events since his death. He explained his meeting with the 'Minister', while Tom had the sense to look a bit ashamed. Though hearing about the growth spurt made some sense to Tom. Harry told him about how they were the new Marauders, and their nicknames and animagus forms. Tom was quite jealous of Harry's basilisk form. Harry explained McGonagall's breakdowns and Hermione's day teaching. He told him Moony was teaching DADA and Luna's brief crush on him. Harry was trying to remember everything worth noting. They explained the Lair that Tom was quite excited to hear about. Just as they arrived in it, Harry was explaining how Snape had been busted, and shown to have been neither loyal to the Order or Tom. Tom had figured as much. Harry felt like he was forgetting something else.
As they were relaxing in their study area in the Lair, Sirius thought to ask, "So who's teaching Potions now then?"
Harry smacked himself in the forehead. "That's what I forgot to mention! Your cousin, Narcissa Malfoy, became my house elf Cissy. And my Cissy is teaching Potions." Sirius stopped moving. "And her house elf Poncy, her son Draco, is also her assistant."
And for the first time in Sirius's existence as a ghost, he was shocked senseless. His mouth was opening and closing but no words made it out. Tom waved his hand in front of Sirius with no response. Tom was quite surprised when he went to stick his hand through Sirius's head that they were corporeal to each other and he managed to smack him across the face.
"Ow. What was that for?"
"Sorry, we lost you there for a minute." Tom said with a shrug.
Sirius scrunched his eyes closed and was patting the top of his head. Apparently to keep this information from slipping out as he processed it. He took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay."
Sirius took another deep breath and opened his eyes. "So what now?"
Harry got his evil smile. "So now we have another Marauder to help us catch up on the mayhem we missed due to that bugger over there." Harry said while pointing at Tom. Tom had a sheepish look and shrugged. He couldn't exactly argue that point or deny it.
"So I was thinking we continue along our merry way and do some pranks. Sirius I know you're game without even asking. But Tom, would you be up some fun? I guarantee Albus will be good for a laugh. If we do it right, we might get a heart attack too. Though we'd better avoid McGonagall. I'm pretty sure it could kill her."
Tom put on his Slytherin face and pretended to be weighing the options in his head. He gave up with a resigned smile. "It's not like I have anything else to do. And it's better than listening to mom bit-eeeooow! Something just pinched me!"
Sirius snickered. "I think that was your mum. Lils told me that when they tried really hard the dead can reach out to ghosts." Sirius went a bit cross-eyed. "Okay and I think Prongs just picked my nose."
Sirius smiled. "And now Lils is massaging my…owwwwww shit Prongs! I was kidding!"
The next day at lunch, Hermione was going to talk to Professor McGonagall, keep her busy and away from lunch, and find out once and for all if she was the old her.
Harry asked Cissy to make a special dessert for each of the other staff members. Harry said he would take care of Professor Dumbledore, Professor Lupin, and Professor McGonagall. And they would keep the desserts hidden under separate large covered serving dishes. All with cards from 'Cissy and friends.'
The next day at lunch, the staff members were extremely worried at the sight of special dishes hidden from there eyes. They all ate lunch carefully and were checking all the foods and immediate area for spells. At Cissy's eager smile and urging, Professor Flitwick slowly uncovered a gorgeous looking turtle cheesecake. He exhaled happily and took a bite. A loud 'Mmm' and a thumbs up eased many staff members worries. Albus and Remus were still on their guard though. Professor Sinistra eagerly found a large chocolate mousse. And Professor Sprout was delighted by her spotted dick. Albus wearily realized he had to face the music at some point. He slowly lifted the lid, and found nothing. He was looking at the empty serving dish curiously, when out of nowhere Tom Riddle's ghostly floating head appeared. He smiled devilishly at the Headmaster and yelled out "I'm back!"
And for the first time that week, the Headmaster let out a loud piercing girlish scream. He jumped backwards out of his seat. When Tom Riddle smirked at Albus and shook his head saying "Really Albus," the old man passed out completely. Tom disappeared before anyone else took too much notice of him. Remus ran over to the Headmaster. He found Albus was in fact breathing. Remus reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a nearly full bottle of firewhiskey. He propped Albus's head up, poured a mouthful in his mouth, and covered his mouth and nose forcing the Headmaster to swallow. Moony repeated this over eight times before the Headmaster woke back up coughing and hacking. Albus calmly got up and went to his office. He needed some liquor from his special stash now.
Remus went back to his seat and saw all the other teachers had uncovered their desserts and were eating them. He was pretty sure he saw the Dark Lord appear on Albus's plate so he was a bit apprehensive about his own. It was the only uncovered one left and finally his curiousity got the better of him. He lifted it and saw nothing. That quickly changed when Padfoot appeared with a giant smile and yelled "MOONY!" Remus's body wavered back and forth for a second before he too fell to the ground limp in a faint.
