Disclaimer: Stargate: SG1 is not mine, because if it were people would be confused constantly and that'd be funny…

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but I didn't like the direction this story was going and I practically rewrote the whole thing. I hope you all like the changes in it.

A/N2: This is an A/U fic, meaning that Jack already knew everyone and had been in the Stargate Program before Charlie died.

I met a girl by the lake

A child cries loudly as it's handed to its father, a proud smile lights up his face as he stares down at his newborn son, "He's beautiful." He whispers kissing his wife on the forehead as he hands her the child.

She had lost her way having never been there before. I shared my lunch with her and she changed my life.

"Charlie." She whispers pressing her lips to the baby's forehead.

10 Years Later

"Sarah?" Jack called out as he climbed out of his truck, "Charlie?"

He frowned finding the yard empty, the front door and windows closed against the heat of the day. A gun shot echoed throughout the yard from the upstairs bedroom. Jack startled and froze for a brief moment then raced for the door, pulling it open before the echo even stopped. He took the stairs two at a time reaching the open door to the master bedroom. A little body lay strewn across the floor gasping and choking for breath.

"Charlie!" Jack gasped dropping to his son's side and pressed his hands against the gaping wound in his chest.

Sarah cried leaning fully against the wall farthest from Jack and Charlie. A small handgun fell from her hand as she sunk to the ground.

"Call 9-11!" Jack shouted over his shoulder as he struggled to keep calm, struggled not to put two and two together.

Sarah stared at Charlie numbly her hands itching at the gun by her side.

"Stay with me Charlie, stay with me. Sarah!" Jack cried tears springing to his eyes, "Please!"

"D…daddy…" Charlie gasped reaching up to Jack's face with a blood soaked hand, "…hurts…" Tears started to stream down his face as his hand fell back to the floor.

"I know it does," Jack found himself sobbing, "Just hang on, you'll be okay."

"I'm… sorry." Charlie coughed grabbing onto Jack's hand, "…mad… at me?"

Jack shook his head, "No Charlie, I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad." He whispered, the sound of a click overpowered his son's raspy breaths. He turned his head just as Sarah raised the gun to her temple, "Sarah!" And pulled.

Almost One Year Later

Jack flopped down on the lone bench in the small park and set down the empty beer bottle in front of himself.

A familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts, "That stuff will kill you, you know?" A man in his late twenties sat down on the bench next to him.

"Let it." Jack grunted looking away from the man who seemed to be stuck in the early 90's with his light brown mullet, blue jeans, and brown leather jacket.

Mac leaned back against the bench, "You don't mean that."

Jack grunted grabbing his beer and took a long drink from it as to prove his point.

Sighing, Mac turned away, "Everyone's worried about you." He said softly watching the empty horizon, "They're afraid you'll-"

"Kill myself?" Jack said pulling the bottle from his lips, "Ironic huh?" There was a bite of sarcasm in his voice.

Mac's eyes slid over to Jack, "What is?"

Jack finished his beer, "She showed no signs…" He rolled the bottle over in his hands, "She took my soul and left my body here to rot."

"Jack," Mac said slightly grimacing at the mental image he got from Jack's words, "I know you're hurting, and what happened to you no one should ever have to go through."

"Ya think?" Jack spat.

Mac continued, "In time you'll be alright."

Alright… No, he'd never be alright again. He dropped his head in his hands again, he felt drunk, and his soul was bleeding.

"Even though you may not think so now."

Jack lifted his head from his hands sending a watery, red-rimmed glare at Mac and stood up on unsteady legs. Mac sighed looking away as Jack walked off with his hands shoved in the pockets of his coat.

His life was crumbling apart and falling in-between the cracks of existence. His beautiful son was dead; his marriage was dead, and soon…

He didn't want to be found right away, but eventually, so he locked himself in his office and pulled out Daniel's personal handgun. He had stolen it from Daniel's desk knowing that he'd come looking for it sooner or later. He didn't know, nor did he care, why the archeologist carried a gun but figured it had to do with their off world missions every now and then.

The gun had been cold to the touch, the metal shiny and practically new looking, but now it was warm and he was slightly saddened that once he was finish it would no longer have that new look to it. The hammer was pulled back, the barrel pressed to the warm flesh of his temple, and his index finger tensed on the trigger.

Daniel paused in front of the Colonel's office door and knocked, "Hey Jack, have you seen my-" The words died in his throat at the sound of a gun firing inside the small office. He tried the doorknob finding it locked and began to panic pounding on the door and screaming, "Jack? Jack! Open the door! Open the door damn it!"

"He was giving up." Daniel said sadly still in shock from what they had found, his eyes wandered over the mound of gauze and tubes sticking up from Jack's face.

"He just grazed the skin," Doctor Fraiser informed the group standing in the infirmary, "I'm guessing that when you knocked," She looked to Daniel, "You startled him just enough that he missed."

The group was silent as all eyes turned to the unconscious form of Jack O'Neill. A few crimson spots had managed to soak through the gauze just above his eyes.

"Keep me posted on his condition." General Hammond told Doctor Fraiser before leaving the infirmary.

Sam moved over to Jack's bedside and pulled up a chair, as did Daniel. They sat in silence as Janet checked over Jack's stats one last time.

"It's scary," Sam started watching Janet check Jack's bandages, "That he'd do something like this. I've known the man for almost a year now and he never seemed like the type to… to do this." She finished weakly.

Daniel nodded, "Nothing this traumatic had ever happened to him though," He pulled off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, "I mean, he lost his son and his wife in the same year."

Sam frowned, "He said Sarah had been going through a hard time at work, but nothing could excuse her for what she did."

Janet moved next to them, "Looks like he's coming around." She said examining the charts.

There was a long silence and then Jack's hand twitched and slowly his eyes opened.

"Maybe it's for the better sir," Sam said just out of earshot of the others, "I mean," She continued noting the thoughtful look on the General's face, "He doesn't know anymore…" She trailed off lamely having decided against her argument at the look Jack was giving everybody.

"And that Major," Hammond spoke softly averting his eyes from Jack to hers, "Could be a very bad thing."

The Colonel had woken up ten minutes earlier without a clue as to who anyone in the room was. His speech was slow and slurred but Doctor Fraiser had said there was nothing to worry about, despite the fact that she had sounded a little worried herself.

Sam nodded, "I know sir. If he suddenly remembered, or has memories of his family before…" She took a deep breath through her nose, "The effects could be devastating."

"Well," Hammond sighed, "Keep me posted on his condition." He directed to Janet as she walked by.

"Yes sir." Janet said returning to Jack's bedside and injected his I.V with a painkiller, "This should help your headache." She smiled sadly capping the needle and put it in her pocket to throw away later.

"Thanks." He mumbled quietly.

"So," Daniel started having pulled up a chair on the other side of the bed, Jack rolled his eyes over to him, "You don't remember… anything?"

"That you're," Jack said tiredly, "Very annyoing" He closed his eyes turning away.

Daniel made a face as he looked up at Janet who was trying not to show her amusement at Jack's answer, "It's the painkillers," Daniel nodded climbing to his feet, "I'm sure the amnesia is short term, just let him rest right now."

Jack woke up several hours later to an empty room, well an almost empty room. A man stood at the back of the room looking at different things on the counter. From what Jack could see he had slightly long dark brown hair and was dressed in a brown leather jacket, blue jeans, and white tennis shoes. Jack cleared his throat and the man turned to him, smiled sheepishly, and walked over.

"Hey," The man greeted pulling up a seat, "You're awake finally."

Several questions ran through Jack's mind but the one to come out was, "How long was I out for?"

"Two hours."

Jack nodded raising his eyebrows briefly, "Oh… Do I know you?"

This seemed to upset the man a little, "Yea," He nodded, "We met about a year ago, my name's Mac."

"Oh," Jack sighed, "Sorry, mind's still a little fuzzy."

"So you're feeling better?"

Jack shrugged, "Got a nail in the head, but unfortunately the amnesia's going away." He frowned, his eyes ticking over to the door just behind Mac, "How'd you get in here anyways?" He changed the subject bringing his eyes back to the man beside him, "I mean, how'd you know I was here? I never told you I worked here."

"I have my ways." Mac replied climbing to his feet, "I should get going," He tilted his head towards the door as he turned, "Your friends should be coming back soon."

"Wait!" Jack called after him, "I still want to know exactly how you got in here."

"I'll be back later." Mac said vanishing out the door.

Daniel and Sam appeared in the doorway shortly after, they both smiled and approached his bedside when they noticed he was awake.

"How are you feeling Sir?" Sam asked.

Jack frowned, "Aside from the odd conversation I had with Mac, I've got a nail in the head."

"Who's Mac?" Daniel spoke up glancing over at Sam.

"A friend, he left just before you came in." Jack shrugged.

Daniel's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "I didn't see anybody walk out of your room."

Jack shrugged again, "He has his ways." He said as if it was the most obvious thing.

"But I'm pretty sure I didn't-"

"We probably just missed him," Sam cut in giving Daniel a quick look.

"That's gotta be it." Daniel said slowly trying to hide his confusion.

Jack eyed the two warily, he raised his hand covering his eyes, "No, I don't wanna know."

Sam looked at Jack in confusion, "Sir?"

"Nothing." Jack moved his hand.

Janet walked in and smiled, "I take it he's awake," Jack nodded giving her a sarcastic glare, "Remembering anything?" She continued.

There was a moment of silence as everyone turned their eyes to Jack, "Yea," He said softly, "I can remember the fight I had with Sarah the day before she…" He trailed off turning his head away from everyone.

A/N: Please Review!