Okay, this is just a stupid idea I came up with one day. It seems like it would be a one chapter FanFic, but I WILL BE UPDATING IT! Thanks!

Disclaimer: No I do not own Jerry Springer and or related characters. I also do not own Harry Potter and or related characters. (Although sometimes I wish I owned Sirius. wink wink)

ALSO: I know that this isn't the correct type of writing or anything, but that's how they really talk on Jerry Springer!

Ch 1: Episode1: "Will you get out of my life?!"

Jerry Springer music in background.

Crowd: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jerry Springer: "Hello everybody and welcome to Jerry Springer! Today our guests are here to tell people their stalkers to go away! Our first guest is a young lady by the name of Lily Evans, who says that one of her classmates, James Potter, is practically obsessed with her. And here she is!"

Jerry Springer music. Crowd clapping.

Jerry Springer: "Hello Lily, and how are you doing today?"

Lily: "Good, thanks. And you?"

Jerry Springer: Good, good. Now, why are you here today?"

Lily: "Well, there's this guy that goes to my school, James Potter, and he's practically obsessed with me. He follows me around all the time, and asks me to go out with him at least 3 times a week."

Jerry Springer: "And what's so bad about that?"

Lily: "He's a player. He sleeps with a different girl every week, and he's only 16! All he wants from me is a couple of good snogs, a jump on a bed, and to add me to his list of girls like a trophy! I'm sorry, but I think that a man needs to appreciate me more than that!"

Woman in crowd: You know thas right, gurl!"

Jerry Springer: "And you're here to tell him that?"

Lily: "Yes."

James Springer: Then lets bring him out! Everybody, here's James Potter!"

Jerry Springer music.

Crowd: Booooo! Boooo!

James doesn't say anything, just calmly walks down the stairs and sits down.

Jerry Springer: "Hi there James!"

James: "Hi"

Jerry Springer: "I think Lily has something to say to you."

Lily: "James, you need to get out of my life! I've told you a million times, but it never seems to get that thick skull of yours! I'm sick and tired of you always following me around, even though you know that I'm never going to go out with you!"

James stares at his feet.

Jerry Springer: James, do you have anything to say?"

James looks up with watery eyes.

James: "Lily, I know that I probably have about the worst impression of all the guys in the school to you, but it was all a mistake. I really like you Lily! I thought that you might notice that I don't follow any other girls around. That I haven't had a girlfriend for two months. That I don't want anybody but you Lily, not anybody! I want so bad to be able to call you my Flower, to be able to tell you I love you every second of every day! And I only want you to understand. Please Lily, please!"

Now it was Lily's turn to stare at her shoes.

Lily: "I cant, James, I just cant."

James: "But why?"

Lily: "Because I don't want to be used by you. It scares me. I just can't trust you. Not yet."

Their eyes meet and stay locked.

Jerry Springer: "Well, it s time for a commercial, but we'll be right back!"

Now it's the end of the show, and people in the audience are making comments.

Person in audience: I have a comment about Lily and James. Lily, gurl, he really is sincere. He's telling the truth, or else he wouldn't be getting that emotional. I just hope that you realize that and at least give him a chance.

Crowd: "Whooooo!"

Jerry Springer: "Well, that's all the time we have for today. I hope that you all get your relationships sorted out, good luck to ya!"

SO?!!! Please Review!!!!!!!!!!! Suggestions are welcome! I need more ideas!