Okay people, slight explanation needed of this chapter. You'll probably notice, that time's skipped a bit. I did that, because I wanted to speed up the pace of the story a little. And rather then having another two chapters, one on each day, I decided to do a fun kind of personal POV thing, and also get the action I wanted in as well. That means I haven't fitted in exact accounts of each day, but I've tried my best to give you hints about the interesting stuff that's happened, and again, to bring on the fun stuff! I've nearly finished writing the next chapter, so that'll be up as soon as possible. Enjoy!
Telana looked over the team as they sat around the campfire, a genuinely warm smile upon her face.
"It is my pleasure, to witness you all here. There are a few." Here she glanced to Aranis beside her. "Who thought that perhaps you wouldn't make it… but of course here you are, on your last night. And I am happy to say that you have been such great participants."
Rodney adjusted his makeshift leaf-boa rather obviously at that comment, exchanging looks with his fellow leaf-wearers, John and Carson.
"There is but one more thing we would ask of you though."
Carson gave a rather audible groan, which was followed by laughter from the others. Once it had subsided, Telana continued with a warm smile and a raised hand. "No fear, it is no more clowning around, or hunting, or cooking. No, it is simply this." Nodding to Aranis, small booklets were passed among the team. "The final part of the ritual, is to note down your thoughts of the past three days. You may write anything you wish, as they will be burned tomorrow in the closing ritual, to signify the closing of your old life, and your new one as honorary Alonins."
Elizabeth's eyebrows rose at that, gladly taking the booklet in her hands. "Well, that sounds like a great idea. There's certainly a few things that have been running through my mind." Idly she glanced at Rodney, before she smiled towards Telana. "Would you mind if we started this now?"
"No, of course not." Telana replied amicably, sending a general nod to them. "Please, I ask that you of course fill them in now. We will be observing the early morning as always."
As Telana moved off, the team rose themselves, each clutching their new gifts as if they already contained personal secrets. As they moved off to their separate huts, Elizabeth nudged Rodney gently.
"Looks like you put a lot of effort into your costume Rodney."
Rodney ignored her obvious smirk and rolled his eyes. "That's easy for you to say, you and the other women didn't have to dress up and sing."
Elizabeth laughed softly, fingering the leaf-boa around his neck. "I was tempted to join in, but I didn't want to spoil your show for the Alonins. They really seemed to enjoy the song."
Rodney snorted as they stepped inside the tent, yanking the boa off his shoulders. "Here, you can have it if you want. It'll suit you more."
"Oh, thank you Rodney." Elizabeth replied warmly, wrapping the rope around her neck, and arranging the attached leaves. "I feel very… star-like all of a sudden."
Rodney just laughed at that, slumping down on the floor. "Anyway, guess we'd better get on with these then. Umm…" He glanced up to Elizabeth as she clambered into the hammock. "What do you think we have to write?"
"I don't think it matters really Rodney, they're getting burned in the morning, so… whatever comes to mind I suppose."
With that, Elizabeth settled back and started to write with the charcoal that had been offered to them.
Rodney stared down at the blank booklet, before emitting a heavy sigh.
'I'm not even really sure what to write…I can't believe I just wrote that… and that… damn. Start again Rodney.
Okay, that's better. Now, what to write about? I had a diary once. My sister read it and told everyone at school that I liked to pretend I was James T. Kirk and got to kiss all these women. Pfft, like that would ever be true… I mean everyone knows that Spock was the cooler out of the two. Anyway, right yes, the past three days. Hmm, perhaps a logical approach is required. So, lets start with day one.
Day One
Right. Yes, we went hunting. It was strangely fun, for a barbaric activity that requires a vast amount of time walking around in wilderness and sneezing a lot. I have to admit that it was a lot more fun with Elizabeth though, especially when we found those invisible fish. Well, I say, uh write, invisible, technically they had these scales that actually reflected sunlight, so in the water they appeared to be invisible. We had a lot of fun catching them, slipping around in the water. Elizabeth got a bit agitated, but she's been like that lately anyway. I suppose it can't be helped, what with everything that's happened. Which is mostly my fault…anyway, I was talking about day one. Actually, day one started at the base, with Elizabeth telling me that Jane would be coming on the mission. Not to mention Carson. Surprise, surprise that they've wangled ahut together. I think not! Not that I'm jealous, he's welcome to her. She always psycho babbled. I mean that's beyond annoying.
Lets see, apart from hunting, nothing much else happened. We hunted, oh but we didn't eat. Well we did, just these weird, mossy… uh, makes me feel sick even thinking about it.
Day Two
Ah yes, much more fun! Well, marginally to be honest. We got to cook our spoils, as a feast for the Alonins. I left Elizabeth to go hunting for herbs, since well…I haven't cooked ever. I mean, just because I like a lot of food doesn't mean I know how to cook it. Miss goody-pants Heightmeyer of course turns out to be the height of haute cuisine and she and Carson win that one. Hah, watching John trying to cook with what turned out to be diuretic herbs was pretty funny, not half as funny as watching him run to the forest to take a whiz every five minutes though. At least the Alonins are smart enough to know their own herbs. Come to think of it, they did mention something about plants on the outskirts of the forest. I'm kind of glad I didn't pick out that colorful blue mushroom now, although it might have created some entertainment. Oh yes, entertainment. That comes tomorrow, well, today. I'll talk about that in a moment.
Lets see, after the feast, and the cooking, we spent the rest of the day learning some of the Alonin's history and culture. That whole 'goddess' thing still seems iffy to me. I wanted to go and check out the Temple, all covert and spy-like, but Elizabeth wouldn't let me. She can be a real spoilsport sometimes. But she has been brilliant to me, and we talked a lot that night. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe this 'friends' thing isn't as bad as it was feeling before. I mean so what if we never go past that? Samantha Carter and that sarcasm-king O-Neill have never got past that. Yeah, I knew. As if anyone who spends even half a second in that base doesn't see what's going on between those two. Not to say that if I didn't feel the way I did for Elizabeth I wouldn't stand a chance, but… never mind, justifying myself to a diary doesn't seem to have much point.
Day Three a.k.a Today!
Ah yes, joy of all joys. I hope to burn these memories from my mind along with this book tomorrow morning. We awoke, as usual, at the joyous Earth time of probably oh, 4am? Of course this planet has sunlight nearly all the time, so really its probably like 7am. My clock is going to be so screwed when we get back to Atlantis. Actually, who am I kidding? I hardly ever sleep anyway. Hope Elizabeth didn't see that, she nags me enough about getting enough sleep as it is. As if I really want to sleep and relive those nightmares. Hmm, what was I writing about? Ah yes. Day three dawns. Another bit of history, this time military in a sense, with Teyla and John going 'ooh' and 'ahh' a lot at fancy dance moves from Aranis and her fellow dance troupe. With pointy sticks to boot as well. Almost wish I wasn't burning this, I've actually got some good comments… anyway. Had dinner, and then task for the day… entertainment. I mean what the hell of a challenge is that I thought? Easy peasy, I just think up a few jokes or something. Hell, I used to have the whole of Antarctica laughing back on Earth. Well, most of my team anyway, for at least a few seconds. Come to think of it, ah, never mind. Anyway, my plans are soon shattered, because we have to do it in groups. I mean Elizabeth's great, and I love her, but she's not really a great comedic sidekick is she? Just doesn't have the sense of timing. Although it turned out it was actually going to be the men against women, some various comments being passed around about how men could never win on their own and so forth… I'd certainly agree in Carson's case, I mean Jane's been winning everything for him!
So entertainment we think. My idea of jokes is soon shot down by John, apparently I just can't deliver one properly. Hah! More likely he just doesn't understand my wit, too highly evolved for him. Aranis gave us a good nudge, something about comedy group, which leads to clowns and… unfortunately bypasses it. Seriously, I would have rather done the whole 'custard pie' routine, then this of all things.
John, oh smart one that he is, decides that we should do the ultimate comedy act for guys; guys dressed as women. Apparently, because of the audience, it would go off without a hitch. In hindsight, I should've brought a Wraith stunner and shot him right there. Me and Carson could have said it was part of the routine, and stood on each others feet a couple of times. The Alonins seem to be easily amused. But no, me and Carson gave in. That wimp. So, we start to make our costumes, and practice our voices. Me and Carson are relegated to 'backing singers'. I mean, how dare he! I was in my school choir for a whole week, until Sarah Turner decided she wanted to join the Science Club instead; girl after my own heart.
Next thing I know, I'm wearing a boa made from leaves, wig of grass, and have plant dye on my lips. I can only thank the universe that there wasn't a tree producing high heels as a side-fruit. Now, humiliation itself you would think? Not until you hear the song that John picks. 'I Will Survive'. Unfortunately it was the only song we all knew the words too. John and Carson no doubt sing it together in their spare time, I of course simply picked it up as a bypass disease from having a sister.
I can honestly say, I have never been so embarrassed in all my life! And I've had some embarrassing moments I can tell you. From basic 'losing trunks in swimming pool', through 'getting locked out of dorm room naked', and onwards to having certain natural 'abilities' derided in public. And I can say, out of all of those, even having my Twilight Zone fan-knowledge shot-down publicly, was nothing compared to a mere hour ago.
The only good thing to come out of it, was seeing Elizabeth laugh so much. She hadn't looked that happy in some time. I mean right now, she's sat behind me…thank God, she's not looking over my shoulder… anyway, yes wearing that leaf boa, and, well I have to admit, she looks good. So good in fact, that thing I said before, about it maybe not being so bad us just being friends? Scrap it. It sucks. Right now I want to turn around and jump on top of her, even with animal dye still on my lips. Hmm, that doesn't sound like me, must be this climate or something…'
John flopped down on to the floor, arranging his feather boa into a makeshift pillow. With a sweeping movement, he spread the dye from his lips to his cheek, and then took hold of his charcoal. Idly he glanced to Teyla, curious as he watched her set to her own task. When she glanced over to him with raised eyebrows, he merely grinned, before glancing back to his booklet.
'Okay then, so here I go… haven't written in a diary ever I don't think. Was never really good at keeping up with them. Kind of a 'girl' thing in some ways. But, maybe it would be good. There's been a few things on my mind lately after all.
I mean last week for a start, oh boy was that a lot of turmoil. Teyla was amazingly sweet, and arranged a birthday party for me, complete with very cool Ferris wheel model! That's already got its place in my room, it even moves a little if a blow on it. Anyway, right, last week. Rodney and Elizabeth, Rodney and Jane, Carson and Jane. I kinda feel like me and Teyla are the only sane ones left. I can only thank God that we didn't have a Wraith attack, we'd have to say 'sorry, can you wait while we work out these many love triangles?'
It's one of the main reasons why the past few days have been so stressful. Elizabeth made a dangerous decision to have Carson and Jane come along, who knows what's happened with them sharing a tent.. saying that, who knows what's happened with Rodney and Liz sharing one! I'm starting to worry that Atlantis is turning into one of those weird daytime soap operas. I'd rather spend a week with Steve then have that happen.
The three days here have been pretty cool though. It's felt good to be outdoors, and actually doing proper physical stuff again. No flying or anything of course, but hunting was actually fun. Apart from that weird pig thing of course, I've still got bruises from it… and Teyla was amazing at hunting. Not to mention cooking. We'd have won if I hadn't used those damn freaky herbs. At least it's taught me never to grab herbs just because they're a cool color, certainly not if I want to keep my toilet stops down to a minimum.
Ah, but tonight was the most fun without a doubt! We got to do some entertainment, and I mean true entertainment. We'd have won that too, if Carson and Rodney had put more soul into it. Did it once or twice back in my early military days, putting shows on for fellow teams with a couple of other guys. Certainly seemed to be a hit with the girls, feminine side and all that. Not that I'd do it a lot, don't wanna seem too much that way. Possibly another thing I'll have to explain to Teyla…
Now that has been fun, being so close to Teyla for the past few days, and not having to worry about impending threats, or saving the world etc. Heck, just in general it's kinda fun not to have to worry about that stuff. Makes me tempted to come back here if I ever wanna take a holiday. And truthfully, I think we've gotten to know each other a lot more. Not really in terms of knowing stuff, but more just familiarity. It's not something we get a real chance to do back on Atlantis, but I'm kinda hoping we can maintain it. If I'm honest, then Teyla's the one person I'm my most comfortable around now. It's a lot of fun explaining Earth things to her, and just generally being with her. Not too bad on the eyes either… hmm, better make sure she doesn't read that bit! I mean right now, she's just sat there, looking really… okay, weird thoughts running through my head. Must be the climate or something… I think I've written everything I need to now, so guess I better get some sleep. Heh, feel kinda sad that I'm burning you in the morning.'
Carson idly tossed the booklet in his hand as he entered the hut with Jane. As hard as it was to admit it, he'd relaxed a lot in the past three days. Jane had stopped being so weird, and they'd actually settled down into the old friendship routine that they'd had before.
"Sounds like this is gonna be canny fun." Carson ventured, as he sat himself against the wall of the tent, legs stretched out in front of him.
"Oh, definitely. I've been wanting to get my thoughts down after everything that's happened." Jane bounced into the hammock, settling the booklet in her lap. "I certainly feel a lot… clearer, then I have in a while."
"Glad ta hear it lass." Carson replied with a cheery smile, producing the charcoal from his pouch. "It has been nice hasn't it?" As they both shared a knowing smile, Carson gave a happy sigh, and turned to his booklet.
'It's been so strange, all of everything that's happened over the past week, not just these few days. A lot of things have happened, some I'd much rather forget, but then even those things are being resolved.
See, there's been this big thing between me and Jane…'
Jane glanced over at Carson idly, mirroring his own happy sigh. She had to admit it, that really things were starting to get better. With another smile, she started to write herself.
'These past three days, have just been magical. After everything that happened, I felt so sick, that I might lose Carson forever. But I haven't. I've kept my feelings inside, given him some time, and I think it may have worked! He's a lot more friendly towards me, and seems much more relaxed. Sharing this tent has helped matters to no end, and I think the damage may have been recovered…'
'It's hard to explain, maybe because it still seems so foggy in my mind, but we just had this weird attraction happen. I hurt my best friend because of it, and so I came to my senses. I feel partly responsible for it though, acting like a teenager when I should know better. That's why I was so harsh with her initially, when we first came here. Because she wouldn't listen to me, because she seemed so intent on trying to rekindle that. The problem is, I don't know if we can…'
'You see, like I said, he's a lot more relaxed, more amicable, it feels like the connection is being rebuilt. The first day here, he would hardly even look at me, so I knew I had to do something. All I wanted to do was convince him that we were right, but I knew I may just end up pushing him away, so what else could I do but bottle those urges up, and act like a true friend?'
'But now, she seems to have realized that too, or at least forgotten about it. Maybe it's this planet, maybe it's just focusing on the actual test, but I feel as if maybe we've both come to our senses. At the start of the second day, it was like she'd changed overnight. She was nice, like the friend she'd always been, and she worked really hard so that we could win that contest. And today, well she's been even better. She even cheered me on, even when we were acting like complete idiots singing that wretched song. Like a true friend I suppose.'
'I mean, how else could I get him to relax, and open up to listen to me? We were always really close, as friends, and so I knew I'd have to try the gentle approach. And it has worked; I mean he smiles at me more, has a softer tone, all the signs of him relaxing. It's like he's forgotten about all the bad stuff that's happened. Not to mention he and Rodney have been getting along a little better, even if Rodney doesn't like to admit it. And now, I know, that I can approach him again, and he'll be open to what he's really feeling.'
'See, it's like she really understands now, about how I feel, like she respects the fact that I don't feel that way for her, not in the way she wants me too. It's taken some time, but I think she's finally come to her senses, and realized that she can't force me to have those feelings. Not that I don't want them, I mean it'd be a perfect situation of course, she is like my female best friend but… well, I don't know, it just doesn't feel right. And I've always been a man of my instincts when it comes to things like this.'
'And I've no doubts, about what he'll say. We're best friends, we're so close, and now he has no fear because he and Rodney are getting past it all. So I know, I know that this wait, as long as its felt, will have all been worth it, and we'll go back to Atlantis, stronger then ever. And properly together as well. All he needs is a nudge tonight, and everything will be as it should be. I mean all he needed was a little time to come to his senses.'
'So tonight will be the last night. In a way I'm kind of sad, to leave all this peace; away from bad guys, and machinery. But I have kinda missed my lab, and there's still a few things I need to research. As for me and Jane… well, I feel as if we don't even need to talk about it, as if we've both reached the same idea. In theory, us would've been nice, but then theories don't always pan out, especially when it comes to us humans. From what I've seen over the past few days, I'm sure she understands now. I guess she just needed time to come to her senses.'
Carson glanced up then, surprised for a moment to find Jane staring straight back at him. They shared a look of understanding, before they both slotted their booklets away, and stood up.
"Carson I-"
"Jane I-oh, you go first."
Jane smiled warmly, stepping forward, her hands clasped neatly in front of her. "I'm sorry, for the past week. I've pushed you a lot, and that wasn't good of me. Above everything else I'm your friend, but I hope you understand why I did?"
"Oh, I do now, o'course." Carson replied cheerily, shrugging then. "All is forgotten 'n forgiven. I say we start afresh here, nice and new."
Jane's eyes widened for a moment, warmth entering her smile. "Wow, it's like you read my mind! Yes, put everything behind us, and start with a new, clean sheet. Just start with the basics of what's really between us."
"Completely." Carson beamed back to her, arms widening then. "It's like you really understand what I've been talking about."
"Of course I do." Jane replied sweetly then, moving forward. "I mean there's an unmistakable connection between us after all Carson, and that's what we need to begin from."
"Aye, it'd certainly be a good start. We could just lay out what's basically, between us."
Jane just couldn't believe his words, it was so much simpler then she'd ever imagined. She'd thought perhaps, with everything that'd happened, he'd have some sort of doubts, but he was so clear, so resolute. "Oh Carson." Jane murmured then. "I love you." Before she leant in and kissed him.
"Aye, a good, solid, frien-" His reply was quickly muffled, and it took him a moment to react once the initial shock had passed through him. With more force then he'd intended, he pushed Jane away from him, knocking her into the nearby stone stove. "What tha hell do ya think you're doin'?"
"But-but…" Anger rose above shock, and Jane shot up, clearing the distance back to him in a mere second. "But you said, you understood, how we both felt about each other! You love me!"
"You're talking crazy again woman!" Carson cried back, trying to push her away once more, as Jane grabbed hold of his arms.
"No!" She suddenly screamed. "You love me! I know you do! You just need to get over your fear, awaken what's inside of you!"
Carson's mouth opened, but instead of the cutting reply he'd formulated in his mind, he found hollowness. Jane's grip on his arms tightened, and suddenly she was fully in his field of vision. Her eyes swam, and more in the literal sense that Carson could ever imagine eyes doing.
Jane could feel it now, this power that had always been there, but just out of reach. It was always there she remembered, just tingling, when she was angry, or just settled, when she was in a session with someone. All it took then was a little outreach, and she could sense their pain. Now, she could see right through Carson's eyes, and feverishly she searched him. A smile formulated as she found what she was looking for, the attraction that she knew was there. Now she just needed to amplify it, and… "You love me Carson, don't you." It was no question, but her voice was gentle, coaxing.
"I.. I… lo-" His mouth wrapped round the words before he could fully stop himself. Her eyes still swam, and no matter what he tried, he couldn't tear himself away from her gaze. Like tendrils of some unknown creature, he could feel his mind being touched, prodded, searched. But there was still a part of him, still a part that was free.
"No!" He suddenly cried, wincing as he felt those tendrils lose their grip, flapping around inside his mind. Carson tried his best to stand, to move away, but Jane was even angrier now, and she pushed him down. His knees buckled, and he collapsed, the strength already leaving him.
"SAY IT!" Jane screamed, her mind retaking it's hold on his. But it wasn't enough, and even as his physical strength left him, Carson mustered all of his emotions.
"No!" He shouted back, the whole of him trembling. Anger rose against her, the strongest emotion he could find within him. "I don't love ya! I never have, and I never will! I DON'T LOVE YOU!"
"NOOO!" Jane screamed, her fingers digging tightly into Carson's shoulder. One of her hands slipped to the back of his neck, and she yanked him forward, pushing herself deeper into his mind. "You're lying! I know you are! I just have to awaken you, that's all, just-just awaken the real-the real you…"
"Wh-wha-what are y-y-you d—d-doing?" Carson stuttered, trembling more then ever now, his mind reverberating as he felt her grip tighten. Desperately he fought inside, but there was nothing he could. Already she'd shot inside his mind, shot to the very core of him, and he could feel the wave building. In a few seconds, it'd all be over, he'd be gone for good.
