Tuesday, October 25, Head Balcony, 6:30pm

Nothing much has been happening around here. Desi and Britt are still at war, teachers are still giving out too much homework, flirting is going on between all my friends, and I'm still dead tired. Also, James and I have been planning the Halloween dance that is on, well, Halloween. Yes, I know. A party on a Monday? But, we only have morning classes on Monday and afternoon classes on Tuesday. Convient, huh?

Sirius has apologized to Britt and she has forgiven him, but not Desi. I've tried to get them on speaking terms, but the most Britt will say to Desi is "pass the butter." I'm still trying, but my attempts are getting more pathetic as I continue. Lindsay and April have also tried, but they've stopped after Brittni threatened to curse them.

I've told April and Lindsay about the talk between Remus, Britt, and me. They are excited about my "new found crush" as they put it. I just rolled my eyes. The conversation went on something like this...

"I can't believe it! My best friend gets a brain!" Lindsay squeals. I roll my eyes.

"Linds, I've had more of a brain than you've ever had in your life," I replied. April laughs. Lindsay nods, and her face scrunches into her "old man" look as me and April like to call it. Her mouth is moved over to one side of her face and she strokes her chin like if she had a beard.

"Yes, that might be true in the academic field, but you're clueless when it comes to love," she said.

"Maybe, but I'm not the only one that's clueless about love. What about you two, huh?" I smiled causes the both of them started to blush. April speaks first.

"Lily, that's ridiculous..." I cut her off.

"Don't give me that. I've seen the way you look at Remus! You look at him as if he was a puppy or something!" She blushes even more deeply, and covers her face with her pillow. (We are in their dormitory). I then turn to Lindsay. She was laughing at April's embarrassment.

"You too, Lindsay. The way you and Sirius act around each other, it seems like that you two are together," I said to her. She blushed and threw a pillow at me.

"Just admit it guys," April said, finally lifting the pillow from her face. "We in love with the Marauders."

"Hopelessly in love," agreed Lindsay. We don't speak for a couple of minutes, me, trying to think of a solution for the dilemma. I come up with nothing...unfortunately.

"So what are we going to do?" I asked them.

"All we can do is wait," April said. I sighed and nodded.

It's true. All I can do is wait. But...I could ask him myself...no, that doesn't sound right...arg...I'm too damn traditional for my own good.

Wednesday, October 26, My room, 7:30pm

He still hasn't asked me. Sirius asked Lindsay to the Halloween dance. Of course she agreed. Lucky.

Thursday, October 27, Common Room, 9:40pm

Have I done something wrong? Why won't he ask me? Has he gotten over me and asked someone else? Oh please let that not be true.

Oh, and Remus asked April to the dance.

Friday, October 28, the Grounds, 6:50pm

James hasn't asked me. Actually, he hasn't said one word to me today. I should just face it. He's not going to ask me.

I mean, why should he? He can have any girl in the whole damn school. What is so special about me?

You know what? I don't feel like going. Anyways dances have NEVER been my thing. I suck at dancing and my dates have been real jerks.

Already, guys have been asking me for the past couple of days and have been saying no to each one. Maybe I should just forget about the whole thing.

Saturday, October 29, the Three Broomsticks, 2:43pm

Nothing much has been happening. I didn't want to go with Lindsay and April here, to Hogsmede. But, they keep saying that they need help with finding a costume to the dance. You know what? I'm out of here. I have homework due and I need to finish it.

Sunday, October 30, Head's common room, 1:14pm

I have finished all my homework and I have read all the books that I have brought with me to Hogwarts. I can't think of anything else to do except write. I'm really tired, but every time I go to sleep, I have the same dream. It won't go away.

Anyways, I...Oh shoot. James is coming toward me. I got to go. Write Later.

Sunday, October 30, My bedroom, 9:45pm

I can't believe it. I cannot believe what James did.

HE READ THIS JOURNAL! Yes, THIS journal! I cannot believe it:

James walked over to me and sat in the chair next to me. I stopped writing, and I put this journal next to my chair, on the side table.

"Why do you always write in that thing?" he asked me.

"I just do, James," I replied back to him.

"Oh...well...um...I was wondering...well," he started, but I cut him off.

"I got to go James, I have some...um...stuff to do." I didn't want to be in the same room as him. I felt so...I don't know...uncomfortable? I want to be with him so much, but no luck what so ever comes to me. So I get up and walk out of the room, FORGETTING that my journal was still on the side table.

So, he must have seen the journal on the side table and picked it up...and READ IT!

I cannot believe he would stoop so low, so incredibly low, that he would read my most private thoughts.

So, when I came back into the common room, about twenty minutes later because I THEN remembered that I left my journal in there, I saw him, there by the fireplace, reading it.

He look surprised, at what he was reading, and I was being more embarrassed by every second passing.

"JAMES POTTER I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD STOOP SO LOW TO READ MY JOURNAL! HOW COULD YOU!" I yelled at him.

He quickly put down the journal and looked up at me.

"I well...um..." he stuttered.

I ran across the room and grabbed my journal and held it tight across my chest.

"I cannot believe that you would do this. I thought that you had changed James, but I guess I was wrong," I said to him, in nothing more than a whisper. I then started walking over to my room.

"Lily, wait, please," he said, but I just kept walking to my room.

I got inside and locked each door that held the way out. I closed the curtains that were hanging in front of my french doors, and I just cried.

I really did think that he changed. I really did. I guess I was wrong.

Lindsay and April have tried to see me, but I kept my door locked. I didn't want to see nobody. So they went to Brittni. (Damn them.) So the door didn't keep them out forever (curse Brittni and her stupid wandless magic).

She some how unlocked my door and they all came in. Desi too. I was amazed that Desi and Brittni were together, but that didn't change my expression too much.

"What?" I asked them, my voice muffled underneath the covers.

"Oh, stop your crying, Lils, it's not the end of the world or anything," said Desi, sitting on the couch.

"Yes it is," I shot back.

"It might feel like that, but its not," said April, leaning against my wall.

"But he read it! He read My Journal! How could he? How?" I exclaimed.

"Yes, but doesn't this makes it easier on your part? I mean, doesn't' that make it easier for James to know that you like him so he will ask you out?" asked Britt.

I lifted the covers over my head and looked at each one of them.

"Yes, but don't you think that it awkward for me to be around him? He knows that I like him and I guess that he likes me. We both like each other and we're just friends? Please tell me that doesn't see awkward to you," I say to them.

"Well, what are you going to do?" asked Lindsay.

"Stay away as humanly possible," I replied.

And that's what I am going to do. I'll stay away at meal times; try not to be partners with him during class, or anything. I mean, it's going to be really hard, but, what else can I do? I wish there was some book that can tell all the answers. It would make my life so much easier.

hey everyone. So how do you all like this chapter? I thought it was intresting. So, please read and review. I would really appreciated. -blue