Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of The O.C. Darn it!
I am only guessing the dates here, but I hope you like it.
January 6th 1988
Dear diary,
My dad has gotten on my last nerve (again). He has upset me so much that I have been reduced to tears. I am actually crying as I write this. I am curled up on my bed writing with a mountain of scrunched up tissues on the floor. I'm cuddling my favourite teddy bear, Lorenzo, who us soaking up my tears. Although Lorenzo is comforting, I want Sandy here with me. I want him to be wiping my tears away and his shirt to be soaking them up. I want to hold Sandy.
My dad has tried to sabotage my wedding day and marriage to Sandy from day one. We have had to change the date three fucking times already. If we had have gotten married in November like we planned we would have been married two months now. But oh no, Caleb Nichol always as to have his way. No one pushes him around. He wouldn't cancel the meetings he had because no-one told him what to do.
This time he had a conference in Singapore and he promised to be back for the wedding. The idiot I was I took him at his word because Caleb Nichol is as good as his word. Well that leaves a lot to be desired I can tell you that. He stared me in the eye and promised me, "I promise you Kiki I will be back in time." His promises aren't worth anything to me anymore.
I wouldn't marry Jimmy Cooper and now my own father is trying to deny me my own happiness. Like I said, my father doesn't let anyone tell him what to do, and he certainly won't let anyone push him around when it comes to who his eldest daughter is going to marry.
The ink on these pages is gonna be so smeared because of my tears keep falling on the bloody page! Maybe my tears will smear the ink so badly that it will be unreadable and I don't have to remember this day or read about it ever again!
Well, I am held up in my bedroom crying in Newport while my dad is in Singapore watching a monsoon coming in. Those raindrops that will be in the monsoon are my tears! The darkened skies will be my mood. I hope that monsoon batters dad because god knows I want to.
So since he is stranded in Singapore he won't make it to the wedding. My dad would expect us to change the date again to suit his schedule like we did the three other times before. I hate having to wait to become Sandy's wife. I mean, I just re-read my entry from when Sandy proposed and I remember how excited and hyper I was. But now I'm depressed, crushed and upset. Lorenzo is trying to alleviate that but I emphasize trying which means that he is not working!
I can't believe he would do this to me. Could he not see how happy I am with Sandy? Can't be see that I don't want to marry Jimmy and that I love Sandy more than anything? We planned everything for today. Now we have to rearrange it for a different date; the caterers, the venue, the minister, the reception venue, music, everything with two days advanced notice. We'll have to call all the guests and tell them. They won't be please.
Wait . . . they won't be pleased? Hell look at me, I'm in my room holding a stuffed animal alone. My wedding dress is begging to be worn and I wanna wear it because I wanna look beautiful for Sandy and that is the only way I know how. I want to be his wife so much and my dad is making me wait even longer. I bet no-one made him wait to getting married to mom. I hate this, I hate this, I fucking hate this!
He is supposed to walk me down the aisle and hand me to Sandy but he is in Singapore, on the other side of the bloody world revelling in the fact that my wedding has been postponed again while I am crying because it has been postponed.
I can't let my dad push me around again, especially when it comes to Sandy. Yes he is my dad and he "gives me away" but if this is the way he is going to behave then I don't think he can be there.
Jeepers, my tears are getting more and fiercer. They are falling quicker than I can breathe or write for that matter. I really should get a grip but I just can't.
I don't I can actually physically wait to become Mrs Sandy Cohen, I feel like running out of this run and getting Sandy and driving to Vegas and eloping. That would really piss my dad off but I'm in love and crazy!
Like I said, I don't want to wait any longer because my patience has been pushed too far. Three times! This is the fourth date that everyone has agreed on.
I'm kinda rambling on here. I guess Sandy is rubbing off on me. But when he rambles it's incredibly adorable yet with me I sound like an absolute idiot. Hell, I even write like an absolute idiot.
Kirsten shut up. Just shut up!
My mom understands how much dad has hurt me. She's seen it too many times before. She always made me calm down after he upset me. She would hug me and tell me to remember better times and how my dad cried when I was born. He's my dad and as much as he's hurt me, I still love him.
But I am gonna tell everyone that Sandy and I are gonna get married on the 8th of this week like we planned. If he won't walk me down the aisle like any father, then he won't be there on the happiest day of my life.
Hey, my tears have stopped and I'm getting married.
I'm getting married!
Until my wedding day,
Kirsten
Please please review. Should I continue with Kirsten's diary entries or not bother. Feed back will be very much appreciated. Thanks
