Seras?

It was cold. Why hadn't she remembered to bring her old quilt into her coffin with her? It always got cold down in the dungeon. Why Walter thought that she only needed a box with no amenities to be comfortable was beyond her.

Seras, it's time to get up.

She shifted restlessly, reaching for her pillow. Her eye snapped open when she felt the gravel under her cheek. Seras was lying next to a pile of rubble in the gutter of a London street. Everything came back to her in a rush and the blackness that lurked at the edges of her mind was an attractive refuge. She wanted to let herself slip into that darkness and forget everything around her when she thought of Integra.

Seras pushed herself to her feet and looked around. She was the only moving thing on the street. London felt like a necropolis; everywhere she stretched her senses, all she felt was death or the agents of death. Even the Iscariots she touched when she reached out felt like avatars of death rather than humans. She did not feel Integra or her Master.

"It's okay. They're both okay. Whatever happened before I passed out must have burned out parts of my brain. That's why even the humans feel wrong." Seras carried on a litany of reassurances as she picked her way back toward the street where she'd left Walter and Integra. She'd find Integra, and Integra would know what to do. Integra always knew what to do.

Chère.
The voice rubbed softly in her mind. I need to tell you something I don't think you remember.

I'm not ready for this.

Do you think I was ready for this? You live our kind of life and you learn to take the things you're not ready for. The warm feel of him wrapped around her belied the harshness of his next words, Now suck it up and deal with this, we don't have time to pretend.

"I don't want to know what you want to tell me –"

Pip cut her off with a drill sergeant's snap, It doesn't matter what you want, we're at war! I've lost as much as anyone tonight and I'm still facing reality. Now listen to me, Integra is gone. There's no point in going back for her, she's dead and we both know it.

Seras remembered the agony of Alucard's screams. Her mind shied away from the pain, but she knew Pip was right. She had caught part of the backlash when the bond between Integra and Alucard was broken. You saved me again, didn't you?

I was attached to your body before it was my home. I didn't want anything happening to you.

Seras resumed walking, anyway. I didn't think Alucard was capable of caring for Integra like that. Her tears were flowing again at the memory of the grief he had broadcast. I honestly didn't think he had much in the way of feelings left.

I had time to think about that while you were unconscious. I think I understand, maybe a little.

Seras clambered over a fallen wall, How long was I out?

I don't know. I got you to open your eye for a moment, but it didn't do me any good because I couldn't move any of the rest of you. From the light, I'd guess at least an hour. Anyway, do you want to hear my idea about Alucard?

Sure, I don't understand him. I'll take any help I can get with him. Especially if Integra's really –

She is. It doesn't do us any good to pretend she's not. He gave the mental impression of taking a deep breath. I have noticed that I feel what you feel. I can kind of push it back to keep your feelings from overwhelming mine, but your emotions are always there for me. But, when we killed Jolene, your feelings were amplified by mine. Imagine what it would be like if you had hundreds or thousands of souls to pick up your feelings…

Seras shivered at the thought of being caught in an emotional feedback loop with so many captured souls. Then why doesn't he have that problem all the time?

Because he doesn't let the souls out? I don't know. I'm just a dead mercenary.

They continued in silence after that until Seras arrived at the street where they had last seen Walter and Integra. Seras didn't need to look, she followed the smell of Hellsing blood to where Integra's body lay casually tossed on the ground like a discarded doll.

Walter was nowhere to be seen. She called for him and looked around, but there was no sign of him. She wondered if whoever had killed Integra had killed him, too.

Seras knelt by the lost Hellsing master's side. When she rolled Integra onto her back, the cause of death became obvious. She carefully closed Integra's suit jacket over the gaping wound in her chest and picked her up. It was an awkward process with only one functional arm, but she managed to sling Integra over her shoulder. She thought that Integra's shell should be heavier. The woman had been made of steel; her body should have reflected that.

"I'll take you home, Sir." And after I put you to rest with your ancestors, I will put every member of Millennium in England to rest, too.

The sun forced Seras to walk with her burden rather than fly. The streets were so filled with debris that it was a lost cause to steal a car to drive back to the Hellsing Estate. Seras used the time walking on foot through the ruins of London to think. On a few occasions she had to put Integra down while she killed vampires in uv gear who thought she would be an easy target. Seras was beginning to understand her Master's disdain for these lesser vampires.

Why haven't you tried to contact Alucard? Pip asked her when they reached the shattered walls of the estate.

Because I think he needs his time to grieve. And I'm scared, she admitted. I'm afraid he'll burn my brain out if I try to talk to him before he's ready. He'll find me when he wants me.

Seras avoided going inside the mansion and instead threaded her way through the wreckage and around the back to the graveyard. The family mausoleum stood among the graves of those who had fallen in the service of the Crown and the Hellsing family.

With some effort she was able to open the mausoleum and lay Integra's body inside. She deserved better, but it would have to wait until other problems had been dealt with. "I hope that your soul is someplace safe now, Sir Integra. May God be with you. Amen."

I never was very good at those sorts of things.

Pip spoke up before Seras turned to leave. Hold on. My turn. Boss, you knew what you were doing. You didn't back down. You didn't quit. You had honor and guts. I respected you. I hope you don't find the afterlife too boring. Goodbye.

Seras stood in the cemetery, staring blankly at the headstones that surrounded her. Now that they'd returned Integra to her home, she didn't know what to do next. There was just so much. Every time she tried to think of a plan, her mind would just go blank on her.

What's wrong with me, Pip?

Shell shock would be my guess. We've been through a lot in the past day. Let me help you. War's been my job for a long time.

With Pip's guidance, Seras entered the mansion to look for her Harkonnen, some medical blood and a change of clothes. Every room she passed through clamored at her with memories, most bloody, but a few so sweet that they reduced her to tears.

She gave up on the change of clothes when she realized she had no idea how to get her clothes on and off around the swirling shadow that still grew from her shoulder. It could wait. Instead, she headed downstairs to Walter's weapons shop to see what she could find.

The room wasn't empty. Walter was methodically emptying the contents of several locked drawers into a large case. He didn't turn when she stopped in the door to watch him, but addressed her while he worked, "Miss Victoria, you have returned. Did you find the Major's little friend?"

"No, something happened." Before she could continue, she felt her Master's touch in her mind.

Police Girl?

Master! Where are you? Are you alright? She cringed, of course he wasn't alright. She focused outward on Walter as he asked her a question.

"What happened that made you lose your quarry?" He gave her the disapproving look that never failed to make her cringe.

I'm in London. Integra is dead. His mental touch was devoid of emotion. Seras couldn't tell if Alucard just didn't care now or if he'd shut down his feelings about Integra's death. Are you under attack?

No, I'm fine. There's nobody dangerous here. She blinked at Walter as he repeated himself. "What happened? Oh, you don't know yet." Of course he didn't know yet. Walter would never have left Integra's body on the ground like that if he'd been there when she died. She frowned, trying to decide how best to tell him. "Sir Integra was killed."

Seras, you need to watch out for Walter. Alucard warned.

It's okay, Master, I found him. He's right here.

She didn't hear Walter's response of, "I know. I killed her," over Alucard's warning shout, but Pip's reflexes pushed her out of the doorway, into the hall as Walter threw his wires out to entangle her. They passed through her shadow arm, leaving an uncomfortable tingling.

Seras scrambled away from the door, but Walter was out of the room and walking down the hallway toward her before she could get away. Her shock at Walter's treachery left her almost paralyzed. It took another prod from Pip to get her to turn and try to escape.

She was brought up short by the papercut sting of wires wrapping around her body and neck and pulling just enough to draw tiny trickles of blood from the lines they cut. "Don't move, Seras, unless you want me to demonstrate what happened to Millennium's Major."

I'm going to die! I've been through too much for Walter to be the one who kills me. Master, help me!

"That's a good little vampire. Listen to Uncle Walter and everything will be fine," he mocked.

"Why did you kill Sir Integra, Walter? What's wrong with you?"

"It doesn't matter, Seras." He secured his wires to hold her in place before picking her up and carrying her back into the weapons shop. "I didn't expect to see you so soon. Who knew you'd give up on Schrödinger so quickly?" He leaned her in a corner like a package and went back to his packing. She could see several large books in the case in addition to the contents of the drawers he'd been packing. He finished quickly and added a small box covered in symbols that looked like Alucard's seals.

After snapping the case closed, Walter walked over to Seras. He licked a bit of blood off of her cheek and she shuddered and closed her eyes. This was not something she had ever expected from the man she had always thought of as a master of manners and decorum. "I still need to save you for later. Try not to get yourself killed, my dear." Walter pressed a hard kiss against her mouth and left.

She leaned in the corner like a discarded weapon until she felt Alucard's call. She called back to him and waited for him to join her. He walked through the wall and glowered at her. "Some child of mine you are. You have enough power to call on the shadows, but not enough control or will to use them properly."

"You know, Master, now might not be the best time to give me a hard time about something you never taught me." Seras felt pushed to the ends of her tolerance and catching hell from Alucard about not being able to turn to shadow the way he did was not helping.

To her surprise, he stopped and gave her words serious consideration. While she waited for his response, she stared at her Master. He looked nothing like the Hellsing vampire hunter she was used to; he looked like a feudal warlord in his armor with the tatters of his gloves dangling from armored gauntlets. His face lacked the jaded humor that she'd come to think of as part and parcel of the Alucard experience. Instead, his eyes were hooded and dark. She decided that Pip might have been right about the souls amplifying Alucard's grief, but that he'd had quite enough grief of his own without their help.

"You're right," he said at last.

"I am?"

"Yes. I can't fault you for not learning control of a power you didn't possess even a day ago. In fact, I should give you credit for having drunk human blood, grown a shadow limb and learned to fly. You have done well this past night."

"I did?"

"Are you trying to get me to revise my opinion again with your vapid responses?"

Any chance you can tell him to shove it? Pip asked.

"I can hear you, mercenary."

Ah, I'll remember that, then, Sir Alucard.

"Do that." He leaned forward until his hair brushed against Seras' face. "I'm going to show you how to do this once. Then it's your responsibility to practice until you are as skillful as I am. After you have mastered this, I will teach you a new ability."

She felt his mind reach into hers and pull. He pulled the shadows out of her until they overlaid her body, pushing the flesh deep within them until the flesh was gone and she stood before him, a shadow figure of herself. The wires dropped away to pool on the floor at her feet. "Remember how this feels," he told her before he reached in again and pushed the shadows back, forcing them to push her body out, this time whole.

He frowned at the eye that had not regenerated. "You allow your slave too much, Police Girl."

"He's not a slave, Master. Don't ever call him that. He gave his life up for me. He helped me more than anyone else ever has, including you. He will never be just a slave." She forgot to be angry when she realized that she had put both hands on her hips while she remonstrated him. She looked with pleasure at her regenerated arm.

A ghost of his old smile settled on his lips. "That's your choice, Police Girl."

"What do we do now, Master?"

"We go and finish our jobs: Search and Destroy."