A/N: So it's been a long time, I know. Real life has been REAL crazy. I know you hate waiting for updates, and I apologize for that. Although I do promise to update tomorrow as well, if that's any consolation.
IMPORTANT NOTES:
1) I split this chapter into two parts b/c it got insanely long. Here's the first part, the second part will be updated tomorrow around this time or earlier.
2) Just so we're all clear-- all of the previous flashbacks, beginning with the very first one have happened in sequential order, although they did not happen concurrently. Rather they happened over the span of about a year.
3) Also, this chapter will weave in and out of one flashback and the present. As always flashbacks are in italics and present time is in straight font. But you guys already knew that ;) I'm stopping my yammering now. Please read on, enjoy, be merry, and all that good stuff.
Chapter 11
Part 1
Tell Me How Everything Turned Around
It was late and Haley was tired. She'd spent the better part of her evening taking yearbook photos' for the Raven's last home game, and ended up staying longer than she'd planned. The game had gone into an unexpected overtime, and then sudden death, causing a huge uproar amongst the entire crowd.
Haley had never been a big basketball fan herself, but she had to admit, the energy in the gym that night was absolutely electric. Both teams were on fire, each matching the other shot, blocking the others' players, thwarting their opponents as if it was their only purpose in life.
Haley was used to hearing and seeing the Raven's win over the years. They were after all one of the best teams in the State. Watching them play well together, expecting them to play well together was like second nature, but not one player on the court that night shined brighter than Nathan. He was on a different level altogether. He moved faster, jumped higher, defended better than anyone on the court, and he did it with a graceful ease. Haley caught herself one too many times staring at Nathan in almost a complete thrall. The way his body became one with the basketball was simply amazing. He was amazing.
And that hurt.
It hurt to believe that someone as beautiful as Nathan could be so ugly on the inside. She just couldn't reconcile that fact. It was easy to believe he was a jerk and that he did jerky things. But from what she'd heard, and now personally seen, there didn't seem to be much of anything redeeming about Nathan Scott the person. Except for maybe how passionate he looked when he played basketball.
She didn't want to give Nathan the benefit of doubt again. Last time it had only caused her misery....A thought kept repeating over in her mind throughout the game, to afterwards in the parking lot and all the way home—How could someone love something the way he does--be that bad?
She hadn't figured out an answer, and she knew she probably wouldn't. The question still haunted her as she made it through her front door. The house was dark and quiet inside, and Haley didn't know why. She searched for the light switch on the door and flipped it on. She read her watch–it was late, but not so late that her parents would be in bed yet. She thought about going up to check on them but decided against it once she heard her stomach growl and rumble.
Neither of her parents had gone grocery shopping in a week, and while she could get food at school, that left small pickings back at home. Hungrily she ventured into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Outside of the room, she could hear heavy feet barreling down the stairs....
Nathan wakes up on Friday and knows it's not going to be a good day. Everything feels slightly off kilter, and it irritates him. His clothes don't fit comfortably, and his food lacks of any flavor.
Classes are long and monotonous and he spends most of first period falling in and out of sleep. His eyes flicker to Haley a few desks in front of him on the right, and zone in on the small expanse of creamy white skin that shows as her shirt rides up against the top part of her seat. He yearns to runs his hands over her bare flesh, to feel the soft fine hairs on her arms and the silky smoothness of her hair between his fingers. He thinks about seeing her naked and wanting in front of him. Thinks about holding her and feeling her body heat. He wonders when that thought became enough to get him hot and bothered.
In the hallway after school he sees Brooke at her locker collecting a few books. It's been a week since he's seen her( a week since he's talked to Haley ) and the tension in the air is palpable. He's not quite sure whether he should say what's on his mind or just keep walking.
He watches Brooke shut her locker door and come down the hall in his direction. He steps in front of her and she blinks at him openly.
"Excuse me," she bites out sharply and tries to sidestep him. He steps with her not letting her pass and the irritation on her face grows more evident.
"Brooke."
"Get out of my way," she deadpans. Nathan folds his arms over his chest, refuses to move.
She shoots him and evil glare and he feels like she could probably burn his skin off if she looked at him any harder. He falters in his stance and she brushes past him.
"Brooke! Hold on for a second...."
"Whatever it is you're going to say," she stops and spins around. "I don't want to hear it. So just spare me."
She holds her books in her arms loosely, but her body is tense and her eyes are creased into thin slits. Nathan sucks in a breath of air. He thinks maybe he should have just ignored her instead.
"We don't have to be at war with each other, you know? Things just didn't work out. It happens."
A high-pitched squeak spills out of her mouth. It sounds sort of like a laugh, and sort of like a desperate whine, but Nathan can't tell the difference.
"You're so full of–
She stops mid-sentence and shakes her head. Re-evaluating her thoughts. "Actually, you know what.....You're right. Things can't work out when there's only one person in a relationship."
Her words are harsh and bitter, and for half a second make Nathan feel like absolute shit. After all Brooke was just sort of an unplanned accident that progressed into a long drawn out mistake. Nathan knows this, but he won't say it. He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs.
"Things happen. People change. I didn't mean to hurt you."
It sounds as insincere as it does in his head, and instead of causing Brooke to look away in pain, in just fuels her fire. She knows he's a bastard. He knows, she knows.
"Fuck you Nathan" she says piercingly. "Fuck you."
He watches as she turns on the balls of her feet and sashays down the hall. He thinks he should feel worse about the whole encounter. He can't muster up enough energy to care.
The cell-phone in his pocket vibrates and buzzes like a bee. It feels warm inside his palm, but cool against his ear. Tim's on the other line asking him about Saturday night.
"I heard about Brooke," he says quietly, timidly. Nathan sighs into the receiver and Tim continues.
"Umm, so you're still coming right?"
"I don't know," Nathan mumbles. He finds a piece of lint on his shirt and picks it off, mushes it between his fingers, and then flicks it. Tries to pay attention to whatever Tim is babbling about.
"....and Jared said he'll get his brother to bring the keg as long as people pay for their own cups. But I said that's stupid. He should just get his Dad to pay for it. Or your Dad could pay for it Nate. He's down with that stuff right?"
"I don't even know if I'm going Tim. And No. I'm not gonna get my Dad to pay for your stupid keg."
He comes off a lot angrier than he actually he is. He knows he shouldn't be taking it out on Tim. He didn't do anything. But Tim's available, and he's still in a bad mood. Plus he's asking too many questions.
"You gotta come to the party, it'll be the Shiz man. It'll be awesome. Better than awesome, like totally hott with two T's and--
"Just say it'll be fun Tim."
"It'll be hella fun.....So you're coming right?"
Nathan groans. This is his last concern right now. "I'll think about it."
"Come on, don't back out now. The Evil Bitch that will not be named won't even be there," Tim adds quickly and snorts as if he's said something witty. Nathan rolls his eyes.
"She's going to some yacht party with Jake. We can hook you up with some fine hunnies. It'll be all good."
"I said I'll think about it."
"You'll regret it if you don't come," Tim says earnestly.
Nathan closes his eyes and shakes his head. Somehow he doubts that.
Haley doubted that the footsteps belong to anyone other than her father, and her suspicions were confirmed when he came rushing into the kitchen. His hands steadily working at his tie.
"Dad ...hey."
"Hey, pumpkin," he said with a smile that didn't quite cover his face.
She kept her eyes on him as he moved about the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and drinking it down in two gulps. He seemed hurried and overly so, for what reason Haley didn't know.
"Where are you going," she asked, stepping into the corner of the room.
"I've got a business dinner," he replied, his business-like, straightforward.
Haley reread her watch. "But it's almost 10:30."
He ran into the other room and came back in with his briefcase and suit jacket. He messed with his tie again.
"It's more drinks than dinner really. It shouldn't last to long."
Business drinks? At 10:30? In Tree Hill? That didn't sound right. Haley knew that didn't sound right. But nothing her Father had done lately was right.
"Where's Mom," she asked when her other parent suddenly came to mind. Her father stalled in his motions and became still for a second.
"Upstairs," he responded with disgust, and grabbed for his car keys.
Saturday comes, just like any other day. It's rather dull and boring. Haley sleeps in for once and then gets up and takes a shower. She puts on jeans and a pretty light pink sweater her grandmother gave her for Christmas. It rained the night before and she sits at her dresser sweeping her hair up into a messy bun, she can see raindrops pearl against her window in the reflection of her mirror. She takes black and white photos of it close up. Sees a woman walking across the street with a striped umbrella and snaps a picture of that too.
At night she sits on the couch and watches a Steve Martin movie with her mother. She hates Steve Martin. Prefers Harrison Ford much more. She doesn't say this though, just sits and tries to enjoy the company of her mother. Stares at the half empty glass of vodka sitting in her hand, and thinks about ripping it out of her hand and throwing it against the wall. But she doesn't. She can't.
Out of nowhere the door bell rings and Haley jumps in her seat. Her mother, is already in a comatose state, her eyes zoned in on the television screen.
"You going to get that," she asks.
"Umm, yeah. Yeah," Haley nods and saunters into the foyer. She unlocks the door and pulls it open. Nathan stands on the other side, his face is serious. He stares at her openly for a moment. The way her hair is up, soft tendrils falling against her face. Her cheeks slightly flushed and pink.
"Hi," is the only thing he is able to choke out and she looks completely unimpressed.
"I don't want to talk to you right now."
He expects her to slam the door in his face at that, but she doesn't, and that means, even if she doesn't realize it, she's giving him a chance. He steps forward.
"Yeah, that seems to be the general consensus going around," he says and starts to crack a smile. She glances away in frustration and opens her mouth to speak.
"And I know what you're going to say, so I'm not asking for your forgiveness, alright? I know I was a dick to you. You deserve to be mad at me."
She wants to be angered by his words, but he looks so adorable. She forces a stern face, but a small smile breaks through anyway. Nathan catches her smile and smiles back at her. She shakes it off. Makes herself serious again. "Well I'm glad we can agree on that."
Nathan nods his head solemnly. As if he agrees. "This is stupid. This whole thing is stupid. I'm stupid.," he shrugs, trying to explain himself, or his actions, maybe both. "I could say I was angry because my father's a prick, or because me and Brooke got into a fight and I broke it off....because you called and told me some things I didn't want to hear. I could tell you that, I could blame it on bad circumstances or crappy timing. Or I could ask you to forgive me for being an idiot.......But like I said, I'm not going to, because that's not why I'm here."
Haley looks at him incredulous. "You're telling me you came all the way to my house to tell me it's ok if I'm mad at you....Wow, gee thanks Nathan you're a pal."
He can't help but let a laugh puff out at her indignance, and he runs an unconscious hand over her arm, letting it fall to her hand. He pulls apart the arms that are crossed over her chest and his eyes meet hers. She's still so stunning.
"No, that's not why I'm here. I came to get you."
"To get me? For what?"
"You'll see. Come on."
A smile spreads its way other Nathan's mouth and up into his blue eyes. He's still got a hold of her hand and it's weakening her resolve by the second. She doesn't know why she lets him touch her when she's angry. There's something about the way he lets his skin graze against hers, the way his touch is somewhat rough, but protective. As if he needs her. It fills apart of her every time he does it. A part of her that, when he's gone, feels perpetually empty. She follows him forward as he guides her out of the house. She makes it out onto the porch and stops, realization smacking her in the face. She latches her free arm onto the side of the open door and stops.
"No. I can't....I've got to stay home with my Mom."
Nathan turns and tightens his grip on her hand. Comes back up to her. His voice soft. "She'll be alright for a couple hours Haley. Now come on."
She wants to leave with him so badly. Even when he hurts her, she still wants to be with him. Anywhere but inside watching lame comedies on a Saturday night.
"Nathan.. ..this isn't a good idea. I can't go out like this. My mom's home for one. My Dad's out of town until tomorrow for two, and plus... ..I just.... I'm still....
"Still mad? Yeah I know. I said you could be. And your parents will be ok for one night. So stop worrying and get your ass into my car," he starts to pull her forward again, and she feels her grip on the door loosening.
She reaches for the handle and closes the door behind her. She thinks she should probably check back in and tell her mother she's leaving, but what's the point? Would her mother even care? She's most likely already passed out anyway. She'll wake up in a few hours and crawl up to bed, or Haley will help her to bed. And Nathan said it's only a few hours. She won't even be missed. This she knows.
"Aren't I the injured party here? Should,'t you be asking me politely to get in your vehicle," she asks and lets Nathan drag her to his Range Rover.
Nathan smirks and opens the door for her. "You can be mad. It doesn't mean I have to be nice."
"Always the Prince Charming," she snaps at him sarcastically and jumps into the seat. Nathan leans in and stops right in front of her mouth.
"Don't you know it," he whispers and slams the door shut.
"Upstairs," Haley repeated her father's words. "What's she doing?"
"What she always does," he said, standing by the back kitchen door. "I should get going, or I'll be late."
"Dad wait," she called, her mind returning to the empty fridge, to the empty vodka and Jack Daniels's bottles she saw in their trash can outside. "We don't have anything to eat."
Her father made a muffled groan and set his briefcase on the ground. He pulled out his wallet and shuffled through it, pulling out a twenty and throwing it on the kitchen table. "Here, buy yourself a pizza."
"But all the pizza places are closed."
"Then go to a fast-food restaurant Haley. I don't care. Now I've got to go."
She could hear the ceiling creak, the noise of her mother upstairs moving around, she looked to her father helplessly. "What should I do about Mom?"
"Nothing. Just leave her."
Haley's stomach dropped, and her hands felt clammy and cold. She couldn't believe her father. "What happens tomorrow? What about next time? What about all the empty bottles Dad?"
"I. Can't. Talk. About. This. Right. Now," he bit out angrily, snatching his briefcase up. "I've got to go."
Haley ran over to him and tried to stop him from leaving. "No, you don't. It's just some stupid meeting....Dad?"
His eyes averted from hers, his expression completely emotionless. "I've got to," he said, and she knew he was gone. He didn't want to be here. Inside his head, he was already somewhere else, Haley could see it. Even as he lightly pushed her away so he could get through, she could see he'd already shut off.
She didn't have the heart to watch him leave, instead she slammed the door behind him, and ran up the stairs to her parent's bedroom. She could hear her mother getting sick in the adjoining bathroom. She went in and saw her mother spread out on the floor her head resting on the toilet.
"Mom?"
She didn't respond, didn't move. Haley stepped forward and reached her arm out. She lightly ran her hand over her mother's forehead.
"Don't touch me," she growled, and Haley snatched her hand back immediately, as if it had been burned. She stood in silent shock, as her mother began to dry heave into the toilet again. Her hair sweaty and wet, and webbed all over her head. Her clothes were a mess.
Haley looked on in silence for a minute before she snapped back into reality and went to the linen closet pulling out a wash cloth. She ran it under the cool water and rang it out. She kneeled down close to her mother, careful not to touch her.
"Here, take this and put it on your forehead. It'll make you feel better."
Still for a moment, once the heaving ceased, her mother cracked an eye open and looked at the wash cloth, debating. At first Haley figured she would just close her eyes again, but instead she took the wash cloth and ran it over her face.
"Is there anything you need," she asked quietly.
"No," her mother mumbled.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"No. Stop talking."
"Oh, ok. Sorry."
Haley took a seat inside the door frame. She waited silently, unsure of what to do for her mother, what not to do. Wondering if she should call an ambulance, or her sister and brothers for help. A few minutes later her mother began to heave again, but it was worse than the last time, and Haley ran up to her to pull her hair back for her.
She felt a frantic hand push her away. Hard. "I said don't touch ME!" Her mother screamed. "Don't touch me!"
"I'm sorry," Haley uttered, her hands beginning to shake. "I'm sorry."
"Just get out," the older woman waved her away frantically. "GET OUT."
Haley didn't know whether she should listen to her mother or not. She didn't know what to do. Everything in the room was dark and loud and spinning, and she felt sick to her stomach. She thought she should stay, but she wanted to run away. And do she did.
She turned from her mother's gangly figure on the bathroom floor and fled down the stairs through the kitchen and out the door.
