She was scared, she had opened her heart to him, opened herself up to him, she was out there, vulnerable. But she was scared he'd find out the one thing she kept hidden.
He was so innocent, so normal. He was full of passion and love. He was good and she didn't know how he'd take being thrust into a world so different. She wasn't sure she wanted him to be a part of that world, maybe that was why she hadn't told him yet, owned up to what she was. She wanted to protect him, to keep him safe from the demons that laid in wait for him in her world.
She was almost relieved when he told her he had to go to Japan. The further away from her he was, the safer he would be.
But she was scared.
She loved him. She could admit this now. It had taken her a long time to face up to her emotions, to allow someone that close to her again. After Cole, he had taken her, and he had left her cold, alone, broken and bruised. She never wanted to feel like that again, so she had kept her distance, closed herself off to the possibility of love.
And Jason had found her. He had opened her up like a letter, read her and loved her. And she loved him. Their love had been intense, passionate. But he didn't know all of her, there was a whole other life that she had kept hidden like a dirty little secret. How would he react?
He laid beside her, sound asleep, and she watched the gentle rhythm of his breathing. He was her innocent and he needed protecting. He needed protecting from the demons, the warlocks, the things that go bump in the night, from her world. From her?
She softly stroked his warm body, pausing on his chest, she could feel his heartbeat, so strong so sure. He had told her once that his heart beat only for her. His love had poured off of him in waves and almost drowned her. She still felt it, while he was sleeping, she felt his love for her, it mingled with her love for him and the two were braided. She could tell the love she felt from the love he felt, but she knew it was there.
Phoebe had got to grips with her empathetic powers, she knew now how to separate her feelings from the feelings of those around her. She could distinguish between the emotions, between love, lust, obsession, craving, desire, temptation, affection and adoration. The different shades of love, love for a sibling, love for a parent, love for a child and love for a partner. She had never believed there were so many different shades of the same emotion, but her empathy power had shown her this, educated her in the ways and differences. And she knew.
She knew the love Jason had for her was pure and deep. It was tender and gentle, but it was passionate and fervent. It was as if there had been a hole inside her that she hadn't known was there, and he had filled it. He filled her with his kisses, his warmth and affection, he showered her in his love, and she betrayed him. She lied to him, she took him and told him she loved him, while not showing him all of her. She knew she couldn't keep it from him forever, and she wanted him to be her forever. But if he knew the truth he would be in danger. He already was, just by laying by her side, by loving her, he was in danger.
As she stroked his warm body, his eyes slowly opened and he smiled. Phoebes heart ached with the weight of the love and she almost wanted to cry, it was too much. Jason looked at her, concern replaced the smile that had touched his face, and Phoebe felt it before he put his concern into words.
"Phoebe?" Jason asked, caressing her cheek with his finger, "Why the sad face?"
Did she tell him now? Was now the right time to let him know that he was dating a witch? And not just any witch. A charmed one. A protector of the innocent and fighter of demons and warlocks, the very things that nightmares were made of?
Was now the time to tell him his life was in danger just by being beside her? Should she tell him to run for cover? If he ran, would he come back to her?
Now wasn't the time. She smiled at him and held his hand on her cheek. She bent down and kissed him softly on the lips. The kiss developed, becoming more passionate, more intense. Phoebe was loosing herself into Jasons embrace. But he pulled away.
"I love you Phoebe" He whispered, he stroked her waist, pulling her body closer to him, "If there was anything bothering you, you would tell me right? Maybe I could help!"
Phoebe smiled at him, feeling the warmth of his body on her skin, feeling the warmth of his love flow under her skin. She bathed in him and smiled some more.
"I love you Jason. I just don't want you to go to Japan" She leaned into another kiss. She wrapped her arms around his muscular body.
He embraced her and she rested her head on his chest, now hearing his heartbeat. She kissed his chest.
"I'm serious you know." Jason told her, "Something has been worrying you, I know it, but you wont tell me what it is. Maybe I can help."
Phoebe wondered if now really was the right time to tell him. But how? What was she going to say?
'Jason, honey- I'm a witch with powers, and so are my sisters. We fight demons and Warlocks who come after us trying to kill us'?
Yeah, right. And the next time she wakes up she'd be in a white room, with padding on the wall, strapped down to a bed. A nice nurse with mediation would swing by every now and then.
She wanted to tell him. But she was scared. She was scared of loosing him.
