Chapter 11

Part 2

Tell Me How Everything Turned Around

Nathan opens the car door for her once they're at their destination, and Haley steps out onto the Rivercourt. She looks up at her companion with confusion.

"The Rivercourt? You brought me to the Rivercourt? I don't get it."

Nathan smiles at her with a closed mouth and leads her out onto the concrete basketball court. He walks them both to the small park bench across the court and sits down on top of it. Haley follows him, and sits down beside him, letting her body weight rest against his side. He looks off into the distance. He's quiet for a moment. Thinking.

"Do you ever have those moments when you look back at how things started? How the little things ended up leading you to the bigger things?...It's kind of funny that way, I guess. You go along, not really paying attention and then it just hits you. You realize that you're already there. That your life has already changed...We spend so much time searching for the big things that we don't even notice when they happen..."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Haley nods, keeps her eyes on Nathan's movements. She observes his actions, wonders what is going on inside his head.

"Sometimes I think I'll always be searching for the One thing. The thing that's gonna turn it all around. Make my life perfect...But then I think, maybe it doesn't exist."

Haley shifts toward Nathan, her face serious but forthcoming. She loops her arm through his and snuggles herself into his side. She smiles to herself because she knows he's wrong. He's so much better than he will ever realize.

"Whatever it is. It exists for you Nathan. It does. You might just have to open your eyes more to see it."

Nathan pulls his eyes away from the basketball hoop, and the way the street lamp illuminates it. Making it look sacred. Holy. He flickers his eyes down to Haley and rubs his cheek against the side of her face softly. She smells like lilacs in the summer time. It's calming to him. So he takes in a long breath and lets it out slowly, his eyes falling shut.

………..

Her eyes were shut as she ran a hand roughly over her face. The tears that covered her cheeks stung as the bitter cold wind whipped over her small form. She'd ran and ran, until her lungs burned and her chest was so tight that she thought it might burst. Everything felt heavy, dark, and all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and fade away.

As it was now, she didn't know where she was, and she didn't much care. She was hunched together, her knees up to her chest, her forehead on her knees. Her stomach ached, and her heart hurt. But more so than that, she just felt so completely lost and useless. Her mother didn't want her around and her father didn't care. Her brothers had lives of their own and her sister, the only person she could ever talk to, was literally thousands of miles away at college. If there was an epitome of feeling alone, Haley surmised, this is was it.

What was the point in caring about anything, if no cared about you? It seemed like such a hopeless thought, but Haley didn't know what her alternatives were. Who was there to turn to? She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be the kind of person that could take punch after punch and still survive. She'd like to think that she was that capable. She used to believe she was. Now...now she wasn't so sure.

The wind smacked against her back, blowing a few leaves into her hair. Roughly she pulled at them with her tear stained hands, crumbling them up in her fists and then throwing what was left of the remains back out into the dark night. A tall figure came from behind the side of the tree she was sitting by, and stood in front of her. His face motionless, his stature self-assured.

"What are you doing here?"

She didn't respond.

He shifted on his feet and tried to get a good look at her face. " It's pretty late for someone like you to be out," he said, folding his arms in front of him. "Shouldn't you be hurrying home? Wouldn't want to be out past curfew now would you?"

Haley didn't bother to look up, or move. She didn't know why he was there, nor did she care. "Go away Nathan," was all she was able to mumble out, her voice tired and weak. Sh felt numb.

Nathan seemed taken aback by her attitude. Or rather lack thereof. "That's it? That's all you've got? No witty comebacks or sarcastic remarks?"

"No."

He puffed out a laugh, in amazement. "Wow. I'm surprised. I think you might actually be going soft Haley."

She couldn't bear to take this from him right now. Not when everything was falling apart. She didn't need him, of all people, making her feel worse. He could break her, and he wouldn't even blink an eye. With a heavy sigh, Haley shook her head and pulled her head away from her knees.

"You're right. Whatever it is...you're right. I'm wrong. You win. Now please... please just go away. Just leave me alone," she begged.

Nathan went to speak again, but paused. He wouldn't have seen it if she hadn't turned her face to the side just as he stepped forward, but he did. Her face caught in the light of the moon, ever so lightly and he saw it. The tear streaks running down her face like tiny rivers on a map. Her face was flushed pink and her eyes were red rimmed. It hit him in the chest like a swift kick to the groin and he staggered back slightly. His voice caught in his throat and for a minute all he could do was stare at her.

He came forward, a little unsure."Hey...are you crying?"

"No." She looked to the ground, ran her shirt sleeved arm over her face discreetly.

"Yes you are," he said, crouching down in front of her.

She turned away. "No I'm not...I just," she began, but Nathan was moving with her as she moved. "Just stop...Don't," she pleaded to him, trying to get him away. He wouldn't go away.

He took a seat beside her, not certain of why he was doing what he was doing, but knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop himself if he tried. He felt compelled to stay with her.

"Are you...um...what's wrong?"

Haley swallowed hard. Wrapped her arms around her knees tight. She could lie, she could avoid him altogether, but she didn't have the energy. "My life," she said softly. "My family...my father...my mother...everything."

God it hurt so much to say it out loud. It made her arms shake and her head pound. She chewed on her bottom lip and tried to control the sob that was attempting to come out. Nathan observed her quietly. He didn't know what to say. He was horrible at this kind of stuff. Always had been. Even when he was eleven and his favorite cousin, Kyle, got leukemia and stopped coming around he didn't cry. His mother was more upset than he was, and it was from his father's side of the family. He felt bad for his cousin, but what do you say? What do you do? Nathan never really saw the point in getting overly emotional. His father had told him emotions were for the weak minded, and for the most part he agreed.

But this wasn't about him now. This was Haley. The girl he'd spent the better part of a year, trying to avoid. Trying to not to get close to. And for what? He didn't know anymore. Sure at one point there had been a good reason, and if he thought about it hard enough that reason would probably still stand up now. But she was hurt and alone and crying.

Was he supposed to just leave her? It didn't feel like the right thing to do. It wasn't what he wanted to do.

"Is he...is she," Nathan began, but he wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say. She'd said something was wrong with her parents. But what? Were they hurt? Or did they just hurt her? Was it intentional? He didn't know. So he asked the first question that came to mind. "Are they sick or something?"

"If you call being an alcoholic and living in denial a sickness, then yeah, they're both pretty sick," Haley cringed as the words left her mouth. She could see Nathan wince out of the corner of her eye, and so she turned away again. She didn't want to be sharing this with him, but she couldn't hold it inside any longer. So much pain. All the time. It wasn't fair. She'd never done anything wrong. She was a good person, a good daughter. Why didn't her parents love her? Why didn't they love each other? Why did it all have to be so messed up? Why?

Haley squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her lips together. A quiet sob escaped her mouth and she tried to hold it back, but there was no use. Angrily she squeezed the fabric of her jeans between her fingers, as the tears on her face fell rapidly down her face. It was suffocating to feel this out of control, this vulnerable. She expected Nathan to get up and leave, or to check out completely. But he did neither, just sat quietly beside her, staring at her for a moment.

"I'm sorry," he said. Haley looked to him, their eyes connecting, and she froze. Another tear fell upon her cheek and Nathan reached up ever so lightly brushing it away.

"Why does it have to be this way," she asked. Nathan shrugged.

"I don't know...To make us a stronger maybe? Better people?...You never really know how strong you are, until someone pushes you. Sometimes those people hurt you...but in a way, they help you to see things more clearly. Whether you wanted to or not."

He was staring at her. Speaking to her, about her. He wasn't pretending, and he wasn't lying. He was just being Nathan. The real Nathan. It broke her heart, and made her want to smile at the same time. She doubted anyone ever got to see this side of him, but not many people had ever seen this side of her either.

She thought back to the first night they met, and wondered how strange it was that after all this time they would end up back together like this. He'd tried to kiss her that night but she'd refused him, knowing she could never trust herself with someone like him. He didn't think rationally. His actions were built on pure instinct and drive. He could turn her inside out if she let him, and he would have to. She was right about him back then, and she knew it, but now? Now, she just wanted to lose herself in him. Forget about everything else. It sounded like the most wonderful escape.

He was still staring at her, as small clear colored tear drops leaked out onto her face. He brushed a few more away, and Haley found herself leaning into his touch. His hands were so big and beautiful. So strong. Could they be strong enough for the both of them? Could they take her away from all this misery?

"Nathan..." she uttered, realizing what she was about to do.

"Yeah," he leaned in closer to her.

"Kiss me," she whispered to him.

He didn't speak, didn't hesitate, just moved forward, cupping her face in both palms and softly bringing her lips to his. His mouth was warm, and his body felt safe around hers. Nothing else mattered...

………..

They sit quietly on the park bench, Haley resting her head against Nathan's shoulder. He's lightly strumming his fingers on the inside of her palm, and it's beginning to make her tickle, but she doesn't care. It feels entirely too nice for her to ever ask him to stop.

She still hasn't asked him why he's brought her here. She doesn't question his motives. Sometimes, Nathan does things just because. Whether he feels he needs to do it, or he wants to, is irrelevant, because he does it all the same. There's no point in asking why. Haley knows this. So she just sits and lets him lead.

He's being oddly quiet tonight, and he hasn't spoken much since they got to the Rivercourt. She figures he has things on his mind, but she wishes he would talk about it more.

"So are you sad you missed it?"

"Missed what," he asks, pulling his eyes away from the court, so that he could focus on her.

"Senior Prom," she answers, and Nathan watches a smile slowly emerge onto her mouth. He should've guessed that she would remember it was tonight.

He doesn't contemplate the question long. Simply shakes head and says, "No."

"Really," she's shocked. She's always assumed he would want to be a part of something so many people consider a rite of passage in highschool. But then again, Nathan's always surprised her. "You know you were probably going to win Prom King."

He shrugs nonchalantly, in that way of his that says he could care less. "So? Dressing up in formal wear and hanging out in a hotel ballroom is not what I would call a good time. Besides, I'm where I want to be."

He's shocked her again. Twice in one night. That should be some kind of record.

"Is that right," she asks, her smile playful, her eyes sparkling.

"Yeah, that's right," his voice is deep and low as he leans down and captures her lips with his own. His tongue gently finds its way inside her mouth and his hands come around and pull her closer to him. Haley runs her hands over the smooth skin on the nape of his neck, letting her fingers caress the fine dark hairs there.

They both pull away for breath and an idea pops into Nathan's head.

"Come here," he grabs a hold of her hand and begins to guide her off the park bench.

"What? Why," she looks at him, completely lost.

"Don't ask questions," he smiles with goofball charm. Directs her to the middle of the court, and then stops. "Just wait here."

A laugh bubbles up from Haley's throat and she shakes her head. "Nathan you're being weird...What are you doing?"

"Hold on," he calls back to her and heads to his car.

She watches as he opens the door and sticks his key in the ignition A loud, rough RB song, beats back heavily for a few seconds before she hears it switched off and the radio turned on. He's leaning half in, half out of his car, turning the dial on his radio, passing up a few country pop music stations, until he finally stops on a smooth 50's ballad-something he would assume would be more acceptable to her.

As he walks back, she's giving him a confused look, with that silly smile still on her face.

"Oldies? See I always knew you were secretly a softy Nathan. Of course you'd never admit it. You're too busy being macho, playing sports and listening to rap. It's a wonder you even hav–

"Haley," he cuts in stopping her.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up. I'm trying to have a moment with you, here."

Haley tries to feign hurt, but laughs regardless. Nathan lets a smile of his own creep out and steps to Haley. He takes one of her hands in his and pulls her closer to him, wrapping his free arm around her waist.

She lets herself fall into his grasp. " You're trying to have a moment? Really? And what kind would that be," she asks playfully.

"One of the dancing variety. Now c'mere and be quiet."

A soft giggle comes free, at how serious he's being. It's sweet, and endearing, and so Nathan. It's hard for her not to tease him, because he's so horrible with this romantic stuff. It either never occurs to him to do something, or when he does it's overly cheesy. At least he's trying, she thinks. At least he's here with her.

The music in the background is soft and soothing against her ears. She rests her head on Nathan's chest, and sways with him back and forth. Everything else just seems to disappear.

………..

It could've been forever. She doesn't know how long they've been dancing, or how much time has gone by, and she doesn't much care.

She can feel Nathan turn his left arm up to look at his watch. "It's late," he finally says. "I should probably get you home."

Haley presses her face into his chest and wraps her arms around his middle. "I don't want to," she whines, like a petulant child. "Lets just stay here."

"We can't spend the night in the park Haley," he laughs, pulling her arms free from his body, but continuing to hold onto her hands.

"Sure we can," she nods. "The squirrels won't mind. I guarantee it."

"No. But the police might."

"Fine. Fine. I'll just sleep in the car then,"

Nathan laughs again. "You're not serious."

Haley puffs out a long sigh and lets her head fall back. "No. But I really don't want to go home. Ugh, I just...I wish I could stay with you."

Nathan drops one of her hands and runs his hand over her shoulder and back. "Well, you can if you want. My parents are out of town for the week. So it's just me anyway."

"Your parents left you alone the weekend of Prom? Do they trust you that much?"

It's not quite the answer he was looking for. "Um maybe. Who knows? So... do you want to stay over?"

He asks her this with trepidation. Haley can see that he's afraid that she thinks the only reason he's offering to let her spend the night, is because he expects something. But he doesn't. She knows he doesn't, and that's why she smiles and leans into him again.

"Yeah," she replies, and for once, it feels like things might actually be ok.