Chapter 12
I Fall Deep Into What's For Me UnseenThe ride from the Rivercourt to Nathan's home feels much longer than it is, and Haley can see his hands twitch against the steering wheel. Her own hands move over his thigh and he turns and smirks at her with honest eyes. Something within her is building up, growing, wanting to escape and she doesn't think she can hold it back any longer. She doesn't want to hold it back any longer.
…………..
Nathan's house is gigantic in a way that is more intimidating to her than most people are. It's dark from the outside in, and his bedroom is tucked away in the far corner of the second floor, but it's spacious. Haley follows behind him into the room and stands quietly as he thumbs off his shoes and shirt. He pulls the covers on his bed back and then returns to her.
He leans down and presses a soft kiss against her lips. It's a tender, sweet moment, and Haley wants to savior it for what it's worth. But when Nathan's hand brush the side of her waist, when his bare skinned chest presses against her breasts she doesn't think about sweet and tender. She thinks about Nathan standing in front of her, half naked in his room, staring at her with beautiful big blue eyes, and soft pretty lips. And she doesn't want wait any longer. She wants Nathan. Now.
Using her strength, she leans up on the heels of her feet. It feels awkward for her to push herself into Nathan, to pull his head down farther so that she can deepen the kiss more. She refuses to care. Nathan's hands on her body, his warm pepperminty breath falling onto her skin, causing her spine to tingle and her knees to weaken, it's all giving her this visceral feeling of being completely weightless and grounded at the same time. She's never been the type to be called aggressive, she's logical, and practical, but she's not aggressive. That's usually Nathan's role. He enjoys that role. He's used to that role.
Tonight's different.
When Haley wraps her arms tight around his neck and sucks hard on his bottom lip he can't help but raise his eyebrows. Haley thinks in most cases she would be downright proud of herself for catching the Great Nathan Scott so off guard, but in this moment it would take far too much time to form such a reaction and she has to keep kissing him.
She involuntarily grabs the sides of Nathan's face, to do just that. Wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulling him back to her again. The feel of a light smirk spreads over Nathan's mouth but it doesn't stay there long. Soon he's leaning into, almost on top of her, his breathing becoming deep and rapid. Low guttural moans escape his throat as he tastes the sweet crevices of her mouth, kissing her tangy lips, her cheek, peppering reverent kisses along her jaw line and onto her neck.
Nathan starts to move Haley toward his bed, and she follows him willingly. They fall onto the mattress together and Nathan makes sure Haley rests gently on top of him her legs straddling his stomach. His hand is lying on the flat curve of Haley's waist, where her shirt has rode up her body. The wind taps upon his window outside and he can hear Haley's movements, but everything else is quiet. Nathan pulls away from her mouth for a momentary breath. He stares into her face and almost forgets what he was doing. His body's forgotten. He hardly knows who this is, whose skin he's touching. The faint light in the room moves, scattered by the swaying tree branches and street lamp that hides behind them.
Haley moves against his hand, scoots farther down his body and then leans down onto his chest, moving closer look at him. Nathan feels like he's teetering on the edge of waking. He zoned out somehow. He can't quite pull himself out of it.
He watches Haley sit up and waits for her to speak. They can do this later, when she's ready, and not just looking for a bed to sleep in to get away from her mother. They can do this another time. They can do it when everything is easier. They can do it later.
But Haley leans in and kisses his mouth with wet, smooth lips, lightly. Pulls back and Nathan stares at her and thinks, What am I doing?
He's never thought that before, and it takes him by surprise. Haley's just a girl, with brown hair and a soft face, but in this moment she seems to almost glow, gain some sort of inner peace that wasn't there before.
Ready for anything. Nathan realizes that Haley is ready and he isn't, and that is inot/i a reassuring thought. What happened to his hard-earned detachment? He's sitting here admiring the lines of Haley James's face and dreaming away, and the world keeps turning outside.
Nothing is different, nothing at all, but Haley reaches for him with hands that are much more delicate than his, and Nathan lets himself fall into her.
…………
Hours or maybe minutes later, Haley wakes up. It's dark still, but the early morning light is fading into the windows in blue-gray hues. The room looks huge and her right arm is caught between her pillow and Nathan's head and is painfully numb. She tugs at it slowly and Nathan's grumbles something under his breath, then turns over.
She remembers suddenly that she is not at home. She is naked, in Nathan Scott's bed, his warm body asleep right next to her. She smiles, and runs a hand over his hair, careful not to wake him.
She stares at him for a few precious minutes before she realizes that she's a) very thirsty and b) very much in need of a bathroom. She eases her arm away from Nathan's head, gets up and pulls on a pair of hiss boxers and his shirt from the night before. She brings the fabric of the collar up to her nose and smells the faint traces of his cologne and his own distinct fragrance still lingering there. It's still cold inside the room and she thinks about taking the blanket off the bed, but she can't get to it–Nathan's wrapped in it. Of course he'd be a blanket hog.
And Haley's body feels sore. It's more tired than anything else, but in the good way. If there even is such a thing.
Nathan moves on the bed again, as if he can sense that she's not there anymore. He shifts in his position restlessly, before settling back down into place. Haley watches all of this with concentration. There is something beautiful about seeing Nathan so vulnerable in front of her like this. No façade to mask what he's always trying to hide. It's just Nathan, exposed….open.
Haley tries to be quiet when she leaves the room, but once she's in the hall she's not quite sure what direction she should go and she ends up running into a small decorative table sitting in the middle of hall. She rubs at her stubbed toe and continues downstairs.
She searches and finds the kitchen first. She passes by it still looking for the bathroom, and a man with Nathan's eyes and Nathan's mouth looks up from a newspaper and a cup of coffee to examine her with an expression of mild disgust.
She freezes where she is. Thankfully she pulled on clothing before she left Nathan's room, but she's nevertheless disheveled and wearing Nathan's clothes, a noticeably large hickey showing on the side of her neck. It's so painfully blatant what she's just done by the way she looks. He must know.
Unsure of what to do, Haley blinks and he just stares at her coolly, she can't even move.
"Are you done," he says, and his voice is heavy and thick. He looks drowsy from what she can tell, but not mad. Just an eerie sense of quietness surrounds him.
"I-I was just," she stammers. " Uh…. bathroom."
He goes back to his newspaper without another.
When Haley comes back from the bathroom, he's still there. "Would you tell Nathan I'd like to speak with him," he says without looking up as she passes by.
"Okay," she says.
Nathan is half awake, half asleep sitting up on the edge of the bed, his arms resting on his legs. Haley walks up to him and runs her fingers over his bare shoulder. "Um, your—" she starts.
"I know," he says stiffly and pushes past her.
……………
"Hello son," Dan Scott says when Nathan comes into the kitchen. Haley stays just outside and listens.
"Dad," Nathan replies.
"I think it's time your friend goes home now. We can go out for an early breakfast, discuss some things." He doesn't smile. Nathan doesn't smile, but he's staring at the older man with a face that's gone completely still. Haley fidgets unconsciously.
Nathan tries to shove his hands in his pockets and realizes he doesn't have any on the gym shorts he's wearing. "I'll drive Haley home."
Dan gives Nathan a displeased look at his words, and turns to his paper, as if he hasn't heard anything.
Nathan stands there and waits for his father to say something, to reply in any kind of form, and his shoulders go tense, he glances over his shoulder. Haley takes a step back. She's still wearing his clothes. She hadn't even noticed. Part of her wants to go comfort Nathan, make that frown on his face go away, rub his back maybe. She can tell that he knows she's in the room and it's making him that much more tense.
Soon that ever present mask of his will slide back into place and the little bubble that they had created for themselves last night where no else mattered, and everything was perfect, is going to burst. She can already feel the reality of her own life beginning to seep back into her bones, making her feel strained, old beyond her years.
Nathan doesn't turn around when he hears her leave to go back upstairs. He stands in the middle of the kitchen, still and straight-backed. His hands by his sides, but his fingers twitch restlessly. His fathers sits, impassive. It's the beginnings of a staring contest. One, Nathan is not going to win.
………………
Fifteen minutes pass by and Haley waits in Nathan's room, redressed in her own clothes. He comes in, that strained expression still on his face, and he blows out a breath of air. He doesn't say anything to her, just goes about changing into more appropriate clothing for the day.
"I'm sorry Nathan," she's not sure why she says it. It's not as if she's done anything wrong. Still, the words come out of her mouth involuntarily. " Is your Dad really mad?"
Looking around the room, Nathan grabs a blue polo from his closet and pulls it over his head. Then, goes to the bathroom to run a wet comb through his hair. He comes back in and snatches his wallet and keys off his dresser. After what seems forever, he finally glances down at Haley still waiting on the bed, her eyes a mixture of so many emotions. He treads slowly over to her and offers his hand.
"Actually," he says uneasily. "My Dad wanted me to invite you and your parents to my graduation party next week."
Oh. Well that's not what she was expecting.
"Really," she asks incredulous.
"Yeah," he mumbles and moved forward with her.
Haley's heart beats fast. To be yearning for acknowledgment for so long and not able to express it, Haley thinks she should be happier about Dan Scott's invitation. But Nathan isn't talking and she is clueless as to what to say now.
She doesn't say anything, instead she takes Nathan's hand as a small smile spreads onto her face. She gulps back a breath and entwines her fingers with his, but his skin is cold and his touch provides no consolation.
