Chapter 13

I Can't Live Alone In This Lie

A week has gone by since the incident with Nathan's father, and despite the awkwardness of that situation Haley finds herself back within the walls of the Scott abode for Nathan's Graduation party. She quietly sits in the corner of the family room, alone, watching as people mingle with each other. In the distance she can see her mother and father outside chatting with a few of the basketball player's parents. They smile, and laugh and make appropriate jokes at the appropriate times while they sip at their wine, and Haley thinks that maybe she worried too much about asking them to come today.

It was such a hassle at first. Trying to convince her mother to come to the party after the Graduation Ceremony. With the promise, however, that Haley would not bother her if she chose to drink, her mother had conceded. The proposition made Haley physically sick to her stomach at the time, but the notion of missing out on Nathan's partyof getting a chance to actually be in public with him for the first time was something she wasn't willing to pass up. For her mother's part, she appeared to be doing well at the moment, even perhaps enjoying herself, which brought a small, almost indistinguishable smile to Haley's face.

It faded as soon as it came when she saw Nathan cut across the hall from the room she was sitting in and realized she'd been there over an hour now and the most she'd been around him was during the thirty second greeting he gave her when she came in. He'd made an excuse shortly after about needing to talk with a few guys on the team that might be potential teammates of his next yearand then he was gone. At first Haley had attempted to follow after him, waiting for him to finish so that they could walk around together. But when five minutes of talking turned into fifteen and then into twenty-five, she'd made the choice to grab something from the bar to drink. When she returned, he was gone yet again.

She'd found her current spot in the corner of the room, once she'd made a quick sweep through the party to find that most of the people that were there either didn't know her, or really didn't appear to want to get to know her. So she took her seat in the corner and observed.

Actually it's quite a pleasant view, she thinks, watching everybody from the outside as she is, the scent of freedom in the air intoxicating to everyone around her. For all intents and purposes this is the kind of graduation party she's always dreamed of.

Except for in her dream she was in her own home, in a house filled with her smiling friends and loving family. The reality...her sitting off to the side of the room balancing a drink on her knee, while her parents mingle speaking of solely themselves, and her only touchstone through this entire experience is suddenly nonexistent, only makes her yearn for that dream even more.

In all honesty, it's not so much that she expects Nathan to be by her side throughout the entire party. It's not that she wants to be his shadow either. They were going to be in this together, thought, or at least that's what she had assumed. Now, Haley thinks, she was horribly wrong.

"Having fun," a distinctly female voice asks her, pulling her away from her thoughts.

Haley glances up at the dark striking features of the brunette in front of her and tries not to grimace. She was completely content being left alone...well maybe not content, but definitely alright with being alone. She knows the appearance of Brooke talking to her, especially at this party, will only end badly. There's no chance of escape now, this she knows, so instead she smiles up brightly at the other girl and nods cordially.

"Yes I am," she trails off in thought. "...it's a lovely party."

The corner's of Brooke's mouth curve up, her eyes glisten. She knows Haley's bluffing, and she calls her on it with just a simple look and a sharp laugh. "Right. So you're just sitting in the corner by yourself for kicks then?"

Haley flinches at Brooke's question and averts her eyes to a very interesting speck of dust on the ground. "Is there something I can do for you Brooke?"

Brooke takes a seat beside her. "I was curious if you knew where Nathan was," she maligns, her right eyebrow jutting up in a crisp edge. When Haley doesn't respond, Brooke nudges her with her elbow. "Ya know, your new boyfriend."

Haley's throat feels dry and her hands are clammy and wet. She brushes a loose strand of hair behind her ear and meet's Brooke's eyes. "I think he's outside."

"Why aren't you with him," she asks sweetly, her smile fakely innocent. Haley's eyes narrow into thin harsh slits for half a second before she composes herself. She's not going to let Brooke get to her. She'd not going to let Brooke ruin this party for.

"That's none of your business," she spits out with venom and Brooke looks almost taken aback by the other girl's words. That ever-present plastic mask spreads over her face too quickly for anyone to catch her however.

"Hey! No need to get your panties in a twist Miss Valedictorian," Brooke scrunches up her nose at Haley condescendingly, as if she is a child, and pokes her lightly in the arm. "I simply asked because I wanted to know how well you two were getting along...Now that your official and everything. I figure I have the right to at least ask, seeing as I was his girlfriend first. But if you don't want to answer then whatever."

"I shouldn't...I mean I don't think...," Haley grasps for words, glancing around the room at all the people. Nathan's house seems all of sudden not so big anymore, and she wishes she were anywhere but right there. It makes no sense that Brooke would even be at Nathan's graduation party considering how badly things ended between them. In town like this, and with families as wealthy as Brooke's and Nathan's, their parents being friends, business partners, and the like, it's logical they would eventually cross each other's paths again. Rationally Haley knows this, but she doesn't want to be rational right now. She wants to run from the room and into Nathan's arms where she feels safe.

She has this written all over her face, and Brooke can read her emotions well. Better, Haley thinks, than most of her own family. Maybe Brooke's not as a oblivious as everyone believes. Haley tries to turn away but Brooke places her hand on her arm and she stills.

"I get it now–why you wanted to be with him. Why you used to look at him all the time. Even before he knew you existed. I get it...You want this life. You want to be a part of this crowd...this world," she waves her arm holding her wine glass around the room at all the people. "so bad you can taste it. And you're not. And it kills you how unfair it is that someone like me, has everything you want, everything you think you deserve. Nathan in his all-star glory is the epitome of this world to you. The holy grail of happiness. Except that he's as screwed up as the rest of us, and if you can't see that Miss Valedictorian, then you're just as blind as the rest of them."

Haley takes in a shallow breath. She can feel her heart pounding in her chest. Her face is pale. "You including yourself in that statement?"

Brooke lets out a real laugh at that and she runs her tongue along the bottom of her teeth "Why do you think I'm over here talking to you," she says, going suddenly serious then and Haley stares at her perfect face, her perfect hair, her perfect dress and perfect nails and thinks that Brooke may be able to read her emotions, but she doesn't understand her. Not at all. And that's a freeing thought.

She gets up from her seat, clutching her purse in between her arm and her body, she turns to her. "You know what Brooke? You don't know anything about Nathan, or me for that matter. And I'm sorry you got hurt...I am. But that gives you no place in my life. Or my business. So please don't bother me again."

She takes a few steps to the open hallway when Brooke cuts in. "I'm not the bad guy in this scenario ok. I'm just trying to give you some advice...Whether or not you want to use that information is up to you."

"I'll remember that," Haley replies, and then walks out of the room.

Half-way down the hall, her palms still sweaty and her face in need of a splash of water, Haley sees a queue of people waiting to get into the bathroom and makes a beeline for the one upstairs. When she comes out a few minutes later, she runs into Nathan, his body tucked away in the darkened edge of the hall, his eyes closed and his head resting up against the wall.

She's so happy to see him by himself that she doesn't notice what's troubling him. She walks up in front of him, making her steps light.

"Hey," she tries with a good amount of cheer. Nathan opens his eyes and cracks a grin at her.

"Hey yourself," he breathes out in a husky tone. Haley worries her bottom lip between her teeth and watches him, observes how tired and worn out he looks. She's not sure if she should ask him how everything's going or leave him be. He beats her to the punch.

"So...you having fun," he asks, echoing Brooke's earlier words.

Haley gives him a weak smile. "I'm having a good time. A-a great time in fact! A great time," she nods with vigor, but Nathan doesn't buy it.

He puffs out a laugh and pulls his hands out of his pockets to run them over his face. "Yeah... me too," he adds sarcastically, with a fake smile, and Haley can't help but laugh as well. Nathan's been to enough of these type of parties to know that none of them are ever really fun. No one ever really has a good time. It's all for show. Most of the people are fake. It's all so fake. He's not use to it and he's lived with it his entire life, he knows Haley can't be use to it. He doesn't blame her.

It quiets down in the hallway for a moment once their laughter dies down, and their eyes connect. Nathan's blue ones meeting her brown. There's relief in that instant...calm.

"C'mere," he whispers, and pulls Haley to him, tucking her head under his chin and wrapping his arms around her body. Haley buries her face in Nathan's warm chest and locks her arms around his middle, letting his embrace melt everything else away.

"So this is weird," she finally says a few minutes later. Nathan stirs a little but doesn't release his hold on her.

"You didn't say that the other night," he jokes, and she jabs him in the side with her finger.

"No," she giggles. "I mean, us, together, at your parents house like this, in front of all your friends, and these people I don't know—It's weird. I thought it would be uncomfortable. I pretty much planned on it. But it's so much more than that. It's just so awkward. I don't know..."

"Do you want to go back to hiding," he suggests, even though he knows it would be pointless now.

"No, of course not," she pauses, taking in a breath and smelling the cologne on his shirt. "I just wish I fit in better. I hate feeling like such a loser."

"But see that's why I like you," Nathan teases and Haley jabs him again.

"You're a funny guy you know that? When did you become such a funny guy?"

"I have many, many layers," he smirks, bringing his hand to her face and tilting her chin up so that his thumb can slowly trace the curve of her cheek Haley leans in to brush her lips against his in response, his lips and tongue caressing her lips in the most tender, gentle touches she's ever felt.

"Mmm……" Haley murmurs against Nathan's lips as the two of them stagger back and forth in the corner of the hallway. Her hands graze across the strong outlines of his body, dropping her purse on the ground as she does so.

"We should go," Nathan reluctantly adds, his lips abandoning hers to trail feather-light kisses down the side of her throat. His mouth latches onto one particularly sensitive spot, right over her throbbing pulse point, and begins to suck vigorously.

"You're right," she replies, turning her head and meeting his mouth again, letting his tongue slip over her lips teasingly.

"I am," he breathes into her mouth, his large hands cupping her face, his forehead pressing into hers.

"Yeah," she gulps back, running her hands along Nathan's side one last time before extracting herself from him entirely. "We should get back to the party. It's only polite."

Nathan groans. "Oh, and you know how much I enjoy being polite," he smiles tightly.

Haley catches his hand before it creeps back into his pants pocket and entwines their fingers together. Letting her thumb rub small circles into his flesh. "I suppose we could always escape out the back if you really wanted."

"What? And be murdered bloody by my father? No thank you."

"Back to the party then," Haley gestures to the stairs, and Nathan grabs her purse off the ground handing it to her.

"Back to the party," he nods solemnly.

Haley smiles up at him as brightly as she can and lets him lead the way.

He's still holding her hand as they make it back down to the crowd.