Chapter Two: Wednesdays

Wednesdays are 'dinner nights' at the Black house. Sirius and Remus get the kids to cook something more than chocolate chip cookies and toast. London and Juliana come home. Maple and Morgan don't schedule dates. Raine runs across the street at seven twenty five sharp to get James, Lily, Harry, and Violet. Between the five of them, six or seven pans make it across the street. Everybody sits down to eat at seven thirty. Nobody leaves until at least eleven.


Maple was hopping around the kitchen with a bag of flour in her hand. "Whadja do? Whadja do?" she asked Morgan and Raine, hoping the two of them would give up more than the cornbread recipe. No such luck.

"Maple, knock it off." Sirius said, relieving her of the flour and handing it to his husband. "Do you need a measuring cup?" he asked, stealing Raine's. "You were done using that weren't you, honey?"

Raine smiled and rolled her eyes. "Yes, Daddy. Why don't we use magic to cook?"

Remus laughed. "Because your father doesn't know how to cook with magic. Last time he tried, we had eggs stuck to the ceiling for a week."

"Why didn't you use a cleaning spell?" Maple asked, throwing noodles into a pot on the stove.

"Because we were fifteen years old and on summer holiday." Remus answered. "And my mother would have killed me if I had told her. When she finally figured it out, she assumed it was your Aunt Martina and let it go. Butter."

Maple reached across the table and handed it to her father. "How did you do magic without getting caught?" she asked innocently.

Sirius grinned. "You're not getting any ideas that easily, May." He reached out and ruffled her hair, the four on his hand showing up very well in his daughter's brown hair.

"Dad!" Remus leaned in and kissed his husband on the mouth, lingering for a second. May threw her hands up in the air. "Get a room." Sirius smiled through the kiss.


"Please?" Morgan begged, getting down on his knees and hugging Raine's legs. "Please, Ray? Please, please, please?"

"Dad-dy!" Raine yelled in her typical demeanor. "Morgan's trying to dye my hair again!"

"Morgan, stop trying to dye your sister's hair." Remus hollered up the stairs. "Dye your own."

"But Dad said I couldn't dye mine until school started again." Morgan protested.

"I overrule that decision." Remus answered. "Go dye your hair." He started up the stairs as Morgan dashed into his bedroom search for hair potion. Raine was attacking her own wet hair with a brush. In the room next to Morgan's, Maple was pinning up more posters of Merlin's Robes. (The five guys who ran around the stage in torn robes and sang off key were the new craze of the wizarding world.)

He walked to the oak door at the end of the hall. Sirius was lounging on their bed rereading Norma Vance's newest gay romance novel. He looked up and put the book down. "What's wrong?" he asked, concern in his voice.

Remus smiled. "Nothing. I just put the pie in the oven." He flopped down on the bed beside Sirius. "It's our anniversary day after tomorrow."

"I know." Sirius said uncertainly.

"No, you don't." Remus said, grabbing his husband's hand and kissing it. "That's why I told you. You can't remember dates of anything."

Sirius stuck out his bottom lip, working the pout for all it was worth. "I try." He laid his head on Remus' chest.

Remus ran his fingers lightly through Sirius' hair. "And this is why I love you so."

Sirius looked up and smiled impishly. "You love me?"

Remus snorted. "I hope so. I had five children with you, Siri." Sirius reached up and pulled his husband down for a passionate kiss. "Another reason I love you." Remus breathed when they came up for breath.

"And what's that?" Sirius fell back on the bed, pulling Remus on top of him.

"You're damn good in bed."

Sirius smiled. "That's a good reason."

"A very good reason." Remus agreed.


"How did you get American stations on that radio?" Maple asked as Raine turned up a country station.

"I'm a genius." Raine said, sticking out her tongue. "Everybody says, 'save a horse, ride a cowboy'."

"Not that much of a genius." Morgan teased, coming downstairs with bleached white hair. "You are listening to Yanks' music, after all. But I wouldn't mind saving a horse and riding a cowboy."

"Your sister's too young to hear that kind of talk." Sirius said, coming down the stairs in jeans and one of Morgan's tee shirts.

"Hey, that's mine!" Morgan said at the same time Maple said, "Raine's the one who put the music on the radio."

"Yes, I know this shirt's yours, Morgan. But I bought it, so I can wear it. And Raine, do you really have to broadcast American channels through our radio?" Sirius asked, tweaking his youngest child's nose.

"Daddy, I know what it means. I did go out with a twenty-one year old, you know." Raine dashed out of the room with a huge grin on her face and her long hair blowing behind her.

"So that's what she did!" Maple yelled. "Raine! Wait up!" The brunette ran after her sister. "Was he hot?" Morgan and Sirius heard her yell.

"Does she really care if he was hot?" Sirius asked his son.

Morgan shook his head. "No. She's just going to brag to all her friends that her baby sister managed to get out of the house with a twenty-one year old male in tow." There was a knock on the door. "I'll get it."

He came back in a minute later with Lily. The redhead walked straight up to Sirius, her eyes wide. "Is it normal for him to have two dates in one night, if one's with a girl and the other one's with a boy?"

Sirius nodded slowly. "Yes. Ask Morgan."

"Well, is it normal for these to fall out of his pockets when he's leaving the house?" Lily held up a small plastic packet.

"If he's dating a Muggle, then it's probably very normal." Sirius said.

"I don't know if he's dating a Muggle!" Lily shrieked hysterically. "It changes every night. Sometimes I'm not even sure what sex they are, let alone if they're having it!"

Morgan watched the two adults intently. "Well, did James give him the talk yet?" Sirius asked, taking the condom from Lily and examining it with mild interest.

"Two years ago." Lily said. "The same time you gave it to Raine, remember?"

"Yeah, that's right." Sirius recalled. "Look, sweetie. Sit down, I'll get you a drink. He turned his head toward the stairs. "Remus?"

"Babe?" Remus appeared at the top of the stairs in a pair of jeans with a towel around his neck.

'Lily.' Sirius mouthed.

Remus nodded. "I'll be right down."

When Sirius turned back around, Morgan was sitting next to 'Aunt' Lily on the couch. ". . . if he needs a steady boyfriend, I'm sure"

"Morgan, shut up and go outside." Sirius said, pointing to the door.

"Da-ad!"

"There's a cute guy smoking on the street corner." Morgan was gone in seconds. Sirius shook his head and poured Lily a glass of wine. He sat down beside her on the couch and handed her the crystal. "He's got strange ideas about how to help, but he tried."

Lily smiled. "He acts like you." She took a sip of the chardonnay.

"Me?" Sirius asked, mock offended. "Excuse me, but I never remember offering to date people's sexually hyperactive sons."

"No," Lily admitted, "but when you found out what a bitch Petunia was, you did suggest a 'good snog' might help."

Remus sank into an armchair and poured his own glass of wine. "And you and James wonder what I see in him." he teased. "Okay, Lil. What's up?"

"James thinks I'm being silly, but I just don't think it's normal for Harry to sleep with every boy or girl he meets." Lily explained. "I mean, does Morgan?"

Remus shook his head slowly. "No. Morgan just sleeps with the boys."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You." She shook her finger at him. "You and you." She pointed at Sirius. "You and you and James. You'll be the death of me."

Raine came bursting in through the front door trying not to laugh. "Lily, Uncle James says you need to come home because the stove's on fire and Harry's gotten himself and a girl pregnant."

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Go tell your Uncle James to kiss my arse."

Raine's eyes lit up. "Will do." She took off before Remus could protest the use of language.

"I never though you would be teaching my daughter so swear." he told Lily.

The redhead grinned. "Nah. Don't give me that much credit. Sirius is the one who taught her how to swear. I'm just encouraging it."


Dinner started at six thirty. Lily and Harry were refusing to speak to each other, although Morgan and the latter were talking rapidly in hushed tones. Remus had a fairly accurate idea what about.

Raine had refused to sit between Morgan and Maple. Maple was continuing to pester her about Todd and Morgan wouldn't talk about anything but sex. So she was now sitting between James and Sirius. Pouting.

"If your lip sticks out much farther it's going to stay that way." James teased. "Aww, c'mon Ray. Turn that frown upside down." He poked her.

"You sound like your wife." Rain muttered, poking him back.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Lily said, handing Maple the chicken casserole. Her eyes lingered on her son for a moment before Violet got her attention.

"Momma, Kendra's having a sleepover tomorrow night. Can I go?" Lily nodded dismissively.

London was skipping on the carbs and drinking ice water instead of beer while Remus was trying to convince him to eat more than a salad. "Why are you on a diet?" he demanded. "You have your father's bone structure. You don't need to lose weight."

London rolled his eyes and handed Juliana the plate of rolls their father was trying to convince him to eat. "I'm not dieting. I'm maintaining my weight." he said in a low voice so Sirius wouldn't hear. "I got this pair of leather pants for our new gig and if I gain any weight, they won't fit." Remus moved to tap Sirius on the shoulder. "Don't tell Dad." London protested. "He's just going to give me another lecture and tell me not to wear pants if they don't fit."

"And he's right." Remus said. "Don't wear them if they don't fit."

"But they do fit." London pointed out. "Barely."

On the other side of London, Juliana was arguing with her father. "So she went on a date with a twenty one year old. She obviously came home safe with her virginity still intact. Right, Ray?"

Raine blushed scarlet and nodded. "Yes."

"See?" Juliana said. "No harm, no foul." She passed Lily the potatoes. "You never got mad at me for dating Sarah."

"That's different." Sirius said, taking a bit of the lasagna.

"How?" Juliana challenged.

Remus poured himself more wine. "Because your father's something of a . . . .sexist is the wrong word." He paused thoughtfully as everybody listened in. "He thinks it's okay for boys to sleep with boys and girls to sleep with girls, but under no circumstances should a teenage girl sleep with a boy."

Sirius glared at his husband. "I never said that."

"Yes, you did." Remus said with a slight smile on his face. "But I forgive you." He held up his glass. "Cheers."


"Lily's being overdramatic." James said with an obvious fondness. "I told her it's normal for teenage boys to have sex. A lot."

"He's fifteen." Remus reminded him.

"And how old were you two when you started sleeping together?" James asked, eyebrows raised.

Sirius choked on laughter as Remus glared at him, then turned back to James. "That's different. A monogamous sexual relationship is different than sleeping with another person every night of the week." he said, trying to keep his voice calm as Sirius ran his fingers along the nape of his neck.

"Okay." James admitted. "You two are a bad example. You've been together since you were twelve. But remember me in school? Before Lily and I started dating?"

Sirius grinned. "You mean when you were just an idiot as opposed to a whipped idiot?"

James made a face. "Yeah. That's what I was referring to." he said sarcastically. "no. Remember all the girls I dated?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "No. You dated them? I thought they were just your study partners."

James chuckled. "Look, the point is that I turned out just fine. Married, two kids. There's nothing to suggest Harry will be damaged for life."

"Except that Lily's going to kill him." Remus pointed out.

"Nah, she wouldn't kill him." James said. "They're not talking."


"So . . ." Juliana began, reapplying her lip gloss and looking at Raine in the mirror. "Was he worth it?"

"Not really." Raine admitted, playing with her toes. "He was kind of an arse. But he was cute."

Juliana smiled. "Take it from a pro. Next time, tell them you're coming to visit me. Floo to my flat and then you can Floo wherever you're going."

Raine smiled, displaying two rows of white teeth. "Will do."


Lily sat down beside her son on the couch. "Morgan." she said, trying to collect herself. "Can you give Harry and I a moment?" Morgan nodded and went across the room to fight with his twin sister over the last piece of pie. "You're grounded." Lily said softly, looking into the boy who had her own green eyes, but her husband's looks. Sometimes it was unnerving to try and ground someone who looked so much like James.

"For what!" Harry demanded. "You can't ground me just for having sex! I have rights, you know."

Lily stared at him, trying not to scream. "I can ground you. I'm your mother."

James stood up, walking toward the pair of them. Remus grabbed his arm. "Wait a second." he whispered. "Just see how she handles it. You can discuss it at home later."

Harry stood up and Lily followed suit, although Harry was two inches taller and it didn't do much in the way of intimidation. "No." he snapped. "I'm not." Then he grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the house.

Morgan followed him. "Here." Harry looked up and accepted the cigarette, letting Morgan light it for him. "You know you shouldn't have done that. James would have talked Lily out of grounding you. Now he's just going to be ticked."

"She can't ground me just for having sex. God!" He took a long drag of the cigarette. "Why can't she be like Sirius and Remus? Neither one of them care who you sleep with."

Morgan bit back a smile. "Actually, they do. But they're smart enough to realize that I'm just going to sneak out of the house if they don't let me use the front door."

Harry glared at him. "And I'm not?"

Morgan shrugged. "I don't know. Why are you sleeping with so many guys? And girls?" he added as an afterthought.

"Why do you sleep with so many guys?" Harry fired back.

Morgan put out his cigarette and lit another one. "I don't sleep with most of them." he admitted softly. "Usually it's just kissing and stuff. I probably sleep with one out of five."

"Why?" Harry asked. "Why do you let everyone think that you sleep with all of them if you don't?"

"I don't care." Morgan said. "Besides," he reached up and ruffled the taller boy's hair, "I probably will end up sleeping with them. Remember, I date ten guys a week. That's sex about twice a week."

"I sleep with everyone." Harry said, putting his cigarette out. "And I don't care."

Morgan held out his cigarette and let Harry take a drag off of it. "Yeah, you do." he contradicted. "You're not that good of a liar."

"And why would I care?" Harry snapped.

Morgan smiled and kissed his cheek. "Because your Mum's paying more attention to Violet instead of you." He turned to go back inside, but Harry caught his wrist. "Wh-"

A kiss cut off the rest of his question.


Don't worry! It's still comedy, but you need conflict for ANY story! But hey. Let me know if it should be a relationship or what. Okay?