A Series of Unfortunate Substitutes-

Samuraiduck27 and PsychoKitty13

A/N- Hello, minna!

PK13: Oh no… she's on coffee…

SD27: And guess what! It's only been… um… a small amount of days since I last posted! (big caffeine-induced smile)

PK13: How much have you had this time, SD?

SD27: … not much…

PK13: …

SD27: Fine! 5-6 cups, ya happy!

PK13: (sighs) you really need help.

SD27: I know… and lets see- wow! Geez, got a lot of reviews in a small amount of time.

PK13: No… really?

SD27: (totally missing sarcasm) Yeah- just look at the numbers! Anywho, replies are at the bottom; enjoy the chapter and please review everyone!

PK13: We'd like to hit 100 by the end of the fic, we're already at 78 and if we could get 100...

SD27: We'd be über happy! Anyways… ONWARD!

DISCLAIMER: SD and PK do not own anything but SD, PK, and the plot of this fic. Anything recognizable is not ours, though we do wish it could be…


Chapter 8- Blasts From the Past

PK and SD, after heading to PK's locker and running at the speed of…however fast they could run past the History room, were sulking on their way to Health class. If there was one teacher that would not be affected by the anime takeover, it would be Komara. Out of the entire year, he had only been gone once- and that was because of a teacher's conference. But, if he was gone… who would replace him?

"Hope it's Youko…" sighed PK.

"Betcha it's not though, I doubt he'd teach Health- doesn't really seem like the kind of guy who'd be up to it. Besides- he's a perv, would you really want him teaching Health?" replied SD.

"…Yes, yes I would." she said, a big grin on her face.

As SD sweatdropped, the two stopped in front of the Health room, stopping before buttoning up their coats- PK regretting altering hers to give it shorter sleeves for once- because Komara always kept his room at about 45° , regardless of the outside temperatures.

They headed into the room, PK taking her seat in the back and SD in her newly assigned seat in the front row, center seat. That was the price to pay for sleeping in class one too many times. They did, indeed, have a sub in this class- but they didn't know who he was because at the moment, said 'teacher' was sleeping at the desk, face down.

"Ooh- slacker of a subbie." commented PK, throwing her things down with a thump and going up with SD and inspecting the sub.

Whoever he was, he had short, black hair that was just long enough to hold in a small ponytail at the nape of his neck, gold earrings in one ear, and wore an indigo shirt under a black waist-length leather jacket. A pair of faded blue jeans completed the outfit, and what looked like little blueish-purple beads were poking out from underneath the coat-sleeve.

"I'd know this guy anywhere…"muttered SD, poking the man.

"Miroku teaching Health class, I should have known." sighed PK in response.

"Almost as bad as Youko…" added SD.

The bell rang and the two took their seats, waiting for the hentai monk to wake up with the sound of the loud, annoying bell. But to their, and most of the class's surprise, he just stirred and grumbled something under his breath before returning to his nap.

Deciding that a sleeping sub was better than an alert one, the class didn't bother trying to wake Miroku up…that is, until he started snoring… loudly.

After bearing it for about 10 minutes, a kid named Kyle got fed up and threw a wad of paper at Miroku's head, hitting the monk and waking him up.

"Demons!" he yelled sleepily, bolting half-way out of his seat before realizing that the class was staring at him oddly and/or trying not to laugh at him.

"Ano…um…hello, everyone. I'm Miroku and I'll be your substitute for today. Mr. Komara left his lesson book here, so we'll be studying…" he flipped through the slightly drool covered pages and grinned, "Sex education and abstinence."

SD banged her head on the desk, and in the back, PK did as well.

Komara is so dead when he gets back… was the unanimous thought going through the two girls' heads.

"Okay- everyone read Section 1, and after that we're going to do a little role playing game."

He's probably gonna pull his famous line on every girl in the entire class…PK thought as she got her book out from her bag and began to read.


About 15 minutes later, the class had finished and Miroku had told them to put their books away.

"Okay, class. We're gonna do one of those acting things where you guys are going to practice abstinence. I'll need a lovely lady volunteer to join me up front, so do we have any takers?"

The class was silent and looked extremely bored- when was the lunch bell gonna ring?

"None?" he asked, "Well then, I'll just have to pick one out myself."

His gaze focused on the nearest girl- which by unfortunate luck, happened to be SD.

"How about you…"

SD sent him a pointed glare that said 'pick me and I'll personally make it so you never father children'. Miroku sweatdropped and moved on to the only other girl in the front row- a blond, cheerleader type who was too busy doodling little hearts with her and her boyfriend's initials in them to notice.

Miroku walked over to the girl's desk, took her hands in his, smiled impishly and gave her his trademark pickup line.

"Would you consider bearing my children?"

The girl blushed and looked embarrassed- Miroku made it look like he was asking her for real. (He was, but she doesn't know that…)

"Ummm…no?" she stuttered.

Unfortuately for the lecherous monk, the cheerleader's boyfriend happened to have the same class as his girlfriend, and was sitting right next to her. And it didn't help much that he was one of those jealous types either.

"Hey, man- back off!" he snarled, getting up and punching Miroku in the face- sending him sprawling to the ground.

The students gasped, "ooh"-ed, and laughed at the sight, though it was the boy who had done it that looked at Miroku in shock.

"Oh shit…I am so dead." he said, before trying to help the monk up.

Miroku though, used to fighting demons, getting slapped by women on a regular basis, and basically many forms of pain, took it as nothing- although it did sting a little.

PK called out from the back, "Can you do that again? I wasn't paying attention." even though she had, but liked seeing people getting their butts kicked.

Miroku looked horrified at the thought, the cheerleader gave her boyfriend the okay if he wanted to- she thought it was sweet how he stood up for her- and Miroku's ass was saved by the perfect timing of the lunch bell.

He practically ran out of there- possibly to find more young ladies to use his line on- while the rest of the class filed out after him.


SD and PK met up with Katie at lunch and grabbed their usual table, which they also shared with a few other people. They looked at what was on the menu, and decided to head in the line selling tacos that day.

"Mmmmmm…tacos!" said SD, doing a little happy dance.

"I love tacos!" added PK.

The three got into the serving area, only to be surprised with a bunch of very familiar faces running around the area- bring trays of food in and out…and for the most part, arguing.

"No…no way!" squealed SD.

"Crap- think we're gonna have to restrain her?" muttered Katie.

"Most likely…" added PK, keeping a firm grip on SD's shoulder.

The lunch room was being run by the entire Kenshin-gumi, plus Tae, Tsubame, and Saitou- for some odd reason. Sano was flipping out from all the electronic heating systems, the stoves, and the cash registers, Yahiko and Saitou were taunting him about it while Kaoru served the food off to the students that Tae and Tsubame brought out. Kenshin was working the registers, since Sano refused to go near them, and looked as if he was on his last nerve- what with the yelling, the getting used to working with the register, the comments on his scar, Saitou and Sano fighting and him having to break them up, and the fact that Saitou was even there to begin with. (A/N: teehee… I have this mental image of an angry and twitching Kenshin wearing an apron and a hairnet…)

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Kenshin yelled, eyes glowing amber as he finally snapped.

The entire line and the RK characters looked at the mild-mannered red-head in shock. SD looked fearful- this wasn't good.

"Hn. Keep your temper in check, Battousai." Saitou smirked at the redhead, making him glare.

And once again, the fighting broke out once more… only to end up with Kenshin joining in the yelling- very unlike him- and Kaoru finally pulling out her Bokken of DOOM and knocking out Sano, Yahiko, and giving both Kenshin and Saitou large bumps on the head. Kaoru got some clapping from the students, and complaints of how the line was taking too long to move. A few threats shut them up.

SD, PK, and Katie just watched in amusement and awe as this was going on.

"Hey, what can I get you?" Kaoru asked the three when it was their turn in line.

"Taco lunch, please." said PK.

"Same here- no fruit though." Katie replied.

"Tacos, but-" SD started.

CRASH!

"Yahiko-chan! Are you okay?"

"Don't call me little!"

"Hey now- don't yell at her, ya whiny punk!"

Kaoru, SD, PK, and Katie looked behind Kaoru to see Tsubame watching on in concern as a lettuce covered Yahiko was nursing a bruised head given to him by Sano. Both guys were yelling at each other… until Kaoru turned to them with a suspiciously sweet smile before knocking them out once again.

"Now what did you say you wanted?" sighed Kaoru.

"T..tacos, and no cheese or fruit on the side please." answered SD.


After tearing away SD from the registers… or maybe we should say more like the interactions between a certain redhead, rooster head, and former Wolf of Mibu… they finally got to the table.

"So who's your sub, Katie?" inquired SD while PK dove into her tacos.

"Ugh… PK, that's gross. Oh! I've got this weird guy with green skin and pointed ears. Says his friends did it as a prank… think his name starts with a P or something. Everyone's been laughing about it. Calling him "Mr. Alien" and stuff. Kinda sad, yet very funny." Katie shrugged.

As she was talking, SD dove into her tacos as well; though she had a little bit more table manners than her brunette counterpart.

"Pwikawo?" SD said, mouth full of food.

The two, plus a few of the others who were sitting at the table with them, gave SD a grossed out look.

"Hehe… gomen. I mean, Piccolo? That one dude from DBZ?" SD apologized.

Both girls gave her a "huh?" look and SD rolled her eyes, "Never mind."

"So… who's subbing for Komara?" Katie asked, pretending not to know SD as she ate.

PK smirked, "Miroku."

"Ooh- feel bad for you. 'Specially since you guys started the sex chapter today." Katie replied.

"Don't remind me…" SD frowned, "But, it was kind of funny seeing Miroku get hit in the face."

"What? He got hit in the face? Who did it? I wanna know!"


"Okay… it seems that Mr. Komara had a few movies scheduled for when you guys came back from lunch." Miroku said as the bell rang.

Both SD and PK noticed the large amount of slap marks covering the monk's face. Men like him just won't learn…

"Is it porn?" a Random Male Student in the front row asked.

Miroku, not knowing what the hell the kid was talking about- he's from Feudal Japan, remember- just nodded his head, thinking it was the right thing to do.

"No way! Really?"

"…let's just watch the movie."

With a little bit of difficulty, Miroku managed to get the tape in the slot and turn on the TV. After all- he should've been pretty used to it after going through the same procedure about 6 times already that morning.

To the Random Male Student's and a few other RMS's in the room's disappointment, the movie was not a porn tape, but rather a very… interesting tape about some lady who goes to schools and talks about AIDS, HIV, and STD's. She had the most annoying, loud voice in the world.

Didn't help much that Miroku couldn't figure out how to turn the volume down. PK swore her ears were starting to bleed.

Miroku must have felt the same way as he fumbled with the TV controls and managed to overload the system- causing the VCR to spark and the TV to let out a ear-deafening round of white noise.

"Argh! Shut the bloody thing off!" PK yelled, moving up there, pushing Miroku out of the way, bending down, and trying to undo the damage he had started.

Soon the VCR and the TV had been shut off, and PK had dealt Miroku a good sized blow to the chin. Mental note: never turn your back to Miroku and bend down. Bad idea.

"Baka hentai… should've killed him, but noo… I'd get expelled…" PK muttered as she sat back in her seat, glowing crimson from embarrassment and anger.

SD couldn't help but let out a tiny laugh at her friend as she passed by, earning her a vicious poke to the shoulder.

"PK… that hurt! Meanie…" SD whined, clutching her arm and pouting.

PK just glared at her and growled.

"Fine, be that way… jerk." SD muttered, knowing it was all in fun and that by the end of class they'd go on as if nothing had happened, though SD's arm would more than likely still hurt and she'd complain about it.

"Okay then… looks like you guys are off the hook for today. Um… free period?" Miroku said, unsure of what to do next since he didn't want to try his hand at fixing the VCR and TV.

The class did a little cheering thingy in approval and almost instantly, at least 5 MP3 and CD players were out, 10 students exchanged seats, and a group of kids in the back row were gathered and playing poker. The classroom got noisy very fast.


About ten minutes later, a loud roar came from outside the Health classrooms and the students' gazes shifted towards the door- where a huge mob was forming.

"What the hell's going on?" muttered SD to PK, who shrugged.

A brunette boy stood up from his seat and went to the door and opened it. He stuck his head out and after a second or two, yelled out "Fight!"

Almost the entire class got up and looked out the door- two guys were fighting right outside the Health room and a ring of students had surrounded them, cheering one or the other on.

"All right, all right, everyone back off." Miroku said, pushing his way through. He went out into the hall, looked at the fight, and instead of breaking it up like one would have thought, he shrugged, came back into the room and said,

"I'm betting on the short kid."

The class looked at him as if he was nuts, and then looked back out the door as a few teachers, a principal, and two security guards came running down the hall to break up the fight. As the students were shepherded back to the lunch room, one of the teachers- the other Health teacher, Ms. Fitzgerald- saw Miroku peeking out of the room and started berating him for just standing there and watching.


(A/N: This really happened last month- the students involved in it got really beat up. Blood on the ground and officers having to break apart the huge mob. I was in the Health room when it happened, so was GDP.

GDP: Unfortunately, the sub wouldn't let us go out and see it, though she did say she'd bet on the short kid in the fight. She went out and looked at it though.

SD27: And the doors to the Health room really aren't the best ones to look out of.)


The students in the room all laughed and "ooh"-ed at the sight of him cowering under the gaze of a woman half his height and size. But then again- Ms. Fitz could be an evil, evil woman when she wanted to…

After the mob had gone and things were quiet in the halls once again, Miroku came back in the room with a traumatized looked on his face. No slap mark though- apparently he had enough brains not to try to pick up the Health teacher. Getting severely yelled at by Fitz was something no student wanted to go through. So it's safe to say that even though it was as funny as hell, SD and PK couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the guy.

Then the bell rang once again…


SD27: Meh- I didn't really like this one. Didn't come out the way I wanted it to.

PK13: Sorry to hear that- but at least it's up!

SD27: Yeah. And it's official everyone, ASOUS will have exactly 10 chapters.

PK13: Which means two more, not counting this one.

SD27: Plushies of your favorite bishies go out to the following: AnmarRanma, Nytingale, Maeleana, Black Spell, and SilverGriffen for guessing correctly in saying that the corpse described in SD's painting from Ch. 7 was Karasu from YYH. Yay for you!

PK13: Here's the review replies, we gots about 14 this time… go us!

SD27: C'mon guys- we need 12 more to hit 100!


Reviewer Replies

KrazieKim522- Well, well, lookie who we have here… hello sister deariest! I'm actually surprised you read this, let alone liked it. Am I corrupting you? lol. Yes… you'll make your appearance next chappie… don't worry. And the reason you seem random in my quotes section is that most of the time you are random. But there's nothing wrong with that. Hope you liked this one…

AnmarRamna- Thanks for reviewing! Here's your Hiei plushie- enjoy. (gives you chibi Hiei plushie) Well, me 'n PK fight a lot… not as bad as in the last chapter, but we kick each other and poke each other viciously, but we know it's all in fun. Right PK?

PK13: Sure… though I don't think it's fun. (pouts)

SD27: … hehe. Here. (gives chibi Bakura plushie) I'm sorry.

PK13: Kawaii! (hugs plushie)

Thanks again for reviewing, hoped you liked this chapter as well!

Nytingale- Thanks for reviewing! So far, there's gonna be one more class coming up and an epilogue-type chapter. I don't wanna ruin it for anyone, so you'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out who the last teachers will be. Hope you liked this one!

Maeleana- Thanks for reviewing- we wholeheartedly agree with you on Karasu. If he was real and still alive, we would have hunted him down long ago and tortured him until insanity and then killed him.

PK13: We really don't like him…

SD27: Yep. Hope you liked this chapter!

Ryushi Nagami- Thanks for correcting us on that. My mind doesn't work too well late at night. Hope you liked this chapter!

Computerfreak101- Hell yeah- we hate the Pharaoh and the friendship freak with a passion! As for the prank 'Kura wants SD and PK to do… there's not gonna be one. I just had to throw in something there. That and he's not gonna be very happy with the two girls in future chapters. You'll find out why soon enough. I still can't believe JI got deleted AGAIN! Ugh- whoever keeps doing that will pay, I swear! Why can't they just tell you instead of getting it taken down? I think it depends on the offences you have broken before you get booted off the site. Not sure about that. Oh, and if anyone tries to take down JI again, here's something for you (gives anti-flame spray) to help keep away flamers! Though since I made it, I doubt it works very well… hehe. (gives flamethrower) in case of emergencies… (big grin) Hoped you liked this chapter, thanks for reviewing!

Black Spell- Thanks for reviewing! Yeah- the DT fight with Kurama and Karasu kicked ass! Best fight in the entire series! Hoped you enjoyed this chapter!

Mew Koshou- Thanks for reviewing! Yeah, we noticed that- though in our school there's like… maybe 15 of us. And in a school of 4000 + kids, that's not a lot. Hoped you liked this chappie!

XxMidnightRosesxX- Thanks for reviewing, hoped you liked this chapter! Sorry, but we've got the last few chappies planned out, and we won't be able to fit in any Tenshi Muyo characters. Ra… it's been forever since I've watched Tenshi Muyo…

GreenEyedFloozy- Thanks much for reviewing! Glad you liked it! Poor Ryou indeed… PK's still a little upset that she scared Ryou off…

PK13: Little would be an understatement, SD…

SD27: ANYwho, that quote's Jasmine Reinier's? Meh- still a good quote never the less. Hope you liked this chappie!

SilverGriffen- (gives Duke plushie) Enjoy! Sorry, but we won't be having Duke show up. The last chapters are planned, and he's not part of them. Gomen! Thanks for reviewing, we hope you liked this chapter!

Shadowed Kitsune- Gomen! I know there was a fight and you weren't there… so sorry! (gives Riku plushie) friends? lol. Karasu teaching Art Club… with so many Kurama fans in there… oh the possibilities. (evil grin) Too bad this has only got two chappies left. Me and PK have been toying around with the idea for some deleted scenes though. Maybe you'd like to chase Karasu around with a katana or something? Hope you liked this one, thanks for reviewing!

Ira Onasi- Thanks so much for reviewing! Glad you liked it and found it so funny! Hope you liked this one!

Supper Sailor Darkness- Thanks for reviewing! You can't have the Rod! It's mine, damn it! Go ahead and turn PK into a mind puppet, see if I care! And you can't rule the world, we're already planning to do that! But, we'll let you help!

PK13: WTH? YOU'RE GONNA LET HER DO THAT TO ME?

SD27: (mumbles) not like she has a mind for SSD to control…

PK13: Excuse me?

SD27: Nothing, PK-chan! Thanks for reviewing- hoped you liked this chapter!

TiNaBoBiNa17- PK's gonna kill you for writing on her copy of chapter 7, so I'd watch out if I were you…

PK13: (sharpening katana) Oh Lily…

SD27: Anywho, glad you liked it, and yes- you and Kyle shall be in Ch.9, so get off my back! Hoped you liked this chapter!


SD27: Whew… that was a lot of typing.

PK13: (has dressed up her Ryou and Bakura plushies in little suits and has pulled out one that looks oddly like her in a wedding dress) Yeah… lotsa typing…

SD27: (sweatdrops) PK, PK, PK… Anywho, please read and review, minna! We'd really appreciate it!

PK13: Yep! Now where was I…

SD27: Gimme those!

PK13: No! You gave them to me, so they're mine!

(fighting is heard throughout authoress space)

Ja ne, minna-san!

PsychoKitty13 and samuraiduck27