Thanks to Shinigami, hornofgondor2, Vicky, Alriadne, moonyNZ & Cassandra. A HUGE thanks to NayNymic for her help with the whole school thing! Thankz for all the great reviews, guyz!
Oh, and changed the ratings system, so this is now rated T for Teen.
Chapter Five: Muggle Psychology
A few days later the twins and Raine received their school book lists. "We can go tomorrow. But you're all still grounded. This not a social trip." Remus said, glaring at his husband who was crossing and uncrossing his eyes.
"What?"
Remus sighed and poured himself more coffee. "Why did I marry you again?"
Sirius cocked his head to the side as if thinking. "Because I'm so cute?"
"Yeah, that's it." Remus confirmed. Maple poked him.
Sirius ran a hand through his hair after he lit a cigarette. "I think Morgan's smoking." he told James.
"Why do you think that?" James asked, looking toward his house. "I think Harry is, too." he said in hushed tones.
"He's probably getting them for Mor." Sirius took a drag. "Mine keep disappearing and Remus doesn't smoke the same brand."
"Maybe that's why he's so testy during the full moon." James joked. "Nicotine withdrawal." He took a cigarette from his best friend.
Two voices sounded at once. "I heard that." Remus said from the living room.
Lily was standing on her porch across the street, hands on her hips. "James Evan Potter! You told me you were quitting! And you don't encourage him, Sirius!"
"Uncle Remus?" Violet asked, latching onto the aforementioned man's arm.
"Yeah, sweetie?" he asked, checking his pockets to make sure he had the key.
"Why does Uncle Sirius say you have a stick up your butt?"
Sirius grinned naughtily as Lily smacked him upside the head. "Why do you insist on talking like that to my daughter?"
"I wasn't talking to Violet, Lil. I was talking in front of her." He scooped the younger redhead up in his arms. "To Harry." he added to spite Lily.
She smacked him again. "Stop talking to my kids like that."
"Mo-om." Harry complained. "I'm fifteen. I'm not a kid anymore." He grinned as Morgan winked at him suggestively from across the room.
"I don't care if you're twenty-six." Lily teased. "never listen to anything this man says." She kissed Sirius' cheek and followed James. "We're taking the underground to the Leaky Cauldron again."
"Why does Violet like the underground so much?" Harry complained.
His sister jumped on his back. "I'm a frog."
Sirius laughed and headed for the door, but Remus grabbed him. "Stick?" he asked. Sirius grinned. "You're not getting off that easy." Remus warned.
"Well," Sirius said innocently, "I can replace the stick with-"
Remus shook his head sternly. "The kids might hear." He kisses Sirius' cheek. "Let me know later."
Draco and Raine were affectionately intwined in the last aisle of Flourish and Blotts. Between fierce kisses and breathless gasps, Raien finally managed to ask a question.
"Are you . . . serious . . . about . . . oh . . .me?"
Draco smiled at her. "Who, me? I'm not serious about anything."
Raine looked away. "I-I meant . . ."
Draco kissed her cheek. "Yeah, I know what you meant. And yes, I'm serious about you. As in monogamy, not marriage. I'm not crazy enough to marry you." he joked.
She leaned in and lightly bit his lip. "Good. Because your daddy would kill you."
"What makes you think he didn't?" Draco teased, releasing her.
"Because you would be dead." a cold voice said from the far end of the aisle. "Draco."
"Father." Draco said tersely. "Ray, this is my father, Lucius Malfoy. Father, this is-"
"Raine Black." Lucius interrupted, taking her hand and grazing it with his lips. "I haven't seen you in years, Raine. You look more like Bella than ever."
"With all due respect, Lucius." Raine said politely. Draco cringed inwardly as she called his father by his first name. "I've been told I resemble my father."
"Yes. Well, Sirius and Bella do share an ironic resemblance." Lucius said. "If I might steal my son, Raine. And when you see your father give him mine and Narcissa's greetings."
"I shall." Raine said through gritted teeth. "Have a nice day."
Draco turned his head as his father lead him off. 'I'll write you.' he mouthed.
"Oh no, you want." Lucius said in his coined 'soft and dangerous' voice. "Sirius married outside the bloodline. That girl is the daughter of a werewolf. If she tried to produce you an heir, you'd end up with dogs."
"Your hair's messed up." Sirius observed. "Where is he? You're grounded."
"She's already grounded." Remus said, picking at his nails.
"Lucius and Narcissa send their greetings." Raine said in a mock prissy tone.
"Did you see them?" Sirius asked. "Merlin, Remus. Just Apparate home and get them. I'll met you outside the Apothecary."
Remus kissed him and DisApparated. "Cigarettes?" Raine asked.
Sirius nodded. "Did you see Lucius and Narcissist?" he asked.
"Dad, aren't you a little old for name calling?" Raine teased. "No. I only saw Lucius."
"Didn't I tell you never to talk to him alone?" Sirius demanded.
"He kind of . . . umm . . . snuck up on me." Raine said, coughing. "I need to get some food . . . for Sunny." she said, naming her owl. "I'll be back." She took off.
"Merlin." Sirius muttered, shaking his head and turning. Lucius was directly behind him. "Lucius." Sirius was with mock enthusiasm. "It's a . . . pleasure."
"As always, Sirius." Lucius said dryly. "Busy with family, I see. And filling them with such inane accusations against me? How laughable."
"I'm not laughing." Sirius said shortly.
"She looks more like Bella everyday." Lucius said, trying discreetly to push Sirius' buttons.
"Bella's a slut and Raine looks nothing like her." Sirius snarled. "Now get out of my way. I've got nothing to say to you."
Lucius raised a single eyebrow. "We may have a lot to say to each other shortly, Sirius."
"And what does that mean?"
"Well, if your daughter keeps screwing my son we may have a wedding to plan." Lucius said sardonically.
"And what does that mean?" Sirius repeated.
Lucius smiled. "I should have thought the meaning would be perfectly clear. Your daughter and my son are . . ."
Sirius glared at him. "Liar."
"Why not ask her?" Lucius said, baiting him. "I was told that in your family, the children and the parents keep no secrets. And when you do ask her, please remind her that Draco could never marry her. We are Malfoys after all."
Sirius glared at him. "And I'm not stupid enough to allow my daughter to enter into your servitude, Lucius. I know all about the Malfoy Brides."
Lucius smiled. "I never said you were. Cousin."
Sirius paced on the sidewalk, pressing a cigarette to his lips and removing it just as quickly. He sat down on the front stoop. "He's lying." he whispered to the darkness.
Remus opened the door and slipped outside. "Sirius?" He sat down beside his husband and grabbed the hand that didn't hold a cigarette. "Baby, you have to ask her."
"I'm not going to do anything Lucius tells me to do." Sirius said bitterly.
"Now I'm telling you to." Remus said softly. "You smoke too much, Sirius."
"You're one to talk." Sirius said, a strained laugh coming out of his mouth.
"Raine?" Sirius asked, opening her bedroom door. "Are you asleep yet, honey?"
"No." Raine said groggily. "What's wrong?"
"I heard something interesting today." Sirius said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. "I thought maybe you could clear up a few things. I heard a rumor that you . . . umm . . . you're dating Lucius' son. Draco."
Raine sat bolt upright in bed. "Who did you hear that from?" she asked, her voice fearful.
"Lucius."
Raine ducked her head. "Daddy, I swear I was going to tell you. I just-"
"You are dating!" Sirius snapped. "Raine, do you know what he is? What his father is? How could you be so . . ."
"Stupid?" Raine said, finishing his thought. "Please, Daddy. Like your family was so much better. And would rather have me jump from bed to bed or be going with one guy?"
"If that 'one guy' is Draco Malfoy, of course I'd rather have you bed hop." Sirius said, his temper rising. "I can't believe you would . . . Raine, I thought you were smarter than that."
"I don't care if you'd rather have me date a dancing panda at the zoo, I'm staying with Draco." Raine snapped. "The only dating rule you ever had was age. Well, Draco's too months older than me, so you're screwed."
Sirius stood up. "You listen to me, young lady. I can change the rules if I feel like and I-"
"Sirius." Remus said from the doorway. "You can't. Now come to bed before you wake Maple and Morgan up. 'Night, Ray."
Sirius stormed out of the room. Raine heaved a sigh and laid back down. Remus rolled his eyes and followed his husband into the bedroom. Unfortunately, he and Sirius didn't react the same way to anger.
Raine took the platter of toast from her dad and passed it onto Maple. "Where's your brother?" Remus asked them.
Maple bit the inside of her cheek. "I think he went across the street. He and Harry had something planned for today." Raine met her eyes for a moment. Maple looked away. She had personally locked their brother's room this morning. Raine rolled her eyes. Maple reached out and poked her.
Raine added creamer to her coffee and flipped through the comic section of the Daily Prophet. "I'm out of ink." she said, looking at Remus.
"Didn't you just buy some yesterday?" he asked. Sirius muttered something under his breath.
"Vanishing ink." Raine said.
"What did you use the last of that on?" Remus asked, glaring at his husband.
"I threw it out my window last night." Raine said honestly.
"And why did you do that?" Sirius asked, glaring at his daughter.
Raine glared back. "Because I saw you walking past my window and I was kind of hoping it worked on people."
Maple reached out and poked both of them.
"What on earth are you doing that for?" Sirius snapped irritably.
"Well, what crawled up your butt and died?" Maple asked, making a face at him. "Look, just because Ray's dating the son of a Death Eater doesn't mean 0he's0 a Death Eater. I mean, come on, Dad. Nature vs. nurture."
"Stop studying Muggle psychology." Sirius said.
"Sirius."
"Remus."
"Oh, shut up."
Lily was sitting in Sirius' living room while Remus was out running a few errands. "Sirius, calm down." she said patiently. "At least you know who she's dating. I personally think it's better than if you couldn't keep their name's straight."
"I have a good memory." Sirius said sighing. "Do you know what happens when-"
Something crashed on the floor above them. Both adults jumped up. Sirius sighed and headed up the stairs. "I thought Morgan was at your house." he said to Lily.
She shook her head. "No. I thought he was at your house. Didn't he and Harry come over here?" They both exchanged a look as Sirius tried to open Morgan's door. He sighed and pulled out his wand, unlocking it. Bracing himself, he pushed the door open.
"Crap." Two teenage boys looked up from the bed, hair messed up but clothes still fully on.
"Dad, this isn't what it looks like." Morgan said.
"Downstairs." Sirius said. "Both of you. Now."
"You can't have affairs with your friends." Lily shrieked hysterically.
"Mom, get a grip." Harry said. "It's not an affair."
"One-night stand then. Whatever." Lily said.
"It's not a one-night stand."
"What?" Sirius asked. "So what were you doing upstairs? Comparing kissing methods?"
"Dad." Morgan said softly. "We've been seeing each other for a week."
"Fine." Lily said. "Seven one-night stands."
"We haven't slept together." Morgan said. "It's not a one-night stand." Two pairs of eyes stared at him dubiously. "I mean it. This is why we didn't tell you." he said, looking down.
It was the first time Sirius saw a tear run down his son's cheek.
Harry slowly took Morgan's hand. "It's a relationship." he told his mother and Sirius. "A real one."
"As opposed to fake one?" Morgan said, his voice cracking as he tried to make a joke.
Harry kissed his cheek. "As opposed to a fake one." he whispered in his ear.
"So Ray's dating a Malfoy and Morgan's dating Harry?" Remus asked, collapsing on the couch.
"What's the longest relationship Morgan's had?" Sirius asked, sitting down and leaning his head against his husband's chest.
"Three hours?" Remus guessed. "But Morgan always gets what he wants, remember?" Sirius shrugged. "He gets it from you."
"I always get what I want?" Sirius asked.
"Yes." Remus said.
"Well, you know what I want right now?" Sirius asked, standing up.
"I can only imagine." Remus said.
"I want a shower." Sirius said. He paused at the top of the stairs and turned around. "Hey, I didn't say I wanted to take it alone."
"Yes, we're going to the Summer Festival." Remus said. "You're not that grounded."
Hey Ray,
I'll see you at the Summer Festival next week, right? Meet me behind the stage where they do the singing contests, all right? We can ditch our parents from there. My dad's not too happy about this and I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind skinning me alive. See you soon, RayRay.
Love,
Draco
Okay. Next chapter we go to the summer festival. I hope it's funnier than the last one. Within the next few chapters they should be heading off to school.
And . . . A twist. (Hehehe!) Okay, it might not a be a twist, persay, but it IS a surprise. A surprise I came up with as I was writing this Author's Note. Sorry, I'm a babbling brook today.
