I'm Still Here


(2 Months After The Defeat of Sin)

-Auron's POV-

They say there's nothing more beautiful than the Farplane. And to spend an eternity there...it's the greatest gift anyone could possibly be given...

But not for me. Beauty -true beauty- is the way she smiles, just for you. Or the way her eyes seem to twinkle when you say her name. Everything else is just second-best.

The day she came to visit the Farplane was the best day of my life (both living and unsent life, mind you). That day...It is forever etched in my mind. That day...I found out I was to become a father.

The moment I found out, I could barely contain my joy. But, at the same time, I couldn't help but feel disappointed in myself. I had brought this upon Rikku, and then left her alone to deal with it. How could I possibly be the father I wanted to be...while being dead at the same time. It was not possible.

I didn't want her to go on alone. Oh, I knew that Yuna and the others would be there for her, but our child deserved to have two parents. But yet...I had mixed emotions. I would be lying if I said it wouldn't bother me to know she was with another man. I couldn't bear it if she loved another. But I was dead, and she had every right to make sure our child had a happy and fulfilling life. And if that meant another man had to raise my son or daughter...well then, I would just have to deal with it.

Months passed since her last visit, and I grew more than curious. According to Braska, I was out of my mind for the most part.

I was sitting all by my lonesome one day when I felt the familiar tug of someone thinking of me...This is what happens when someone has called forth a memory of you. I materialized in front of a beautiful woman. She was no longer the child she had been when I first met her. A mother to be, she glowed brighter than the sun. A huge smile split her face and I could tell she was itching to bounce, had she not been extremely pregnant.

"Auron...Gods, you're more beautiful every time I see you..."

'As are you' I thought to myself, my heart melting at the sight of her.

"I came by here today because I just had to tell you!...We're having twins!"

'Twins!' It was more than I could have ever asked for. Mine and Rikku's love had created not one, but two lives...It made me feel complete somehow.

"I just..." Her face fell slightly as she struggled to find the words. "I wish you could be here with me...See your children grow up...I miss you." she finished, her voice barely above a whisper.

I longed to reach for her, just to hold her and tell her everything would be alright, but I couldn't...Damn this place.

A single tear slid across her cheek and she hastily wiped it away.

"I have to go for now. Brother's waiting to take me back to Besaid...I'll come back, I promise..."

I watched as she reluctantly turned away and exited the Farplane, and found myself alone once again in the Glen. I sat there, for how long, I couldn't tell you. You were supposed to be free of burdens here, but I was not...I would spend my eternity in turmoil, until the day she joined me and I could hold her in my arms forever...


(5 years later)

-Rikku's POV-

I kept my promise to him...I visited him several times, one being right after the twins were born so he could see just how much his two boys looked like him. I told him how I had named them after his two best friends: Braska and Jecht. Some people think that the dead can't hear you in the Farplane, but I just know that Auron can...

It's been five long years since this all began, and I feel happier than I have in a long time. I never married. Nor was I ever with another man after Auron. I just couldn't bring myself to that. I loved Auron too much in my heart to let another in.

I sat there in the sand, on the beach of Besaid, watching little Braska and Jecht attempt to build a sand castle. It's amazing how much they looked like Auron. It almost broke my heart at times to look at them, but I just told myself that he was always here with me, in the spirit of his children.

"Mommy, come help us!" little Jecht pleaded, as another one of their 'castles' crumbled. I laughed and scooted over towards them to help. We spent the rest of the afternoon building our own little town of sand houses.

As evening approached, we headed back to the village. The first stars had just began to come out and I forlornly searched the sky, as if I could find his face among the celestial bodies. The wind started to pick up, and I hurried the boys down the path, eager to get home before it got too dark.

After dinner that night, I tucked them into bed, kissing them once on each cheek: one from me, one from their father. It was something the boys looked forward to. They knew what their father looked like and they knew about his life as a guardian, and how he bravely fought for his two summoners. They were proud of him, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Lying in my own bed that night, I reached over to my night stand and flicked on the sphere of Auron from Braska's pilgrimage. It was something I did every night, letting his voice carry me into the world of dreams. Oh, how I treasured those nights I dreamed of him. I could pretend, if only for a little while, that he was still here, still alive, and would never leave me again. But all dreams ended, and I found that instead of being sad, I felt as if the hole in my heart had been filled once again, if only just for that day.

I rolled over, looking into the depths of the sphere, wishing it were real. "I love you Auron...Goodnight." I whispered, before shutting my eyes.

The wind was still blowing steadily that night, but I swear that I heard something just before drifting off to sleep...

I'm still here...


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-Lilah