Chapter Five

Immediately forgetting about their near-physical confrontation, Jack and Sawyer both rushed over to Kate, who was pulling herself weakly back into a sitting position. Jack immediately went into action, actually appearing calmer now that the situation was critical than he had when he was unsure about it.

"Okay...it's okay, Kate. That means it was probably poisonous."

"Probably?" Sawyer said sarcastically.

Ignoring him, Jack went on. "So what we need to do now is to get your leg elevated, and I'm gonna have to bind it and get as much pressure on it as I can."

She was deathly pale and shaking, but she seemed strangely detached. "What'll that do?"

"It'll slow down the circulation of the poison through your bloodstream. The slower it moves, the less serious the effects'll be. So...Why don't you lie down here on the ground and put your foot up on this log, okay?"

She didn't move.

"Kate? It's really important that we elevate your leg right now."

With no expression, she slowly lowered herself onto the ground and allowed him to position her foot.

"Is that comfortable enough?"

"It's fine," she said calmly.

"Okay...I'm gonna get some strips of cloth from the plane to bind your ankle with, okay? I'll be right back. Try not to move."

He walked quickly toward the plane. Sawyer still watched Kate. He seemed to be rooted to the ground.

"Sawyer," Jack said. He looked up, blankly. "Give me a hand. We need to do this fast."

He joined him in the interior of the plane, where Jack frantically went through luggage in the near-darkness, taking out all the clothing he could find.

"Listen to me," Jack said curtly. "We've got to keep her as still as we possibly can. The best chance she has to fight this is by not moving. If I can bind the foot pretty tightly, then the venom might circulate slowly enough so that it won't hit her all at once. It's called pressure-immobilization - it's supposed to keep the poison under control until..." He stopped.

"Until what?"

"Ideally?" He paused. "Until we get her to a hospital and she can get an anti-venom injection."

"I don't suppose you got the recipe for the homemade variety, do ya?"

"There's no way to produce it out here...We'll just have to do without it."

"Is that possible?"

Jack didn't answer. He'd found a pair of panty-hose in a carry-on bag. "This'll work." He moved toward the exit. "I need you to get a fire going while I'm doing this. It's gonna be completely dark soon."

"Jack."

He stopped.

"She have a chance?"

He looked pained. "If she's still alive after four hours...then, yeah, she'll probably pull through."

Sawyer shook his head bitterly. "That the pep talk you give all your patients?"

"Just get a fire going." He went back out to Kate.


Shannon's crying finally tapered off, but she hadn't raised her head up yet. Sniffling, she mumbled, "Hand me that bra."

Confused, not knowing what she could possibly want it for, Sayid put it into her outstretched hand, and then tried not to smile as she blew her nose in it.

Finally raising her head up, she said in surprise, "It got dark."

"Yes."

She was embarrassed. "I didn't think that would happen."

"Well..." he said, sounding perplexed. "The sun went down..."

"No," she said, laughing. "No..I mean...what happened when I saw the book. I wasn't expecting that."

"Ah," he said, understanding. "It's all right. Sometimes objects can act as triggers to the emotions. Especially if it's something you haven't seen in awhile...something you associate with a specific person."

"Has that ever happened to you?"

"It has," he said, sounding as if he didn't want to go into detail. She didn't press him.

"I meant what I said earlier. I'm glad we did this. And I actually feel better now, believe it or not."

"I'm so glad." Leaning in, he kissed her gently, then pulled back. "Now, what do you say we get out of here and find a fire?"

"Good idea." Standing up, Shannon looked uncertain. "I think we might have made a mess."

"He can deal with it. He'll probably think it was another boar."

Smiling, she allowed him to take her hand, and they walked off down the beach.


"You still feeling sick to your stomach?" Jack kneeled down beside Kate.

"Just a little. No more puking though, if that's what you mean."

He nodded. Gently taking hold of her ankle from the log where it rested, he started to pull the cuff of her jeans up. He stopped, looking torn.

"Kate. I really hate to have to ask you to do this."

She closed her eyes and said sardonically, "You want me to take my pants off."

"I need to bind your whole calf...I don't think I can roll your jeans up that far."

She smiled slightly. "I always thought it'd be more romantic than this."

"I'm really sorry," he said awkwardly.

"Hold on a sec," Sawyer stopped piling logs and came over to them, extracting a pocket knife and pulling it open. "How 'bout this instead." He carefully made a slit at the bottom of her jeans and then ripped up the side of her pant leg from her ankle to her knee. "Not that I don't want to see you take your pants off, Freckles." He winked at her. "Just don't want you to have to do it for him."

She smiled weakly. "I really liked those jeans."

"Too bad," he said lightly, trying to mask his anxiety. "Nice try, doc." He went back to building the fire.

Jack hurriedly started using the panty hose to wrap her ankle and calf tightly. He looked ridiculously embarrassed. "I didn't know he had a knife..or I would have thought of that."

She still looked amused. "I believe you." Then, closing her eyes, she said, "I feel so tired."

He looked up, concerned. "You need to try to stay awake though, if you can, Kate."

"Okay," she said, not opening her eyes.

"Kate?"

"Hm?"

"Try to keep your eyes open, okay?"

"Okay," she said with her eyes closed.

He sighed. The first flames of the fire leapt up, crackling. Jack looked over in that direction. "Sawyer!"

"Yeah?" He came back over.

"Try to keep her awake while I do this. It'll be better if she stays conscious."

"How?"

"What do you mean, how? Just ask her questions!"

He kneeled down, looking stressed out already. He stared at her, wordlessly.

"Well?" Jack said, impatient.

"How the hell am I s'posed to know what to ask?"

"You've got to be kidding me. You've actually run out of things to say?"

"Hey, it's harder than it looks!"

"Fine, then don't ask her questions, just talk to her! I need to concentrate on this."

Sighing, Sawyer turned back to Kate.

"Hey, Kate. Kate!" He snapped his fingers. "Look at me, girl! I got something important to tell you."

Her eyes opened heavily, then closed again.

"You're never gonna believe what I just found out. Turns out Jack here? Used to be a woman." Her eyelids fluttered open again, and she looked confused and disoriented. "I know...I had my suspicions too..."

"Sawyer!"

"What! he said savagely. "Got her attention, didn't it?"

Jack shook his head, pissed off. "Only you. Only you could use this as an opportunity to make stupid jokes. She could die!"

"Whyn't you say that a little louder in front of her, there, Patch Adams! I don't think she quite heard you!" Now Sawyer was equally pissed off.

"Stop it," Kate muttered quietly, still without opening her eyes. They both turned to her, regretful. She rolled her head over to the side, and now seemed to be completely asleep. Jack finished binding her leg, tying the top off neatly. "Kate? Kate? Damn it."

"Want me to slap her?"

Jack considered. "No." He sighed. "Just let her sleep. I'll keep monitoring her breathing."

"I thought you said she should stay awake."

Jack didn't answer.

"Do you have any idea what the hell you're doin?"

"No! Okay? There isn't anything I can do, except try to revive her if she stops breathing. Whether she stays awake or goes to sleep...at this point, it probably doesn't make that much difference! There's nothing I can do. Is that what you want to hear, Sawyer!"

They stared at each other silently. Even though he'd basically already known this, they most certainly weren't words he wanted to hear. Swearing and kicking a log at the edge of the fire, he walked off brooding into the darkened woods. Jack turned his attention back to Kate, watching her every breath with all the muscles in his body tensed.


A stream of people made their way past Claire's tent, casting glances at her that ranged from sympathetic to furious. Anybody who slept anywhere near her was being forced to relocate, the howling baby ensuring that sleep would be impossible otherwise.

"I'm sorry," she kept repeating to random survivors. "I'm really sorry."

"Why do you keep apologizing to them, Claire?" Charlie asked, annoyed. "It's not like it's your fault or anything."

"I know...but still... Babies are annoying! Especially when they're not yours."

He looked at the fire, the sound of the crying clearly getting to him.

"Charlie...You don't have to stay, you know." She looked as if she felt bad. "You've done so much already...I'll understand. You should go and get some sleep."

He smiled. "I'm not tired."

"Are you sure?"

"You can't get rid of me that easily."

Claire looked grateful, nodding slightly. She looked up at the annoyed man walking past. "I'm really sorry, Scott!"

"I think that was Steve," Charlie whispered.

"I thought Steve died?"

"I thought Scott died."

They looked confused for a moment. Claire looked up again. "I'm really sorry, you guys!"

It was Sayid and Shannon.

"Sorry for what?" Shannon asked.

""Aren't you trying to get away from the sound?" She gestured toward the crying baby.

"We were just out for a walk," Sayid said. "No need to apologize."

"What's wrong with him?" Shannon looked worried, her face still softened from her crying spell.

"He had a little rash earlier...Sun applied an ointment, but it made him a little fussy. I don't know how long he'll keep it up."

Shannon seemed cold. "You mind if we sit down?" She looked at the fire.

"Oh! Of course!" Claire said, surprised and delighted that anyone, other than Charlie, would voluntarily come near her at the moment.

"It looks like you might be in for a rough night," Sayid said sympathetically as they sat down.

Shannon seemed to want to say something. "I don't think I ever told you congratulations...about the baby."

Claire seemed touched. "I think you had other things on your mind." She looked down awkwardly. "I'm so sorry about your brother." Shannon looked pained, but appreciative.

Suddenly, the baby's breath hitched and he almost immediately began to cry more softly. Claire bounced him slightly and whispered, "Shhhhhhh..." Looking more closely at Shannon, she asked curiously. "What is that?"

Shannon looked down at her hand where she held the book.

"It was my brother's. It was his favorite book," she said softly. "Watership Down."

Claire smiled sadly. "I used to like that one too." They were all quiet for a few seconds, with the exception of the baby. "That's one of the things...one of the many, things obviously, that makes me worried about this little guy, being on this island. You're supposed to read to them, right from the beginning. He won't have any books here."

Shannon stared at the fire, her eyes registering deep pain, anger, guilt, and remorse...but also something softer, more hopeful. She looked down at the book, and seemed to be struggling with something. Sayid watched her closely, not wanting her to experience any more heartbreak tonight but unwilling to interfere. Finally, she looked up at Claire, and said, almost in a whisper, "Do you want me to read to him?"

Claire, realizing almost instinctively what the book meant to Shannon, smiled gently. "I'd like that."

Tentatively, she opened the book, relieved that the pain wasn't as fresh this time. She turned to the first page, taking a deep breath and looking at Sayid, who watched her intently and lovingly. She started to read.

The three of them sat there, watching her, listening to her, spellbound. Nobody noticed that the baby had stopped crying, and that he now slept peacefully in Claire's lap as the words drifted over him.


Jack and Sawyer sat at right angles to the fire, with Kate lying between them, her foot still propped up on the log. Her breathing was occasionally jagged, but it hadn't stopped. They both watched her closely, the firelight illuminating their haggard, worried faces. Sawyer had retrieved the miniature bottle of whiskey from the plane.

"If I hadn't said anything," Jack muttered.

"What?"

"If I hadn't made her drop the gun. This wouldn't have happened."

Sawyer rolled his eyes and took a sip from the bottle. "You got one hell of an ego, don't you, brother? The snake bein' there..was that your fault too? How 'bout the plane crash...you want to take the blame for that one?"

"I never should have invited her out here in the first place."

"Christ." He took another sip. "Okay, maybe you're right. Hell, you want to believe you caused all this, who am I to argue?" They sat without speaking for a minute. Sawyer seemed to be considering.

"Heads up." Jack looked up in time to catch the liquor bottle. He looked at it for a minute gravely, then sighed and uncapped it, drinking and making a face.

"God, that's terrible."

Sawyer smiled. After a few seconds, he asked, "Any idea what time it might be?"

Jack shook his head, grimacing as he took another sip. "Why?"

"Just wonderin' if it's been four hours."

"I don't think so."

Silence. For awhile there was nothing but the crackling of the fire and the chirping of insects.

"Sawyer?" Her voice startled both of them enormously...she hadn't spoken or opened her eyes in hours. They looked at each other, surprised. "Sawyer!"

Getting up and going to kneel down next to her, Sawyer looked at her anxiously. Jack stood beside them, watching closely, concerned. She was looking around, disoriented and distressed. "Sawyer..."

"I'm here..I'm right here...Can you see me?"

She focused in on him and laid her head back down, seemingly relieved.

"How you feelin'?"

She looked at him searchingly, as if she was trying to figure something out. She spoke weakly, her voice almost inaudible. "You didn't kill it." She closed her eyes slowly, then opened them back up, watching him.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"The boar. You didn't shoot it."

With dawning realization, Sawyer began to look more disturbed.

"What's she talking about?" Jack asked quietly.

Sawyer looked at him, but didn't answer. His face was haunted. He looked back down at her, unsure what to say.

"Why not? Why didn't you kill it?" She looked as if the answer were the most important thing in the world to her.

Sawyer swallowed. "Kate..."

"Tell me." Her eyes were piercing, even though she was having a hard time holding them open.

"I will. I'll tell you the whole goddamn story, just as soon as you get to feelin' better. Everything you want to know."

"Promise?"

Looking positively tortured now, with glittering eyes and a ragged voice, he replied. "Promise."

"Okay." Her eyes closed again, and she appeared to be drifting off. As he started to move quietly away, however, she grabbed his hand. Making an effort to open her eyes, she looked at him again and tried to smile. "I'm glad you didn't kill it."

Unable to speak, he squeezed her hand in answer. She closed her eyes again, and this time her head rolled over slightly, her hand going limp. She was all the way asleep.

Sawyer stood up, looking shaky and upset.

"What the hell was that about?" Jack asked.

"Nothing."

"Sawyer..."

"I said nothing!" He spun around, angry. "She's hallucinating."

Jack looked as if he didn't believe him.

Trying to get his emotions in check, Sawyer wandered over to the plane. "I'm gonna look for some more bottles."

"In the dark?"

Ignoring him, he climbed in.

Jack sat back down, sighing. Noticing that Kate appeared to be cold, he covered her with one of the extra shirts he'd brought in his backpack.

"I'm sorry." Her voice startled him yet again. She seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness with no transitions whatsoever.

"What?" He moved over nearer to her face. "What are you sorry for?"

"This was supposed to be your vacation. You wanted to get away."

He laughed quietly. "That's okay. You play a round of golf with me in a few days and we'll call it even."

She smiled and closed her eyes. "I can't golf." They looked at each other for a few seconds without speaking.

"Am I gonna die, Jack?"

He looked away. "Kate..."

"Just tell me the truth."

"There obviously wasn't a lot of venom injected...because otherwise..."

"I'd already be dead?"

"I think you're gonna be fine. You're awake...you're talking, and you're making sense. That's a good sign...a really good sign." He smiled at her.

Almost as if to prove him wrong, the next words she spoke floored him.

"Where's my ring?"

"I'm sorry?" He thought he must have misunderstood her.

"My wedding ring." She looked at her bare hand. "What did you do with it?"

"Kate..." he spoke carefully, tentatively. "You weren't wearing a ring when we came out here."

"You're not wearing yours either," she said with tears in her eyes.

Stunned and unnnerved, he didn't know what to say. Then, with a sickening feeling, it dawned on him that she was confusing him with someone else. He remembered the conversation they'd had after he'd given her what she wanted out of the marshal's case.

"What are you talking about, Kate? Do you know where you're at?"

"I'm so sorry." A tear slid down her face. "I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry..." And then she was out again, like a light switch being turned off.

"Kate?" He remained sitting there for a minute, unable to move.

He heard Sawyer approaching behind him, but he didn't turn around.

"Ever mixed whiskey and vodka?" He stopped. "What happened?"

For a second he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He looked defeated. "You were right. She's hallucinating."

"What else did she say?" he said, still looking spent.

Jack shook his head, still lost in thought.

"You gonna tell me, or not?" Sawyer asked, fed up.

"Wedding rings. She thought I took her wedding ring." He refused to tell Sawyer the entire thing. "I don't know how much she was imagining. I don't know if she's ever been married."

"You don't? I do." Sawyer said slyly, looking like he felt better already.

"And how would you know that?" Jack said suspiciously.

"Because," he said, sitting down and opening up the bottle of vodka he'd found. "She told me."

"You care to share that information?"

"Well, now...I don't think it's really my information to share, is it? Maybe you oughtta ask her yourself." He smiled almost maliciously.

Jack shook his head. "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

Sawyer took a sip from the bottle. Quietly, he said, "It just burns you up, don't it?"

"What's that?"

He looked directly at Jack, his eyes glittering in the firelight. "That I know more about her than you do."

Furious, but unwilling to let Sawyer have an effect, Jack stood up slowly. Trying to keep his voice even, he said, "Watch her breathing. I'll be back in a minute."

He walked beyond the light of the fire, and Sawyer, smiling vindictively, took another long drink.