2 months LATER!
I could have changed everything. I could have stopped this affair and maybe just maybe saved someone from a broken heart. Look at my dad he is broken up, he spends his time sitting at his house watching TV and moping around. He sucks at being a parent and now look at him. I see now looking back there were so many signs. Maybe if I was a little more caring, a little more interested, I could have seen the truth. I see my mom and can't stand her anymore. I see my brother, broken and young, he will never be the same. I see myself, hollow and alone, building walls. I see my dad, alone again alone. I should have seen it. I would have if I didn't care so much about myself.
I should have known from the beginning. He was giving me all the signs. I mean what more could he do? I am so oblivious. I almost had him. But, I guess its my fault.
1 week earlier
I sat in my room doing my homework. Then the phone rang.
"Hello?" I tried to not sound annoyed as they broke my train of thought. AHHHHH! WRATH OF LIZZIE. Sorry, I got really mad.
"Liz?" A deep voice asked. I tried my best not to sigh. This was sooo not a good time nick.
"Yeah?" I tried expressing that I didn't want to talk with my voice. He definitely didn't get it. MEN!
"We need to talk." I rolled my eyes and just stared at the all.
"Okay." I sighed into the phone.
"Look I think we need to b-break up." His voice trembling. He is always the guy to be afraid to hurt someone else's feelings. Total turn on, or turn off, if you look at it.
"What?" My eyes growing wide with tears. Its not like I cared, it's the fact that he broke up with me.
"I'm sorry, I can't do this right now. Bye." He made it so final, and I could tell he didn't want to. I felt so bad. It must have been something I did.
"Bu-" I heard that click and knew it was over.
"Lizzieee. We need to talk." My mom practically shrieked up to me. Great just what I need her screaming and talking. This day is turning into the best. Not….
"COMING." I screamed perfectly replicating her tone of voice. I walked down the stairs slowly. I didn't know what was coming, but I figured it couldn't be good. I saw matt, Mitch, and her sitting there staring intently at me. What am I some art exhibit? STOP STARING. I self consciously sat down on the nearest chair, and they just stared. STARED.
"So." I coughed uncomfortably as they just stared. My mom opened her mouth and closed it. Mitch took this as a sign for him to do the talking. He does have a way with words sometimes…
"We are well, uh we um." Yeah, just spit it out. You aren't doing much by just sitting there trying to get it out. I've got homework to do.
"Just spit it out. I have homework to do." Okay so that came off harshly, but seriously my attention span is like nothing.
"We are moving, to New York." I think my mouth dropped to the floor. So homework is totally not my first priority anymore. SHIT!
"No we aren't" My eyes started tearing up and I ran up to my room and locked the door. I am lucky I have a bathroom attached to my room because next thing I know I was throwing up a bundle.
Present
I stayed home that whole week. I kept throwing up and never came out of my room. I know Gordo was worried he called all week, but I couldn't. I couldn't talk, I was miserable. I am looking out the window and a thunder storm is brewing. Someone is doing something to my door. Why is it coming of its hinges.
"What are you doing to my door." I sat on a chair screaming at my mom. She looked surprised at my face. I looked like hell. My eyes were swollen, I had lost weight, I was pale. Lets just leave it at that.
"Liz." I ran out just as the rain started coming down and the first clap of thunder sounded. I just ran. I ran wherever I was going. I ended up at Gordo's house, go figure. I rang his doorbell and he answered.
"Lizzie, Oh god, Lizzie." He saw me and gave me a hug. It was the most comforting thing in the world, so why did it feel so, so, wrong?
"Gordo, I'm moving. I just came to tell you." I kept strong not a tear fell out of my eyes. The rain was enough.
"You…no you can't move." He hugged me tighter.
"I have to go." I moved back but her tugged on my arm.
"No, I won't let you." I took his hand off my arm.
"Please Gordo, I came to tell you. I really need to go home." He grabbed onto my arm again and kissed me this time. Not to get me in his bed, I could feel how much he wanted me with him. I freaked to say the least.
"No Gordo, first Nick breaks up with me, and then my mom tells me I'm moving. This is hell so just leave me alone. I just want to be alone." I started out yelling but by my last word it was a whisper. I saw the pain across his face, but right now, I just couldn't cope.
"Fine, you wanna be alone? Be alone." He closed the door and I just walked down on the curb and sat. I cried in the rain. The thunder was loud, and for once in my life I didn't care. I was alone. I sat there for 3 minutes when I heard the door open.
"Lizzie." He ran towards me fast as lightening. He picked me up off the ground and stood up.
"I swear I won't lose you Liz. I love you, and I can't lose you. I am nothing without you. You know I am. I don't care about anyone else. I want you. All of you." I kissed him hard on the lips. Right there in the rain. I didn't care that it was thundering. I knew I had him. I knew he loved me and I loved him. We somehow ended up on his bed and for the first time we truly made love. This time we made it for real.
"We've got to get better," I said, "It's all in your head."
We could live through these letters or forget it all together
See the months they don't matter it's the days I can't take
When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away
Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt
And there's one thing I can do nothing aboutIf chasing our dreams is just a distraction
I want to remember when I know that I can't go back
Just ask the question come untie the knot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Retrace the steps as if we forgot
Say you won't care, say you won't care
Try to avoid it (try to avoid it) but there's not a doubt
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing
There's one thing I can do nothing about.
New American Classic-TBS (I know I took some lyrics out. Sorry)
"Gordo?" I whispered into his ear.
"Yeah?" He kissed my forehead.
"Say you won't care." He looked at me thinking.
