Title: A Government Man

Author: Perseid 85

Spoilers: 'Bartlet for America'

Summary: A Leo story; 'Bartlet for America' post-ep (back before West Wing jumped the shark)

Legal stuff: Blah, blah, blah, not mine.

The best time of year to be on trial was before Christmas. There are more settlements and 'not guiltiest' around Christmas than any other time of year. But maybe they didn't know that. Then again, maybe this was because people wanted to get home to buy gifts and roast chestnuts on an open fire with their families. It wouldn't have mattered anyway. Government men don't have families and happy holidays. At least not this government man.

She was pretty sitting at the table opposite him, but not beautiful. She wore another Armani suit that was too strong in color. She was a woman of grays and browns and blacks with the occasional blue. Dark blue. Her hair matched her eyes matched her suit, but he was still wearing another gray suit, not double breasted.

The restaurant was overly expensive. The kind government men ate at with their lawyers when they went out socially. The kind where a drink was so expensive that he wouldn't anyway. He was keenly aware of the fact that she did not order wine. But he could have done with some bourbon right about now. That being beside the point. The food was good, but the government man didn't really taste it in his mouth. His companion made some happy remarks, and they engaged in the small talk that is expected when a government man asks his lawyer out to dinner. It isn't too soon.

He could drive if he waned or even walk, but he insists that she take a cab, and he shows her home. They don't talk much in the car, and the silence is uncomfortable enough that even the driver notices. She gets out, and he doesn't walk her to the door. Not out of disrespect, but because he knows his place, and it isn't here with her.

He asks her how she is on Monday and then again on Tuesday, this time with feeling. Maybe if he asks once more she'll go out with him to another over priced restaurant after the hearing. If he has the time. It occurs to him that this isn't the way normal people spend the holidays and subsequent new years. He didn't make a resolution. Government men can't have regrets. Not that they don't.

Government men don't need healing time. Or so he likes to think. He is not sure if he appreciates the gift or the memories that it prizes. He is sure that he appreciates the experience. He is miles older and several years more knowledgeable. Incidentally, this whole hearing was never supposed to be about him. It is ironic in the true sense of the word. They went out for dinner another night, but it couldn't compare with the Chinese food snuck in during recess and hearing her laugh, which surprised him more than anything. He face didn't break. His wouldn't either, and he remembers that he knows how to smile, and not just in an arrogant or sarcastic way. Really smile for the love of it.

He is incredible, naturally, humanly flawed and to some extent he accepts that but not overly much and not as an excuse. Genetics are never the answer. They are never an excuse.

He has played enough computer games of solitaire one card draw, standard scoring to be bleary eyes. But not enough to have the answers. It is one twenty eight in the morning, and he has played too many games of solitaire and not figured out a thing. A Government man never leaves his job. At least not in his mind.

One day in a million days or a google of days this will all come to pass. In a different world, in a different time he could be the man that he never was here. There are so many if's the he is sick of it. He takes what he gets and can't imagine asking for more. They're running again, and there will be a new campaign to run, this time, harder than before. The government man is up to the challenge. A hundred times removed from a pen scrawl on a napkin, the day begins anew.