Chapter Five
"You know this is not going to be easy, right Woodrow?" Nigel asked, somewhat earnestly of the detective. At Woody's request, he had stopped by the next day during his lunch hour from the morgue.
"I realize that. But I'm playing for keeps this time, Nige and she is, too. I've got to make her realize that falling in love with me is safe…I won't hurt her."
"Yeah…but what you're planning….it may backfire on you at some point. And Jordan won't take kindly to being tricked…"
Woody sighed. "I realize that…but you have to remember, she doesn't know that I heard what she said…she wants the ring and she loves me. And I love her. Now that we've come this far, I don't want her to have any room to try to wiggle out of her feelings because she gets cold feet. Four years is a long time…I don't want to waste anymore of it just being 'friends' with Jordan. I'm beginning to feel like Ross and Rachel from that sitcom."
Nigel nodded and grinned. "Okay. I'll help. Just tell me what I need to do first."
"Oh, you're awake…" Jordan said, entering Woody's hospital room, stopping just inside the door. The nurses hadn't called her and let her know like she had asked them to do…otherwise she wouldn't have come. She didn't want him upset. Especially with her.
"Yeah. I had to wake up sometime," he countered in a cold voice. She caught the tone.
"Ah. Well. I just…just dropped by to see how you were doing….since you're conscious again, how…how are you feeling?"
"As well as can be expected with a bullet hole in your side."
"It will heal…but you're going to have to be patient and give it time."
"You of all people should know I'm a patient man."
Jordan swallowed hard. Suddenly the room was getting more uncomfortable by the minute. Then he spoke again. "I want you to know that I've been doing some serious thinking."
She felt a chill run down her spine. "Really…what about?"
"Myself, mainly. Nothing like a near-death experience to make you do that."
She nodded. She knew all too well….her mind flashing back to her bout of sleeping pills and Scotch during her residency as a heart surgeon. Something else about her he didn't know.
"I've been doing some re-evaluating…shifting my priorities, so to speak. I'm going to be off from work for a while…paid leave while I'm recovering…but I'm not sure I'll go back to police work."
Jordan had to sit down before she fell down. Not return to the Boston PD? "But…but Woody…being a cop is more than what you do….it's what you are…" she stammered.
"Well, maybe it's time to change that."
"Oh."
"And I'm thinking about returning to Wisconsin."
Wi…Wi… Wisconsin? Why?" There was nothing left for him there…no family. And he had never spoken about any lingering friends there. Cal didn't even live in Wisconsin anymore.
"In the back of my mind, it's always been home. And there's nothing left for me in Boston any longer…"
Ouch. Jordan felt her insides pucker in pain. If he went back there, he'd never know how she felt…and she may never get him back to Boston once he had landed in Cheesehead land again. Thinking quickly, she said, "Just…give yourself time, Woody. Think it through. Once some of these decisions are made, you won't be able to change them again."
"I know. But that's what I feel I need right now…change. Something different. Somewhere different. Somebody different. I'm taking an eight week sabbatical from police work to recover and think things through. Then I think I'm either going to start calling the police departments in Wisconsin or maybe put a call into Sunny D."
If she didn't leave now, she was going to break down in front of him for sure. Wisconsin was bad. California was even worse… further away and beautiful women in bikinis. Rapidly, she blinked back the tears from her eyes. Glancing at her watch, she said, "Would you look at the time? I…I…need to go. I'm pulling doubles this week…covering for Sydney…he's on vacation." She stood and closed the small space between herself and the bed, reaching out to take Woody's hand.
He pulled it away. He doesn't even want me touching him now in any way, she thought sadly, turning to go.
"Jordan?" His voice made her turn around one more time.
"Yes?"
"While I'm on sabbatical…I don't want to see or hear from anyone from work or the morgue. These are big decisions I'm making…and I don't need to be influenced in anyway. These have to be my own answers to all the questions I'm asking."
"But….but….what about your injuries? Won't you need someone to help you?"
"I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself. I don't need anyone. And I really don't need you trying to play Florence Nightingale out of guilt, either."
She swallowed hard and turned to go again. "Sure…no problem here. You won't hear a word from me….just ….just let me know what you decide?" She turned again to face him briefly.
He nodded.
She left then, closing the door behind her. It was truly over between them. Whatever small, flickering hope she had of him regaining consciousness and them having a heart-to-heart talk was dashed on the hard rocks of reality.
It had nearly killed him to see the hurt in her eyes after he had abruptly dismissed her. But it was part of his plan….his carefully crafted plan to get Jordan to realize that she had to not only step up to the plate about this relationship, she had to remain front and center. He was tired of playing around.
He had only told her part of the truth….he was taking an eight-week leave of absence from the police department. He had to. It was going to take him that long to heal. But he wasn't going to be by himself. Nigel had agreed to help him while he recovered, as well as keep an eye on Jordan for him.
And he wasn't leaving Boston. Nothing in heaven or hell could make him leave Massachusetts now that she had whispered to him that she loved him. Nothing.
However, he was re-evaluating his career as a policeman. After he realized that the life he had longed for with Jordan Marie Cavanaugh was almost at his fingertips, he had wondered what would really happen to her if he got seriously injured on the job…what would happen if he got killed? What would take place if children were somewhere in that equation? He wasn't sure his career was worth all the worry.
He wanted her to know that he would always be there for her…but first, she had to face how strong her own feelings were for him. And thinking she may lose him forever would hopefully push those feelings to the front and make her face them….tell him this time exactly how she felt…while she knew he was awake, conscious…and deeply in love with her.
