The Tears We Cry
By: Datenma
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The story and characters belong to the wonderful J.K.Rowling. Bow down before her mighty...mightyness!
Warning: Slash—male/male. Spoilers if you haven't read the fifth book.
Sirius' POV for this chapter.
Read and Review please!
Prologue"Is this what you wanted!" His voice cuts through me like the edge of a sharp blade, or one of the Unforgivable Curses. I can see why he's mad but still, to accuse me of wanting something like that.
No, it wasn't what I wanted, far from it. Like I would want that horrible excuse for a woman to have any satisfaction in beating me at—anything for that matter.
"Do you have any idea what has happened since you've been gone?" His voice drops to a seething whisper.
No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me, Remus. You seem so good at that. I say nothing, just sit there on his worn, tattered couch with him pacing the floor in front of me. I can hear the tears that he is struggling against in his voice. He has always been a strong person and I have both prided and envied that in him.
He pauses for a moment and I don't know whether he wants me to look at him or if he is just struggling not to hit me. Remus rarely hits anyone without them physically lashing out first, but then again, Remus rarely loses his temper like this. I really hurt him this time.
He lets out a sigh, all the anger leaving his face with the motion as he sits down on the couch next to me, distancing himself but still sitting close enough for me to reach out and touch him. I wasn't going to do that, I knew he wouldn't want me to touch him. "A lot has happened, Sirius." He turns his tired gray eyes to me. "Have you gone to see Harry yet?" There is a slight hitch in his voice when he says Harry's name and his eyes soften.
"Not yet, as soon as I came back, I wound up here." I look at him for a long moment before reaching a hand out to him instinctively. He shies away and I pull my hand back, letting it lay limply on the couch at my side. "What happened?"
He takes a deep breath and holds my eyes with his for a long moment, before…
"Harry's…gone." My hearts must have stopped for a minute, if not longer. Harry gone? What could he mean by that…I only…
"What? But what about Voldemort?" I get to my feet, hands balled into fists as I gaze down at Remus, the vision of calm as always. But what was I going to do? I had just gotten back, someone winding up on Remus' doorstep and here I am jumping up like that…was I going to go run out, find Voldemort and fight him to protect my pride? I would just end up getting killed and letting everyone down again. Letting Remus down again. It is a wonder he didn't turn me away after all that I have put him through. I don't want to let him down again, but most of all, I don't want to end up hurting him even more than I already have. But that seems to be all that I am capable of. Hurting the person I love most.
His next words stop me successfully.
"He's gone. Harry defeated him with his last breath. We buried him near James and Lily's graves. I can't say it would have made them happy to have me bury their son…but still…" I sink onto the couch next to him, burying my face into my hands. After what seems like forever, I feel his gentle fingertips dance along my hair lightly, almost fearfully. I welcome the contact but don't get too used to it, incase he pulls away.
"It wasn't supposed to be this way. Harry wasn't supposed to die…" I lower my hands and turn my eyes on him.
"Tell me everything."
TBC
