On Death : The Funeral
By Lena Claire
"Bow once… twice…third time. Get up."
Goku numbly followed all these instructions. His sharp demon senses were stabbed with the smell of methane and incense smoke.
"Ow! Goku! Watch were you point that thing!"
"Oh, sorry…" Goku quickly moved the incense stick he was holding away from Gojyo.
Gojyo watched Goku for a moment and reached over and ruffled his hair before walking away to carry on with the ceremony.
Goku absentmindedly fingered the joss stick as he had done numerous times, gazed upon Sanzo through the clear top of the coffin.
"Hakkai, he's still not taking it too well…"
"Yes, I know."
"I mean, god damn it! He hasn't looked me in the eye since… That monk just had to die didn't he!"
"All in all, he was still only human Gojyo, you can't forget that." Hakkai said as he placed a hand on the shoulder of an obviously frustrated Gojyo.
"We're all feeling upset now Gojyo, but you can't lose it. For the sake of Goku, we have to keep it together. Do you understand?" Hakkai reasoned gently as he tightened the hand on Gojyo's shoulder as assurance.
"Yea…okay." Gojyo looked for a moment like he wanted to say something else, but turned against it at the last moment, shook his head, and walked away.
Hakkai watched Gojyo's back for a moment; he knew what Gojyo was thinking. As slight as it was, Gojyo was slowly but undoubtedly ageing. It still would be a few more good long years before this conversation would come to pass though, no one wanted to bring it up, not when the pain of loss was still evident.
Hakkai let out a gentle sigh before turning back to analyze what was currently happening in the funeral. There were plenty of people there. Monks of all ranks gathered to pay their respects. Goku, Gojyo and himself were side by side with the highest-ranking monks as a last order Sanzo had made to the monks. It was obvious the monks were not too happy with it, but Sanzo was a Sanzo after all. Even in death, no one could defy him.
Hakkai noted distantly the queue that was snaking a long line from the entrance of the temple consisting of villagers who also wanted to pay their last respects to the Sanzo whom they greatly admired, but never came to know.
Hakkai suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder.
"The next stage of the ceremony is starting. The chant of the death scriptures will begin shortly. Sanzo had requested his friends be part of it."
"Thank you. I'll go get the others now." Hakkai replied and gave a faint smile, as he was accustomed to.
He stood and looked around for the whereabouts of his teammates. He spotted a flash of red, and just at that instant, the head turned around and made eye contact. Hakkai tilted his head, indicating to Gojyo to go to the ceremonial chambers. Gojyo nodded and turned to get Goku.
"Hey monkey," Gojyo said as he stooped to be at face level with Goku. "Its time for the next one."
Goku gave a brief nod, and followed Gojyo to the chamber.
The monks in their yellow robes lined the sides of the chamber. The highest ranking ones seated on chairs, closest to the coffin. Hakkai, Gojyo and Goku were made to sit cross-legged on the floor right at the front, and the other lower ranked monks sat behind them.
They sat there; listening by the continuous low chanting in a language they didn't understand. Gojyo was slightly fidgeting as the chanting crossed the forty-five minute mark. Hakkai still had his back straight and face grim with respect, occasionally shifting to prevent his legs from becoming numb. Goku was slouched, unmoving and expressionless.
The chanting came to a close, much to Gojyo's relief. Everyone else had stood up and left, but Goku was still sitting on the ground with his head bowed.
"It's time to go now, Goku…" Hakkai said as he saw Gojyo waiting for them at the doorway.
"Hm." Goku replied as he slowly got to his feet. His eyes briefly flickered at the coffin as he turned to go.
The coffin lay there for a day further, before it was brought to a crematorium to be burnt according to Sanzo's wishes.
Looking though the glass, Goku silently watched the coffin bearing his Sun being pushed into the furnace. The only action that betrayed how much Goku wanted to dash in and grab Sanzo away from the fire was the gentle pawing at the glass. At that moment, he seemed very much like someone lost, someone without a direction and meaning in life anymore.
As the coffin slid completely into the furnace, Hakkai and Gojyo gently guided Goku back to the jeep. Goku looked up as they were driving off, the almost majestic way the smoke was bellowing out of the chimney. Parts of Sanzo forever lost in the wind.
Hakkai and Gojyo dropped Goku off at the temple. There, the monks finally found no more reason to treat him nicely. Goku didn't notice though, he didn't care. He plodded straight into his room and started packing up belongings he needed and that were precious to him.
Once Sanzo's gun was polished and tucked safely at Goku's side, he stood up to leave. Glancing around Sanzo's room a final time, taking in everything and embedding it into his mind, he turned and left.
Now Goku was starting on his own journey. A journey some may term it self-discovery. To Goku though, it was to find what it was about this world that compelled Sanzo to save it. To find what made him, the child of the earth. To find…
…a life worth living without Sanzo.
With this, "On Death" has come to an end. I'm sorry it took quite awhile to get out, but as I said, this fic isn't easy for me to write. To all the concerned, I have started to move on as life doesn't wait, but I don't think the pain in my heart will go away for a long time. The support that my reviewers have given me really earned my gratitude, and i'd like to say an individual thanks to all of my reviewers.
To:
MasQu3raiN: Thank you for letting me know that my writing style can get emotions across. Not that i'm happy you were crying, just the level of emotion I could get out of my reader really makes me glad. Don't worry about rushing me, I did need a little prodding to start.
Destiny852: Thank you. Goku will move on, but he won't ever forget Sanzo.
gabrielle angelique: Interesting usage of "yay" and "sad" in the same sentence, but my gratitude extends far to your support.
Double L.: I completed the story as you wished, hope you stuck around to find out what happened.
corntey K: That has been answered in this final segment of the story. Thank you for the encouragement.
Jurie-chan: Yes, Goku is feeling completely and utterly sad, but he will find there are lots of other things in life that he still has to live for.
yaminokaito: I took your advise about the italizing thing. I did put a little segment of Hakkai and Gojyo into the story, hope you like it.
Makoto Kanjou: Wow. Thank you for letting have the honour of being the first fan fiction you have ever read. Yes, he did die, as mortals all do. Thank you for being symphatatic.
ReiNagata: Death is a numbing feeling, denial won't help though. Sanzo is mortal (at least in where Kazuya stopped anyway) he had to die eventually.
YukitoK: Thank you for your support. I'm glad that there was people actually reviewing, no matter how few.
Sliv3r MagiciaN: Oh dear, please, don't cry. hands a tissue
Akito-kun: Thank you, and now the wait has ended.
sRose: Wow. Your review simply amazed me. I am so touched by how much emotion you felt and Icould never fully explain how much your review, each and every review means to me. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Black-eyed Youkai: Thank you. Yes, no Sanzo anymore.
Naruka: Thank you for your support and kind offer to lend a listening ear (or rather, reading eye). I wouldn't want to trouble you though, I feel, this is something I need to figure out on my own. But thank you so much.
Paxton V. French: This is the last installment, I hope it would satisfy you enough.
and that about wraps it. As I said once before, Thank you all.
