Yeah, 50 reviews on the 5th of april. This day is my privat holiday from now on. ;-) Thank you all so much.
gc rox: itwas supposed to be funny. Funny for us, dramatic for Jon and Alanna lol
And now the story goes on again...
Chapter 11: 'The dark corridor of pain', or 'Jon's thoughts'
Meanwhile...
Jonathan watched Alanna leaving the ballroom with big, quick strides. He regretted what he had said to her. How could he have said such silly things? Surely she thinks I'm an idiot now, he thought, and she is right with that. I am one. These damned words were just coming out of my mouth and I didn't even want them to. The whole evening was bad enough, so why do I have to make it even worse?
He looked around and saw all those knights laughing and flirting with the court ladies. They were all enjoying themselves. He frowned at them. Why can't it be like that with Alanna and me?, he asked himself. She just doesn't love me. And that's just it. He wanted to make her love him, but he always did the wrong. Tonight he had tried to make her jealous, but he had become jealous of some court lady, talking with her, and he had made everything worse. Now Alanna was angry and she was right with that too.
What do I do now? Just leave it like that? Get over the fact that I can't have her? Ignore my feelings for her? No, I've tried it over and over. It just doesn't work. When he had first discovered how much he cared about his red-haired, stubborn squire and how his heart began to beat when she laughed, he had tried to push these feelings away. He had thought that they were dangerous and unacceptable. He had been afraid of those feelings because they were new and different from the feelings he had had for Lady Delia. He had thought it was dangerous for a going-to-be-king to have feelings like that for any girl, and even more dangerous to have those feelings for a girl who pretended to be a boy. He knew he would have to marry a lady who would bring him power and gold. And Alanna was one of the most impossible choices, he knew that too.
But he had soon realized that he couldn't ignore his feelings. And now that he admitted hism love, he was pushed away. Pushed away by the one he loved. And it seemed as if nothing could change that. But...What has she said? 'I don't want to end up like my father' Maybe it's because she's afraid of being hurt and maybe it's not because she doesn't love me... That thought was always in his mind. When he woke up until when he went to bed. Everyday. It was his one and only hope, the bright spot at the end of this long and dark corridor of pain.
"Why are you looking so sad, your highness?", a melodious voice asked.
Jonathan turned around and saw Lady Delia. Oh, no, he thought. There was nothing more that he wanted than tell her to go, but he knew he couldn't. It would cause gossip and new trouble with Duke Gareth.
"It's nothing, Lady Delia.", he answered.
Lady Delia made a sweet smile and fluttered her eyelashes. "I'm tired, your highness, would you be so kind to guide me to my chambers?"
That's enough now!, Jon thought, Should they think what they want. "I think you know where your chambers are, don't you? Anyway, I'm sure there are lots of other men who would do anything to guide you instead of me. Why don't you ask one of them?", he said, trying hard to keep his voice low.
Delia looked at him confused, not believing what she had just heard. Her mouth opened, but before she could say anything, the prince was gone.
Jonathan left the ballroom without saying a single word to all those men and women who stared at him, their gazes asking for an explaination.
So what do you think? I like writing about the thoughts of Alanna and Jon. I think it's quite interesting what they think. But no one wants to now what I think, so tell me what YOU think!
