Author's Note: Just a quick little ficlet. A lot different than what I usually write (it's cheerful, gasp!) and it isn't exactly the most original idea unless you exclude the several authors who have written about this topic, so, I'm sorry if this isn't up to par. Hope you enjoy anyway!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, the names mentioned other than April Bingham, Elizabeth Weir, John Sheppard and Rodney McKay are random names. Atlantis and it's associated characters are property of MGM (which I guess now is property of Sony...but whatever)
Pairings: McWeir, Sam/Jack a little


The Blonde Effect

Rodney McKay couldn't help but grin triumphantly. It had taken nearly a year, but he had figured out the biggest secret on Atlantis; the largest skeleton in the closet… He had found it; found definite proof! 'I should've known,' Rodney thought to himself as he held the object in his hands, leaning against the tiled wall of the bathroom.

It was quite obvious, really. They were all blondes, they being all of the women that caught his eye. Oh, sure, there was the occasional brunette or redhead, but none of them had managed to capture his heart like the blondes did. Smart, dumb, athletic…it never really mattered. Unless it was short blonde hair, now that was something. April Bingham – she was to blame for this strange obsession, really. It all started with that kiss in Algebra Club so many years ago, as hard to believe as it was. The stream of girls up to this date that he remembered dating was in fact mostly made up of blondes. Rodney tossed the object between his hands as he remembered. Aubrey, Jenny, Anna… He winced at the thought of Anna's name. She'd been quite the hottie – until he'd been informed that she'd run over her last boyfriend with a motorcycle. Needless to say, he'd been quick to cut off all contact between them. But other than that, there had never been a travesty, really. Oh sure, there'd been humiliating rejection, but he'd grown far too used to rejection by now. Still, there were enough blondes in the world to go around. There'd been Kelsey ('Too nice,' Rodney thought disdainfully), Pam ('Voted the biggest airhead of my graduating class,' he recalled clearly), Samantha Carter…

He wondered at her name for a brief moment. Only a few weeks ago he had been taping his message to Earth and said quite clearly that he still had emotions for her. Rodney nibbled on his lip as he thought, wondering if it was still true. Samantha was something…else. He couldn't explain it. She was intelligent, beautiful, but there was something that just didn't click about her… 'Oh well,' Rodney dismissed, 'I'm sure she and General O'Neill have probably already bent Air Force rules for their needs.' Even to him, and scarcely he would admit he was thick-headed when it came to recognizing other people's emotions, it was obvious that the two had something going on between them. But, anyway… With this whole blonde obsession of his, it hadn't come as much of a surprise that Elizabeth Weir was a former blonde.

Rodney grinned to himself, glancing around at his surroundings. 'Take that, Sheppard,' he thought triumphantly. Not just anyone could sneak into the boss's quarters – or, more specifically, her bathroom – and find her painstakingly hidden bottle of hair dye.

Of course, his feelings were probably proof enough. Back in Antarctica when they were working in the Ancient Outpost, back when he'd felt the first spark, he should've known. That spark that he felt between them, he should've known that was the cause of The Blonde Effect. Those deeper feelings he'd gotten over the year they'd spent holed up in Atlantis, the fear that clenched his throat when the Genii commander had aimed a gun at her, it was signature of The Blonde Effect. But somehow, over the last few weeks it had mutated into something else. Something more than happiness when they were together, something more than sparks, something more than mutual attraction… It had become something that made him smile at just the thought of her, make him wring his hands in worry for her, stand in front of a gun for her…

"Rodney!" Rodney jumped at Elizabeth Weir's surprised voice. So caught up in his thoughts, he hadn't heard the door to her quarters open or the bathroom door. He faced Elizabeth, eyes wide and the dye bottle still in plain sight. "What are you doing in my bathroom?" Elizabeth asked, her voice bordering on angry at the invasion of her privacy. Rodney weakly tried to hide the bottle of hair dye and stared at Elizabeth with a look akin to a deer caught in headlights.

"Have you ever heard of the Blonde Effect?" he asked weakly. Elizabeth put her hands on her hips, raising a single eyebrow that ordered him to continue. Rodney pushed off against the wall and stood.

He had a lot of explaining to do.